Chapter 18

Gary had parked the car in the lot towards the rear of the restaurant building. When we got close to the car, Gary asked:

"Do you have anything at all on under that dress?"

"Well... no." I answered. "It was so damn hot in there I was sweating to death in all that nylon! I didn't think you'd mind..."

"I love it! You're the sexiest girl in the world!"

"Well, I doubt that, but I'm glad you think so..." I said as we reached his car.

For the last ten minutes I had been thinking that we needed a change of plans. We were supposed to go to a movie downtown that started in half an hour, but wearing just a dress in the restaurant had gotten me very aroused. The sensation of my nipples rubbing against the smooth lining of the dress was delightful. As often happened, my raging teenage hormones were starting to overrule my judgment. I really wanted to finger myself and get off. And I wanted Gary to watch.

"Gary, instead of going downtown, could you find us someplace private? Dark and private?" I said, as I squirmed on the car seat.

"Well, there are some places I know out by my house. Or, we could go to the drive-in theater. That's closer. Just how dark and private do you want to get?" he asked, with a grin as wide as Texas.

"The drive-in would be fine." I said, suddenly realizing that I might be getting in deeper than I wanted. While part of me wanted to get naked and masturbate like crazy, I wasn't at all sure how far I could trust Gary. I was excited by the thought of him seeing me, and excited that I might end up jerking him off, but deep inside I was also afraid that I might end up getting raped. Gary had been trustworthy so far, but I knew I was testing his self-control. I wanted him to hold me and kiss me, and help me get off, but I didn't want him to try to fuck me. He knew that, but I was aware that this was risky business. I was also aware that my pussy was damp and tingling.

It got quiet in the car, and I didn't feel like talking at that moment, so I turned on the radio and tuned to my favorite radio station. We just listened to the Top 40's until we got to the drive-in theater. He paid at the ticket booth and drove around inside the big lot until we found a place on a row towards the back with no other cars nearby. Gary unhooked the big metal speaker from the post and hung it on the driver's side window. The first feature had already started, but I really didn't care what was showing. Gary leaned over to kiss me. It was time for "The Speech".

I had been rehearsing this little speech in my mind for days, but I had not thought I would be giving it tonight. This date was just supposed to be just dinner and a movie, but it had taken a sexual turn I hadn't expected. If I wanted Gary follow my rules, it was only fair to explain where I was coming from. But until it came out of my mouth, I wasn't quite sure what I was going to say. As best as I can recall, it went something like this:

"Gary, I really like you. You're cute and funny, and you seem to really like me. You know things about me, and about what I like to do, that nobody else in the world knows, and you've told me that you can keep those secrets. Promise me now that what I'm about to tell you will remain our secret forever, that you will never, ever tell anyone."

"OK"

"No, say: "I promise!"

"I promise you that I will never tell anyone else." Gary said, raising his right hand.

"OK, you already know that I love to show off, and that it turns me on. And you already know that I'm sort of addicted to fingering myself, and that I get off in a big way whenever I do something crazy and dangerous like we did at the library. And I think you know that for some crazy reason I do trust you not to attack me, though I don't know why I should. But what you don't know is that as much fun as we've had doing wild sexy things, I'm totally and completely terrified of going all the way. It's all mixed up in my mind, but please, please understand that I just can't go all the way with you or anybody else, no matter what. I made a solemn vow to Sister Catherine that I would remain a virgin until I married, and that promise really means something to me, and I'm determined to do that. I'm not a very good Catholic, but I made a promise and I WILL keep my virginity, even if it seems crazy."

I took a deep breath. "Last year Bob tried to fuck me when I didn't want to. He pulled my pants down and I had to fight him off, and that really scared the shit out of me. It scared me so much that I probably should be frigid forever, but I'm obviously not. And if I got pregnant, I would just have to kill myself, which is a sin and I'll go to hell. So please, please, please understand that as much as I love sex, and as much as I need to get off, and as much as I like you, I'm not going all the way with you, or with anybody else. If you try to fuck me, I scream rape and crush your balls. If you want to be with me, and I hope you do, you have to be willing to do things my way."

For all his usual gift of gab, I think Gary was totally speechless. After a long pause, he leaned over, brushed my hair away from my face, and kissed me lightly on the cheek.

"I guess I didn't really understand what you meant that time in the library when you asked me to protect you." he said, and took me in his arms. "But I think maybe I do now. Whatever may happen, I'll never force you to do anything, and I'll always protect you. I promise."

It may sound corny, writing about it in this context, but it was actually a very tender moment for Gary and I. A bond of trust was established. I cried and hugged Gary for a long time before my body betrayed me.

"Gary, I've got to pee."

It was about 75 yards down to the concession building where the bathrooms were, and we walked hand in hand in the dark past rows of cars, with the giant movie screen in front of us. There was a line in ladies' room, and my need to pee just got worse and worse while standing there listening to sounds of others doing what I so desperately needed to do myself. I thought I was going to pee on the floor before I actually got into the stall. Fortunately for me, I had nothing on to take off, so the deed was done quickly once my turn finally came.

Gary was waiting with cokes and popcorn when I came out, and we slowly walked back to the car. In some cars we could see people in the front seat actually watching the movie. One couple was passionately making out. Some cars seemed to be empty, but as we walked by we could see movement in the back seat. It was dark enough that it was hard to see much of anything. I had made my decision before we got back to his car. Handing my coke to Gary, I opened the back door, got in, and then took both cokes from him as he got in. When he closed the door, the dome light went out, and there we were, sitting in the dark in his back seat. I put the cokes on the back window ledge.