Chapter 4

"Good morning sir"

"Morning"

"Morning Mr Jacobs"

I felt slightly fraudulent as I walked through the sumptuous foyer en route to my office, desperately hoping that my father hadn't swapped offices on a whim since my last visit there.

He hadn't, he'd even kept the same secretary, a rather good looking but prim woman in her forties, Mrs Wilson

"Morning Mr Jacobs" she smiled at me warmly, "Would you like me to run through things with you sir?"

I think she must have sensed my relief, because she poured out a coffee for me and pulled a chair up to my desk. It took almost an hour, but by the end of it, I knew more or less what to expect and who to expect it from and I smiled gratefully as I heard a knock on my door and Clive Springer marched through like a conquering hero, a triumphant look on his face and a piece of paper in his hand, which he waved under my nose.

"I've taken legal advice about - - - -," and that was as far as he got before I lifted him off his feet and marched him to the door.

"Remember your manners please Springer" I said and dumped him into one of a line of chairs in the outer office. "My secretary will be with you in a minute and will ask me if I'm free to see you"

Ten minutes later she rang,

"There's a Mr Springer to see you sir"

"Send him in please but leave the door open, he won't be staying long"

I detected a slight laugh in her voice as she said,

"Very good sir"

Not quite as sure of himself this time, but he was still far too pompous for my liking,

"Please remain standing Springer" I said coldly, "Now as regards the piece of paper in your hand, you can use it to wipe your arse with, I really don't give a fuck what it says or what legal advice you've taken, you're fired and you'll stay fired, you can get the Pope, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela and the president of the United States of America on your side and the end result will be the same so watch my lips, you are out of a job"

The triumphant look had disappeared totally by now as I continued,

"I have in front of me a list of all the prostitutes whose services you availed yourself of during company hours and paid for with company money, I found it in my father's desk, so I assume he was going to fire you anyway"

I handed him an envelope,

"In here is a cheque for wages due, holiday pay due and your last expense account, less the amount of company money you used for your whores, there's just about enough for your taxi fare home if you don't tip the driver, now I'll trouble you for the keys to your company vehicle"

For several seconds her resembled a goldfish, his mouth opening and closing as he searched for the words without actually finding even one

"Oh I nearly forgot, your mobile phone please and as you were no longer an employee of this company from last Friday onwards, you will of course be receiving a bill for calls made since then, now go"

Still he stood there after handing me his phone, tears forming in his eyes, he was a broken man,

"Fuck off" I said quietly and he shuffled out in utter despair!

"Mrs Wilson?"

"Sir?"

"He was my father's personal assistant wasn't he?"

"Yes sir"

"And how long had you been my father's secretary?"

"Eighteen years sir"

"Can you find me a new secretary please, quickly?"

I saw the alarm in her eyes, but there was also a flash of anger,

"I can sir, but if I'm to be fired I want to know why and I must also insist that you find your own fucking secretary, - - - -sir"

I burst out laughing and stood up, taking her by the hand, I led her to the office adjoining mine, the one that said C. Springer on the door.

"Find someone to take that creature's name off and have a plaque made with your name on it instead and what do I call you, I'm damned if I'm going to call my new personal assistant Mrs Wilson"

"Oh God" she sat down with a bump in my chair,

"Me?"

"Are there any more of that name here?"

"Fuck me!" then she blushed and stammered out an apology,

"I mean, oh I don't know what I mean!"

I laughed again and poured her out a glass of water,