Chapter 4

In the two weeks that followed I shut my mind to everything but trying to survive. It made it easier that the boys were kept busy from early morning till late in the evening. The crops were coming up and Uncle Nat needed all the help he could get. Besides the regular chores, Jason and Billy Joe were hiring out to a neighboring farmer who was building a new barn. They were doing it for the extra spending money, and I was relieved that they weren't around so much.

I spent more and more time with Aunt Linda in the big, old kitchen, or helping her hang the wash. Keeping busy made it easier to forget what had happened to me, and in a few days I'd pushed even the most casual thoughts of sex completely out of my mind.

One hot day a couple of people from a Bible study class in Connerton came to the door with their pamphlets. Aunt Linda tossed the tracts on the kitchen table and later I looked through them while I drank a glass of milk. Seeing verses quoted from the Bible reminded me that the Good Book was chock full of wise things on almost every subject. With all my self-centered worries I'd forgotten that there might be answers for me there.

That night I borrowed Aunt Linda's big black leather bound Bible and took it to my room. Sunday school had always been so uninteresting to me with its goody-goody lessons and sweetness and flowers, but as I leafed through the various books of the Bible it was like seeing the words for the first time. I read some of Genesis and Exodus and then flipped further, looking for something to do with my particular tangle. For some reason I stopped at Song of Solomon. When I'd been just a kid our Bible study teacher had always carefully avoided that book of the holy scriptures--and I had never bothered to find out why.

It was hot again as usual so I was lying face down on the bed, naked except for panties. Since my door locked securely from inside, it was an easy habit to get into. Verse thirteen was the one that stopped me and I must have read it a dozen times, the last few words aloud.

"... he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts."

I clamped my legs together and felt my labia slip wetly against the inner softness of my slit. Then I took a big gulp of air and read on. No wonder the teacher had skipped these parts. The girl seemed to be talking to the boy and offering him her pomegranates, but any fool could see it wasn't fruit she wanted him to have.

Another line caught my attention and I read it five or six times, rocking my hips slowly against the mattress all the while.

"My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door..." I swallowed and read on, "... my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh dropped upon the handle of the lock."

Why would the girl talk about her hands and fingers being perfumed just to turn the handle of an ordinary door, I wondered, unless she was talking about another kind of door. Like the door between her legs.

More than a little bothered by the passages, I pulled my panty waistband up, but the damp material at the crotch slipped up into my slit and rubbed ever so gently against my clit. Without being able to stop, I rocked my hips faster, panting as I read and reread the lines of Solomon. It sounded like the girl had put her fingers on the lips of her cunt and pulled them open for the boy! Shutting the Bible with a whimpering breath, I ran my hands down along my tummy and thighs. When my fingers touched the thin, wet material that shielded my most secret place I gave another panting sigh, hooked my thumbs in the elastic at my waist, and wriggled free. With my soles flat on the mattress I opened my thighs and put my trembling fingertips on my swollen little labia, gently spreading them back. It struck me then how girls were made--with a slick warm little pocket in their bodies, a little hole almost exactly the same size as a male's erect cock.

Holding my breath, I touched the tip of my forefinger to the rigid little stalk of my sex trigger. A shiver of excitement shot through my loins and made me raise my bottom from the bed. I blushed suddenly with the knowledge of what I was about to do. No! I would not do bad things to myself. The fact was, I didn't even really know how.

Quickly I pulled my panties back on, slipped into my jeans and pulled a blue sweatshirt over my head. I had to get out of my room for a second to calm down. I could go to the house for a glass of milk.

Everything was dark when I came up to the kitchen porch, so I let myself in quietly and headed toward the corner where the big white refrigerator sat. I was almost going to open it when Uncle Nat's voice rose in muffled anger from the bedroom just off the hall.

Though I'd never been a snooper, it was hard to resist the urge to listen--only for a minute or two, I promised myself. Quietly I padded across the kitchen and part way into the hall. Holding my breath, I pressed my back against the wall and waited.

"Why in hell not?" Nat's voice hissed. "You used to do it."

Aunt Linda waited a moment before she spoke. "I never did like your... your stuff in my mouth, Nat. I just don't want to any more, that's all."

My knees felt shaky already and I pulled air into my lungs and clenched my fists to fight down the electric effects my aunt's and uncle's words were having upon me.

"Damn it to hell, woman. I can't put it in you and you won't suck it either. What the hell will you do?"

"Be quiet, Nat," Aunt Linda scolded. "You'll wake the boys."

My crotch had begun to seep again with love juices and if I hadn't been afraid of making a noise, I would have gone back to my room. Linda spoke again.

"Get on your back then. I'll do it with my hand."

I heard the bed squeak and Nat grumble. Then there was only a soft bumping sound which went on and on without stopping for at least a minute. My heart was in my throat with all the imagining I was doing. I could see the skin wrinkling up every time Linda moved her hand up toward the crown of Nat's cock--at least in my mind, I could. But everything inside me was saying that I had to leave them alone, had to stop hearing things not meant for my ears.

I started back across in front of the barely open bedroom door, but a gust of wind from the kitchen pushed it all the way open. I was still completely in darkness, but with the moonlight filling the bedroom and the doorway both, I couldn't cross into the other part of the house without being seen. The only other direction was down the hall toward Jason's room. I knew I didn't want to go there.

Cursing myself for ever having given in to my curiosity, I stayed close against the wall and stared into Nat and Linda's bedroom. The just-risen moon was blasting its blue light over their bed, lighting it like a nightclub stage. The tall, white pillar of Nat's penis stood straight up from his crotch and I could see my aunt's thin hand pumping the skin up and down just like I'd imagined, only uncomfortably more real.

My crotch was a soppy mess. I slipped my trembling fingers under the waist of my jeans and searched through my pubic curls to the place where my slit seeped honey. Nat had begun to make odd noises and his excitement was having a devastating effect on me.

"Faster," he mumbled.

My aunt's pretty fingers flashed in the weird light and I could see the big glans swell each time its swollen ridge was brushed. I wanted to look away and I wanted to watch. Closing my eyes in guilty confusion, I probed my clitoris again and again until my legs threatened to cave in and drop me to the floor. I was holding on to the door frame now with my free hand, panting quietly in the lonely hallway while Nat thrashed on the bed.

The soft bump-bump sound of Linda's hand on my uncle's cock changed suddenly to a slick, sticky noise and when I opened my eyes I saw why. Spurt after spurt of heavy come was rolling from the tip of his huge organ and oozing down over my aunt's fingers. A forceful jet smacked against Nat's stomach and another plopped onto Linda's arm, but her curved fingers rose and fell again and again until there was no more seed in his balls.

I rubbed my own cunt harder and faster, feeling an odd electricity building its tension inside my tummy. My eyes went out of focus and then came back in again. It had been the first time in my life I'd caused myself to get so excited just by touching my parts, but I couldn't continue--not standing there in front of Nat and Linda's bedroom door.

The moon went under a cloud and as the darkness filled the house again, I slipped by the open door and out into the kitchen. In a few moments I was safely on the back porch, resting with my back against the steps. I'd almost pulled myself together enough to start back to my room when the screen door opened once more and Linda came out into the still night.

"Oh, Shelly!" she whispered, surprised. "I didn't think you'd be up this late."

My aunt was wearing only a thin, loose robe and I glimpsed her tittles for an instant as she sat down. I thought they looked marvelously firm for her age, but then I didn't really know how old Linda was.

"Couldn't sleep," I told her.

For a little while neither of us spoke, then Linda looked at me in the darkness and gave a small smile. "I never can sleep either when Nat starts wanting sex with me."