Chapter 5

Having an affair means lots of sneaking around, lots of late nights at the office, lots of excuses about "Not tonight, honey, I'm so tired." An affair means a lot of lying, lots of shame, and lots of guilt. Of that I'm not proud.

I'm ashamed I let my dick get me in trouble and that I was unfaithful to my wife. I'm bothered by the thought that all the while I should have been trying to make things better between my wife and me. I'm bothered by the fact that I was a cheat and a liar -- guilty as charged.

But I'll never regret having met Rebecca, nor will I ever regret any of the things we did together. To this day, Rebecca is the most wonderful love- maker I've ever had. She fulfilled me in so many ways, not just sexually. She was, and probably still is, a kind, generous, and giving person, as well as an attractive and desirable woman. The only thing I regret is that I couldn't give myself totally to her, that it couldn't have been her I'd go home to every night until I die.

Neither of us wanted a permanent relationship, although if it had lasted longer I might have been willing to give up my wife, our home, and all that I'd worked for and built up over the years. I didn't want a permanent life with Rebecca for perhaps obvious reasons. And besides, having an affair is illicit, dangerous, and adventurous.

Rebecca didn't want a permanent relationship because she'd been married once before. It had lasted fours years, ending with a lot of hatred and bitterness. She'd wondered if a man and woman were really meant to be together for any length of time, and if an ending to marriage such as hers wasn't always going to be the way such things ended. Her rationalization was that if it was going to end that way anyhow, why bother going through it in the first place?

So both of us were content to meet occasionally, have outrageous sex, and do everything that lovers do except live in the same house. It wasn't always about sex, but it did play a central role in our relationship. She always wanted to have me in her, and I always wanted to be there. Her vagina always dripped for me, and I always had plenty of sperm to fill her up.

Our affair continued, as I've already mentioned, for ten years. In that time, my wife and I had moved twice -- in the same area, however, and Rebecca had moved several times, also in the same area, except for her last move.

Despite where we lived and the challenges that going to and fro presented, we always managed to find time to be together. Sometimes we'd meet at her place and other times we'd meet at a place where she was house-sitting. Other times, we'd meet at a park. Once we even met at a concert where we sat on a lawn. It was a cool day and we covered ourselves with a large blanket, beneath which we made ourselves come. How deliciously dangerous it was!

I guess all good things must come to an end, and when Rebecca moved so far away that we couldn't meet so easily, our relationship gradually wound down to the point where we mutually agreed to call it quits.

Rebecca had moved to a town almost 100 miles away. It took two hours to drive there, four hours for the round trip. There's no way I could do that during the week, and the weekend was also difficult because I'd have to explain why I didn't do my chores.

I did make the trip on three occasions, however. Of course I had to go there at least once to see her new place. It was the first house she'd ever owned and she was so proud of it. In addition, I had to go help her "break it in", if you know what I mean!

On all these occasions I lied to my wife, saying that I was entertaining out-of-town business associates. But as time went on, it was obvious that my visits were going to be very infrequent. Add to that the fact that Rebecca was having an entire new life in her new town, with new friends and new activities. So it came as no surprise to me that on my last visit there, Rebecca suggested that the time had finally come to say goodbye. I had to agree, but not without some tears from both of us. I'll never forget that day.

As I mentioned, I'd lied to my wife about having to entertain business associates. I arrived at Rebecca's house around 9 AM, a little earlier than either of us had expected due to the unusual lack of traffic I encountered. As I knocked on the door, I could hear her inside.

"Oh my god, is that you already?"

I heard her footsteps as she came to the door and pulled back the curtain to check that it was really me.

"Hi honey," I could hear her say as the curtain fell back. "You're early. I'm not fully dressed yet," she continued as she opened the door.

Rebecca was barefoot, wearing only a pair of shorts and her bra. I could see her dark pink nipples plainly through the gauze-lace fabric holding those perfect breasts in place.

"That's OK," I said, putting my arms around her neck and planting a sloppy wet kiss on her lips. "I don't mind," I smiled.

"I'll bet you don't, you dirty man," she said jokingly.

Over the years our behavior towards each other had evolved, perhaps much the same way that it did for normal couples. We'd gotten very comfortable with ourselves and our bodies.

"Give me a minute to finish dressing."

Rebecca went off into the house and when she reappeared had put on a blouse and shoes and brushed her lovely blonde hair. She was a true vision of beauty and it struck me how odd that there wasn't a constant line of men at her door, despite her obvious plump features. Her smile would brighten any room, and her personality knew no strangers.

The area where Rebecca lived was very scenic, both geologically as well as geographically. We drove around for a couple of hours, catching up on our lives and holding hands. We stopped for lunch at a roadside diner, one of Rebecca's favorites. We drove around for another hour or so, then went back to her place.

Something seemed a little different about Rebecca on this day. Something was not being said, and I rationalized what it was. So when Rebecca brought up the topic I wasn't surprised, and was in fact expecting it.

"Do you want some iced tea," she asked when we got back to her house.

"Yes, that would be nice."

While she went into the kitchen, I went out onto the deck to enjoy the clean outdoor air and the splendid views of the forest. The air was a bit on the cool side, and I lifted my face towards the sky. Closing my eyes I inhaled deeply.

I felt Rebecca's arms around my stomach and the familiar bumps and bulges of her breasts, abdomen, and vulva press into my back and butt. She laid her head on my shoulder blade. I could smell the soft scent of her perfume. Her fingers slid into the waistband of my shorts.

She worked her fingertips into the waistband of my briefs, flicking them at the tip of my penis, bringing it instantly to life. I felt her warm hand as it wrapped around my shaft and started stroking it up and down.

I stretched my arms back around her and grabbed a couple of handfuls of her ample bottom, so soft even through the fabric of her shorts and panties. We stayed like this for a moment longer.

"What happened to that iced tea?", I asked.

"Here it is," she said, pulling her hand from my shorts, walking over to the table where she had set the two glasses.

She handed me my glass, and I drank almost half of it right away. For some reason I'd become very thirsty. I sat down on one of the patio chairs and looked out into the trees.

"It's a very pleasing view, don't you think?", Rebecca asked. "I mean, it's not like another back yard we enjoyed once, but it's still pretty darn nice."

"You've done very well for yourself, sweetheart," I said. "You're a homeowner. You live in a really nice town. From what you've told me about your friends, they seem like very nice people."

"Yeah, they're nice to me. I like them a lot."

Both of us sat there for long minutes, enjoying the view of the forest and sounds coming from the trees. It wasn't an awkward silence, however. It was just one of those moment when nothing needed to be said. Rebecca eventually broke the calm.

"What do you think we should do?", she asked.

"You mean about us?"

"Yes. We shouldn't go on like this. I've got a new life and maybe you need to go home and work on stuff there."

"I've been thinking about it, too. I should let you get on with your life. Regardless of my home situation, it's unfair of me to get in your way. And it's such a long way up here. We could only see each other once or twice a year at the most."

"Oh, sweetie," tears started forming in her eyes. "I've always loved you so much. I'm sorry that it has to end."

"I've always loved you, too. At least we're not parting with enmity and bitterness. I'll always treasure the memories I have of you and us."

"Oh, honey," she said, tears streaming down her face.

I moved over to her and kissed the tears on her cheeks. Rebecca began to sob outright, the waves shaking her body. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

"Dearest Rebecca, I'll always love you 'til the day I die. I know my last thoughts will be of you."

My shirt became tear-soaked as she buried her face in my shoulder and wrapped her arms tightly around my back, pressing herself fully against me. I concentrated on how her body felt against mine, knowing that this would be one of our final embrace. I wanted to memorize how every curve and mound felt so I could remember it forever.

I kissed her hair and her temple, then she raised that lovely face up to me, her blue eyes wet with tears. Her lips were moist and slightly parted. Not knowing how she would respond, I placed my lips on hers, hoping for one last passionate kiss.

Rebecca closed her eyes and pressed her lips firmly against mine. She opened her mouth and her tongue slipped between my lips. I opened my mouth and our tongues met in a frenzied dance, circling each other, tips flicking.

Our bodies were as tightly pressed together as they had ever been, and we ground our pelvises together. The bulge of my penis found the corresponding mound of her vulva. We pushed so hard against each other it was almost painful.

Hands began to wander over hips and buttocks, over mounds and bulges. Almost simultaneously we started unfastening each others' shorts, pushing them down to expose our naked genitalia.

Rebecca reach down and grabbed my hardened penis, placing it at the source of wetness between her legs. I was instantly coated with her juices.

I pulled her top up and off, then unfastened her bra and tossed it away, not caring where it went. She lifted my shirt off and we stepped out of our fallen shorts and underwear.

There we were, totally naked on the deck, the outdoor theme again, a fitting end to our relationship.

Smiling through the tears, Rebecca pulled me into the house and into the bedroom, where she fell back on the bed, pulling me on top of her.

We kissed and stroked and rubbed, frantically at times, but always with the tenderness we'd come to expect from each other after all these years.

I positioned myself to enter her, but she pulled away from me.

"Not yet, darling. I want this moment to last a long time for both of us."

I looked quizically at her.

"If you're not in a hurry, could I ask you to please give me a back rub?"

"Of course I will, sweetheart. You know I will."

We'd given each other many back rubs over the years, rubbing other parts as well. Rebecca opened a nightstand drawer and took out a tube of strawberry hand and body lotion. I'd gotten in trouble with it before, my wife smelling it on me. I'd had to really scramble to come up with an explanation for that one, let me tell you. But this time I didn't care. My beautiful Rebecca was offering her body to me one last time and I wasn't going to let her, or me, down.

Rebecca spun around onto her stomach and laid her head on her folded arms. She wasn't a thin woman, as I've already mentioned, but she wasn't fat either. As far as I was concerned she had the perfect shape, just enough "meat" in all the right places, a subtle plumpness giving her a cherubic or Raphaelian appearance.

Her bottom was one of her best features, well- rounded, but not dumpy. Cushiony, is maybe a good word to describe it. I liked to rest my penis on her crack as I rubbed her back, and my balls at the place where her crack met the tops of her thighs. Today as I got into position, she reached back and spread her cheeks, my penis dropping into the warmth of her beautiful white ass.