Chapter 5: Aftermath

It was with some trepidation that Adam greeted the next morning. Something momentous had occurred yesterday, he was certain - although what, he wasn't sure. He felt he had passed some milestone; some point from which there could be no return, and he smelled bridges burning furiously behind him. Somewhat to his surprise, the world was no different: the sun still shone, the wind still blew, the flowers still bloomed and nodded in the breeze and the sparrows still chirruped in the ivy. He glanced up at the old, grey building before him. Its ivy-clad walls, normally so mellow and friendly, seemed to loom disapprovingly this morning. Behind the deep-set windows, a host of probing, knowing eyes scrutinized his progress and grinning mouths exchanged arch remarks between giggles. He gave himself a mental shake and told himself he was being foolish. Still he could not dispel the mood of apprehension and he was he was somewhat distracted when he faced his first class.

Fortunately for his sanity, his first few classes were with the younger girls. They behaved with almost disappointing normality and he slowly began to relax into his normal groove. He thought, briefly about avoiding the staff room at break but knew that would be out of character. Again, almost to his disappointment, everything seemed normal. Jacqueline and Marcia were discussing a TV programme from last night. Barbara was reading with Evaline sitting quietly beside her sipping her tea. Helen was not present and, thank God, neither was Anne. He breathed an inward sigh of relief. Although he knew he would have to face her some time soon, but he was thankful that it was not now.

As he poured himself coffee, Jacqueline came up behind him.

"So what's with the girls this morning?"

He felt himself flushing, "Sorry?"

"Don't tell me you hadn't noticed?"

"Er... Well, they do seem a bit quiet, that's true."

"A bit quiet!" Jacqueline exploded. "They're positively comatose. Especially the 5th. They're like refugees from a convent. Veronica and Melanie are positively out of sorts and Felicia hasn't showed up at all."

He gave a start. "Oh? Nothing serious I hope?"

"No idea. She just wasn't in class."

"Oh. Well I have them after break. We'll see then."

Jacqueline had a sudden insight. "They haven't been disciplined, by any chance? That would explain it."

Adam swallowed in a dry throat. "Er... It's possible, I suppose. They were getting a bit out of hand."

"I thought so," she said, triumphantly. She looked at him, shrewdly.

"You didn't have anything to do with it, by any chance?"

Adam's heart sank. "Well, um, it's possible. I did mention a couple of things to Anne and... er... well..."

Jacqueline nudged him sharply and leered. "Well that explains it. They're always a bit down after a disciplining. They'll be back to normal in no time. Not fair, though, Anne having all the fun and not telling us."

Adam spluttered over his last mouthful of coffee and flushed. "Er, well, I'd better be getting back."

He hurried from the room and didn't see the strange look Jacqueline gave to his retreating back.

As the 5th year filed in, he searched their faces anxiously but covertly, looking for some sign - what sort of sign he didn't know. They entered quietly. They were down as Jacqueline had said. Veronica and Melanie seated themselves rather gingerly, he thought, although it could have been his imagination. Felicia was not with them. He looked up now, trying to control his thumping heart and hoping his voice would not croak. He noticed that they were all dressed very demurely: no deviations from the regulation skirts and blouses. Somehow, this gave him confidence and he launched into the lesson.

They were subdued. They seemed to pay more attention, to listen to his words carefully. He was aware of four pairs of eyes fixed upon him as he explained a particularly obscure calculation. For some reason this was both extremely disconcerting and immensely erotic. His delivery almost stumbled but he managed to finish his explanation and set them a problem to solve. He sat and looked at their sleek, young heads bent over their books.

Then, in a flash, it came to him; they were scared of him - no, scared wasn't the right word - wary, cautious, even respectful. He tried to think it through. The answer came to him in a flash. It was obvious. He had severely chastised three of them - thrashed them soundly. They had been forced to expose their bare bottoms to him and allow him to beat them severely. It was debasing, humiliating. They had accepted his authority: accepted that he had the power to compel them to expose themselves; accepted his right to punish them. Of course they would be obsequious. He almost laughed aloud with sheer exhilaration. Miranda glanced up from her work. He grinned at her and she quickly returned to her task. He breathed deeply, savouring the moment.

The rest of the lesson, and, indeed, the rest of the day, passed quickly. Adam wanted to test this new-found power - to see how far he could use it, and in what directions. He realised that the situation that had led to the punishment no longer disturbed him. It wouldn't bother him if they came in half-naked. He also realised that he would readily discipline them again - in fact he might be rather glad of an excuse. But first, he needed to determine some limits and make some plans. He went to find Anne.

She was in her office.

"Adam... , she began, coming out from behind her desk as he entered.

Without conscious thought they were in each others' arms and kissing with passionate abandon. He could feel those magnificent breasts pressed tight against his chest, the nipples growing hard. He ran his hands through her hair, up and down her arched back, cupped the cheeks of her bottom and pulled her fiercely to him. She clutched at his shoulders and his head as she thrust her tongue into his mouth and wriggled it around lewdly. His cock swelled and stiffened and she rubbed her belly against it shamelessly.

"Oh, Adam... , " she gasped when they parted at last.

"Anne, I'm so glad..."

"I didn't know... I wondered..."

"I know. I didn't know either until just now..."

They held each other tightly, touching, cuddling, caressing; lost in each other in a haze of lust.

"Anne, what's happening to us?"

"I don't know."

"I can hardly tell you what you make me feel. I want to kiss you and hold you and rip off your clothes you and fuck you senseless and do all sorts of dirty and beautiful things with you."

She shivered and giggled. "And so you shall. We'll do everything and then some."

He put his hands on her shoulders and held her away from him. "It's all wrong, though, isn't it?"

"Wrong?"

"This! Us! You're the Headmistress of a very respectable girl's school and I'm just a hired hand. What would happen if it all came out?"

She looked at him very seriously as if seeking the answer to some unspoken question.

"I don't think you need worry about that," she said slowly and seriously. "For the moment, let's just enjoy this and each other. I don't think there'll be any problems in the long term."

"But..."

She put a finger to his lips. "No buts. Trust me. As your Headmistress and your lover. It'll be OK."

He shrugged. "You're the boss, lady. I shall enjoy every steamy moment."

Then, suddenly, the reality of the last two days came crashing down on him. The real truth hit him like a sledgehammer. The dreams of power, the insights in the classroom were fantasies, chimeras. The scales seemed to slip from his eyes and he stiffened in her embrace.

"What's the matter, lover?"

"I... Oh... Oh, shit..."

She caressed his cheek. "Talk to me. Somehow I don't think I'll be offended." She smiled.

He looked down and into her big brown eyes. "Can we sit down? There's something I must tell you."

They sat side by side on the leather settee, knees touching, holding hands. He took a deep breath and searched for the right words.

"It's about yesterday," he began.

"The punishment?"

He nodded. "Yes. It's difficult to find the words, so please bear with me. You see, before yesterday I had never hit anybody - oh, except for the odd playground scrap at school, but that doesn't count. What I mean is that I've never deliberately caused someone pain. And yesterday I purposely and calculatingly whipped the bottoms of three teenage girls - girls who were in my trust and care. I beat them and hurt them - one of them possibly seriously."

He stopped and looked at her, his face drawn in distress. "But, Adam, you knew that you might have to do that when you took the job. I thought I made that clear at the interview."

"I know, I know. But saying you'd do it and the reality of actually doing it are two completely different things."

"Well, if that's how you feel about it... ," Anne said stiffly. "But I must say I'm most disappointed."

He shook his head miserably. "No. No. You don't understand." He looked at her earnestly. "It wasn't the punishment itself - they deserved it and I can now see why you have a policy of corporal punishment. No. My problem worse than that - much worse." He took a deep breath to calm himself. "Punishment is punishment. You give it because it is merited - whether it's a punishment exercise, detention or, or a spanking. The thing is it's impersonal - the child breaks the rules, there's a laid- down punishment, you give it. You don't get involved in it. Do you see what I mean?" Anne was looking at him with concern and trepidation. He hurried on, "The thing about yesterday is, and I'm deeply ashamed to admit this, that it wasn't impersonal. It was one of the most enjoyable and intensely erotic experiences of my life. If you hadn't been there, I don't know what I'd have done. I don't think I could have controlled myself.

"No!" he held up his hand to prevent her speaking. "Please let me finish this. Then you can decide what to do.

"This morning, I was really troubled. I felt... I don't know what I felt. I felt ashamed and guilty. I was not looking forward to meeting the 5th again. And when Veronica and the others came in I nearly bolted. But they behaved very strangely - they were very proper and sat and listened and worked diligently - oh, and they were dressed appropriately. Well, I couldn't figure it out for a while - no hint of rebellion, no sulking, no sly uncooperativeness. I was flabbergasted. And then, suddenly, it dawned on me. They were a bit apprehensive, naturally, but mainly they were respectful, even deferential. I realised that I had taken them on; called their bluff - and I had won.

"I realised that the threat of punishment gave me complete power over them. That, for all they knew, I could call them out - any one at any time - and mistreat them, beat them, humiliate them - and they couldn't do anything about it. The thing was, Anne... The thing that really shocked me was that I revelled in that feeling - gloried in it - of the knowledge I could do exactly that - spank them, beat them, thrash them."

He looked up at her, pleadingly.

"And, God help, me Anne. I sat there in that classroom and knew with complete certainty that I wanted to take each and every in of them and bend them over and bare their round, teenage bottoms, and whip them hard and make them squeal. What's worst of all is that, after I had done all these terrible things to them, I wanted to shove my cock deep into their teenage twats and fuck 'em senseless. Every single blessed one of them from little Sophie right up to Miss Flirt herself, Felicia Romiss."

He took a deep, shuddering breath. "I am sorry, Anne, I know these are terrible thoughts to have and terrible things to say and I'll..."

He broke off and looked at Anne's face. She was regarding him seriously but not disapprovingly.

"Adam, I'm very glad you've unburdened yourself to me like this. I want to assure you that your thoughts and feelings are not abnormal nor, you may be surprised to hear, unusual. So the first thing is that you mustn't feel guilty.

"I suspect you were about to tender your resignation. I won't hear of it. The very fact that you recognised your reactions and were more then willing to confess them makes me sure that you are the right man for the job. So, not one more word about resigning. Okay?"

Adam nodded, mutely astonished.

"I say with total certainty that I know exactly how you feel and that your feelings are neither unusual nor abnormal." She paused. "Now I want you to answer me this question - how do I know exactly how you feel and how can be I be certain that it's not abnormal?"

He gaped at her as the penny slowly dropped. "You mean..."

She nodded, smiling. "Yes, say it."

"You mean you have the same feelings too? That you, too, are turned on by the thought of beating girl's bottoms? Oh, my God."

Anne beamed at him. "Yes. It's true. Couldn't you tell from my reaction yesterday?"

"Oh," he said. "I'm a complete fool. I've been so caught up in my own guilt trip that I stopped thinking... I'm sorry. What must you think of me..."

"Adam, dear heart," she laughed. "You're not a fool. You're just caught up in something you don't understand yet. I know it's difficult to deal with."

He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them gently.

"Actually I'm rather glad to know that you feel the same as I do." She looked at him intently. "Kiss me."