Chapter 7

I waited a long while for Brenda to say something. Finally she said, "I'll speak with Carl and I'll make sure that he tells Willie, Greg and Ray not to bother you or go to your house again. If one of them stops by, just give me a call. Don't worry about them; we keep them pretty busy, OK?" I said, "Thank you, I feel better now, sorry to have bothered you, Brenda."

Brenda was nice as she said, "I'm glad you called. I want you to feel free to call me anytime you need to talk. I don't want you to go off the deep end and do something crazy that will hurt all of us. I know we treated you like shit, but from what I saw I honestly thought that you got off on being treated like that; I did not realize just how much you disliked it until you told us today."

I thanked her and we hung up. I went back into the kitchen and finished off doing my mommy thing. Everything seemed to be normal. Clark was home on time, we all did our things that we did every night, well, the things we did every night up until three days ago, that is. I got the kids off to bed and kissed Clark goodnight to go to bed as I always did.

I took my shower and I made sure to clean myself everywhere. My butt hole was sore, and my poor pussy, it felt real sore. I finished getting ready and got into bed. I lay there and I thought about everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. I could not think of anything else but what I did and — to be honest with myself -- how much that I had enjoyed it. Clark turned off the TV and came in, and I closed my eyes to make him think I was asleep; I did not want to have sex with him tonight.

Clark got in and in a few minutes he was out like normal. I lay there wondering just how many men had videotapes of me today. How many of them were watching it jacking off to it. How many people watched me these last three days? How many of them were women? Did women really enjoy watching me do those things? Will I even shrink back down inside so I can enjoy Clark again? Where was I going to get rid of those rubber dicks? I tossed and turned thinking of all this over and over. I finally thought to myself that if I was going to throw those two things away, I might as well use one of them one last time; you know, once they are gone, I'll never have them again.

I touched myself and yes I was a little sore, however when my finger found my clit, it thrilled me, I mean I touched it and I could not help it, I began rubbing it hard and fast, giving myself so much pleasure. What surprised me was just how wet I was. Maybe it was leftovers from today but no, I had douched there, so couldn't be anything left in there. I felt so slick down there, and once my fingers started down there, the better I felt. I knew I was ready for it, so I pulled out the black one from the nightstand, brought it to the center of my heat and my need, pulled it inside and began to float on that wonderful cloud of pure pleasure. I laid there, legs up and open my wrist working that lovely cock in and out feeling the fat bulging fake veins on it against the inside walls of my pussy. I felt myself approaching a climax and it was going to be a hard one, I was moving it in and out fast and because it was so quiet in the house I could hear two things: I could hear my husband next to me with his steady breathing and I also heard the slurping sound coming from between my legs, slurping and sloshing as it moved in and out.

I felt my heart throbbing, I felt my breath coming faster and I had to open my mouth to gasp for as much air as I could get. I felt it talking over my body as I began to climax. When I hit the top of my peak, I pulled the cock into myself as hard as I could without shoving it up into my stomach. I pulled my legs back and rode it out I saw lights in my brain flashing, I felt my body spinning as I clung to my climax as long as I could before feeling it begin to fade away. It took some time before I felt myself coming back to reality. I began to regain my senses and I listened to see if Clark was still sleeping; he was, and he was snoring so loud I knew he was completely out. I just laid there relaxing and trying to but it all together in my mind as to what happened and why I did what I did again.

It took some time, but I did manage to come back to reality. I slowly pulled the cock out of me and I got up, took it into the bathroom and washed it off. I dried it off and I could not take my eyes off of it; I realized right then that I would miss this thing very much. I mean, out of all this crap, this and its rubber brother were the only good things to come out of this to make me feel good about myself. Well, to a point. I knew that by keeping one or both of them would cause me not to shrink back down to a size that Clark would feel good to me again. I turned off the light, put it in my nightstand and went to sleep.

In the morning we got up as normal and we went through our routine and by 7:45 they were all gone and I sat at the table sipping my morning coffee. I sat there thinking how nice it was not being pressured into having sex with strangers or being watched. I went to the bedroom and began to dress. I remembered the other rubber dick that I hid between the mattress and box springs. I walked over and pulled it out, holding it I looked at just how long it was and how fat it is, and how good it felt inside. Standing there I wanted to check and see if my labia was still sore. I discovered that I was just fine and it felt so good today. I then wanted to see if I was wet at all; I mean, it seems like every time I touched myself lately I was wet. Sure enough, I was. I was wet, open and I felt so good standing there like that in my bedroom, holding this huge fat rubber dick in my other hand. I brought it to my mouth and pretended it was Willie's dick, well, since it was the white one, I guess I should have pictured Ray's dick since Willie is black and the other one was more his color.

I knew right then and there that I could not start my day off today without using this lovely thing once, maybe twice. Then I'll figure out what to do with it but right now I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. I turned and sat down on the bed, still sucking the rubber dick. I closed my eyes and it wasn't a rubber dick anymore, it was Ray. I opened my legs and I was so wet as I began to play with myself. I seemed to make myself more excited as I kept doing this. I mean, I loved it but I knew I was not there yet, I knew I was only beginning, I also knew that in order to really get the full feeling that I was now beginning to crave I needed more than just this one cock.

I could taste myself on the rubber dick that I was sucking on; I remembered how I had not cleaned it and how I just stuffed in between the mattress and box springs after I used it the night before. It had an odor to it. Oh, sure, there was the smell of rubber from the thing, but it also smelled of sex, my sex and, God forgive me, I loved that smell. I mean, I really loved it; it added to my excitement.

I stopped playing with myself long enough to reach to my side and take out the other rubber cock, (the black one). I kept working the white one with my lips as I laid back onto the bed, pulled up my feet from the floor and my legs back against myself. I aimed that black beauty into my wanting hole and I pulled it in real slow; I wanted to feel it stretch me as I filled myself. I closed my eyes and I had Willie standing along side the bed filling me, while Ray was kneeling across my chest and feeding me his big cock at the same time.

I have no idea when I began to climax. I began and I just kept coming and coming. My rubber lovers were so good, they knew exactly what I needed and how to give it to me, Ray and Willie made me feel like I was queen of the earth. I was sent up to the heavens and back down to earth, I saw more colors than there are names for, I saw star after star as I laid there on my back legs up tight against myself fucking and sucking my two lovely lovers.

I did not realize that my climaxes were becoming further apart, but what I did notice was how my legs wanted to come down and how my jaw was starting to get a tiny bit sore. I knew for the most part it was over, so I pulled out Ray from my mouth and I managed to pull myself up as I dropped my legs back down onto the floor. I sat up there with my legs apart, holding this big huge rubber cock still up inside of me. I looked down at it and I was amazed at all the shiny liquid stuff right near the entrance of my body. I knew that the juicy liquid was all me and I had to taste myself all fresh from my masturbation bout. I watched as I slowly pulled that cock out of myself and I could feel it up inside of me as it came out, I had two distinct feeling going on. The first feeling was the emptiness as it came out of my passage way and I mean emptiness; I almost wanted to pull it back up inside because I did enjoy that filling feeling so much. I know that if I could have figured out a way to keep it in me all day long I would have loved to just lay there with it inside of me. I knew that could not happen. The second feeling that I had was excitement; I could see more juice than I ever thought would be there. In the dark I had not looked at it before and the other times I used it, I never looked at it like this. I was amazed as to just how much it that I had up inside of me. I stopped pulling it out and I had to watch it go back inside of myself, I had to. Doing it again gave me that filling feeling but I wanted to see just how much of this very long, very fat dick that I could take. I pulled it back in until I could not pull it any more. I think I only had one inch, maybe two inches at most, still outside of my body. I knew it was deep inside of my cervix, because I felt it as it slid past my now relaxed opening. I wondered if I pushed real hard if it would hurt or if I could force it deeper.

I used my right hand and then I even used my left on top of it trying to pull it in. I felt the pressure, however, there was no pain. I could not get it in any deeper, I instantly knew the next step, I pulled it out stood and laid it on my dresser, I then pulled out my sewing kit and grabbed the tape measure. I rolled it out and measured the whole thing; it was just under 13 inches. To be specific it was 12¾ inches long. Then using the still wet glistening area, I could see where it had stopped going inside of me. I took 11½ inches inside of me. I know that because that was still wet. I don't know what came over me, I just had a shudder run through me as I picked it up with both hands and began licking it up and down the shaft; there was something that I can't describe about tasting myself like that.

I cleaned it up and I happen to look into the dresser mirror while I was doing it and when I saw myself I stopped. I saw this attractive woman standing there naked, with this huge fat rubber dick in both of her hands holding it up to her mouth as she was licking the head. I glanced up just as I stuck my tongue out to take another lick of it from the head down the shaft as I had been doing. Anyway I saw that and I just froze, I could not believe that in such a short period of time I had allowed myself to become this way.

I just stood there and looked at myself standing there holding it. I don't know what I was thinking but one thing for sure I wanted it out of my hands and away from my face so I sort of threw it down. I watched it hit the dresser top and bounce on the floor. I stepped backward until my legs hit the bed; when I did, I just sat down still looking at myself in the mirror. Needless to say, I was stunned; I was sick and I tried to think of where my life was going, what would I do next, is it too late to stop acting this way or was I past the point of no return?

Could I really stop myself from wanting to use those things again? Could I really get rid of them? If I do get rid of them, what do I do for my sexual release? In the past I never thought about stuff like that, but now, today, when I loved the feeling of being stuffed like that, I knew that Clark would never fill me like those can or like the men I have been with have the last three days. Even yesterday when I did those 100 men, they were all different sizes, yet the only ones I really enjoyed were the ones with the larger dicks. Even the ones that did me in my rear gave me different feelings. Once the first one screwed me back there, I hate to admit this, but I got a real good feeling when they did me there and the larger the man was, the better I liked it.

I sat there and once again I began to cry. I guess when I just don't know what to do the easiest thing to do for me is just cry. I finally got up, grabbed the two rubber dicks and went to take a shower. I dropped them into the bathroom sink so I could wash them first, which I did, then in the shower I just stood there trying to think about getting rid of them. I guess if I was honest with you and myself, I was trying to figure out if I could now live without them in my life.

I got out of the shower, leaving it running, and I grabbed both of them, took them to my closet and hid them behind some boxes I have shoes and pictures in. I returned to the bathroom and got back into the shower. I knew that I could not get rid of them just yet. I would try to not use them again and I felt that if I could go a week or two without using one or both of them I could get over this sick desire of mine.

I put it out of my mind and finished my shower. I dressed in my sweats and decided to go for a run, (I like to work out my anger and doubts by running, wearing myself out). We live just down the street from a rather large county park; I like to run in it because it is clean and safe. Being a pleasant day I wanted to walk a bit before working myself to the point of collapsing (I always do that when I am keyed up like this).

I lost track of the time because of everything that I got wrapped up in this morning, I noticed a lot of people in the park something I seldom see. I guess the reason I never see people is because I do my running early in the morning when Clark and the kids have left and by that time all the other morning runners have already finished and I normally had an empty park. I would always walk up to the entrance, then start running, today when I got to my starting point, I saw a woman feeding the ducks on the pond, I just decided to walk and watch her. She would throw out what looked like breadcrumbs and the ducks would all gather and pick up the crumbs.

Further down I saw a woman walking her baby, then an older couple sitting on a bench. I noticed cars all over the parking lot; I only mention that because like I said for the whole spring and summer I always had an empty park to run in. It was nice see others enjoying the park. I noticed men sitting in cars, some sitting there eating, others talking with women in the cars, and I actually saw two different couples making out (one rather passionately). They looked like they were in their 20s. In all the years that I have lived here I had never really visited the park to enjoy it by just walking and looking at it. I mean, the flowers that were absolutely beautiful, and all the trees and shrubs. I had passed the walking paths before but I was running and I never had any intention on stopping to walk any of them.

The park is big, like I said; it had some very large sand rocks people could climb up on and parts of the park was very wooded. There were three different ponds. I never knew how many acres it was on, but it took me close to an hour to run completely around the running path. And that I think covered the front half. I looked at my watch and saw that it was 11:50 so I figured these people came here during their lunch break. The reason I was there was to get rid of all the crap running through my head about sex and all that crap. I decided just walking around like this was working just fine. Besides I had all day, why not enjoy the beauty that this place had to offer?

I just followed my nose, walking on some of the hiking trails that took me up some of the hills in through the woods, then back out. The park had benches placed everywhere and picnic tables, which looked like people liked to use during lunch times. I guess maybe some of the people there were off because there were so many people there. I found a park bench that had a nice view below, so I just sat down to enjoy the sights. It was so peaceful and quite. I listened to the birds and at one point I closed my eyes to just listen to them sing.

I though I heard a giggle. I opened my eyes and looked up the trail, then back down the trail, but I did not see anyone. I was just going to close my eyes again when I heard the giggle again. It was a fun giggle from a woman; I don't know why but it made me curious. Now in the past I have never been one to be that curious, but for some reason the way that it sounded I was intrigued. I mean, it sounded almost like I do when I was out on a date and I was in a position of enjoying myself and not knowing what to say or something like that. Anyway, I sat there and began to look around to see if I could locate the source of the giggling. I realized that it was coming from behind me further off the trail. I stood up and looked, and all I saw was thick bushes. I don't know why I did it, but I just had to see what was going on that was causing this woman to giggle like she was doing.

I looked around and did not see anyone watching me, so I began to move toward the sounds. The closer I got to the sounds I realized that the giggling was not just giggling, but was sexual. Now, I know I should have stopped at that point but I didn't. I kept inching to the sounds. I wondered what this woman could be doing here in the woods in the bushes that she was making those sounds. I moved slowly because I did not wish to be discovered in my spying. I knew I was going to spy one someone and most likely a couple, so I made sure I was not going to be seen. Now I could hear the sounds very clear and I could tell it was a couple.