Those of you who have read my husband's story (Wendy) must have a pretty low opinion of me. I have to admit that after finding and reading the story myself, my self-respect was at an all time low. I don't expect that by writing my story I will change anyone's opinion, but it is something I need to do. I have wanted to explain to Jim how these things happened but he won't discuss the matter with me. My hope is that Jim will see this on ES and read it. I know this won't make everything all right, and given the graphic nature of my accounts of what happened it might even make things worse but I hope Jim will read this and get some understanding of what happened from it.

This whole thing started long before I ever met Jim. I was a junior in high school when I met Dave Dickson. He was a senior and was one of the most popular boys in school. When he asked me out on a date for the first time it was like one of my fantasies had come true. Dating Dave Dickson made me the envy of most of the other girls in my class.

By our second date I was sure I was in love with him even though he hadn't even kissed me yet. On our third date Dave drove us up to the school parking lot and parked in a dark area. That's where he kissed me for the first time. That night we kissed a lot but that's all we did.

My mother was waiting up for me when I got home that night and I think she must have known what Dave and I had been doing because she took me into the kitchen and we sat at the table and my mother said, "I know this is an uncomfortable question to be asked but I have to know. Are you still a virgin."

"Mother!"

"Please answer me." There was no anger or accusation in her voice.

"Yes, I'm still a virgin."

"Good. I know how difficult it can be to resist but believe me it's best that you do. I never told you this before but I think you should hear it now. When I was your age I got pregnant. My boyfriend deserted me and I knew I couldn't talk to my parents about it, so I had an abortion. It's something I have regretted ever since. I don't want anything like that to happen to you. I want you to promise me that you won't have sex until you are at least twenty years old."

I was a little shocked by what my mother was telling me. I was trying to process everything she had said when she asked me to make that promise, so I didn't respond immediately.

"Wendy, will you promise."

She was looking at me so intently that I couldn't help but say, "I promise."

"Wendy, I hope you mean it. I am trusting that you will keep your promise. If you don't you will be letting us both down. I may never know if you kept the promise or not, but you will."

My mother spent the next half hour outlining the dangers of having sex at to early an age and the benefits of waiting. Her points were all well taken but I didn't feel that I needed to have this conversation with her. I wasn't planning on having sex with anyone. I hadn't really given it any thought. So I made the promise and had no worries about being able to keep it.

As the school year went on and I continued dating Dave our make out sessions in his car got hotter and I found myself getting more aroused. The first time Dave touched my bare breast I thought I was going to faint. After that I began to have fantasies about going all the way with him. But whenever he tried to get his hand inside my pants or up under my skirt I stopped him.

On one particular night Dave had me so hot I was having difficulty fighting off the urge to let him take my virginity but when he began to push his hand up my thigh I stopped him. Dave said, "You're driving me crazy. We have been dating for three months now. Don't you think it's about time that we do it?"

I was just about to tell him I couldn't do it because I had promised my mother I wouldn't but I realized that would sound stupid so I said, "I am saving myself for marriage." That probably sounded just as stupid, but it was easier for me. As soon as I said it I knew it made me sound like a naïve little girl but I figured it was better that the truth.

The rest of the school year was the same way. Every weekend Dave would take me parking and in the end he would go home frustrated. Every time Dave would try to get me to go all the way I would hear myself making that promise to my mother. One night after a particularly hot session in Dave's car I made myself a promise. That as soon as I turned twenty I was going to have sex with Dave. I began to fantasize about my twentieth birthday. I would have a big party and afterward Dave would take me to his bed and make love to me. One night as I lay in bed fantasizing about Dave I felt a tingling sensation between my legs. I didn't know what it was but I like it and the way it made me feel. I squeezed my legs together to try and intensify the feeling. That just made the feeling more intense. Without really knowing why, I reached between my legs and pressed my fingers against my vulva. I couldn't believe how wonderful touching myself like that felt. I began to gently rotate my fingers against my pussy and then it happened. My body suddenly went stiff, and then it felt as though I was being lifted off the bed and spun around in a soft warm cloud. My whole body tingled as I felt like I was going higher and higher. When I reached the peak of my delight I drifted slowly back down and I was eventually aware that I was breathing heavily but I had this general feeling of well being that I didn't understand but really enjoyed. Then I drifted off to sleep.

The next night I was able to duplicate the experience. I began to pleasure myself every night before going to sleep. It wasn't till months later that I found out what I was doing was called masturbation and the extreme pleasurable feeling I got from it was called an orgasm.

I continued to date Dave through the end of the school year and through the following summer. In the fall Dave went off to college. Before he left Dave told me that he would always love me and he would write to me everyday.

He didn't write everyday. He wrote about once a week for the first month then he stopped writing. Dave called me when he came home for the Thanksgiving holiday break We were only able to go out together one night and when I wouldn't let him have me that night Dave got mad. He said that I was immature. He said the girls at college would never tease a guy the way I did.

We didn't speak again until he came home at Christmas. I called him and he agreed to go out with me. I wanted so much to have sex with him that night but when the moment came I remembered my promise and I wouldn't let him have me. Dave was pissed. He called me a cock tease. That hurt me. I had heard that term before but I never considered that I was a tease.

I didn't see Dave again until he showed up at my graduation. He told me that he would like to start dating me again but if I wasn't more mature than I had been the last time we were together we should just forget about it. I knew that he was saying that if I wasn't ready to go to bed with him he didn't want to bother with me. Even though he was still the only person I had ever wanted to have sex with I got angry and told him that I didn't want to go out with him any more. I was so mad I start calling him names. I told him that I though he was lazy and shallow because he just wanted to go out with an easy girl and have meaningless sex with her and he just couldn't stand it that I was virtuous.

Dave got very angry, but I walk away from him before he said anything.

I didn't date anyone else in high school. In spite of the bad way things ended with Dave I still fantasized about having sex with him when I masturbated in bed at night. In the back of my mind I was hoping that I would see him again when I turned twenty.

Ending up going to college at Georgia Tech was a bit of a fluke. I wanted to get as far away from home as I could for college. I applied to several schools around the country. I got accepted at almost every school I applied to. To narrow down the field I decided I didn't want to go to a school in a cold climate. Then I looked at the schools that were offering the best financial aid packages and finally I put the names of the remaining schools, three of them, in a box and drew out Georgia Tech.

I was in my second year when I met Jim. I was taking some summer courses and met Jim in my Philosophy class He asked me out at the end of the first week of classes. Jim was nice but I wasn't ready for a serious boy friend yet. Prior to meeting Jim I had gone on very few dates but my fantasies about Dave continued. After just a couple of dates with Jim I began to like him very much. I made it clear to him that I was a virgin and was in no hurry to change that and Jim seemed to be all right with that. As I became more attached to Jim we did a lot of petting but Jim never pressured me for more that I was ready to give.

That September I turned twenty years old. I began to feel guilty because I knew I was falling in love with Jim but I was still thinking about my fantasy of having sex with Dave. Then one day late in September I got a letter from Dave. He just asked me how I was doing and said that he missed me. He asked if I was going to be home at Thanksgiving and wondered if I would like to get together with him.

That was it. I was twenty and free to go home and give myself to Dave. Then I thought about Jim, and for the first time realized how much I wanted him. I was torn. To which one of them should I give my virginity? Dave was the one I had always dreamed would take my cherry, but Jim was the man I was in love with now.

I was dealing with this the night Jim talked about in his story when he said that he sensed that something was wrong and that I kept wandering away from him at the party. I was trying to make a decision. Should I have sex with Jim, the man I was in love with, or go home at Thanksgiving and try to live out the fantasy I had been masturbating to for the last three years.

Once Jim had taken me back to my dorm I was able to think more clearly. Jim was the one I loved, Jim was the one I would be willing to spend the rest of my life with and Jim was the one I wanted to make love to. So I called Jim and told him I wanted him to make love to me.

Jim's account of our first night together was pretty accurate. He made the evening so romantic and he was so loving and gentle the night was better than any of the fantasies I had about Dave taking my cherry.

Jim took me out for dinner and dancing then we returned to his apartment where he put on some romantic music and poured us each a glass of Champaign. After he made a toast he took me in his arms and kissed me. From that moment on the only thing I could think of was what it was going to be like when Jim penetrated me for the first time.

As Jim continued kissing me he began removing my clothes, but he was in no hurry. When he had my blouse and bra off he spent a lot of time kissing my breasts and sucking on my nipples. When Jim opened my skirt and let it fall to the floor I was already starting to have a small orgasm. I was standing there with only my panties on and I wasn't the least bit uncomfortable.

Jim took my hand and led me to his bedroom. I remember thinking at the time that this was happening just like it always did in my fantasy except that I was with Jim instead of Dave. I was happy that it was Jim.

When we got to the bedroom I sat down on the bed and watched, as Jim got undressed. It was funny to watch because he was acting so cool and nonchalant and trying to move slowly, but I could tell by the way he was fumbling with the buttons on his shirt that he was having trouble concentrating on what he was doing. When he removed his pants and I saw the way his erection was pushing out the front of his jockey shorts there was no way he could act nonchalant anymore.

He jumped on the bed and began kissing me. Then he slipped his hand inside my panties and I felt his finger penetrate my vagina. He began to play with my clitoris and kept at it until I was ready to explode so I told him I was ready.

Jim removed my panties and sat on his knees between my thighs. I watched Jim put a condom on by rolling it down the shaft of his cock. I had seen condoms before but I had never seen a man put one on before. Of course, at that moment I was so aroused that anything Jim did would have been exciting for me to watch. Jim moved between my legs and placed his cock at the entrance to my sex. He moved very slowly trying not to hurt me as he pushed his cock in until he hit my hymen. He stopped there for a moment then he pushed the rest of the way into me. I felt a sharp pain down there and I grabbed hold of Jim to keep him from moving until the pain subsided. After a couple of minutes the pain stopped and I relaxed my grip on Jim. He started a slow in out motion with his cock, which didn't feel good, but didn't hurt either. As Jim picked up the pace I got more comfortable with the feel of his cock inside me and when he climaxed I could feel his cock pulsing as he emptied his load into the condom.

When it was over Jim asked me if I was all right and if he hurt me.

I told him I was okay, and then I lied and told him that it started feeling betting toward the end. I lied because I didn't want to hurt Jim's feelings. I was scared that it would never feel good but I pretended to have really enjoyed it.

When Jim pulled out of me I didn't want to talk anymore about how it felt so I pretended to be interested in how much semen was in the condom. I played with his cock for a while then told Jim that I was going to get birth control pills so that we wouldn't have to use condoms anymore. All this time I was nearly crying because I thought that after all this time waiting for this night I didn't enjoy it.

We sat and talked for quite a while then Jim began kissing me again. I knew he was going to want to do it again and I was scared. I didn't want him to think I didn't like having sex with him. As Jim began kissing my breasts again I felt myself becoming aroused. By the time he entered me for the second time that night I was no longer worried about enjoying sex because I had already had an orgasm and was so close to a second orgasm that I climaxed almost as soon as Jim entered me. This time every stroke of his cock inside me was setting me on fire. There was no more pain, only enjoyment. I had a third orgasm as Jim climaxed inside me.

I stayed with Jim that night and he made love to me again in the morning. After that Jim and I made love every chance we got.

Because of previous commitments each of us had made to our respective families we couldn't be together at Thanksgiving. Jim went to his parent's house and I went to mine. Even though we had a great family Thanksgiving I felt a little empty not having Jim with me. I was thinking about Jim when I went to bed that night, but it was a dream about having sex with Dave that woke me up, wet and horny. I ended up masturbating while I thought about having sex with Dave. When I got up the next morning I felt very guilty about masturbating while I fantasized about Dave. I felt like I had cheated on Jim. It took me most of the morning to convince myself that I was only reacting to a dream and I hadn't really done anything wrong.

Later that day I got a call from my friend Barb, who also happens to be Dave's sister, asking me if I wanted to go out that night and see some of our old gang. I said that I would love to, and then Barb told me that Dave would like to see me. The rest of the day I thought about seeing Dave and I thought about the dream I had the previous night. The memories of the dream made me horny and unsure whether I should see Dave or not.

Jut after dinner that evening Jim called me. We talked for a half hour and when I got off the phone I knew what I had to do. I called Barb and told her I wasn't feeling well and was going to stay in for the night. I told her I would see her at Christmas. While I avoided the potential of ending up in bed with Dave that night it didn't stop me from masturbating while thinking about what might have happened if I did see Dave that night.

I never really believed that I would go to bed with Dave during the vacation I knew the situation would be uncomfortable for me and that is why I didn't go out that night.

After college when Jim asked me to marry him I was extremely happy. I knew Jim was the only man for me. I thought that we had a great marriage and that I was content. Jim mentioned my obsession with fidelity in a relationship in his account and he was right. I always thought that if you loved someone that you would be faithful to that person. I realized that there were temptations in life but it shouldn't be that big a problem to not give in to temptation. It was a small sacrifice to make for the person you loved.

I believed in that and practiced it until my high school class reunion. Originally I wasn't that interested in going to the reunion but I hadn't been to my hometown since my wedding and I thought it might be nice to go see what my old friends were doing. Jim encouraged me to go and said he would go with me. After that I began to look forward to the reunion. We Jim told me he couldn't go with me I was very disappointed and I was a little angry that Jim would give into his boss so easily and agree to go to Jacksonville that weekend. Couldn't he have waited and gone there the following week? Anyway Jim encouraged me to go by myself and I decided I would.

The reunion was held at our high school and I took a taxi there from the hotel. I felt foolish being there by myself as I stood outside the school debating on whether I should go in and make an appearance or go back to the hotel and skip the reunion. I could get a flight out the next day and go to Jacksonville and spend a few days with Jim. I was very nervous and still a bit upset with Jim for not being with me. I hated the idea of going to the reunion alone. Besides, one of the reasons I wanted to go in the first place was to show Jim off to my friends. Finally I got my nerve up and walked into the school.

The number of people I recognized right away surprised me and even more surprising was the number of them that recognized me. It turned out that I wasn't the only person there without my spouse. I was feeling much more comfortable as I chatted with my old friends.

I had been there about an hour when I heard a man's voice behind me say, "Hello Wendy."

I turned to find Dave Dickson smiling at me. I hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek and said that I was happy to see him. I asked him what he was doing at the reunion.

He said, "I got my sister to bring me as her guest. I had a lot of friends in this class I wanted to see."

He asked me to sit with him so we could talk. He told me that he thought I looked great and that he was hoping I might be at the reunion. Then he told me what he had been up to since college. He said that he had his own company and that he spent most of his free time working with the Red Cross developing disaster recover plans. I was really impressed with the man he had become. I would never have thought Dave to be the type to do volunteer work. I was proud of him.

We talked for quite a while then he asked me if I wanted to dance. We danced several dances and talk for a while longer and realized that the party was over. Dave offered to give me a ride back to my hotel and I accepted.

On the way to the hotel Dave asked, "Are you leaving tomorrow or will you be here another day?"

"I am staying till Tuesday Morning."

"Would you be available to have dinner with me tomorrow evening? I have enjoyed talking to you so much tonight that I would love to spend some more time with you."

I sensed that there was more to the dinner invitation than an evening of pleasant conversation but I wanted to talk to him some more and I knew I could control things with Dave after all I always had in the past. I said, "Dinner tomorrow would be lovely."

As I got out of the car at the hotel Dave said, I'll pick you up at seven o'clock."

Dave and I were dancing. We were the only people on the dance floor and I noticed that everyone else was staring at us. When I looked down I realized that I was naked and so was Dave. He was holding me close and his erect cock was pressing against my belly. I looked back at the people watching and began to recognize them. They were my high school classmates. They were all clapping and cheering for us.

I knew that I shouldn't be dancing naked with Dave so I tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't let go of me. He said, "Everyone here came to watch us make love so you can't leave until we do." We sank down to the floor and Dave began to rub his cock on my pussy. At that moment all I wanted was for Dave to put his cock in me but it wouldn't go in. I kept waiting to feel my labia separate and his cock fill my pussy, but nothing was happening. I reached out to pull Dave to me but there was nothing there. I opened my eyes to find that I was in bed alone in my hotel room. The dream was fresh in my mind and I was extremely horny so I had to satisfy myself off with my fingers. After my orgasm I went back to sleep.

All during the day Sunday I kept think about my dream. It had me slightly aroused all day. The more I thought about it the more I knew I should cancel my dinner date with Dave. Why had I accepted his invitation to dinner in the first place? I am a married woman and should not be going out with an old boyfriend under any circumstances. I knew all of the reasons why going out Dave was a bad idea but somehow I couldn't make myself call Dave and cancel.

Dave picked me up promptly at seven and we went to a nice restaurant for dinner. The meal was delicious and the conversation pleasant. After dinner we drove around looking at all of our old high school hangouts. I was very relaxed and comfortable and just chatting away when I suddenly realized that Dave had stopped in the high school parking lot. Even though I had an idea of what Dave was thinking I asked, "Why are we stopping here?"

Dave said, "I just wanted to sit and talk for a while. You know, I still miss you. I think about you all the time. I have always regretted that I let you get away. Did you know that you're the reason I never married? I never found anyone as good as you."

I was beginning to get a little uncomfortable. I figured when we stopped here that Dave might try and kiss me, which I figured I could handle but all this talk about how much I meant to him was more than I could deal with. I knew I should tell him to take me home right then.

Dave said, "Do you remember all the times we sat her in my car back when we were dating?"

I was trying to prepare myself for what was coming next when he pulled me to him and kissed me. I tried to pull away but he kissed me again. I don't know why but some of my old feelings for Dave started to surface. On the third kiss when I felt his tongue in my mouth I knew I had to do something to stop us from doing something I would regret.

I pulled away from Dave and said, "I have to call my husband." I figured that my saying husband would cool Dave off and give me a chance to get myself under control. I got out of the car and called Jim on my cell phone. I needed to talk to Jim. I knew that once I heard his voice I would be all right. Then Jim answered the phone and told me he couldn't talk to me right then and that he would have to call me back.

I was so angry at being brushed off like that and after Jim hung up I said to the phone, "Well, whatever happens now is your fault Jim."

I got back into the car and sat quietly thinking I should have Dave take me back to my hotel. Then Dave broke the silence by asking, "Do you want me to take you back to your hotel now?"

I think my answer surprised me as much as it did him. I said, "I'm not ready to go back to the hotel yet."

Dave said, "I'm glad." Dave turned on the radio and tuned it to the rock station we always listed to when we sat in his car in high school. Dave looked at me and said, "Remember this station? It brings back a lot of fond memories for me. Sitting here with you and listening to the music as we mad out."

Dave pulled me to him and kissed me again. Gradually our kisses became very passionate and when Dave started playing with my breasts I could feel that familiar feeling between my legs telling me I was ready for sex. I knew I should stop but I didn't want to. Dave had his hand on my knee and started moving it up my thigh and was just starting to slide under the hem of my skirt when my cell phone rang.

We both jumped a little and I grabbed Dave's hand and removed it from my leg. When I answered the phone Jim asked, "Where are you?"

"I'm in bed. I just turned the television off and was ready to go to sleep." As I started talking Dave put his hand back on my leg. I don't know why I didn't remove it.

Jim asked, "Why didn't you answer your room phone?"

"I never heard it ring."

"How was the reunion?"

"It has been great but can I tell you about it tomorrow. I'm really tired now. It's amazing how much everyone has changed yet stayed the same."

I was beginning to babble because Dave was moving his hand up under my skirt.

Jim said, "We can talk about it tomorrow. I'm glad that you're having a good time. Are you going to be able to come down here?"

Dave's hand had just moved past the top of my stockings and onto the bare skin on the inside of my upper thigh. I suddenly knew what I wanted and I spread my legs so that Dave could put his hand on my already hot pussy.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on keeping my breathing normal and said, "I guess that depends on you."

"What do you mean?"

"I'd really like to stay here another couple of days and come home on Thursday. Would you mind?"

At that point Dave slid his hand inside my panties and started to finger my pussy. I was getting so hot I was having difficulty talking.

Jim said, "If that's what you really want. I've had you to myself the last ten years; I guess I can let your friends have you for a few days."

I almost had to laugh. 'I guess I can let your friends have you for a few days.' If Jim only knew that one of my friends was about to have me as we spoke.

Jim continued, "You have fun with your friends and hopefully I will see you at home on Friday. I love you Bye."

When I said, "I love you too." I was trying to hold back my orgasm.

As I was turning my phone off Dave accidentally hit the car horn. I worried for a moment that Jim might have heard it but Dave's fingers soon had my full attention. I put my phone back into my purse and turned to face Dave. I saw that he had taken his cock out of his pants and he indicated that he wanted me to take it into my mouth. I was so horny at that point that I didn't hesitate I just bent down and took him into my mouth. While I was doing that I felt naughty and sexy and all I wanted to do at that moment was make Dave cum in my mouth. When he finally did climax I kept sucking until I had everything he had to give and then I released his cock. Dave handed me some tissues, which I spit my mouthful of semen into.

As I finished cleaning myself up Dave drove us back to his house. He was still living with his parents but they had a big house and Dave had his room in a private wing off the side of the main house. He took me to his bed and made love to me while I fantasized that I was still a virgin and was letting Dave take my cherry. I can't say that the sex was better than it is with Jim because it wasn't. But the excitement of living out my old fantasy and also the illicit nature of having extramarital sex added to the excitement.

In the morning I found Dave lying next to me with an erection so I climbed on top of him and took his cock inside me. I rode us both to orgasm then I went off to take a shower. When I came out of the shower Dave was on the bed stroking his cock, which was hard again. I asked, "You want to do it again?"

Dave said, "What I would really like is for you to suck my cock until I cum in your mouth."

I was surprised that Dave's dirty talk aroused me. I got on the bed and took his cock in my mouth and brought him to a satisfactory climax.

On the way back to the hotel Dave asked me if he could see me again and I said, "You can see me as often as you like until Thursday."

The next two nights I spent with Dave in his room then Wednesday night Dave stayed in my hotel room with me. Dave drove me to the airport in the morning. I knew that it might have been a mistake but as we were saying goodbye I gave Dave my e-mail address so we could stay in touch. Each night when I talked to Jim on the phone Dave was with me and he usually had his hand inside my panties.

On Thursday when I was flying back to Atlanta I thought about everything that had happened over those few days and was confused about my feelings for Dave. I didn't think I was in love with him, but if I wasn't why did I spend so much time making love to him. I was afraid Dave might be in love with me and think that I was in love with him. And if I wasn't in love with Dave, what did my behavior say about me?

I got home early Thursday afternoon and spent the rest of the day trying to come to terms with my behavior. I had cheated on my husband, a behavior I didn't tolerate from others. How could I have done something so immoral? I told myself it was the circumstances. I was away from home and alone for the first time since I got married. I was upset that Jim went to Jacksonville instead of coming with me. I unexpectedly found myself in the company of my old boyfriend, the man I had fantasized about having sex with for more than two years before I met Jim.