Chapter 8: Healing Love

For a few years, our lives proceeded in a peaceful, contented way.

Much of our income was reinvested into long-term situations we felt held promise. We set up college accounts for the kids. We lived comfortably on what I made from the 49ers and our stipends from the USOC and IOC.

And, if one of the kids was participating, we attended all the sporting events or school presentations we could.

About that time, the kids hit puberty-simultaneously.

The sixteen-year-old Jason shot up two inches a month, it seemed. Twelve-year-old Moira, did, too. They were both larger than most of their classmates before, so their growth made them tower over their peers. Moira was aware of it, as she heard her friends speaking from her chest, rather than from her chin level.

Over dinner, after Hanna had brought it to my attention (Of course kids that age shoot up! I didn't think it was a big deal. Hanna wanted me to reassure them that it was all natural.), I had a chat with them.

"You two are really growing fast right now. I suspect you're aware of it?" They both grinned. Of course they were. "Do you know that what you are experiencing is completely normal? Natural?"

They looked a bit uncertain. "Dad?" Jason began.

"Yes?"

"Dad, should it hurt?"

"What hurts, son?"

"Well, different things. My legs. My arms. Sometimes my back... ?"

"An ache sometimes is normal. Sometimes bone grows faster than muscle, or something. If it hurts bad, tell one of us and we'll have you checked out. It's probably OK, but we don't want to take any chances."

Both nodded at that.

"How big will we get?" Moira asked.

"That's hard to tell. Your mother and I are both large people, so you are likely to be our size-maybe a bit bigger or smaller, but similar."

They seemed to digest that. Then Moira asked, "How about the urges I'm getting?"

"What urges are you getting?" I asked, suspecting what was coming.

"Sex urges, daddy. Sometimes I want to have sex with someone so bad it's painful. I start to dream about what it would be like with Jason-or with you. I know mommy likes it a lot, 'cause I hear you... she's not very quiet about it." We all grinned about that. Hanna was pretty vocal when we made love.

"Honey, those urges are normal. In primitive societies, you'd be getting married about now and those urges would make sure you made babies for the tribe. Unfortunately, we are more 'civilized' and giving in to those urges could cause tremendous problems for us all."

She looked disappointed at my answer.

"You'll survive. And your mom will show you some things you can do to relieve the tension. But I'm sorry to have to tell you that it would be a very bad thing for Jason or me to have sex with you."

"Dad?" Jason asked. "I've had the same problem for a while. And Moira is a pretty foxy chick, if you haven't noticed. Why can't she and I take care of each other? Why should we have to suffer, when we have a willing partner, who we love and respect, ready and able to take care of those needs?"

"Several reasons, son. But the most important is that it is against the law-in a serious way. The social services people would break up the family, if anyone found out. I could go to jail and you could, too. At the very least, you would both be removed from our home and put into foster homes far away from us and from each other.

"Another, even trickier issue is this:

"Suppose you and Moira fall in love-not the love you have for each other as brother and sister, but as man and woman. You can't marry, legally. And having babies would be dangerous. We don't think Moira's blindness is hereditary-but we just don't know. It would be criminally stupid to take a chance, by the two of you breeding.

"A related issue is that it would be hard for you to conceal an affair. Both of you are so young and you're both so open, it's hard for you to lie or keep secrets. Beyond that, a person's first sex partner is always special. If you two had sex, you'd always have that between you. If you fell in love, besides-something very likely, given who and what you two are-you'd tip off all your friends and most of your teachers fairly quickly. Then all the problems from the legal system would fall on the family like a ton of bricks."

Hanna had stayed on the sidelines through all this. Now she spoke. "I think it's commendable that you two are taking such a practical approach to this. Believe me, I know all about the problems you're having." A huge grin split her face. "I remember the incredible letch I had for your dad for almost three years before we finally got together. Once we did, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that we were together-carnally, as well as being best friends. I couldn't hide it. I don't think either of you could, either."

She turned serious. "And, in spite of all our precautions, Jason came along a long time before we were ready for him... Not that there's anything wrong with you, son. It's just that we were too young, and it would have been much easier for all of us if we could have waited." She smiled with love at our son. "I wouldn't change a single hair on your head, if I could change anything about you."

Hanna had a private chat with Moira and I with Jason, to make sure they knew how to get off by themselves. We strongly suggested that this was a private activity.

We constantly affirmed them and made them certain of our love and support.

Over the next several months, both kids continued their growth spurts. Soon Moira was six feet tall and Jason a couple of inches taller... and neither was done growing. But the extreme growth seemed to taper off as fast as it started.

Then they both began to fill out, to 'grow into' the height they'd gained. Moira, especially, was a tall beanpole one minute, then a tall, curvy young lady the next. She'd always been beautiful, now she grew sexy, too.

Jason had inherited our love of sports-Moira too, but she couldn't play team sports, given her blindness. When Jason reached high school, he was a three-sport man: Football, basketball, and baseball. His football coaches wanted to make him an interior lineman, since he was so much bigger than most of his teammates and opponents. But his speed and determination to follow in my footsteps caused them to put him at end, where he could run some pass patterns.

If anything, he was better than I was at that age. He loved the contact-running right through a defensive back made his whole week! Besides size, he had quickness and agility-and could easily throw the football 60 yards. With a windup, he could throw it eighty yards.

By the time he was a junior in high school, Jason found himself the biggest high school quarterback in northern California. That he could-and did-run with the ball with more speed and power than most running backs, made him more feared.

One afternoon, while Hanna and I were working out on the Stanford campus, I found myself sitting beside the football coach as I wiped my face with a towel.

"I know you're a Duck, through and through, and all that. But Jason hasn't developed those bad habits yet. Do you think he'd consider coming here?"

"I'm sure he would," I said, grinning at the 'Duck' crack. Oregon had done well by me. But an education at Stanford was a whole different thing. "There are some considerations, though. He and Moira are extraordinarily close. They're 'best buddies' as well as taking care of each other. He's been her eyes since her birth, literally. So, even though he dates-and I'm sure tries to get laid as much as any high school kid does, he will insist on 'being there' for his sister."

"That's no problem. He should live in the dorm his freshman year, but after that, he can live anywhere. Your home is close enough that he could commute... Anyway, we have another year before we need to worry about those things. I wanted to see if you thought he'd be interested in us, or if you'd already locked him up for Oregon."

I chuckled. "Nope. Take your best shot, coach. Good luck... I'd like him to stay close enough that I can get to the games."

Moira decided that she could be a sprinter. She was certainly faster than her classmates. I spoke with a friend in a high-tech company just down the road from us. We developed a very lightweight headset for Moira. A coach-usually Hanna or me-could stand beyond the finish line and tell her when she was straying to the edge of her lane while she ran. Soon she was eating up the high school competition. We couldn't figure out a way to solve the curve in the 220, though. We tried several 'coaches', with limited success. She had the speed, we just had to figure out how to keep her in her lane. (Later the device was modified to a system of tones, keyed to wires laid in the track under the lane markers.)

-- + + + + + --

Jason signed a letter of intent to play football for Stanford. He didn't feel he had the time or ability to play varsity basketball at that level, but did get a commitment that he'd be allowed to play baseball in the spring, rather than spring football-if he made the team.

Two months before Jason's high school graduation, one of the researchers at the Stanford Medical Center had a breakthrough. He'd been able to pinpoint with remarkable accuracy the areas of the brain related to vision. And he was able to measure Moira's visual activity in a completely non-invasive way. He found that her eyes were perfectly healthy-we knew that. But he determined that her optic nerves were completely normal too. For some reason, her brain wasn't processing the signals properly. It was receiving them and processing them. But the result was wasted... and not 'seen' as visual images.

Now, he thought he had an answer to everyone's question: Why?

His answer got so technical, so fast, my eyes glassed over immediately. But the bottom line was that he'd developed a drug he wanted to try on her. We got several other opinions that the drug he wanted to use would not cause any harmful side effects-it was basically a matter of changing very slightly the balance of compounds existing in her brain.

The test was scheduled for late in July.

Jason and Moira had, if anything, grown closer. Hanna and I thought they honored our desire that they not have sex with each other-Hanna had even provided Moira her own vibrator! Their social life, besides Jason's dates with high school classmates, was each other. They were constantly together. Jason had learned to lead Moira by the hand through subtle signals-they looked like a young couple holding hands as they walked. He would describe what he saw as they walked, so she had a constant commentary on the scene before them. If they were discussing something else as they walked along, he'd still interject comments about what he saw... It was very interesting to listen to.

With others, Moira had to resort more to typical techniques of the blind, grasping an elbow to follow, or using a long cane to feel the terrain before her for obstacles.

She preferred her brother. With him, she could be more like other kids. And there was no one she loved as much... She had a huge crush on him, too.

Knowing he'd have to live in a dorm during the next school year-and understanding that it was irrational-she quietly worked herself into a panic. For a whole year, her brother would not be home at night, would not be available to chat with her about the day, or take her to the mall on Saturday. Or quietly lend her his strength and confidence, with his love.

-- + + + --

As soon as Jason graduated from high school and the kids were out of school for the summer, we took an extended vacation. We visited our parents and spent a happy week with them. Then we rambled around western Oregon. I wanted a home up there. We needed to shelter more income and a second home was a good way to do it.

It was a bit boring for Moira, who couldn't see the marvelous scenery we passed through. Though she said she was OK... Jason described everything to her.

We first looked at property on the beach. Nice, but a long drive-and very wet. Then we took a trip up the Gorge. I'd have happily bought a place near Biggs, but Hanna, though she loved the scenery, thought it was also too far out-and too hot!

Up the Deschutes to Bend... and then up the hill to Sisters... we still couldn't agree.

Back then, to the Valley. Neither of us wanted the exploding cities of Eugene or Salem. We wanted something rural, with acreage.

Finally we found a realtor who understood what we wanted and found it for us. I bought a 200-acre 'farm'. Really, it had never grown a crop and was zoned for forestry. From our standpoint, it had three things going for it. A decent road ran along one edge. It had a good artesian spring that provided excellent soft water, even in the driest weather. And it included a hilltop that was higher than anything nearby.

From that hilltop, we had marvelous views of the coast range and across the valley to the Cascades, including, on a clear day, Mt. Hood, Mt. Jefferson, and the Three Sisters. There we would build our home, and there we would live part of each year.

While we were looking, I'd taken a suite in a new hotel in Salem. For several days, while we looked again and again at the property we decided to buy, and finalized the transaction, the kids stayed in Salem. They preferred to visit the malls and look around the capitol.

One morning, Jason went to collect Moira for a visit to the 'Old Mill'. He found her half dressed, curled up and shaking with sobs.

Holding her shoulders, he asked gently, "What's wrong, sis?"

Moira just wailed.

"Come on, Moira. I can't help if you don't talk to me."

"Oh, Jason, I'm sorry... It's just... you're going... away... to school... I'll... be all... alone..." and she wailed again, in agony.

"I'm not going that far. I'll be home most weekends, you know. And you can come with me to the games next year. I promise, I'll sit with you and describe everything."

"But you won't be there in the evenings to help me with homework, or tell me about your day... Oh, Jason, I don't know what to doooo."

Still slender, Moira at fifteen was a fully developed, curvy woman, an inch over six feet.

Jason, by this point, was holding his sister in his arms, trying to comfort her and allay her fears.

Neither of them knew when their caresses turned from comforting to arousing. Neither of them knew when his little kisses of concern and care met her lips and became demanding. Neither was aware of their clothing melting away from bodies that needed the feel of the other against it-unfettered skin against skin, without any barrier.

Their hands, their mouths, their whole beings became voracious. They required the other.

In moments, they were joined. And as Jason's rigid member entered Moira's welcoming, tight tunnel for the first time, their spirits joined also. The movement, the friction, the wetness and the arousal were incredible-but irrelevant.