Chapter 1: The Ripening

Dear Diary - Mom says I'm old enough now to have a baby. She says that what happened last week means that I'm making eggs and all I need is a man's sperm to mix with my eggs and I will be pregnant. She splained how that happens too. I don't think I'm gonna like that when I get married but Mom sez I'll change my mind. She sez I gotta watch out coz there's lotsa guys are gonna try and get me to do it and I hafta be careful coz, if I let them touch me, I might wanta do it too. I think she's wrong bout that. I like boys but I'd never let one put his thing inside me, speshly if he could knock me up.

Dearest Janine,

It's awful here at camp. I wish I could be back there with you. Or else have you here to be in bed with me. (If you can dignify a sleeping bag on the ground by calling it bed?)

Most of the girls are younger than me but there's nobody like you. I get in my sleeping bag every night and pretend that you're in there with me. Do you miss me? I wish we'd started making out a long time ago. I kept seeing how you were growing but I wasn't sure if you'd like what we did. You do, don't you?

Your loving, best friend,
Eileen.

Dear Diary - My bubs are getting bigger every day. I hope I get real big ones like Jan has. I probly won't coz I'm not fat like she is. Anyway, mine are too big now for my hands to cover them and I aint twelve yet so they likely will be pretty big. The older boys are looking at them so I know what they're thinking. Mom sez I gotta be careful coz I'm pretty and guys will try to get me to let them do what makes babies.

Dear Eileen,

I wish Mom had let me go to camp with you but she says we can't afford it now that she and Dad have split. I'm awful lonesome for you. I hope you don't find someone else to be your friend while you're away? Promise you won't.

Mom says that our cousin is going to spend the summer here and help out around the farm. He's nineteen and at college. I haven't seen him since I was real little and I don't remember him at all.

Now I have to go do the dishes. I miss you.

Love,
Jan.

Dear Diary - I learned something new yesterday. Nancy, she's most as old as Jan, told me bout how to play with myself. I didn't believe her but last night in bed, I tried it. Boy! Is it ever good! The first time it scared me but then I tried it again. I got all wet and slippery and then I got a funny, hot feeling in my belly. It left me all weak and squishy but it was fab. I'm going to stop writing now and try again tonight.

Dear Partner;

I've met a nice guy here. He's one of the counselors and he's almost twenty. He's not very big but he's friendly and not at all like those guys I told you about. He doesn't try to grab me or anything. He just likes to talk to me about philosophy and stuff. Maybe he'll help me get through the summer without you. I'll have someone to talk to, even if I have to be in bed without you.

Love,
Eileen

My Darling Eileen,

I miss you more than I've ever missed anyone, even Dad since he left us. And I love what we do together. I do what you showed me but it isn't the same.

Anyway, I'm glad school is over. The guys were awful, the way they kept bumping into me and pretending it was an accident when they grabbed at my bubs. I wish they weren't so big and I wish they were hard, like yours. I don't think the guys realize how big you are up there because you don't shake and jiggle like me. I gotta go now.

Love,
Janine.

Dear Diary - My cousin Bill is a hunk! He's real big and tall and he's good looking. I can tell he thinks I'm just a little kid. I bet he'd be sprised if he knew what I do in bed at night. I heard him tell Mom that he has a steady girlfriend at college. I wonder if she lets him do it to her? Nancy says most guys and girls do it by the time they're through high school, but I'm not going to. She tole me something else, too, but she said I couldn't even write it in my diary, so I won't.

My cousin thinks I'm just a kid but he dont think that about Jan. He keeps peeking at her bubs but he tries to make like he ain't really doing it. But the way they bounce when she walks, he can't help but notice them. I'm gonna let him get a look at mine and see if he still thinks I'm a little kid. My nipples get real big sometimes, speshly when I'm doing what Nancy told me about. And sometimes, when I wear a tight sweater, they get big, too, if I don't wear a bra. I got a little pink sweater that's too small for me and, when Mom's away, I'm gonna wear it without a bra and I bet he'll notice me then.

My Darling Bill;

The summer will never end. It's only June and already I'm aching for you. You unleashed a monster, you know, when you... well, you know what I mean. I just wish you'd given up Val for me at the beginning of the year. I feel like I have a great, empty cavity down there and, after what you've done to me, I guess it is a lot bigger than before. But I want you to be with me and to fill me again. I'm using my fingers and getting hotter than ever. When can you come visit me?

Your loving slave-girl,
Cathy.

Janine Dearest;

I have a confession to make. It's about me and Jim... that's the camp counselor I told you about in my last letter. But, remember darling, it doesn't change the way I feel about you.

Jim is a nice, very sensitive guy and last week after all of the others were in bed we sneaked out together. He took me to a place where we could watch the lake and the moon while we sat there.

Anyway, Jan, he asked me to help him, and I did. I held it and sort of stroked it. (You know what I mean by "it".) And I let him feel me, too. It wasn't as good as with you, but I guess I helped him. I'll tell you more when I get home, but when it happened for him, he shot out a lot of gooey, white stuff. That's what they taught us about, I guess. That was his sperm but it was safe enough the way we did it.