Chapter 6

February 1920 - Bethan and Peter

"Of course it's the war, it changed everything."

William Welford Barnes looked up from the newspaper and gazed at his wife.

"What do you mean, my dear, precisely?"

"It's Bethan and Peter, of course. They want to get married. At least, Peter does. I'm not quite so sure about Bethan."

"Good God! When did this happen?"

"Oh, William, have you been blind these last months? Ever since Peter came out of the Air Force, or whatever they call it these days, he's been hanging around here like a lovesick puppy. I'll not deny that it's been good for Bethan but I really don't know. I'm not at all sure how I feel."

"I'll have a word with him. Tell him to lay off, or something."

"My dearest husband, you can be obtuse at times. That is not what I said. They want to get married. I'm terribly afraid we shall soon lose little Michael. Oh, I don't blame Bethan; she's still a girl, really. One can't expect her to wear widow's weeds for the rest of her life. And I don't exactly blame Peter. I know he's a good man and he was Phillip's closest friend..."

Beatrice broke off, her voice choking. William, as always when confronted by his wife's tears, was utterly discomfited. He sighed, put down his paper and rose to place his arms about her.

"Come on, old girl, that's enough of that. Chin up, now. You know we said that we wouldn't remember Phillip with weeping and wailing. He wouldn't want that, now, would he?"

"No"

She shook her head but still the tears came. Why did it have to be him? But she knew the answer. It was the War. In many ways Phillip had been fortunate to survive as long as he did. A year in the trenches and then eighteen months in the Royal Flying Corps, much of it spent at the front. How much worse had it been for those mothers whose sons had lasted only a day or two? Or even worse, for those who had almost seen it through, those who had died in November 1918. She shook her head. It didn't actually matter. Dead was dead and the 'when' of it didn't come into the equation. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry, William. It's silly of me, I know. Peter must marry Bethan. We'll just have to make the most of our grandson when they visit."

"Why can't they live here?"

"No. That wouldn't do at all and Peter, quite rightly, wouldn't stand for it."

"Why ever not? The place will go to Michael once I'm gone. I've put it all in trust for him. Bethan is quite entitled to live here with the heir to the estate."

"Yes, my dear, but Peter is not. And I would think less of him he proposed such a thing. And so would you, once you think about it."

"Would I? If you say so, my dear, I probably should. You're usually right about such things. Where shall they live, then?"

"I don't know. I haven't thought it right to raise the subject until they did."

"Well, we'll just have to ask 'em, won't we?"

Peter Riley was deep in thought. The last thing he'd ever expected when he promised Phillip that he would look after Bethan and the boy was that he would fall in love. It had happened, though. Not quickly. Peter was a far more worldly individual than Phillip had ever been. Somehow or other, Bethan had crept up on him. Not literally, of course. She hadn't meant to do it. They had been thrust into each other's company. Peter was the boy's Godfather, an office he took very seriously, not out of any great religious conviction; the War had shattered such faith as he possessed; it was more a sense of duty to Phillip's memory. Peter often wondered why he had been lucky enough to survive without so much as a scratch from enemy action. His only injury had come in a crash. Better men than he had perished. It left him with a lingering sense of guilt that no application of his strongly rational nature could quite overcome.

Now he had asked Bethan to marry him and she had accepted. It was strange. They had never been intimate on any level, had never even kissed. He knew that he loved her, desired her; that went without saying. She was a very beautiful young woman. Motherhood suited her. He loved the way her body moved, the round curves and mane of thick, dark hair. He wasn't sure whether she loved him or was simply seeking a less cloistered life than that allowed by convention to a widow. He also suspected that she found the atmosphere at Pitton House oppressive since the child had been born. She had had to give up her work as a nurse, of course. Beatrice had insisted on hiring a Nanny for the child and had then thrown herself into the role of doting grandmother. As a result, Bethan had little to do and her own maternal instincts were often frustrated by the arrangements Beatrice had imposed.

Peter supposed it would have been different had Phillip lived. They would have built their house on the hilltop where Phillip's grave now lay. He didn't doubt Phillip would have been master in his own home and that Bethan would have enjoyed considerably more freedom that she did at present. Thereby lay the problem. He could see that Bethan might be viewing a marriage to him as a means of escape. He wanted more than that.

Peter had left the new Royal Air Force the previous summer. He had been asked to stay in; thought about it briefly and then rejected the idea. He was an engineer by profession. He'd abandoned his studies at the outbreak of war in 1914 and been commissioned into the Royal Engineers. The transfer to the Flying Corps had been almost an accident. In a strange way he enjoyed the war. The expectation of being killed at any moment had somehow liberated him. He felt no sense of responsibility to anybody but himself. Everyone dealt with fear in his own way. Peter's way was to indulge himself at every opportunity. Now it was over. Like many of his contemporaries, he felt a great sense of restlessness; of something unfulfilled. He watched the peace process at Versailles with horror. The French were indulging in a petty sort of revanchism. Europe, the old Europe of certainties, had been stood on its head. Russia had dissolved in bloody revolution. The maps had been redrawn; entire new countries had sprung into uneasy existence. It boded nothing but trouble.

Unknown to Peter, Bethan was thinking along similar lines. She had accepted his proposal instantly; maybe a little too quickly, she felt now. She didn't know how she felt about the tall, gangly man who had been Phillip's closest friend. She was attracted to him; she couldn't deny it. What gave her pause was whether this was simply because he was the only eligible male she had seen since Phillip died. She was also worried that she had agreed simply to escape from the overbearing affections of Beatrice. Even thinking this made her feel guilty. Beatrice had been a rock; had comforted her and provided for both her and her son. Thinking of Michael made her smile. He was two, now and, like all two-year-olds, a proper handful. Sometimes she thought the only word her little boy knew was 'no!'

Of course, she could back out of it. Peter would be disappointed, possibly heartbroken. Yet he was too much the gentleman to hold it against her. Part of her wanted to do just that but another part, a more seductive part, wanted the comfort of a man of her own again. The lack of any intimacy to date didn't bother her. She could tell by the way he looked at her that Peter desired her. No. She had made up her mind. Marry Peter she would. It only now remained to break the news to Beatrice and William. She got to her feet, her back straight, emphasising the thrust of her bosom. She would go and find Peter right this minute. Together they would confront Phillip's parents.

"I really don't know quite how to tell you this, and I do sincerely hope that you won't be mortally offended but, you see, I have asked Bethan to be my wife and she has agreed."

To Peter's ears, the silence seemed to stretch out for ever. He saw William's eyes slide towards Beatrice, looking for a cue to follow, and then back. Beatrice sat very erect, her face devoid of any expression. He felt, rather than saw, Bethan wince beside him and he responded to the pressure of her hand in his with a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

William roused himself and cleared his throat.

"Congratulations, old man. I must say this isn't entirely unexpected, at least to Beatrice, what? Um, we will need to talk about the boy, of course. He is now the only heir to this place and we would both hate to lose touch, if you see my point."

"Of course, William. Bethan and I discussed this very point. I intend to take a house in the village, or, at least, close by. I have been fortunate enough to inherit a modest amount of capital. It seems the war was good for business and I am now in the position to start a firm of my own."

"Oh? What sort of thing do you have in mind, if you don't mind my inquiring?"

"Not at all, it's only right that you should know. Motorcars, they're the coming thing. I'm considering premises in Dorchester."

"Motorcars? Well, if you say so. I don't think they are much more than a novelty, myself, but I expect you know best."

"I think the novelty days are long gone. Without motor transport, I believe we would have lost the war. One day, every family in the land will have a motorcar. I want to be on hand to sell them, repair them and all the rest. I'm an engineer. Things mechanical are what I understand. I'd be hopeless at farming and there is really nothing else I know."

"So be it, old chap, so be it. I say, I imagine this calls for a celebration. I think we still have a few bottles of the 'widow' about in the cellar."

They toasted the engagement with Veuve Clicquot from the 1908 vintage but it was no more than a formality. Conversation was stilted and there were heavy silences. The impression was more that of a wake than a joyful celebration. Peter and Bethan were glad to slip away after an hour or so.

"My God! Wasn't that excruciating? Beatrice looked like a Hanging Judge and William gave a fair impression of the condemned man. I'm sorry they're taking it so hard."

"I didn't expect any different, Peter, did I? They'll come round. Anyway, it's only Michael that they're really concerned with, isn't it?"

"I suppose you're right, my love. Still, I thought they might have put a better face on it."

"It's Phillip, see. Beatrice still can't really accept that he's gone."

"And what about you?"

"I know he's dead, Peter, and there's sad I am because of it. I loved him very much but he's beyond anyone's reach now. You mustn't be jealous of the dead, you know. I will always love Phillip but that won't prevent me from loving you, too. It will be... different, that's all."

"I'm not jealous of Phillip. Really, I'm not. How can one envy a friend like that? I never realised how fond I was of the old thing myself until he was gone. I don't mind your talking about him either. Of course you must always love him. As long as there is a little room in your heart for me, I'll be perfectly satisfied, I promise."

Bethan and Peter married in a quiet civil ceremony at Caxton Hall in Westminster. They honeymooned in Italy. As the train sped down through France they couldn't help but notice the fields of neat white crosses that marked the graves of the fallen. Both found it a sobering experience.

"I never realised there were so many, Peter. How does anyone find their loved ones?"

"I think they are setting up a register. One can enquire and they will tell you which cemetery, which row and which plot. Of course, there are tens of thousands who simply disappeared, vanished in the mud or literally blown to bits. It doesn't bear thinking about, really."

"I'm so glad Phillip isn't somewhere like that, aren't you?"

"I'm told they are very special places with a great air of tranquillity about them. I don't suppose they care, one way or the other, but I'm glad Phillip is where he would have wanted to be. Can we talk about something else, please?"

Bethan saw the look of bitterness on Peter's face. He had explained to her his feelings of guilt at having survived when so many others had perished. Now, seeing the sheer scale of the Imperial War Graves Commission's cemeteries, she began to understand.

The Roaring Twenties

Bethan gave birth to a son, whom they named David, in the summer of 1921. Two years later, a daughter was born and they called the little girl Phillipa. Peter's business prospered and soon he had not one but four garages throughout the county. They bought a bigger house in a nearby village, honouring Peter's promise to William and Beatrice that Michael would remain within easy reach. Michael, now aged five, reacted badly to the arrival of his younger siblings and this worried Bethan. There was something in her eldest son's character that bothered her. He seemed to have a cruel streak and more than once she suspected him of hurting the younger two when her back was turned. Beatrice, of course, could find no fault with her grandson and claimed Bethan was imagining things. Michael was always on his best behaviour in the presence of his grandparents and appeared to sense the friction that he caused and revel in it.

"I don't understand the child and that's a fact. I just don't know what to do about it, Peter."

"Oh, it's probably a passing phase. He's used to being the centre of the Universe and now he's got a couple of other claimants. It's a little jealousy, he'll grow out of it."

But he didn't and Bethan felt a sense of guilty relief when William suggested, and Peter agreed, that Michael should attend the same Prep School as had Phillip. Bethan had expected tears and tantrums when the decision was announced to a seven-year-old Michael. She was surprised that he responded with something like glee to the news.

"Good! That means I get away from rotten old David and that smelly baby"

"Michael, that is not the way to talk about your brother and sister!"

"Not my brother and sister!"

"Yes they are!"

"Grandmama says they aren't, so there!"

Life was considerably easier once Michael had gone away to school. Beatrice's constant interventions all but ceased and Bethan was able to enjoy her children in her own way. She was an uncomplicated young woman and her approach to child rearing was similarly down-to-earth. In Bethan's view, children needed a combination of love and firm guidance. What they did not benefit from was over indulgence of their every whim and this was a major source of friction between Peter and Bethan on the one hand and William and Beatrice on the other.

It was a constant source of disquiet that Michael would be, by turns, sullen or rebellious at home and exude sweetness and light in the presence of his doting grandparents. By contrast, David was a happy child and Phillipa was a placid little girl with her mother's huge eyes and dark colouring. The two younger children held no interest for Beatrice and it was difficult to explain to someone so young why this should be. Bethan found herself increasingly confused. She loved Michael dearly. He was all that remained of her love for Phillip but she was not so blind as to fail to see he was atrociously spoilt and possessed a very pronounced mean streak. It was easy to lay the blame at Beatrice's door and it was equally easy to understand how it had come about. Peter did his best but was constantly reminded in ringing treble tones that he was not Michael's father; something for which, he confessed to Bethan after a particularly trying day, he was heartily glad.

In September of 1925, with Michael ensconced at Prep School, Peter was invited by one of the motor manufacturers that he represented to attend a day's motor racing at Brooklands. The former RFC flying school had reverted to its pre-war use as one of the premier venues for auto sport in Europe. The banked oval track was the scene of many time trials as well as circuit racing. It attracted the leading names in European motor sport and not a few from the USA and the British Empire. Quite a number of the drivers were former RFC pilots and Peter knew a number of them, if not personally, at least by reputation.

The event was to change his life. The day consisted of speed trials and he was drawn to the thundering machines like a magnet. It was not so much the sheer thrill of the thing, more it was the engineering challenge that held him in thrall. He knew he lacked the finesse to be a racing driver in a competitive, wheel-to wheel situation but his mind buzzed with the possibilities of making a car go faster - faster than anyone had ever been before. That very summer, Malcolm Campbell had raised the land speed record to over 150 miles per hour and was now reported to be preparing a new 'Bluebird' with his sights set firmly on the 200 mph mark. Also in the running were Henry Segrave and John Parry Thomas in the UK and Ray Keech and Frank Lockhart in the USA. Peter decided that he, too, would join the fun and spent a restless night in the Angel Hotel in Guildford, planning the outline of a strategy.

He decided he would need a driver but reckoned there would be no shortage of volunteers. He would oversee the engineering side and he thought that he knew just the person to assist him. He made some telephone calls and was able to track to down someone who might know the whereabouts of one Albert Armitage, a former corporal in the Royal Flying Corps and, to Peter's mind, a mechanical genius. Peter's informant placed Corporal Armitage in a very upmarket motor dealer in the West End of London. So, the following morning, Peter motored north.

He located the place without too much difficulty. The line of Rolls Royce cars was something of a giveaway. It also didn't take him too long to spot the distinctive figure of Albert Armitage standing, arms akimbo and head to one side as he listened intently to the purr of a straight six. Peter had seen him many times in a similar pose in the grey dawn of some French landing strip as Armitage would listen, consider and then pronounce his verdict on an engine's health. He had an unique talent for being able to identify a fault or a worn bearing just by hearing the sound an engine made. Peter had never known Armitage to be wrong and no pilot or observer would take a plane that Armitage had grimaced or sucked his teeth over.

Albert Armitage registered Peter's presence but his expression never changed. His whole attention was on a very small sound - a bum note in the orchestra. At length he was satisfied. He turned to a waiting mechanic.

"Change the timing chain, Chalky, it's on its way out."

Only then did he walk towards Peter.

"Mr Riley, sir, good to see you."

"Good to see you corporal - or should I say Mister - Armitage."

"Come about your motor, sir?"

"No, the car's fine. It's you I've come to see."

"Me, sir? What on earth for? I don't mean to be rude, sir, but it ain't likely that one of the officers would come and see the likes of me for a chinwag about old times. I've seen a few of the old squadron through here and there's not one in ten that recognised me."

"I have a job for you, Mr Armitage. I have a little project in mind and you're the only man in England that fits the bill."

"Well, it's very nice of you to say so I'm sure, Mr Riley, but I'm quite well situated here, thank you."

"It's Albert, isn't it? May I call you Albert?"

Armitage shrugged.

"Right-ho then Albert. I'll put it as plainly as I can. I mean to build a car to challenge Campbell and Segrave for the land speed record. I would like you to be the chief mechanic on the team. I can pay well. What would you say to ten pounds a week?"

Armitage's slightly wizened face broke into a slow grin.

"I'd say you were bloody mad, Mr Riley, that's what I'd say but if you want to pay me a fortune, I'd be happy to take it off you."

"Right then, that's settled, when can you start?"

"Two weeks from today?"

"Splendid. Here's a fiver. Catch the 8.40 train to Dorchester and I'll meet you at the station."

Armitage's face fell.

"Dorchester? You didn't say nothing about being out in the sticks. What would my missus say? We got a nice flat in Battersea, Mr Riley, and a sprog on the way. I couldn't go leaving her in London while I gallivant off to Dorchester, could I?"

"Nothing simpler, Albert old son. You bring the lady with you. I'll fix you up with a nice cottage. What could be better than fresh country air for her and the young Armitage?"

"Well, I don't know, Mr Riley. She's a London girl, born and bred here like meself. I ain't too certain that she'd take to the country, like."

"Well, you can but ask her, Albert. Ten pounds a week and a cottage, she might like the sound of that."

They agreed that Armitage would telephone him the next day and Peter drove back to Dorset in high spirits. He had totally failed to consider Bethan's reaction in all this. She stood silently throughout his exposition of the great project, the hiring of Albert Armitage and the welter of technical details he threw at her. He looked, she thought, like an overgrown schoolboy. His face shone with enthusiasm and his expansive gestures threatened to knock over the ornaments on the mantle. Part of her regarded him with fondness but another part felt icy cold. How dare he jeopardise their life together for the foolish, meaningless pursuit of speed? She was just about to launch into a tirade of truly grand proportions when she heard him say:

"Of course, I'll have to find a good driver."

She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Her greatest fear was to lose Peter in some ghastly accident. Losing Phillip, she had once confided to Beatrice, had felt like the end of her life as well. Now, and it had been a slow, gradual process, Peter had insinuated his way into her heart, the thought of another death was too much for her to bear. She grasped one of Peter's flailing arms and pulled him towards her. Raising one hand, she placed her finger lightly on his lips to silence him then drew him into a deep and passionate kiss. Deep down, she recognised that they had grown too comfortable in their marriage. It was not so much that she did not love him, she truly did. It was more the case, she now realised, that she had never really let herself go with Peter in the way that she had with Phillip. The ghost of Phillip had always accompanied her to their marriage bed. It was time, she decided, to change all that.

She led an uncomplaining but somewhat puzzled husband up the stairs to their bedroom. She sensed that something that she had believed dead inside her had, at last, sprung back to life. He started to ask about the children but she silenced him with another kiss, her hands already busy removing his clothes. He gazed at her in wonder. Peter felt his brain had stopped working sometime around the point she first seized his hand. He co-operated in the process of being undressed but didn't seem able to grasp precisely what was happening to him. He yelped in surprise when her hand gripped his tumescent penis and squeezed gently. Her eyes never left his face as she stood and slipped the dress from her shoulders, stepping out of the pooled white cotton at her feet like Aphrodite from the foam.

Still holding his somewhat stunned gaze, she stripped herself naked, standing in front of him with huge eyes and a half smile on her face. She felt deliciously wicked. Peter looked at his wife's nakedness and felt his breathing constricted. His heart hammered at his ribs. He was stunned. Bethan had never acted like this - not even on their honeymoon. His shock was complete when she knelt beside him and took his rigid erection gently into her mouth, sliding her tongue over him and sucking very softly at the head. Bethan nibbled at him, savouring the slightly salty taste, she felt herself grow wet. There seemed to be some direct connection between the jerking prick in her mouth and her own flowering desire. She bobbed her head, sliding him in and out of her mouth, alternating swirling her tongue around the contours of his prick with more vigorous sucking. She heard him groan and felt his hips pushing himself back at her.

She felt powerful and fulfilled. She sensed he was close to climax and speeded up her efforts, one hand snaking around to knead his balls. His breathing was rapid, harsh. Her sex was now dripping; she could feel the juices running down the top of her thighs. She squeezed her legs together, rocking her pelvis to increase the delightful sensations that flooded her as she sucked him. Then, unbelievably, she felt her own orgasm welling up inside. Now she needed him to come, to make it perfect. Her hand left his balls and pumped at his shaft; she sucked harder, slowing the movement of her head as her hand picked up the tempo. She heard him gasp. His prick seemed to swell momentarily between her sensitised lips and then she felt the first powerful spurts hit the roof of her mouth and she moaned, a deep, guttural sound that sent Peter wild. He thrust at her, undulating his hips frantically and pumping his seed into her mouth. She swallowed convulsively and her own climax hit her like a thunderbolt out of a clear blue sky. She spasmed, her body shook with the fierceness of her orgasm. A hand flew between her legs and she pushed her fingers in her sopping sex, squeezing her clitoris between her palm and her pubic bone and rocking against the sweet pressure as wave after wave of white fire seared through her veins.

At last the super-heated sensations began to recede and she became aware of Peter's softening penis still within her mouth. She sucked at him gently and licked away the last of his semen. It seemed to Peter that she purred as she did so. His head spun in a mixture of love and confusion. Bethan had never shown such passion before. In truth, it was something that had bothered Peter. He loved her dearly and, although she had never been frigid, their sex life had previously been, well, not that exciting. Now something had been released in her and he wasn't sure why or even quite how to respond. Her eyes were deep pools of brimming mystery and he felt himself drawn into them. He leaned forward and kissed her, tasting himself and he did so. He found it strangely arousing and began to stiffen again. She wriggled in his arms, her nipples tracing fire across his naked flesh and he slid into her.

This time it was slow and gentle. Peter revelled in the sensation of liquid heat that clasped him and the slow undulations of her hips in time with his deliberate thrusts. He bent forward and sucked gently on her nipples, catching first one and then the other between his lips. Bethan giggled; a delicious, wicked sound that spurred him on. He picked up the pace and she matched him thrust for thrust. Her hair was a dark storm of sex and thunder against the white of the sheets. Peter felt suspended in time and space, linked to reality only by the sweet muscles that grasped his erect cock and drew him deeper inside.

"Oh, God, Bethan, I love you so much!"

She heard his voice from far away as she voyaged among the stars, floating free, liberated from her past and her grief for the first time. Orgasm lapped at her in wavelets, each one higher than the last until she could stand it no longer and it swept her away her, crashing into the ocean of fulfilment. Lost in her own passion, she was only vaguely aware of Peter's sharp cry and manic pumping as he reached his own climax. The dim awareness of his pleasure warmed her; reaching through the fog that wrapped her and bringing her gently back to the shore of misty contentment.

Peter felt the change in her and in a vivid flash of enlightenment, saw that she had been freed at last from the long shadows of their past. He stopped himself from speaking with difficulty. He suddenly realised that to acknowledge the change would also be to acknowledge the problem. No words were necessary. It was sufficient that she had finally come out of the ice that had trapped her heart for so long. He knew that from that moment onwards, their life together had changed, become richer and more intimate. There was nothing to say that could add one iota.

1928 The Record Breaker

It took Peter two years to build the car. Parry Thomas died in a crash at Pendine Sands and Lockhart perished at Daytona Beach. Campbell had raised the record yet again and all the while Peter and Albert Armitage suffered setbacks and frustration. At first, they had followed the fashion for using giant aero engines. They fitted a 350-horsepower Rolls Royce engine onto a reinforced and stretched Mercedes chassis and found a madcap young Irishman named Connor O'Driscoll to drive for them. The tests at Pendine were disappointing. The car couldn't seem to get past 140 mph, for all Albert's loving ministrations. They took it home and fitted a supercharger but while this increased the power, real speed eluded them.

O'Driscoll soon lost interest and went off to join the 'Bentley Boys, ' where his dashing style and ability to party for days without a break soon made him a popular member of the racing team. Peter and Albert, meanwhile, slogged on. It was Albert who changed their fortunes. He had settled into country life as if born to it and his wife had become a sort of unofficial nursemaid to David and Phillipa while looking after their own child, a boy named Peter, in honour of their benefactor. Albert always claimed that it was his wife who had given him the idea. She had told him one evening about the children playing together and how Phillipa could always ride a tricycle faster than her older brother.