Part 6: St. Friday and the Dragon

The afternoon was warm and humid; the background hum of bees and other flying insects lent the day an indolent air. A silver-clad figure rode easily on a chestnut mare of impressive height. As the figure approaches it becomes apparent, from the fact that the helmet to the armour is clipped to the saddle horn, that she is an attractive woman. It is also apparent; as she gets closer that she is not a happy bunny!

"Would you like to tell me why, exactly, I'm sitting on this horse, dressed in this ridiculous tin suit?" She rapped sharply on the magnificently endowed breastplate; a hollow ringing emanated from it as a result of this action. "Which reminds me, why am I 'advertising' like this? And while we're on the subject of armour, have you tried to take a leak in one of these things?"

Further questioning was cut short as Friday belatedly realised that her squire was no longer with her. Turning in her saddle she looked back along the track. Just as she was considering turning back to look for the errant squire, she appeared, cantering out of a small copse.

"Sorry to interrupt your tirade, but I just had to answer that 'call of nature'."

"Of course it's so easy for you; I, on the other hand, have to schedule things like that a day in advance!" Grumped Friday.

"So how far had you got?"

"The advertising and the bathroom arrangements!"

Cat grinned.

"Stop smiling, it'll be your turn to wear this metal monstrosity next."

"Oooo nice alliteration."

Friday stuck out her tongue at her 'squire'. "So what's the plan, now that Frank and Nick have him all riled up?"

"Don't ask me, you're the author of 'The Care and Feeding of Dragons' deary."

"Am I ever going to live that one down? I mean, I post one lousy article and now I'm forever cast as the resident Dragon expert! Here I am, dressed up in this ridiculous tin suit..." Words failed her at this point.

Cat grinned again. "Oh come on it's not all that bad."

Friday roused herself to fresh irritation. "No. Some of it's worse!" She drew her sword. "You know what the worst part is?"

"No. But I just know you're going to tell me."

"The very worst part is this terrible pun of a sword." So saying she swung the sword in a series of impressive cuts, as she did so, Cat and Friday could clearly hear, in place of the expected swoosh as the blade cut through the air, 'Snicker Snack Snicker Snack Snicker Snack.'

Cat giggled.

"Oh don't laugh, it only encourages him; the next thing you know we'll be deluged in peanut filled chocolate bars!"

"I am feeling a bit peckish."

Friday waved her sword threateningly at Cat. "If you keep it up I may feel the urge to try out this 'Vorpal Sword' for real."

"Okay. Okay, I'll behave."

Friday sheathed the sword and the subliminal chant of 'Snicker Snack' was silenced. The two women heaved a sigh of relief as the chanting was cut off. "Next time I really will have to think twice before posting." muttered Friday under her breath.

By now the two horses had carried the two female folk heroines almost to the village that was their destination. It seemed a prosperous sort of place. An impressive sign stood outside the village boundary, it said. "Welcome to FDWritings population 253. Please Post Carefully." As the two read the sign the 3 was magically transformed into a 4.

"Seems a popular place." Snickered Cat suggestively.

"Enough with the puns already!" Friday was obviously not speaking to her, so Cat ignored this outburst.

As they approached the entrance to the Village a small welcoming committee had formed. At the centre of it was an older man, who exuded a quiet authority. "Welcome to our humble village Sir..." He paused, but recovered himself quickly. "Lady Knights. I'm grateful that the foremost Dragon tamer in all the land would deign to answer our call for assistance so promptly. Please enter." He looked shrewdly at Friday. "It's a long journey and you must be tired. We have a guesthouse that you can use. There will be no charge of course."

"Thank you. You won't believe how uncomfortable this stuff gets after a while." Friday shrugged her shoulders to indicate the suit of armour that she was wearing.

With practised ease Friday dismounted, somewhat noisily, from her horse. [Don't blame me; it's all that armour you're wearing! "And whose fault is that?" Okay, Okay just be patient you won't be wearing it for much longer. "Oh goody! No doubt it'll be exchanged for something impractical and revealing?" Would I do that to you? "Yes! Oh well anything, no scrub that; almost anything is better than this metal stuff."]

While Friday was mentally chastising the fates over her fate here, Cat had also dismounted and taken charge of both horses. The Village blacksmith had appeared and offered to stable their mounts. Cat had agreed and took the opportunity to flirt with the craggily handsome man*, who appeared to be wearing a leather apron and not much else.

(*I'll be taking bribes later from anyone who wants to appear in later stories as the Blacksmith!)

The deputation and the two visitors made their way to the guesthouse and the villagers wished the pair a good evening. Friday and Cat had declined an invitation to a feast in their honour as they said they would need to rest before meeting the Dragon tomorrow. ["That's not fair! Why do I never get to 'eat, drink and be merry' in these stories?" You need the sleep that's why. Look there's only one bed, I'm sure you and Cat can find something to do to amuse yourselves for a while. She did pack the runny honey. "!"]

Not wishing to annoy his heroines too much the author did not chronicle the exploits within the room that night. So we rejoin the action reasonably early the next morning. Friday was looking at the clothes that Cat had put out for her to wear.

"You're as bad as 'he' is! I refuse to wear such an awful dress."

"It's not awful, look I'm wearing the same thing myself."

"I know it's the two of us wearing the same dress that is awful."

Cat bristled. "Why?"

"You're a Knight too right?"

"Yes." Said Cat wondering where this was going.

"These dresses are white right?"

"Yes." Answered Cat slowly, beginning to doubt Friday's sanity.