Chapter 9

Stepping into the Druid College brought back memories of times spent with John. Ed paused, finding it hard to believe that only a month had passed since his husband had given up his life to sanctify the glade. He looked over at the large photograph of John hanging next to the entrance. It was a color picture that showed John standing along one of the paths into the woods near the school. In it, John looked regal wearing his robe and cloak as he held his staff. A tear slid down Ed’s cheek as he looked at the picture of his husband.

Behind him, Betsy entered the building followed by her mother. She looked around the entry, excited to be back at the school. When she caught sight of her brothers and sister, she released a gleeful yell, ran over to greet them and bowled over her siblings in her excitement. Ling went over to help them get untangled. Kelly and Linda joined her thinking that the kids would be upset by Betsy’s roughness, but the children had turned it into a wrestling match and tickle war. The kids were having fun even though it was three against one and the one was winning.

With an abruptness that was startling, Ed turned away from his family and marched out the door. Linda noticed and felt hurt that he hadn’t greeted her. She went to follow him with the intention of yelling at him, but Kelly put a hand on her shoulder and said, “He’s grieving for John. It’s the first time that he’s really had a chance to do that.”

Linda looked at Kelly in surprise at the news. She thought that over the past thirty days that Ed would have had a chance to come to grips with John’s death. She asked, “Really?”

“He’s been busy with hiring new staff, filing taxes, working on wills, handling family business, taking over the Fusion Foundation, and following his businesses. In between all that, he’s been helping us deal with our emotions,” answered Kelly. She sighed as she thought about the strength that Ed brought to the family. John had been the fount of wisdom, but it was Ed’s strength that always saw the family through trials and tribulations. She added, “Give him an hour alone.”

“Where did he go?” asked Ling.

“I imagine that he went to the Carter Glade.”

Trudging through snow, Ed approached the glade with a heavy heart, feeling for the first time the full impact of John’s death. Upon reaching it, he looked around only to find it smaller than he had remembered. He knew that it was a hundred yards across, but it only looked about twenty-five yards across to him. There was no snow on the ground inside the circle that defined the site.

Looking at the clearing reminded him of the day when John and he had cleared it of trees. That had been a grand day, the two men working side by side to clear the land. It was a nice crisp morning, perfect for hard work. They had cut the trees down using axes, with each man working on an individual tree. Once they had felled the first tree, other Druids came out to remove the branches and cut the trunks for use in making items within the College workshops.

When the family had delivered lunch, they had eaten together sharing a communion with the outdoors. After lunch, a Druid had been injured and Kelly had healed him through her healing gift of sex. Ed had joked that she enjoyed her service to the Goddess too much at times and John had teased her about that for the rest of the day.

He stepped into the circle and looked around in surprise at the sudden increase in apparent size. Walking slowly, he moved to the center of the glade where he had last seen John. He knelt and looked up at the sky for a full minute. As his grief overwhelmed him, a sound of animal loss began in his belly and grew until it burst forth as an anguished as a primal scream that lasted for a full minute. Throughout the release of his anguish, he beat the ground with his fists.

The sound reverberated within the glade, growing in strength, to echo his feelings of grief on behalf of all those who could not express theirs. He knew that he wasn’t alone in the feelings he was experiencing, but he was alone in dealing with them.

Taking a deep breath, he shouted, “John! I miss you so much!”

Time passed slowly as his tears froze on his face. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t aware of the cold. His grief consumed his entire attention. It felt to him as if the best part of him had died with John. After a while, Ed found that he was sitting on the ground staring into the distance.

A hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present. Looking up, he found Leroy standing beside him. It never dawned on him that Leroy wasn’t supposed to be there. Confused, he asked, “Leroy? Is that you Leroy?”

“It’s me. I figured you could probably use a hand getting back into the groove of things around here,” replied the black man with a smile that showed his white teeth.

“Thank you for coming,” said Ed as he continued to sit there feeling numb. It was hard to say if it was from his grief or from the cold. He wondered how long he had been sitting alone in the glade.

“What are husbands for?” asked Leroy kneeling down beside his husband. He put an arm around him and helped Ed stand.

The hours in the cold weather had drawn all warmth from Ed’s body. Once he started moving, his entire body started to tremble uncontrollably. His hands and feet were numb. It seemed as though he stumbled with every step that he took as Leroy led him back to the college. The trip to the glade had taken very little time, but the trip back seemed to be taking forever.

As they walked, Leroy asked, “You miss him, don’t you?”

“Yes, more than anything. It seems that my life has lost its meaning,” answered Ed while concentrating more on walking than on answering the question.

“Why would it have lost its meaning?”

“Everything I did included John,” answered Ed stumbling as his numb feet slid on the snowy ground.

Leroy disappeared, being replaced by a hairy figure that looked familiar. Ed stumbled and fell to the ground. The hairy figure lumbered off, leaving Ed lying where he had fallen. It was cold. His hands and feet felt like they solid blocks of ice. He wondered where he was, but his eyelids felt like lead and he couldn’t open his eyes. An uncontrollable shiver went through his body. He was so cold.

“Were you trying to sacrifice yourself?”

The voice sounded fuzzy, as though it came from a mile away. He didn’t recognize the speaker. It was hard to tell if it was because he didn’t know who it was or if his ears weren’t working correctly. He wondered what happened to Leroy.

“You didn’t need to do that,” stated the voice.

Ed ignored the voice and thought about John. His husband was gone and would never return. The manner of John’s departure from this earth was supernatural. It made Ed wonder if John walked with the Gods and Goddesses.

“Ed, if you don’t answer me soon I’m going to leave.”

The voice sounded like John’s, but it couldn’t have been since John was dead. Confused, he asked, “John, is that you?”

“Who did you think it was?”

“John, I’ve missed you so much,” replied Ed.

He tried to open his eyes so that he could look upon his husband once again, but his eyes wouldn’t respond to his commands. Nothing about his body seemed to work. He wanted to move, but his body didn’t respond. It was cold, so cold that it could freeze hell.

“I’m not gone from your life. I’m just not in your world anymore.”

“What am I supposed to do?” asked Ed seeking guidance from the one man whose judgment he trusted above all others.

“Live. That is what the living do!”

It was as though a blast of hot air boiled through his body. Every corner of his body in which the cold had taken residence was warmed in a single instant. His eyes fluttered open. He was greeted with the sight of a very naked Kelly atop him. The sensations around his cock and the look on her face told him all that he needed to know. She was making love to him.

He reached up and caressed her breasts. She lowered the upper half of her body so that it made full contact with his. His hips thrust up into her as his conscious mind transitioned from waking to making love. His orgasm came quickly, but he had no idea how long Kelly had been riding him. Her motions conveyed that she was coming as well.

Kelly calmed down and sat up while still impaled on his cock. With a worried look on her face, she asked, “What were you thinking of?”

“Huh?”

“You were half dead out there. If you had been out there another half an hour, you’d be dead,” answered Kelly as her concern turned to a light anger. They had lost John and now Ed was trying to kill himself.

“What happened to Leroy?” asked Ed.

“Leroy? He’s back in Arizona. You know that,” answered Kelly.

“No, he was here helping me get back to the building,” replied Ed confused.

“You were frozen solid in the snow. There was no one else,” countered Kelly, “and if Fluffy hadn’t found you, we’d still be looking for you.”

“Leroy came out there and reminded me to come back. He helped me stand and walk back to the building. I don’t remember much after taking a few steps,” explained Ed. The sight of the hairy being lumbering away made him wonder if he had hallucinated Leroy in place of Fluffy.

“Leroy isn’t here. You were out there alone.”

“John was there,” said Ed.

Kelly, hearing what Ed was saying, looked down at her husband with tears in her eyes. She said, “Ed, you were delirious.”

“Live. That is what the living do!” The last thing that John had said to him out there echoed in his mind. He wondered if he had been living since John had passed to the other side. When he had made love to Kim, had he tasted the full flavor of the act? He tried to remember, but couldn’t recall the degree to which he had been emotionally engaged with her.

Feeling weak, Ed said, “I’ll be okay. I just need a little time to get back on my feet.”

Kelly climbed off the infirmary bed knowing that he wouldn’t lie to her. This entire episode had upset her and she didn’t know what to do. His grief must have been far greater than she had realized if it had allowed him to almost die out in the cold. She had allowed him to go out there alone. She took his hand and kissed it.

“I’ll let you sleep.”

Ed answered, “Thanks.”

Kelly left the infirmary, pausing once to look back at Ed. Her husband had already fallen asleep, but this was the rest of a man at peace and not the sleep of the dead. She frowned as she thought of her failure to support Ed and left to find the rest of the family. She needed to talk to the other two wives about this.

Ed woke feeling alert. Looking around, he recognized that he was in the infirmary. His stomach growled. Thinking about it, he realized that he hadn’t eaten since leaving Arizona. He sat up and looked around for Laura. Despite the fact that it was an infirmary, this room had a very cheerful and upbeat atmosphere.

Hearing the noise from her patient, Laura glanced through the door and saw that he was awake at long last. She asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Fine, just very hungry,” answered Ed as Laura approached the bed in the manner of medical professionals everywhere.

“You should be, it’s been at least twenty four hours since you last ate,” commented the Druid as she proceeded to check his condition. Like everyone that Kelly had healed, he was in outstanding physical condition.

“Is the dining room open?” asked Ed.

“Yes, but you can’t leave here until I’m satisfied that you’re all right. You almost died yesterday,” answered Laura.

His stomach growled in protest at being kept from going to eat. He yawned and stretched for a second before realizing that he had awakened without his normal morning grogginess. He wasn’t going to question how he felt.

“Well, I’m pretty hungry,” replied Ed.

Shaking her head, Laura said, “I can’t find anything wrong with you. Go and eat.”

Ed dressed and left the infirmary heading straight for the first year dining room. He reached the dining room in record time and sat down at a table where he would be noticed. When the waitress came to the table, he said, “I’ll have scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy, and coffee.”

Raising an eyebrow, she asked, “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” replied Ed a little confused by the question. He looked up at the clock and realized that it was almost lunchtime. Shrugging off the time, he considered that in Arizona it would constitute a late breakfast.

Looking around the empty dining room, Ed knew that it would be filling up soon with students coming from their classes. The noise level would rise and there would be a number of minor arguments, but nothing compared to what there had been at the start of the school year. He smiled at his observations concerning the changes in the students that occurred over the course of the first year. It was proof to him that the college was serving its purpose.

The waitress brought over his breakfast and set it on the table in front of Ed. He had taken the time to watch her walk over. He put her age around forty-five or so. Like many of the people that worked with the first years, she had chosen to wear a minimum amount of clothes that were practical for her job. For the waitresses, this meant wearing an apron and a pair of support shoes. Her body showed the results of childbearing with stretch marks around her abdomen and breasts. She had varicose veins along her legs. It amazed him that she chose to bare herself around so many young people.

As she turned to leave, he asked, “Do you like working here?”

Surprised by the question, the waitress turned and answered, “Yes, I do.”

“I noticed that you have taken to wearing only an apron. The last time I saw you, you were fully dressed. I was curious why so many people from town that work here have taken to dressing down in a such a fashion,” commented Ed.

“I can’t speak for others, but I have observed that the longer the kids were unclothed around here the better people they became. After a month here, they stop complaining about every little thing. After two months, the number of arguments goes down. Around three months, they start becoming a little more helpful. I don’t know if being naked has anything to do with it, but it seems to be a part of it to me. I just felt that I wanted to be a better person,” replied the waitress looking away from Ed the entire time she spoke.

“Interesting,” replied Ed as he considered her answer. Curious, he asked, “Is the town changing?”

“The town?” asked the waitress, turning to look at Ed with her eyes wide in surprise.

“I was just wondering if the people that work here were changing things in town.”

“I really haven’t taken the time to notice,” replied the waitress. She was silent for a moment as she thought more about his question and then looked at the breakfast sitting in front of Ed. She said, “You better start to eat before your breakfast gets cold.”

“Thanks,” he answered, “I’d hate to eat cold gravy on my biscuits.”

He watched the waitress leave and turned his attention to his food. The gravy was excellent, not greasy even though it was loaded with bits of sausage. The biscuits were moist and fresh despite the late hour. He poured a little of the gravy over the scrambled eggs and tasted them. It was hard to ruin scrambled eggs except by letting them sit under a heat lamp.