Chapter 3

The next morning at breakfast I didn't say much. Jason kept his eyes down in his plate too, and though Uncle Nat and Aunt Linda didn't notice how uncomfortable we were, Billy Joe sensed it right away.

Jason had to go to town for some feed in the pick-up so Uncle Nat gave Billy the keys to his old Buick and told him to take me down the river for a little outing. It was easy to see that Billy Joe was glad to have a day away from his usual chores. Before we left, I slipped into a pair of white bellbottoms and had Aunt Linda braid my hair. The sun was already making things hot, so I wore my thinnest, coolest blouse.

Though he didn't have a license yet, I knew Billy felt four inches taller as he backed the truck around and headed out on the rutted road which led toward the river.

"Nat lets me drive any time I want," he said. "As long as I don't get out on the highway or go into town."

I watched him shift gears smoothly as we climbed a short grade. Then the road wound between huge cottonwoods and Billy turned the vent windows in so the breeze would blow across us.

"What happened last night?" he asked without giving me any warning. "With you and Jason, I mean."

Ever since I'd awakened that morning I'd tried to push the whole incident to the back of my mind. The whole thing seemed almost like some horrible dream. Watching the horses had been wicked enough, but I wanted to forget completely about the way Jason had thrown me into the haypile and made me act like one of the rutting beasts I'd seen in the corral.

"What makes you think anything happened?" I asked, careful to keep my voice innocent.

Billy Joe grabbed a leaf from a low hanging branch as he swung the truck around a turn. "Jason and I have been going down to the horses every night, but last night he wanted to go alone." Billy shrugged. "Then I saw the way you two were acting this morning at breakfast." He pulled the truck up beside a large willow and turned off the key. "He didn't try to get in your room, did he?"

I laughed. "Jason? Of course not."

Billy's serious blue eyes were on me. There was no mistaking the protectiveness he felt. "Jason's my blood and he's okay, but I just know how he is with girls. Kind of crazy." Billy tilted his head "You know what I mean?"

I nodded slowly. "I guess so."

I followed Billy Joe down to the river. We had stopped by a narrow bend and there was a dam of large rocks which held back enough water to form a good sized pool. Below the pool was a foamy, cascading waterfall and I thought right away that the spot was like a small piece of paradise. Billy Joe was already pulling off his shirt.

"Going swimmin', aren't you?" he asked when he saw that I hadn't started undressing.

"I didn't bring any suit."

He wrinkled up his freckled nose and chuckled, "we don't use them things out here. I keep forgetting you're from the city."

"I'm from a town... not a city." I felt made fun of.

"Anyway, as long as you're gonna be in the country for a while, you might as well get used to skinny dippin'."

It was my turn to tease. "Billy Joe, you're worse than you say Jason is." I folded my arms and looked stern. "I'm not going to get undressed while you stand there gawking."

He was pulling his faded jeans off over one foot now, balancing and hopping around on the other. I could see his polka dotted shorts underneath and they looked so baggy and ridiculous that I had to laugh. Billy saw me and grinned back.

"Tell you what--I'll jump in and hide my eyes until you're in the water."

He didn't wait for me to protest. In the next instant I glimpsed his bare, white bottom as he arced through the air and disappeared with a splash. In a second or two his blond head bobbed to the surface.

"Wait," I said. "I don't know if I want to--"

"Okay," Billy interrupted. "I'm turned around now."

It did seem silly not to get into the delicious-looking water just because I was used to public swimming pools with their silly rules and regulations. Besides, we were miles from any main road and the land all around us belonged to Uncle Nat.

Quickly I skinned my bellbottoms off and tossed my blouse on top of them. I thought about keeping my panties on, but realized that if I did they'd soak everything else when I got dressed again. In another second I pulled them off and dropped them with my other things. I was afraid that Billy might peek any second, so instead of waiting for my skin to get used to the cold water, I plunged right in. When the water was lapping around my neck, I called to him.

"O--O--Okay."

Billy Joe gave me a smile of encouragement and swam over to a flat rock. When I saw that he was pulling himself up onto it, I quickly looked away. It seemed stupid though to keep my back to him all the time so I decided to act as if I wasn't bothered by his nakedness at all.

He just sat there on the rock, digging at a scab on his leg while I watched. Dewy droplets of water hung in the reddish pubic hair around his crotch and the little white snake that drooped down from the middle of the fluff seemed so soft and harmless that I was soon losing much of my self-consciousness. In a little while Billy stood up and dove. I saw his white body knife through the water and he surfaced not two feet away.

"Hey!" I yelled, covering my breasts with my hands.

"Aw, it's blurry under there anyway." He snuffled some water from his nose and grinned his toothy smile.

Maybe it was because Billy was a year younger than I was, or maybe it was because he seemed so nice, but I didn't so much as flinch when he drifted near and then pushed his mouth up against mine. For a long time everything stopped. I held my breath as his lips moved tenderly against my own. Billy's hand touched my waist and then his other one joined the first. I can stop it any time I want, I told myself, but still it was like the way hunters hypnotize rabbits with a flashlight while they take aim. Just as I was getting jittery, Billy broke off the kiss and dove beneath the surface of the pool again. Trembling, I turned and started toward the rocky bank. That was why it was evil to be naked-- because being naked made things happen that you couldn't control. I was half out of the water when I realized Billy Joe might be watching.

"You're awful pretty, Shelly," he said from somewhere behind me.

Quickly I clutched an arm over my nipples and spread my fingers over the sparse diamond of pubic curls at my crotch.

"Turn around, Billy!"

"Not until you kiss me again," he teased, paddling towards me.

I plunged back in, feeling angry and excited at the same time. "All right. Just one kiss."

This time we stood facing each other on tip-toes. I felt his foot touch mine under the water and then his hands took my face and brought it close. I closed my eyes and let him do what he wanted. It felt slippery and nice, even though I was trying hard not to enjoy it too much. I remembered the way Jason had made me feel the night before--the crazy, itching explosions that had racked my body. Billy was touching me the same way, and I could sense I was weakening again. I actually wanted him to do it more.

"Come on!" I said finally, tearing myself away, "that's enough." But Billy dove under the surface and clutched the backs of my thighs. We were in deep enough water to make it hard to stand when the river surged and Billy Joe knew that. I had my legs spread for support when he pushed his face between them. I paddled with my hands and hoped he'd run out of air. Then I felt his tongue slip softly against the outer lips of my cunt and my skin flashed hot, even with the cool river slipping over me. Billy moved again and his mouth opened to cover my slit. I felt my vulva blossom out eagerly. He was eating my pussy!

Before this, I'd only heard of such things in the shower after gym class, or giggled about at slumber parties. Even the more sexually precocious girls I knew thought it was terribly wicked.

I looked toward the shore, but it seemed further away than ever. An involuntary shudder swept over me and I moaned. Billy Joe had sucked my swelling little button between his teeth so he could tongue it. I was beginning to feel weak and soft all over when a rolling mass of bubbles broke the surface and Billy's head appeared behind them.

"You're so fine I could almost drown," he said, blowing water from his nose and mouth.

I tried to appear calmer than I really was. "Billy, I want to get out. Right now."

Billy Joe slipped an arm around my waist and walked beside me through the swifter part of the current. I knew I should get dressed immediately, but every muscle in my body was trembling from exertion and excitement and the thick green grass by the side of the truck looked so inviting. I had to rest, if only for a second.

Billy's hands smoothed over my sides as I crumpled. I felt exploring fingers on my thighs and then a wet tongue dove into my navel. Coming to the swimming hole had been a mistake. Boys were far too dangerous to trust. Billy was kissing wet spots down my belly now, but all I could do was lie there panting. Why did it have to feel like that? It had to be wrong to feel so good. The hot tongue which was tasting my body pushed apart my crack once more and I felt the delightful flames engulf me from waist to knees. Whimpering, I twisted half onto my side in a last effort to make Billy stop, but he dug his fingers into the meat of my ass and set off new and wondrous sparks. Even my tight little rectum was glowing with a pleasurable tingle.

"Get away," I gasped. "Oh God, Billy, don't--don't keep on."

The point of his tongue was pushing at my hymen. I could feel the pressure--like a soft little eel that was looking for a place to hide. The slick, slurping sounds made me understand just how deep in trouble I was getting. Quickly I put my hands down and grasped Billy's thick, damp hair.

"Stop!" I cried. But even as I twisted my fingers in his blond locks, something inside me took over, something I didn't understand. With a choked sigh, I pulled his face even harder against my frothy cunt and spread my thighs wide. I was up on tip-toes now, working my pelvis in frantic plunging circles. It was even itching more than it had with Jason the night before. It was itching so awful--awful good.

I screamed and a spasm of pleasure broke through my loins. Billy licked harder and the tickle grew so intense I jerked with pain.

"Stop--Oh just a little now... Uhhhh uhhhh."

And Billy did what I said, only just touching my jumping clit with his lips as I clamped my thighs tightly around his head and rolled sideways and squirmed and wiggled into the second, and most thrilling, come of my life.

"Oh doll," Billy murmured, "you taste so damn good."

For a long while I was almost unconscious, my body trembling and jerking as it cooled and calmed. When I did open my eyes again, Billy was on his knees near my face. I looked at his flat, muscled stomach and thin, strong thighs. The slender stalk that rose out of his curly pubic hair really woke me up fast. I'd never really seen a man's cock all blown like that in broad daylight.

"Shelly," Billy said, "will you suck me?"

"What!" I wasn't even sure I'd heard right. He reached out and touched my cheek with his fingers. "I said, will you suck--"

"No!" I looked down. "Never."

"It's not as bad as you think." The blue eyes danced behind the freckles and he gave a little shrug. "It's a nice thing."

My eyes were on him again. The soft hues of purple around the tip of his cock fascinated and repelled me. I remembered the full color pictures in a medical book someone had stolen and brought to school. The organ in the pictures had been a lot like Billy's, and I found myself growing curious about what was beneath the foreskin which partially hid his swollen glans. The medical pictures had shown it pulled back, but pictures were only pictures.

"Just touch it," he asked.

Even as he said it, I was wondering how the skin would feel sliding back over the shank. But I knew everything had gone too far already.

"We'd better be getting back, Billy. Really we should."

"Touch it once and then we'll go."

Billy's eyes were so puppy-like and appealing that I felt mean by not doing at least that one thing. As I reached out, I told myself that it was only because Billy wanted me to so badly. My fingers trembled when I took the white skin behind the tip. Billy made a funny sound in his throat and closed his eyes. I realized that he must be feeling the things I had felt when he touched and licked me down there. Fascinated by my control over his body I circled my hand around the hot member and pulled the foreskin back. The surface of his glans was shiny purple and as the taut flesh slipped down over the flared ridge I felt the organ grow heavier in my hand. It was getting even bigger. Gently I moved the skin back and forth a few times, and each time Billy's cock surged with blood. Now my own crotch was tingling with excitement. His penis wasn't really ugly--at least not when it was resting in my hand. Billy had started to pant, and I noticed a clear drop of lubrication hanging from the tip. I moved my hand back and forth again and it fell warmly onto my fingers.

"Can't you please taste it?" Billy breathed.

I shook my head emphatically. "That's an awful thing to ask a girl."

"But it's hurting me!" he groaned, clutching his abdomen with both hands. "Don't you know anything about boys?"

He was writhing on the grass now and the way he bit down on his lower lip made me feel awful. Maybe he was in pain and I'd been the one who'd caused it.

"Jesus Christ, just taste it," he begged. "Please Shelly!"

The dark, brooding forces inside me welled up again and I bent over the pulsing swollen head of Billy Joe's cock, closed my eyes and licked my lips. I'm a virgin, I said to myself. I've never been fucked. What I was going to do was bad, but I was still a good girl. Then I steadied the jumping thing with both hands, made a little O with my mouth and slipped down over the moist tip.

For a moment I didn't move at all. The knowledge that I was kissing a boy's penis made me dizzy at first, but the warm musky smell was not so terrible as I'd imagined. Billy Joe sucked air between his clenched teeth and smoothed my hair with his hands. He liked it. He really liked it!

Maybe a few more seconds wouldn't matter.

Being as tender as I could, I slid the foreskin back further and glided my lips down over his steaming glans. Billy pushed himself up slightly as if he wanted me to take him deeper. Knowing it was insane, I made a little trough with my tongue and let his rigid cock ride along it until half of him was wet with my spit. There, I thought. That should satisfy him and I can quit. But Billy's caressing fingers suddenly clutched my head and, though he wasn't forcing me, I felt it would be hard to take my lips away.

Slowly he guided my head forward and back, forward and back until I was doing it by myself. His penis felt so heavy and hot in my mouth, so strange.

"Touch me," he gasped. His voice sounded very far away.

As if in a daze I reached out and cupped one warm egg in each palm. Billy's hands tightened even harder on my head and a low growling sound started in the depths of his chest. The tip of his glans was almost making me gag every time I pushed my mouth down over him, but his clutching grasp was too strong to fight. It was only at that moment that the full impact of what Billy Joe wanted filtered through to my sin-drugged brain. He was going to pump my mouth full of his semen! He wanted me to keep his cock inside my mouth while he came! He wanted me to eat his white seed.

"Now!" he coughed. "Slow... real slow..." His meat throbbed against the roof of my mouth and the sounds he was making were stranger than ever. "Lick it on the bottom, Shelly," he ordered. "Lick it or, swear to God, I'll break your neck."

Scared half to death, I ran my tongue between the division where the bottom lobes of his glans came together. On the third sanding rub a heavy fountain of come sprayed into the back of my throat. I gagged and tried to pull my head away from Billy's hurting hands, but he yanked me back.

"Suck me!" he mumbled. "Suck me good!"

I sucked obediently with rapid little movements around his tip.

"Jeeesus damn!" he groaned as another hot glop oozed out of the tiny orifice onto the middle of my tongue. I couldn't help but taste the sour salt sharpness of it as I forced it down. Billy started gliding my head up and down again, and the next three jets were strong and full. It was coming so fast that I couldn't help but make little wet gurgling sounds in my nose when I gulped. My heels were tucked under my bottom and when I felt them hotly covered with slick wetness I knew my body liked what was happening. Billy wet my tongue with a last slippery droplet and he fell heavily into the grass beside me. I sat there dazed, wiping my slimy chin with a finger.

All the way back to the farm I sat against the opposite door, too ashamed and mad to speak to Billy. Besides making me do those awful things with him, I kept remembering that he was my cousin. Being blood kin made it even worse. But I couldn't ignore the fact that half the blame was my own. Was that why Mama had lectured me so often on being good? Had she known that I had a dark cave of evil inside me that would lead me astray?

"Damn it, Shelly, don't be mad," Billy said after a while. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Well you did!" I blurted. "I'm so humiliated and wicked feeling I wish I could crawl under a rock."

He struggled the truck around a rocky piece of road and shifted gears. "That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Jason says that anything the animals do must be all right for humans."

Just hearing Jason's name made me madder. "I suppose Jason taught you how to... put your mouth on a girl like that."

Billy Joe's face reddened slightly. "Well... sure. He's given me a few pointers, but a guy has to find out for himself too."

So I had just been an experiment in sex for him. With my hands braced on the seat and dashboard, I turned to face Billy. "If you ever tell anyone what I... what I did to you down there I'll... I'll..."

"There's nothing wrong with giving a fellow some head," he smiled. "Lots of people do it."

Head. Yes, I had heard that word somewhere before and now I knew exactly what it meant. I'd given Billy Joe head. How awful it sounded.

I spent the rest of the day sitting in the kitchen with Aunt Linda while Billy tended to the chores he'd skipped during the morning. I was completely disgusted with myself and sickened by everything that had happened since I'd come to the country. Yet, somehow just watching my aunt cook and sing as she drifted gracefully around the room made me feel better.

It was late afternoon when Jason came clambering noisily into the house. He had a paper sack of things from the dime store for Aunt Linda, and after he'd handed them to her one by one his hand went once more to the bottom of the bag.

"Close your eyes," he said to me.

I closed them and immediately felt something soft and silky touch my face. It was a beautiful silk scarf all yellow and red and blue. I'd been wanting one for a long time to tie in my hair.

"It's pretty. Thank you, Jason." I could see by his expression that he meant it to be an apology for the night before.