Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to min'?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne."

Song by Bobbie Burns, national poet of Scotland.

Auld lang syne literally means "old long ago" but might better be translated as "times gone by."

1993 was a sad, bad year. The tattered and torn fabric of my marriage to Barbara came apart like a sail in a hurricane. It wasn't the sex - that part was still great. It was the lack of love-the feeling of being one-half of a complete being, of belonging to each other. By Christmas, the marriage was in its death throes with only inertia and memories keeping us together. Fortunately, Beth, our elder daughter, spent Christmas with her new husband's family, and Ginny, our younger one, went skiing with her college gang.

Barbara and I planned to attend our dance club's annual New Year's Eve dance as we had for sixteen years. We liked to dance and socialize with our friends. At least, we still had that in common. That and the kids and our law profession, although we practiced at different firms.

Barbara was a stunning woman who appealed to me from the first time I saw her. Tall at five eight, her legs were long, even for her height, and muscular, and her ass high and hard, all maintained by hours of weight-training, running, and the Stairmaster, for she was a fitness addict. She was short-waisted and her breasts were perfect C-cups, thanks to an expensive plastic surgeon. Her hair, originally black and kept that way at the beauty salon, fell down her back when we met and now was worn in a shorter cut to frame her face but not reach her shoulders.

On New Year's Eve, as with many others before it, I finished dressing first and sat down in my chair in the bedroom to talk with her and watch her dress after her bath. This time, I was sadly bemused by the dichotomy tearing at me. I wanted her sexually and the inertia impeded a spilt, but a large part of me knew our marriage was headed for the divorce court. When she walked naked from the bathroom, her hard, appraising stare quickly changed to a cocked eyebrow and semi-smirk. She posed for me as she slipped on black thong panties to cover her hairless crotch. One day years ago, she'd announced she preferred her pubis to be bald and had worn it that way ever since.

Panties in place, she sat on the edge of the bed to put on her stockings. She didn't like pantyhose, although she sometimes wore them to work. She preferred a garter belt and hose, or thigh-high stockings that stayed in place. She lovingly rolled sheer black, thigh high stockings up her legs, almost caressing herself with her touch. She slipped on her open-toed pumps with the four-inch stiletto heels and fastened their straps around her ankles.

She stood, walked to the full-length mirror, and turned on tip-toes to see herself. I watched, too-watched her ass to be specific. I looked up to see her smiling at me in the mirror.

"Like what you see, Rick?" she asked in a sultry voice.

"I do. I always have."

"I like you, too," she replied. "You turn me on." She opened a dresser drawer, removed a garment, walked to me, and turned her back. As she turned, her hand brushed the fly of my trousers. "Please fasten this for me," she said.

"You're wearing a corset?" I asked.

"It makes my dress fit better."

The corset was black lace and fastened in back with hooks and eyelets. As I fastened it for her, her perfume wafted up to me and my fingertips tingled from the heat of her skin. She walked back to the mirror to admire herself. The effect of the corset was eye-catching. It lifted and emphasized her breasts, raising and rounding them, and narrowed her waist, not that either her breasts or her waist needed the enhancement. She stepped into her walk-in closet and returned wearing her evening gown, a strapless, tight, slinky number that fell to her ankles and had a slit up her right leg to allow her to dance.

"Zip me," she said as she turned her back to me again. I fumbled only a bit with the zipper. She then stepped away from me and slowly twirled. "How do I look?"

"Stunning."

She kissed me hungrily. "So do you. Ready to go?" she asked.

The dance club always held the party at the Hilton and many of us rented rooms for the night so we wouldn't have to drive home in an alcoholic haze. We arrived at nine. I checked into the hotel while Barbara went directly to the ballroom. When I entered the ballroom, I looked for her and saw her on the dance floor with Tim Hutchins. I stopped several times to visit with friends as I made my way to the bar.

Barbara and Tim left the dance floor and I joined them at the table we were sharing with them and two other couples, Larry and Patty Smith and Mike and Sally Johnson. Marla, Tim's wife, joined us. We passed small talk until the orchestra struck up another number. Larry asked Barbara to dance and I danced with Patty.

Barbara and I only danced together twice that evening. While I danced about half the time, Barbara never left the dance floor. She danced with many men, but most often with Tim. They looked like lovers. I danced with Patty and Sally, but I spent most of the time with Marla. Being with Marla wasn't a bad thing. She was pretty and sexy, with teasing eyes and a lush, feminine softness that contrasted nicely to Barbara's chiseled form. She danced close to me with her bountiful breasts on my chest and her crotch against mine.

I had only one drink that night, foregoing my usual multiple bourbon and water for just plain water and a few soft drinks. Being stone-cold sober and in a detached and analytical mood changed my perspective and my perceptions. As I watched the partially alcohol-induced merriment of the crowd of middle-aged couples, I could see those among them who were still in love, those who were not in love but satisfied with each other, and those like Barbara and me-hanging on to marriage for some reason or the other.

I was dancing with Marla about eleven thirty when I saw Barbara and Tim sneak off the dance floor and go toward the elevators.

"What's wrong?" Marla asked, raising her head to look at me.

"Barbara and Tim just left together," I said.

"Oh," she said and she snuggled closer against me.

"Doesn't that bother you?" I asked.

"No. Does it bother you?"

It bothered the hell out of me, but I didn't reply to her. A cold, dead feeling settled in me and I shivered.

"I thought you knew about them," Marla said.

"I didn't know," I said. That wasn't a lie. I thought Barbara was cheating on me, but I didn't know.

"They've been lovers since Labor Day," Marla said with no more emotion than if she were relating the weather report.

"And you don't care if Tim and Barbara have an affair?" I asked.

"Why would I?"

"He's your husband."

"Sex isn't love. He always comes home to me, and I always go home to him."

"You've had affairs?"

"I've had sex with other men, but I don't think of them as affairs." Her arms slid around my waist to hold me tightly against her. "I've never had the one guy I've always wanted. That's you, Rick. I want you to fuck me and I want it tonight," she said.

Rumors abound in any social circle. In ours, Tim and Marla were reputed to be wife-swappers, a rumor Marla just confirmed. The rumors included the Smiths and Johnsons in that group. That would explain why all three wives seemed to come on to me all night.

Since my wife was enjoying her husband, I saw no need to deprive myself of her. "I've wanted you, too," I replied.

Her giggle seemed phony. "I know," she replied. "I've felt your cock on my belly and seen the way you look at me."

"Let's go upstairs," I said.

"I'd love to," she replied.

She took my hand to lead me toward the elevators. As we slipped through the crowd, I watched the other couples. Most were lost in themselves and their mates. Some were dancing in a friendly way. A few watched us go, and, of those few, most were rumored to have open marriages. I wondered if tonight was planned by Barbara, Tim, and Marla, or by a larger group, and if my staged seduction was an introduction to a different lifestyle.

Marla was obviously aroused as she held tightly to my hand and pulled me into the elevator after her. The elevator doors closed with a clank that sounded like a jail-cell door.

"Do you want to go to your room or join them in our room?" Marla asked. She adroitly unzipped my tuxedo trousers and retrieved my cock, which immediately hardened as her fingers wrapped around it. "Barbara wasn't lying."

"About what?" I asked.

"She said you had a nice cock, and she said you knew how to use it." She stroked it back and forth and we kissed until the elevator doors opened. "So, which room?" she asked.

"Your room," I said.

Holding my cock with one hand, Marla guided me to the door to their room, which was five doors down from my own. She slipped the electronic key in the lock, whispered, "Be quiet," and stealthily opened the door.

Barbara and Tim were on the king-size bed. Naked except for her stockings and heels, she faced the headboard with her arms locked to brace her and her knees spread widely. Tim was between her legs, holding her hips with his cock in her ass. They looked like a scene from a porno flick and I wondered if they fell into that position naturally or had posed it for my benefit.

"God, I love you back there," she moaned.

"You love having me in any of your holes, don't you, slut?" Tim said.

"Any of them, anytime."

If the plan was to get my agreement to join the swap-club, it failed. The instant I saw Barbara and Tim together, any marital feeling I had for her was severed like a head under the guillotine. The emotion was so real I saw the blade drop and I jerked in response. Barbara's body and her wanton face and Tim's face and his cock going in her nether hole burned into my mind. I knew even then I would always be able to close my eyes and let that sight pop into view. What I didn't know was if an emotional emptiness would drain me again each time the memory returned.

"Aren't they beautiful together?" Marla whispered as she slipped my tux jacket over my shoulders, tossed it aside, and started undressing me.

"Harder, Tim. Ream me out because... I'm... so... close."

"Unzip me," Marla whispered and turned her back to me. I unzipped her little black cocktail dress, and unhooked her strapless bra.

Barbara emitted her hard laugh as she shook in orgasm. Marla shimmied and her dress and bra fell to the floor. I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of her pantyhose and tugged them down her legs as Tim climaxed and collapsed, flattening Barbara against the bed with his cock still in her.

"Come on," Marla said with a giggle. She dragged me to the bed where she lay down by my wife. "No foreplay. Just stick it in me."

I crawled between her legs and easily slid into her dripping pussy. Her hairy bush felt strange against me. Her breasts, larger than Barbara's and natural, felt strange against my chest. I was slowly fucking her when Barbara sighed and turned her head toward us to watch through her post-orgasmic haze. I, too, watched, and my mind recorded every nuance as I fucked the sloppy and well-used cunt of my friend's wife. I wondered how many men had been there before me, and how many men my wife had used for her pleasure. Tim rolled off Barbara to lie on her far side and stroked her ass absent-mindedly as he watched Marla and me.

Marla moaned and whimpered and fucked me back until a hard orgasm contorted her face and wracked her body, leaving her inert and gasping. "That was beautiful, baby," Tim said as he stroked her face.

I hadn't climaxed, but ejaculation didn't seem appropriate. When I pulled out of Marla and stepped off the bed, Tim took my place between his wife's legs. Barbara rolled on her back and her eyes questioned if I'd join her.

I crawled between Barbara's legs. She opened for me, took my cock in her hand, and guided it toward her cunt, but I stopped and her eyes searched my face.

"Did you enjoy Marla?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes. Did you enjoy Tim?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Marla told me you've been fucking him since Labor Day. That surprised me. I thought you were having an affair before that."

"Why didn't you say something?" she asked.

"I don't know. Maybe I was afraid of your answer."

"I love you, Rick. I want to spend my life with you, but I love sex, too. I have had affairs before Tim."

"How many men have you had?"

"Oh, I've lost track. How many women have you had?"

"None except you."

"Seriously?" she asked incredulously.

"Very seriously," I replied.

"I'm surprised. You're such a virile and sexy man, and you do love to fuck."

"I love fucking you and I have been faithful."

"I like fucking and fucking around. I was hoping you did, too." I didn't reply. "Tim and Marla are swingers. I want us to join their club. Please, Rick."

"I don't want that," I said.

"Why not? It's a lot of fun." When I didn't reply, she said, "Be honest. You've wanted to fuck Marla and now you have. Think of all the other women you'll get to have."

"I don't want that," I repeated more emphatically.

"I want it, and I want an open marriage. I want to fuck who I want when I want." She pulled my face down to hers and kissed me hotly. "I want to be your wife, Rick, but I won't be faithful."

"Then I want a divorce," I replied. "I'll draw and file the papers."

She looked crushed. "Please don't do that. We have a good life together." Her hands were busy stroking me. "Let's stay together and open the marriage. You enjoy sex so much and I know you'd enjoy the variety."

The situation was ludicrous-utterly farcical like a terrible made-for-TV movie. I felt like an idiot as I discussed with my wife either opening or dissolving our marriage while she held my cock and our lovers watched.

"Please, Rick," she pleaded.

"I can't do that. If you have to play around, we need to divorce."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Completely sure."

She bubbled with rage. "All right. Be that way. I don't want anything out of the marriage except cash."

"Cash it'll be."

"Get off me," she demanded, but I didn't. She raised her hands to push me away. I grabbed her wrists and we struggled until her wrists were pinned over her head with her legs held open and trapped by my forearms. My cock had found her cunt and wormed in to bury the crown.

"Get off me, you limp-dicked bastard," Barbara hissed.

Despite her comments, I saw the signs she wanted me to fuck her and she wanted it rough-a long, hard fucking that rips orgasms from her. I pushed and buried my cock in her. I pinched her tit, squeezing and twisting her nipple until it hurt.

"Leave her alone, Rick," Tim said in what he probably considered a dominating tone.

I turned my head to glare at him. "Touch me, Timmy boy, and I'll tear off your cock and shove it up your ass," I said.

He reddened, trembled, and looked away. Marla smirked happily and looked at me with big, needy eyes.

"Want me to call the police?" Tim tentatively asked Barbara.

"No, and stay out of it," she replied curtly. "Let him masturbate using me if he wants."

Barbara wanted to stay cool and not respond to me, but she couldn't. I knew her body and what turns her on. I knew what every little twitch, every minuscule movement of a facial muscle, meant. I knew how much she could take before she lost it.

"Tim called you a slut when he was fucking your ass. He was right. You're a slut, a worthless cunt good for nothing but fucking."

"Asshole. Fucking asshole," she said through gritted teeth, but her pussy ground against me.

"Nothing but an over-educated piece of white-trash pussy-meat."

I squeezed her nipple until she squirmed and said, "Let go of me." I released that nipple and seized the other.

"Have you been charging all the guys you fuck, slut?"

"You're the only bastard who gives me money. If you were good in bed, I'd fuck you for free like I do the others."

"You should have been charging them. You could buy yourself a trailer."

"I've had enough of you. When's your pathetic cock going soft, faggot?" she said.

"When your big, sloppy, adulterous pussy can't take any more, slut!"

I slapped the exposed side of her ass and thigh hard. She cursed me but her pussy grabbed my cock. I fucked her with deep and demanding strokes, and slapped her ass intermittently. Each slap brought forth a groan and stimulated her further. She shook her head to fight the passion rising in her, but it was a lost cause. She knew I had her now, knew she would cum despite herself. I slapped her ass harder.

"Say you're a slut," I demanded as I stopped with only the head of my cock in her.

Her face was needy, her eyes soft and wet in lust. "I'm a slut. A horny, whorish, cock-loving slut," she moaned. Her legs held me tightly in her. "Oh, Rick, you're fucking me so good!"

When she came, she screeched and thrashed the bed. I've always enjoyed Barbara's orgasms with their unrestrained bursts of passion, but I didn't even break rhythm. I fucked her to another orgasm and then a third before her expression said she'd had enough. I pulled out, jacked my cock twice, and came on her face and hair.

"God, that was something," Marla whispered reverently as she sat cross legged and playing with herself. Tim, kneeling on the bed, looked awed and a little frightened.

I stood up and dressed. Barbara squirmed up the bed, propped the pillows behind her, and lit a cigarette. Tim's cum oozed out of her ass as mine slid down her cheeks. As I walked toward the door, she called my name. I stopped and looked at her.

She exhaled and said, "We're all going to the Johnsons for a swing party. Why don't you join us?"

"No, thanks," I replied.

A tear rolled down her cheek. "I love you, Rick."

I shook my head disgustedly, opened the door, and slammed it behind me when I left. I took the elevators down to the main floor and went to the ballroom. It was forty-five minutes into the New Year. The hotel staff was beginning to remove the clutter, sweeping away the confetti and hauling off the garbage carts full of empty liquor bottles. I exited the door into the lobby to find it empty and quiet. I retrieved my overcoat from the coat-check, and went out the front door to the automobile valet where several couples were waiting for their cars.

The blast of January's frigid air and the realization I was a single man hit me at once. I never felt so cold and alone.

I went home, but I didn't sleep. I was at the office at five that morning. The divorce papers were complete New Year's Day and would be filed when the courthouse opened on the second. No point in making it more difficult. The divorce papers stated "mutual agreement" was the reason for our split. It provided our assets would be evaluated and she would get half that value in cash and her law partnership interest. No alimony or child support for either of us. We agreed to split the kids' college costs. And that was that. Twenty-three years of marriage shot to hell.

I spent New Year's night in a hotel. I had to get away from Barbara, who had called me all day. The sterile, commercial hotel room magnified my despondency. When I got home about nine in the morning the day after New Year's, Barbara had left for work. I found a long note pleading with me to stay with her.