Chapter 1

The first time I saw her, she was tiny, red, wet and noisy. I couldn't see what my mom was making such a big fuss about. Seemed like a lot of commotion from such a little thing.

Of course, I was only three.

My cousin Audry was a constant in my life. Her parents lived in a house Uncle Rick built on the other side of grandpa's ranch from our place. Dad and Uncle Rick both worked in the family business, raising and training horses for show jumping, and Black Angus cattle for breeding stock.

By the time I was four, and able to sit my pony by myself, I was usually assigned the 'job' of making sure Audry didn't get underfoot and hurt by one of the animals our dads were training or working with. I often did that by taking her in front of me on my little saddle. She loved the view from horseback as much as I did.

Mom was a world-class equestrienne, with an Olympic bronze, from games before she married dad. She still looks real elegant in a saddle. So does dad, though he never achieved mom's fame in 'horsy' circles.

While we lived in an area of Oregon that really was part of the "Old West", I grew up spending more time on an English saddle than on the comfortable western rig of the cowboys... Though I threw on the western saddle whenever I could get away with it.

Grandpa died suddenly when I was five.

Grandma Hazel stayed in the big house. She was one really cool lady-and didn't look like a 'grandma'. She looked more like a foxy chick with laugh lines. The thing I liked best about grandma was that she always had time for me. And she always treated me like an important person. I could talk to her about anything and get a straight answer-even when she was fighting hard to keep from laughing at some naïve kid's question. Grandma looked as elegant on a horse as mom, too.

Uncle Rick married a beautiful lady, Aunt Elin, who has the sweetest spirit of any woman I've ever known, with the possible exception of Audry. Elin was a 'hippy'-a 'flower child' of the 60s. She wore her blonde hair long, occasionally putting it in a French braid, to keep it out of the way-but usually it flowed down her back naturally. And she never wore a bra! Not even to church, which scandalized mom.

Even so, mom and everybody else loved Elin. She was just a nice lady-and always a lady, in spite of her free-spirited ways.

Audry, from the time she took her first steps, looked like a tiny blonde elf. Her heart-shaped face was narrow, with faint smudges under her large, slightly slanted, gray eyes. Her ears even seemed to have dainty points, when they appeared through her straw-colored hair.

Inheriting her mother's spirit, Audry was a remarkably mellow kid, and fun to have around.

You'd think that a boy would be disgusted, having to spend his time looking after a younger cousin-a girl at that. It was never that way. Dad and Uncle Rick raised me to be all boy, all right. But our ranch was in the eastern foothills of the Cascade Mountains, thirty miles of bad gravel road out of Sisters, Oregon. (When we went to 'town', it wasn't that much of a town!) With no brothers or sisters-an older sister had miscarried, and after me, mom couldn't have any more-the only other kid around was Audry. Dad had the sensitivity to a very young boy's male ego to make her my responsibility. I took that seriously.

Audry didn't take anything seriously. She was mellow, and easy to look after. But she loved fun. She could make fun and excitement from anything.

As soon as she started walking, she started riding; first on a gentle pony, then on a mare too old for her mother to ride. Before I knew it, she was challenging my riding skills in daredevil races across the ranch, or in the finer points of dressage.

We grew up with show jumping and dressage-but I lived for the days I could ride with Uncle Rick in a western saddle and work the cattle, hard work though it is for a boy.

The division of labor was that dad and mom supervised the horse business, while Uncle Rick ran the cattle. Everybody did whatever needed to be done and we all had plenty to do, without worrying about 'whose job' it was. Uncle Rick was an excellent horseman, who preferred working with the Angus breeding stock.

We didn't raise cattle for beef, like our neighbors. If a calf didn't work out as a breeding animal, we'd raise him to slaughtering size. That helped us document the results of our breeding program. Most of the cattle, though, went to ranches that were raising Angus for beef, to improve their herds. Our reputation was such that each of our animals was a very valuable item. We shipped them, literally, all over the world.

Mom had a big part of the work, training horses for jumping and sometimes working with a rider who had aspirations on the national or international level. She'd give lessons-and help match the rider to a horse that suited him.

Aunt Elin kept house and taught school. Until I was eleven and Audry eight, we were 'home schooled'. Not because our parents were unhappy with the public schools, but because the nearest school was thirty miles away, by narrow gravel road. Then a new 'highway' was built, and the time and distance was enough shorter that a school bus stop only two miles from the ranch allowed us to attend the 'local' school.

Grandma was too involved in her own interests, to worry about the ranch much; though she was never too busy for Audry or me. She traveled a lot. Sometimes on ranch business-often on personal business, when she visited one of her many male friends.

At our new school, there must have been a couple hundred kids, in grades one through eight. Not that big, but intimidating to a couple of home-schooled ranch kids. Audry and I clung to each other, emotionally.

I was later told that, about that time, Audry announced to grandma that, when we grew up, she was going to marry me. The adults thought that was just too cute for words.

All I can say is, as we grew, we also grew close. We were pals and best buddies, sharing everything. We went skinny-dipping in an isolated irrigation pond and trapped crawdads in the creek. We rode together all over the ranch and in summer, high up into the mountains. We worked beside our parents more and more, as we grew into the work, both on the horses and with the cattle.

Audry and I were perennial winners of both dressage and jumping competitions at the state fair and the occasional weekend horse show. We were also pretty proud of the prizes our own Angus cattle won. Without exaggeration, I can say that I was as happy about the awards Audry won as she was-and she, about mine.

Along about my twelfth year, puberty started. Audry and I had no secrets from each other and had seen all there was to see of the other countless times. But suddenly it seemed that I was looking at her a new way. I got really confused and so did she, because I started acting different around her.

Grandma Hazel was a lifesaver. (Mom and dad were there and included me in everything, especially the talk around the dinner table. It was just that I could talk to grandma... ) She gently drew out what was bothering me, and gave me the best advice she could. She also reassured me that what I was feeling was entirely normal, and that I shouldn't feel guilty about the emotions and ideas racing through my mind and body.

When I told her, "But, grandma, I'm thinking those things about Audry," her calm response was, "Of course you are. Who else is there, for you?"

Maturing earlier, as girls do, Audry was looking more 'feminine' daily, to my hormone-enhanced vision.

Desperate, I asked grandma for advice.

"Have you talked to Audry about this?"

"No!"

"Why not, Rob?"

"She'd think I'm a pervert or something."

"Well, I think you need to-and right away. I'll bet she's wondering why her best friend is avoiding her."

It was good advice and I knew it. It took me awhile to work up the nerve to open the subject with Audry, though. And then more time to find the right time to do it.

On a ride up into the national forest land bordering the ranch-we'd stay out a couple of nights, and move any cows we found back towards the ranch (Western saddle! I loved those trips!)-I finally got up the nerve to talk.

I talked a lot more than I intended to. It seemed that, once I started, I couldn't stop. I didn't know, then, that Audry is extraordinary when it comes to drawing people out. All of that was focused on me and I didn't have a clue it was happening. She had, naturally, noticed that I'd acted kind of withdrawn. It bothered her, but she knew that she could fix it eventually. When I finally ran out of drivel and got to what I really wanted to talk about, it was awful. I couldn't stop talking, but I couldn't say what I HAD to say.

"Audry, you know that we're really good friends?" She nodded, and steered her horse around a fallen log. "Well, lately, I've been thinking about it..." I waited for her to respond, but she just kept riding.

"What I mean is, I'm starting to think about you... and me... and maybe about things we could do together. I mean... Aw! Audry, help me out here!" I cried to her tiny, elegant form, on the horse ahead of mine.

In a moment we came to a wider spot. She nudged her horse to the side and waited until she could look at my face.

"Rob, I've been thinking those thoughts about you. I've been having the same conversations with grandma you have. And don't think she's been saying things she shouldn't. She just shared some 'girl-talk' with me. Momma thinks you're 'delicious', and asked me how I'm doing, growing up with you around all the time."

I was dumbfounded. She could see that, and quietly started her horse on up the trail.

I just sat there, my mouth open, attracting flies and everything. Then I booted my horse into a trot, to catch up.

Shortly, we topped out on a ridge and paused to give the horses a chance to blow, while we admired the view out over the ranch.

"Does that mean that you want to learn about kissing... and things... with me?" I asked. Real cool... NOT!

Audry gave me her 1,000-watt elfin grin. "That means I want to learn about kissing and everything with you!"

"Wow!" was all I could say... and that almost as a prayer. I reached over and took her hand, giving a squeeze. That was all we could do on horseback, on the narrow trail.

That afternoon we came to a high meadow. We were about 5,000 feet up, and didn't really want to get much higher. The park we found had a spring of clear water flowing into a fairly large rock basin, before the water escaped into a small stream that wandered across the meadow and down the mountain.

We staked out the horses and set up our camp. It wasn't elaborate-we'd only be there overnight. I cleared a space for a fire and gathered firewood while Audry laid out the ingredients for dinner. When the fire was going, I set out our bedrolls by our saddles, and checked the horses.

Dinner was simple-steaks roasted on an open fire, with potatoes baked in the coals. When we'd cleaned up, we sat on our bedrolls, leaning against a log, looking at the fire and the stars... talking some. Just like we had countless times before.

Then Audry moved over against me and pulled my arm around her.

Smiling at me, she said, "This is better. Don't you think?"

I smiled and nodded. She felt pretty good to me. But then, I'd never had an arm around a girl before.

Next thing I knew-I really don't know how it happened-her hand was behind my neck, and I was kissing her.

Now, I knew as much about kissing as I did about integral calculus. Mostly, I just mashed my lips against hers. She taught me, though. (Aunt Elin just assumed that a daughter of hers needed to be taught about pleasing men-and herself-and included those lessons in the home schooling that didn't stop for Audry when we started attending public school.)

Audry's face backed up-an inch or two-and she whispered, "Relax. Open your mouth. Taste me."

I tried to do what she said. It was too much. My first ejaculation ever was in my jeans, kissing Audry.

She wasn't experienced, either, and wasn't aware of what had happened to me. Embarrassed, I wasn't about to tell her. She was already light years ahead of me.

After moaning at the feeling of my hands running over her back and sides, Audry firmly placed one of my paws on her breast. When I reflexively started to knead it, she breathed into my mouth, "That's nice. I like that." Her hand started stroking my chest, too, feeling the muscle I'd developed doing the work of the ranch. It wasn't much, since I was barely into adolescence.

While we'd been doing this, twilight had come. When I noticed, I got up to check the horses-our parents had trained us well-and make sure the fire wouldn't spread. Meanwhile, Audry spread out our bedrolls.

Except that we ended up with one bed.

"What's this?" I demanded, when I returned from my chores.

"We're so high, we'll be lots warmer if we just pile the blankets on top, and share one bed," she said, innocently. (Yeah. Right. But she's a good actress, when she wants... and always could play me like a fiddle.)

So, sitting each on 'our' side of the bedding, we removed boots, jeans, and the flannel shirts we normally wore in the high country, and slid under the blankets. (I say, 'blankets'. We each carried a blanket, a large sheet, a down comforter, and a plastic tarp, when we went camping up high. That kept the weight low and provided a lot of warmth.)

As I was settling myself for sleep, Audry snuggled up against me. When my arm went around her, I discovered that she'd lost her panties along the way. I discovered this when-entirely by accident-I felt the sparse fuzz between her legs. In fact, she was completely naked, and my other hand was filled with a delectable handful of budding girl-breast.

"Ooooh! That's nice, Rob!" she breathed, wriggling her butt against my rapidly hardening cock.

In a couple of moments, she felt the intruder and, reaching between her legs, groped my shorts until she found the opening, and pulled him out. As a boy, I was only somewhere between four and five inches, but Audry seemed excited, not disappointed. She caressed it a bit, then tried to jam it in her.

It didn't work.

She didn't realize that the position and technique just weren't very good for two virgins.

It sure wasn't experience, so I'll have to plead instinct: I wrapped both arms around her, and immobilized her hands.

"Audry, let's try something else," I said, as I started kissing her ears, and neck-and then her eyes and mouth, as she rotated to face me.

I kicked off my shorts and Audry helped me off with my t-shirt. Then it was heavenly-my bare skin against hers. Her breasts were still small. (Unlike the generous globes they are today.) But they left trails of fire in my nerve endings as her nipples traced a sensuous path across my chest, while she crawled on top of me.

Then, while I was concentrating on giving her a kiss she'd never forget, she dropped herself on my hard little cock.

Almost before she hit bottom she was bouncing back up and yelping in pain.

But I kissed her and gently pulled her to me. Then we lay there, mated, for a long time. It may have been a minute. It may have been ten minutes. It may even have been an hour. Neither of us has any idea how long that time was. Audry lay atop me, gently encasing me, while we kissed and stroked each other, and whispered how much we loved, and how good the other made us feel.

I was in heaven. I discovered that night that I loved Audry. Oh, sure, she was family. The only sister I'd have. My best friend and my pal. But this was different. I loved her-to the extent that I would, gladly, do anything to make her happy.

That night, we explored each other's bodies and minds. She started involuntary contractions around my intruding member. I remember thinking, 'This is really neat!' and then surprising us both by coming in her.

We discovered oral sex by giving innocent kisses to the parts of the other that had given us so much pleasure-and finding that the kisses gave their own form of pleasure. By the time the sun rose-much too early-we had fallen in love.

That day, we did spend about four hours in the saddle, looking for cows, but really looking at each other.

Our night was spent at the same enchanted meadow.

This time, we were able to make love properly... if you can call completely ignorant children's matings proper. After we ate and checked the horses, I stuck my cock into Audry's hot, impatient, hole and pushed up and down until I came in her. Her pleasure wasn't ignored, as the deep scratches from her fingernails in my back would attest. We were both on the hair-trigger of the barely adolescent and neither of us knew any better.

The angel who saved us from destruction was Grandma Hazel. She deduced what had happened almost immediately... she had expected this for years.

Remarkably free from 'hang-ups', grandma thought it was perfectly logical that Audry and I would love each other. She hoped we'd 'make it' together and give her some great-grandchildren in the not too distant future. Of course, she knew that Uncle Rick would be horrified and that Aunt Elin, though not unhappy about such an event, would be happier if we were four or five years older. But grandma felt that our parents had forced us together, and it was only natural that we would love each other. So what was the big deal?

Cool lady, grandma.

I don't know if she saw us holding hands, or Audry giving me a kiss, but grandma soon had a 'talk' with the two of us.

We were embarrassed and scandalized when she flatly told us she knew we'd had sex with each other.

Our anxiety decreased when she told us she thought it was not only natural, but she thought it was good.

But then she really hurt our feelings when she told us that we would have to hide our love-no holding hands. We'd done that since we were tiny! No kissing. We hadn't done that much. But, lately, that was all we wanted to do-unless we could get into bed together.

And no fucking! WHAT??!! UNTIL we (she) got Audry protected.

It hadn't even occurred to us that Audry had had periods for a year, and that we could get her pregnant.

When that sunk in, we agreed with grandma. She'd take care of us, and we'd do what she said.

Grandma took an eager Audry with her to Bend for a 'shopping trip.' Along the way, they visited grandma's gynecologist, who gave Audry a complete checkup and a 'three-month' shot. The doctor was a lover of grandma's, who went along with her requirement for secrecy. He agreed with her that pills would be too hard to hide from Aunt Elin.

They brought home a two-week supply of condoms, too. Grandma agreed that there was no reason for Audry to 'do without' while she waited for the shot to take effect.

Grandma slowly and quietly made her big house a home for Audry and me. She'd invite us over to 'keep her company'. My parents usually didn't know that Audry was there, too-nor Audry's that I was usually there when Audry stayed over.

They certainly didn't know that Audry and I shared a bedroom when we stayed overnight with grandma.

The next couple of years went by pretty smoothly, looking back on them. Audry and I were not getting all the sex we'd like, but were 'getting together' on a regular basis, thanks to grandma.

We learned what the other liked and how to turn each other on. Of course, with adolescents, that isn't hard. [Pardon the pun.]

Grandma had occasional chats with one or the other of us-and made suggestions from her much more sophisticated sexual experience, which we would promptly try on the other.

Although I didn't know it, by the time I was 16, and Audry entered high school, we were both pretty sophisticated lovers, with the knowledge and experience to please almost any partner.

Audry hit our little high school like a box of dynamite. She had just turned 14, and was built like a solid brick outdoor convenience. The blonde hair and expressive gray eyes, in that elfin face, just made her irresistible.

Overnight, I became the cousin on the other side of the ranch.

Meanwhile, she was dating the captain of the football team, or the president of the student body, or some other older boy, who drove to the ranch to see her, and take her out.

Not having a car, I hadn't been able to date-and didn't care, when I loved the girl I had at home. Audry's sudden defection destroyed me.

Grandma tried to help. She told me, over and over, that Audry would be back.