Chapter 23

That evening Mioki was delighted to hear her father suggest that he, Darius and Tachi drive into town for drinks at the local pub so he could introduce his soon to be son-in-law to his friends.

"Now don't wait up. We've got some serious drinking to do," laughed her father as the three got into the family pick-up truck and drove off.

Mioki and her mother finished the dishes went into the living room to relax and chat. Her mother although almost forty-two, was still quite fit and attractive, simply a well aged version of her beautiful daughter. Her face still claimed the classic Asian almond eyes of sparkling brown with a body, slightly taller than her daughter's, her breasts and hips slightly larger, her legs still quite shapely. After a few minutes of typical girl chat there was a pause as Mioki looked to her mother with a troubled expression.

"What is it honey? What's wrong?"

Mioki made sure her voice sounded hesitant.

"I... don't know how to say this to you."

"We've never had trouble talking to each other. Besides," said the older Tanaka smiling gently, "that's what moms are for, right?"

"I... I guess so. It's just that it's so... personal."

Her mother, hearing the seriousness in her daughter's voice, moved closer and put her arm around Mioki, stroking her hair much as she had done when her daughter was much younger.

"I... I'm not sure I can marry Darius."

"What? Why not?"

"Because... because... oh I just can't!"

"You can tell me anything Mioki," said the soft spoken voice.

"Mom... I... I... I think I may be lesbian!" she blurted out.

Her mother's mouth dropped open in surprise for only a moment.

"Why do you think that?"

"I have these feelings for my roommate."

"Is this the Cathy you told me had moved in and then moved out again so quickly?"

"Yes... she told me she loved me and begged me not to marry Darius, but when I told her I was going through with it, she packed up and left. I know I hurt her deeply."

"But simply because you chose Darius..."

"That's not all. She told me she loved me and wanted us to have our own private marriage ceremony."

"But what she wanted is not..."

"You don't understand! She kissed me... and I kissed her back. Her kiss was different than Darius's. His are strong and powerful while her kiss was soft, tender and sweet. I can't get her out of my mind. I keep wondering if maybe it's her love I really want."

"Perhaps it's just infatuation. Something very new and different and therefore exciting."

"But that's the point Mom. I know you and Dad wouldn't approve, but I've been to bed with Darius. He's a wonderful lover, but then why can't I forget Cathy? In my mind, why do I keep tasting her lips and wanting more?"

Mioki's mother held her daughter's head in her hands, looking her directly in the eye.

"... Perhaps because every woman has wondered the same thing at some point in her life. Our needs are so different from those of men that we are almost bound to wonder if a woman couldn't provide those needs better than a man."

"You mean you... ?" asked Mioki.

"It... was a long time ago. You father and I had only been married for a year or so. We were having problems with our marriage. We had borrowed heavily against the ranch and the payments were breaking our backs. Your father was preoccupied with the finances and the fear of losing the ranch. We argued. We withdrew from each other. He had an affair with a woman who worked at the bank. I felt unloved. I could not bring myself to be with another man, even knowing what was going on, and so I grew desperate. When I met Danielle who worked in a clothing store in town, I was at a low point in my life. She sensed what I needed and was there for me in every way."

"You made love?" asked Mioki feigning astonishment.

"Yes, she was wonderful. I fell in love with her, was ready to leave your father, but she, wisely, told me to take the time necessary to make the right decision. She told me to decide whose bed I wished to sleep in for the rest of my life."

"And you chose Dad."

"I almost didn't, but he and I sat down and we both talked it through. He gave up the bank teller and I gave up Danielle."

"But that's my point. You had slept with them both. You had some basis to decide."

"The decision was based upon a lot more than just whose body gave me more pleasure."

"I know, but I long to hold her again, kiss her... I can't bear the thoughts of getting married, even to a man as wonderful as Darius, without knowing what it could be like with a woman."

"Then call her."

"I have no idea at the moment where she is and the wedding is day after tomorrow," Mioki sobbed.

"Perhaps you should postpone the wedding."

"With the plans already made? And what would I tell Darius?"

"Then I don't see how..."

"Mom... show me!" said Mioki putting her arms around the older woman.

"Mioki!"

"Just this once! You know what it's like!"

"Mioki, do you realize what you are... ?"

"You showed me how to kiss once, remember?"

"... But honey, that was just before the prom. You asked me to show you how to kiss a boy."

"But mom, your lips were warm and tender then, I know they're just as tender now."

"Mioki... I couldn't..."

"But don't you see Mom, it's really no different. You showed me then how to be a woman for a man."

"But that was simply a kiss. What you are suggesting..."

"Is to show me how to be a woman... for a woman."