Chapter 5

At breakfast the next morning Jan tried talking with Tim, but he obviously was still angry, ate his breakfast in silence and left without kissing her. Later that morning he phoned. At first Jan thought he might be wanting to make up, but instead he rather formally announced that, because the analyst who was scheduled to go, had had a death in the family, he had been asked, at the last minute, to attend a three day conference in St. Louis. His plane would be leaving that evening and he would be coming home to pack.

Jan laid out some of his clothes for him, hoping they would have a chance to talk when he got home.

"Tim, let's talk. We need to get things right between us."

He turned from his packing to face her.

"It seems like we've been growing apart for some time Jan. You have your interests and I have mine. Well, that was OK, but we just keep spending less and less time together. Then the other night I began to realize that I don't really know you at all. You obviously want a lot more than I ever thought."

"Don't you think you're blowing this out of proportion?"

"You dressed like a whore, even when you knew I didn't want you to, then you acted like one, letting him pick you up and carry you around the dance floor like that."

"Tim, I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, but all we did was dance."

She wasn't about to tell her husband the nature of Michael's and her conversation that evening on the dance floor.

"No wife of mine is going to let a man fondle her like that!"

"He didn't..."

"It had better not happen again and I don't want you even talking to Michael any more!"

"Are you giving me orders now, Tim?"

"Well somebody needs to!"

"Tim I can't believe you're saying that."

"You just better make up your mind, Jan. If you want to be my wife..."

Now resentment was rising in Jan.

"Oh, so now I am to obey the master of the house. Is that it?"

"Something like that, yeah."

She was fighting hard now to contain her anger.

"Well, if you hadn't noticed, I have a life of my own. I do have interests others than yours and I have friends and I will not have you telling me what interests I may pursue or who my friends can be."

"You just stay away from him.You hear me?"

"Oh I hear you just fine, Tim."

"I'll be back in three days," he announced, closing the suitcase, striding from the room, down the stairs and out to the car where he threw the suitcase in the back seat and drove off.

Jan was stunned and hurt. He had never left before without kissing her goodbye, but perhaps even more painful was his venting his feelings and the realization that in one respect Tim had been right. They had grown apart. As his interest narrowed and deepened in a technology which Jan admitted to herself she distrusted as dehumanizing, her own interests had expanded. As a result they had grown apart, their moments of true intimacy becoming rarer as Tim seemed to become more like the computers which had become his life. In all honesty, she knew it was Tim who had driven them apart, making no effort to embrace her interests, instead rambling on incessantly about his own little world (no pun intended) of computers.

As her anger began to subside, she questioned what she had seen in him to lead her to believe they would be happy together. He was a decent man, yes, but, in being honest with herself, she knew she accepted his offer of marriage somewhat out of a sense of desperation. She had never dreamed for a moment that anyone other than a diminutive could possibly have any interest in her and the small men she had known were so few that perhaps she had snatched at his offer for a life and family instead of truly considering it. Perhaps she had settled for too little.

That evening she tried watching TV, interesting herself in a police drama which she and Tim watched every week. Suddenly she realized she had no real interest in the show at all, but watched it with Tim because it was one of his favorites. As a matter of fact, she thought, virtually everything they watched on TV was what he wanted to watch, they dined in his favorite restaurants, the few friends they knew aside from Sheila and Michael were all people with whom Tim worked and their families. Jan felt a sudden chill. She was allowing her life to be slowly replaced, bit by bit, by Tim.

The longings she had been experiencing for some time, returned and with them her thoughts shifted to Michael. He was everything Tim was not. Not just his size. He was charming, worldly, sensual and... he found her desirable. Jan felt her heart speed up just thinking of him, her forbidden feelings for him even stronger now than before. Her eyes fluttered closed and in her mind she was again swept into his arms and held closely as they danced. She again felt her desire for the man rise in her as she recalled his words of seduction.

Jan shook her head as if to banish such thoughts, but they persisted. She rose, went to the window and looked to her neighbor's house. The lights were on but she saw no one. She turned, looking to the phone, then again chided herself for even considering the unthinkable. She turned off the TV and picked up a book she had been meaning to read, but she found herself having to reread the sentences again and again as images of Michael flashed across her consciousness. In frustration the book was discarded and she began pacing, her eyes darting to the phone, then away as she told herself that what she was contemplating was wrong. She was a married woman. She could not do this. Yet, for every argument she could conjure to convince her to forget the transgression she was considering, there seemed to be three urging her on. She felt her temperature rise as she imagined what it would be like in Michael's arms. Could she actually satisfy him? Could her body even accept...

No, I can't, I mustn't, she whispered to herself, as her hand reached for the phone, then jerked away. She began pacing to walk off some of the nervous sexual energy which continued to build. Her thoughts now were sensual as she imagined herself impaled, screaming in unbridled sexual release as the handsome next door neighbor released his hot seed into her. She realized her nipples were hard and aching to be caressed, her body burning and her nest soaking.

Her conscious mind shutting down, her body controlled the young woman as she picked up the phone and dialed.

Her heart missed a beat as she recognized the voice on the other end.

"Michael, I need to see you, " she whispered urgently.

When Jan had explained on the phone that Tim was out of town, Michael had told her he would be right over. She hurriedly changed into a lovely pleated print dress, stockings and heels. As she passed her jewelry box she paused, then took out the necklace Michael had given her, but with her conscience nagging at her, she simply put it back and closed the lid.

Hearing the doorbell, she looked in the mirror a final time for two reasons. First, to make sure she was as attractive as possible and secondly to look herself in the eye and resolve to go forward with what she now began to consider an impetuous impulse. For one brief moment she thought of not even answering the door, of apologizing by phone to Michael later for her rash call, but she ached to be with him and when the bell sounded a second time, she knew she could not stop herself from seeing him, talking with him, enjoying his company. After all, she thought, the necklace is safely tucked away. Perhaps I'll even return it to him, safely keeping temptation at bay.

"You're even lovelier than I remembered," he said, staring at the diminutive creature who stood holding the door.

"Please, come in," she urged. "Michael, I need to talk with you," she continued as she ushered him into the living room and they sat on the couch.

"I'm a bit confused," he admitted, "you said on the phone you needed to see me. I'm here, but you aren't wearing the necklace."

"I... I... I'm torn Michael. I'll be honest. I've thought of you almost constantly since last night. Tim thinks I threw myself at you. Perhaps I did. I've never felt so alive as when you held me and we danced."

"Then..." he started.

"But I'm married Michael. Tim is my husband!"

"Funny, I don't remember asking you to divorce him."

"But what you were suggesting..."

"Is that you allow yourself to experience something new and different, something you'll never be able to experience with Tim."

"But..."

He moved closer to her, his arm on the top of the couch as he looked down at her.

"You're a beautiful woman Jan, with a woman's needs. Just holding you last night I could feel your body crying out for satisfaction. Why deny yourself pleasure just to satisfy social conventions of morality? No one is asking you to hurt Tim. Certainly not me. He doesn't ever have to know and you, in the meantime, will derive some much needed and much deserved pleasure and happiness."

"You make it sound so wonderful."

"It is wonderful. We have an attraction for each other. Why deny it and remain unhappy? Why not let yourself indulge in a little pleasure? You can always stop whenever you want."

"What if I find I don't want to stop,"

"All the better. I'll make sure you're satisfied whenever you want."

Jan could feel her heart beating faster as Michael took her hand in his.

"I'm here, Jan. I'm with you and we're alone."

"What about Sheila?"

"Sheila not only loves me, but understands me as well."

"You mean She knows... ?"

"About us. Of course. She and I have no secrets. We agreed long ago that we wanted to make each other happy, no matter what it took."

"She knows you're here?"

"Of course and she doesn't expect me back until morning."

Jan's mouth dropped open.

"So, you see, we have the evening to ourselves," he continued. "Let's don't waste it."

He stood up.

"How about some music?" he asked.

Jan, still a bit nonplused, smiled and put some romantic music on the stereo.

"Now the lights," he suggested.

She quickly got some candles from the hutch, set three of them around the room, lit them and turned off the room lights. The house was now dark except for the romantic candle light.

Michael bent over and gently swept her into his arms just as he had done the night before and began swaying to the soft strains of the string orchestra.

"Michael, I..." she started, but he silenced her with a kiss, at first, light, sensuous and romantic, then turning passionate as Jan opened her mouth to allow his tongue to penetrate, stimulate and explore. She felt her temperature rising and her breathing was becoming ragged as, breathless, her arm went around his neck and pulled him closer. He feasted on her tiny mouth, his tongue finding her own as he drank of her and she willingly gave herself to him.

"Your lips are so tender Jan, your mouth so sweet."

In response, she pulled herself still closer, wanting him to feel her erect nipples as she hugged him desperately.

His left hand left hers and found its way to the back of her dress.

"Michael... I'm not sure..." she began as his fingers deftly and slowly unzipped the dress.

"Shhhhhh, my darling," he whispered as he continued to glide to the music and her dress began to slide away.

"Michael, are you sure?" she pleaded.

"Very sure, my lovely," he replied, unzipping the dress the rest of the way.

She put both arms around his neck as he allowed the dress to fall away from her to the floor, then resumed his embrace and dance.

"Much better," he breathed in her ear. "I can feel your heart pounding Jan, I can feel the softness of those luscious breasts."

"Oh, Michael," she whimpered, lost to the moment and this magical man.

His left hand slid slowly up and down her leg and Jan could not only feel her body begin to burn, but she knew her panties were soaked with desire. He unclasped each high heel and let it sensuously slide from her foot. Jan's eyes closed as his hand made its tantalizing way up her leg and thigh to begin rolling down first the right stocking and then the left, each slipping silently from her smoothly shaven legs.

He danced romantically with her, Jan clad only in her bra and panties.

Again her arms went around his neck as his hand found the clasp of her bra. She was amazed that using only the one hand, he quickly had the clasp unhooked.

"Michael, you're the only man other than..."

"They're beautiful, Jan," he whispered as he slipped the bra away from her and it too joined her dress, shoes and stockings on the floor.

"But, they're so small compared to..."

"We needn't compare them with anything Jan. They're beautifully proportioned for your body, lovely to look at and to touch," he whispered as his hand came up to first cradle then cup and finally caress breast and nipple.

"Ooooooooo, Michael," she moaned in ecstasy/agony; ecstasy from the erotic feel of his touch, the way his fingers played with her erect nipples and the agony of desire which was consuming her.

His right arm lifted her and his kisses left her mouth and he began nibbling at her neck, arousing her even further. As his mouth found her left breast, Jan was beside herself.

"Yessssssssss," she cried softly as his lips closed on her nipple and his tongue and teeth began driving her mindless.

She began moaning as her right breast was given the same sensuous pleasure.

She yelped in delight as he bit, gently and felt a shiver of delight course through her body.

She unbuttoned his shirt so she could press her breasts against him as she felt his attention shift.

"Michael, I'm wet for you!" she cried as his left arm replaced the right in supporting her and the right hand began an erotic journey up the inside of her thigh.