Chapter 5

Lunch for Mac was a blur. His head was spinning with the things that the Judge had told him. Several times Angela, Tess or Jason spoke to him and he didn't hear them. Finally, when lunch was over, Angela asked Mac to join her for a walk in the gardens. Tess was a bit miffed but Mac promised to stay longer to see her yearbook.

It was a wonderfully warm late September afternoon. Angela led Mac outside and down a flower lined path, her arm in his. They walked silently for a while and then sat on a bench overlooking the spacious gardens. The trees were swaying with the gentle breeze and there was a strong smell of sweet flowers in the air. Angela sat close to Mac, their thighs touching.

"I love it out here. It's so peaceful. Everything seems so clear," she said as she leaned into Mac.

"Jason told you that he has cancer didn't he?"

"Yes. I had no idea. How long have you known?"

"A couple of months."

"Angela... he... he also told me that you told him what happened between us. God Angela, was that necessary?"

"Yes, I think it was. Jason and I have a relationship built on honesty. From the very beginning we have always been honest about our needs and desires. It is the thing that has kept our marriage good. I couldn't live with that kind of secret. Listen Mac, I always knew that when I married an older man there was a possibility that... that sexually there could be problems eventually. I also knew that I would be a relatively young widow. Somehow that didn't seem to matter when you love someone. And, I do love Jason... more than ever." Angela turned to Mac and took his hand. She had tears in her eyes. "I need to stay strong for him. All this stuff with the trial and maybe a contract on him makes it that much harder to take." She looked away again and then said, "Mac, I'm sorry he brought you into this on one level. However on a personal level, I'm glad he did. It's been too long."

"I'm glad he thought enough of me to ask for help," Mac responded. "I acted like a kid after... after... well you know. Maybe it's time to start over and forget about the past. I'm glad he doesn't hate me for what happened. I have to make it up to him."

"He doesn't hate you. We talked for a long time about that. He understands," Angela said and paused again, looking meaningfully at Mac and squeezed his hand. "He really understands," she said again when she saw a strange look on Mac's face. "Mac... Jason and I... well... oh damn, this is hard. Our... our sexual relationship has been non-existent for years. It's not because he doesn't want to do anything. He has had medical problems in the past and now the cancer..." Angela said and her voice began to crack with her emotions.

"Angela, you don't..." Mac started to say when Angela touched his lips with her fingers.

"I know I don't have to tell you this. But, I want to." She turned and looked away. "I know that sex isn't everything. But the desire is there and I can't deny it. It's why what happened between us happened. I'm only human. But, I've never done anything with anyone else," she added. She placed her hand on Mac's thigh. "Even though Jason said I could. It was always too much of a risk."

Mac could feel the heat from her hand on his thin summer slacks and felt unwanted excitement. He couldn't believe that this woman could have such an effect on him. It was as if their three-year separation never happened.

Angela turned and looked at Mac and like three years ago, their lips drew together like magnets. However, this time they weren't drunk. It was as if time had stood still.

Angela's body relaxed into his and a moan escaped her throat.