Chapter 6: Carnal Commiseration

Sherry wasn't listening to her father's sermon. She'd never listen to his sermons ever again. Not after what she'd seen. He was a hypocrite.

This morning she had gone to her father's office looking for some reference material for the Sunday School class she was to teach after the sermon was done. She hadn't been prying but, in a desk drawer, she noticed the corner of a photo peeking out from a file folder and, idly curious, she had looked in the folder.

At first Sherry thought she'd found a cache of dirty pictures that her father had confiscated from some boy. Then came the sickening realization that she knew the women in the pictures. Some were close friends of her mother and all were members of the congregation, women who came to church every Sunday and to Prayer Meetings. Some taught Sunday School.

Feeling guilty, she examined the photos more closely. She'd never seen anything like them in her sheltered life. If she'd just stuffed them back in the folder she would have avoided the most sickening shock, but she kept looking at the lewd scenes. It was the same man in each picture, she concluded, even though his face was never shown. And then she saw the little scar on the man's thigh. Oh no! The man was her father. She was sure of it.

Now, as her father waved his arms and preached, extolling the values of family and Christian morality, Sherry looked around. There was Deacon Carter's wife looking prim and proper, and the young girl almost chuckled as she compared the woman's prissily pursed lips with the photographic image of those same lips stretched around the man's huge penis. Did all men have penises like that? Then there was Mrs. Wilkins who always had a sultry, sexy look about her though not as sexy as when she was astride the minister. Even Mrs. Jackson, the church soloist was in the pictures, her thick lips enveloping the stout pole. That was ironic. Sherry remembered her father's dismay when the African American family joined the congregation. "Why didn't they go to a church with their own kind', he had said at the dinner table. 'I know they have equal rights and all that but they don't belong here'.

Despite her shock and considerable anger Sherry did not feel as betrayed as her friend Julie had felt. Perhaps she had inherited her father's inflated libido because, after the shock wore off, she had been sexually aroused. Even now, sitting in church, she could feel the moistness between her legs and she felt swollen there, too.

Sherry's co-teacher in Sunday School was Jimmy Jackson, the son of the church soloist. As they went through their paces, instructing a group of ten year olds, the minister's daughter wondered what Jimmy would think if he saw the pictures of his mother with her father. She wouldn't tell him, though. He was a nice guy, in the same class as she at school, and kind of cute. He was also very shy and very black. Would he be big like her father? The girls said that black guys always had big cocks. And now Sherry didn't feel guilty abut thinking the bad words. Not after what her father had done.

"We need to have a heart to heart talk, Julie."

"Yeah, OK Joan. Here in my room or downstairs?" Julie had skipped church. She couldn't bear to listen to her hypocritical minister and she'd stayed in he room, sick from the things she'd seen in the past week.

"Here in your room is fine, dear. Aren't you feeling well? You didn't come to church with us and Reverend Gibson preached an excellent sermon."

"No, I'm OK Joan." Did he preach about adultery? I should ask her.

"Look Julie, I know you think Tom is a special guy but he's not for you. You're too young to get serious about a boy and when you do you can find someone a lot better than Tom. You understand, don't you?"

"If you say so, Sis." But you seemed to think he was OK when you seduced him. "So what do you want me to do? Do you want to pick out my boyfriends? And then screw them. Julie was biting her tongue to avoid telling her sister what she'd seen. She'd get even, somehow.

"No, not that Julie. I just don't want you to get trapped like Jennifer did. And because of that I had to settle for being just a schoolteacher. You can go much farther."

"But teaching is a good job. And you have Tom. He's a wonderful man." And you don't deserve him. I'd marry him in a New York minute but she wouldn't think he's good enough either.

"Yes, Tom is wonderful. But he's just a schoolteacher. Too. Not even a High School teacher. You can do better. But you have to save yourself. You know? The best men... the ones with the most money don't want used goods. Please Julie, for me, wait until you're married?"

"Yeah... I'll try, Joan." How would she feel if she caught me making love to Tom? "Do you trust Tom?"

"Oh yes. Of course I do. He's a strong, faithful husband. I couldn't ask for more... except... but it's too late for..." And Joan's voice faded with the incomplete statement. Why was Julie asking? Had Tom made a play for he? No. Not Tom. He was a trustworthy, monogamous man. But the thought nagged at her. Surely he wouldn't?

It was late on Sunday afternoon when Julie called.

"Hi Sherry. Would you like to... like... go for a coke or something? Does your Dad let you go out on Sunday?"

"Sure Julie. No problem. I'll meet you at Stringer's." Stringer's was the quiet place they went when they wanted to exchange confidences and, even though her father didn't approve of her going there on Sunday, Sherry now didn't care much what he thought.

What did Julie want to talk about? She'd sounded unhappy. Should I tell her about the photos? Maybe, but I won't tell her that her sister is in one of them.

"Oh Sherry, I've had just an awful week. It's been terrible." Julie's eyes filled with tears but there was relief, too. At least she had someone she could trust that she could talk to. Of course she couldn't tell Sherry everything. Not about her father. She'd pretend she didn't know who the man was.

"But why, Julie?" The younger girl took Julie's hands in hers and leaned closer across the table in the little secluded booth where they sat. "Did you have a fight with Tom?"

"Worse than that, Sherry. I... like... I used my hand for him again but... but we left the condom wrapper in the living room and Joan found it."

"She must've really given you heck about that? Was it real bad? Did she believe you only gave him a handjob? In spite of her friend's avowals that she didn't go all the way, Sherry had doubts. She, herself, would have.

"I... I think so. But it's worse than that. She... like... she made him do it to her. Everything. She even... she even let him do it in her mouth. It was ghastly. I never saw anything so horrible." Julie's eyes filled with tears as she told her friend about it.

"But you didn't actually see them, did you?" The cute, thirteen year old leaned closer to her friend, her eyes flashing with excitement.

"I saw everything? All of it. I was standing right next to them."

"But? Like? How? Did they know you were watching?"

"No, of course not. There's... like... in Sis's bedroom... the wall... it's a mirror only from the other side you can see right through it."

"You mean, form your bedroom? You can see in from there?"

"No... there's a little place between our bedrooms. I found a little door to get in and it's just like I'm right there."

"Wow! Fab! I wish I could've watched." Then, realizing she was being thoughtless, the younger girl added, "I don't mean that. It must have been awful for you. I'm so sorry."

"But that's not all. Next day she did it with a man I don't know. Not everything. Not with her mouth. She's awful, Sherry. And Don is so nice. I feel bad for him, too.

"Oh Julie... she's such a bitch! My day has been pretty bad, too, but not near as bad as your week. But it's sort of like the same stuff as you've been going through."

"I'm sorry, Sherry... I got so caught up in my own thing that I forgot about everyone else. Tell me what happened." Julie was sure that, whatever it was, it couldn't be as bad as what she'd gone through but she wanted to listen, anyway.

"I guess my problem isn't as bad as yours, Julie. But it makes me mad. I found some pictures in Dad's desk. Awful pictures."

"Oh? Like, how were they awful?"

"They were pictures of women without any clothes on... and they're... like... sitting on top of this guy. You know?"

"You mean? Like? They're doing it? Having sex?"

"Yeah... they're fucking." Sherry liked to shock her friend by using dirty words but she'd never before had such a good opportunity. "And there's pictures of some of the women sucking his cock. Just like your sister sucked Tom."