I caught the bouquet! I caught the bouquet!

How the hell did that happen?

When they started moving all the single girls to the dance floor for this little ritual, I moved to the farthest point I could find, the bar. I ordered up a pleasant little conversation with my good buddy Jim Beam and sat in a chair as far from the theatrics as I could possibly get.

I watched as they purposely set up a soft lob from the Bride to the Maid of Honor, all but handing her the damned thing, and off they went. Unfortunately, some of the other single ladies weren’t having it. One bumped, one pushed, they all grabbed. The Maid of Honor flailed and lost her grip unleashing the proverbial Hail Mary pass, which flew across the room and landed where? Right in my lap. What the hell was I supposed to do with this thing?

The only reason I even came to this wedding was that it was fairly close to home and they were going to have an open bar. I figured I’d come party with my college friends, have a few drinks, and if I was lucky, bang a drunken bridesmaid or two. Now here I was with a bunch of wilting flowers, and every single girl in the room giving me the stink eye for sitting in the wrong place at the wrong time.

My first reaction was to get rid of that thing like it was a live hand grenade that someone had thrown in my lap. Then I looked up and saw the advancing army of bridesmaids. The only hope I had was to hunch myself over and cover all my extremities to keep from being torn to pieces. The same thing I’d do if a bear attacked me, or in this case, six or seven of them.

The next thing I knew I was beset upon by a mob of single, drunken women all determined to wrestle this sad little clump of flowers from my hands. All of them desperate to ensure that they would be the next one to plan a wedding of their own.

When they finally all gave up, I somehow emerged victorious and jokingly claimed my place as “Catcher of the Bouquet.” The cheesy wedding singer, who obviously wasn’t being paid enough to care, saw someone emerge holding the bouquet. So, he went with it and declared me the winner.

The Bride wasn’t happy. The groom, my friend, wasn’t too happy because his new wife wasn’t happy, even though he thought it was hilarious. The Maid of Honor, Kate, was the unhappiest of all. That was supposed to be hers dammit! But when the emcee called it a wash and moved on to the garter tossing ceremony, everyone let it go and moved on. I suggested Kate get in line again and try for a different catch, and to my surprise, she did just that!

Kate was a beautiful girl, easily more so than the bride herself. Even in that hideous bridesmaid dress, the eyes of every unattached male in the place were on Kate, especially now that she was competing with them for their prize. I think she used that to her advantage too because she managed to rip the garter out of some poor guy’s hands as he stumbled drunkenly to the floor. Some of the other groomsmen made feeble attempts to chase her down for it, but when they saw what they were up against, they quickly backed down. Only the best man made one grab at it, but I think he was more interested in grabbing at her than at the garter. Kate shut him down easily. Now she had her own prize.

In the span of a mere ten minutes, Kate and I had unwittingly set this whole wedding ass backward. I could barely stop laughing.

There was some bitching and whining about the whole garter/bouquet thing, but since almost everyone had been drinking quite a lot at this point, the bride and groom laughed it off and said “Screw it! Let’s have cake!” And the festivities continued.

Before that cake had even been cut, one of the disgruntled bridesmaids, Maddy, had sidled up to me and started trying to sweet-talk me into giving that bouquet to her. I suddenly realized that thing would probably work better than a master key into all the single girls’ rooms for the rest of the weekend. This might actually be a blessing in disguise!

I started warming up to Maddy, getting as close as we could in a room full of people, trying to get a sense of exactly how far she was willing to go for a bunch of dead stems. I walked her back to my lucky seat by the bar and ordered us some drinks. I soon got the sense that she was pretty willing. My wandering hands made her smile. My almost pornographic innuendo only brought on answers in kind. This really was my lucky day!

Then, as Maddy and I pulled our chairs together into one the darker corners, we were joined by Jillian, one of the other bridesmaids. Ignoring Maddy completely, she looked at me and said.

“You’re not going to give that away without considering all your options are ya?”

I felt afraid of being trapped between the two of them, so I resorted the only equalizer I could think of, booze. I went up to the bar and bribed my bartender friend for a bottle of tequila and three shot glasses.

When the band started playing again, the three of us invented our own little dance. It was a threesome that involved a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of tequila. It basically went, step – step – drink, step – step – drink. Think the Hokey Pokey except that the only thing that ever got put in was more tequila.

This went on for a while until the little touches and innuendo started turning into groping and downright propositioning. Maddy would whisper an offer in my ear, and Jillian would be caressing my chest. Seeing that, Maddy would slide her hand down the front of my pants, and then Jillian would whisper something even naughtier in my other ear. This was perfect. Finally, Maddy suggested we go to her room to discuss terms of a trade. I’m sure she meant the two of us, alone, but there was Jillian glued to my other side as we exited the ballroom. She wasn’t giving up that easily.

When we got to Maddy’s room, it turned into a free for all. The tequila and shot glasses got dropped on a desk, the shoes flew off and the two girls all but attacked me and threw me on the bed.

I didn’t know which way to turn. One kissed me from this side, then the other pulled me to that side. As I slid the zipper down the back of this one, that one was pulling the zipper down on my pants. I never knew from one moment to the next who had my dick in their mouth, or whose pussy I was licking, and I didn’t really care.

At some point, the girls started kissing and touching each other, leaving me a little more control of where I wanted to be. Maddy was on her back while Jillian was between her legs and kissing her way down her tummy. I slid up behind Jillian, grabbed those hips and drove myself up inside her. She was hot and wet, and let out a scream as I entered her from behind and immediately started pumping away. Oh yes, that was more like it.

Maddy grabbed Jillian’s head and pushed her down between her legs. Jillian did her best to give Maddy all her attention but would have to stop every now and then to scream when I drove into her extra hard. That’s when I remembered why I had come to this stupid wedding!

Maddy, having had enough of Jillian’s tongue and fingers, pushed her to the side and out of my grip. Maddy wanted something more. I scooted forward to where Jillian had been, grabbed Maddy’s legs under her knees and pulled them up to my shoulders. Jillian took hold of my cock right guided it right into Maddy’s steaming pussy. I leaned forward and drove myself into her. Good lord, she was tight. Then she squeezed her legs together and made it even tighter, and made it harder to push into her. I had to really drive hard to get myself into her, and that was exactly the way she liked it. She let out a grunt every time I hammered into her.

Not wanting to be left out, Jillian decided it was Maddy’s turn to lick. She climbed up onto the bed and straddled her legs over Maddy’s face. Maddy’s tongue found her spot within seconds. Jillian started moaning and squirming on Maddy’s face. She tried to grab me and start kissing and touching but I was working so hard on pounding myself into Maddy’s tight hole that Jillian couldn’t keep a grip.

I was getting close. Any moment now I would be ready to shoot off everything I had. Maddy sensed how close I was and offered me a deal.

“If you promise to give me the bouquet, I’ll let you cum inside me!”

Bouquet? What Bouquet? I had forgotten all about the stupid bouquet. Of course I would give it to her if I could only finish what I was doing. I pounded even harder, ready to blow at any second.

Jillian sat up and looked around the room.

“Wait, where is the bouquet?”