Chapter 2

As soon as the first bright rays of the morning sun came streaming in the window, Pam's eyes flew open. Only half awake, it took the young blonde several seconds to remember where she was.

Oh... our new house! She stared at the unfamiliar ceiling, and then over at the windows. Those curtains will have to go, she thought disapprovingly. Knowing there was a lot of work to do and an exciting day ahead, she wanted to bound out of bed and get started moving, but Jack was still asleep and she know he would awaken if she got up. Let him sleep, she thought. He works so hard!

Pam looked over at her sleeping husband, admiring his dark handsomeness. He was lying on his back, mouth slightly open, looking uncharacteristically young and defenseless. Just like a little boy, Pam thought, and remembered when he used to look that way almost all the time, when they were still both in school.

Things had changed a lot since then. They had been married just a little more than a year, and already Pam had trouble recognizing her husband. It's the job, she thought. The job is doing it to him. But the job was what they had dreamed about while they were still undergraduates--a job with a big company where Jack would have a chance to work his way up and earn them the good life they both looked forward to. And it had gone even better than they planned. Jack rose fast, until he was the youngest assistant vice-president the company had ever had, and now, at twenty-six, he promised to be the youngest vice-president, if he got the promotion. If Jack got it and not Harry Steers.

But Jack had a way with the boss. Pam knew Jack would eventually get the promotion, and at first the knowledge had thrilled her. But then she had met the Boss, J.B., as he liked to be called, and she had seen the way Jack acted in his presence, and she hadn't liked it at all. It wouldn't be right to say Jack fawned on the man--he was too correct for that--but there was an undoubted air of subservience in his manner. "For Christ's sake, how do you expect me to act?" had been Jack's response the one time she had voiced her feelings to him. "He's the boss!" And she had never mentioned it again.

But Jack had changed. As he sank himself more and more totally into his work, always striving for promotion, making every act and word count in that direction, he correspondingly withdrew something of himself from Pam. He was moody and absent-minded at home, going over and over in his mind the day's events at the office, wondering if he had made any mistakes, wondering if he had done all he could to make himself noticed by J.B. He was short- tempered with Pam, irritated when she broke in on his thoughts, and when she complained about his distant manner, he looked at her in amazement. "How can you say that?" he demanded. "I'm doing it for our future!

And then there was that other problem, Pam thought, her mood darkening as she lay in bed thinking. I should getup, she thought. I mustn't let myself get depressed again. But the thoughts kept coming, floating up from deeper and deeper levels. Yes, Jack's preoccupation with work was a problem between them but there was another, more serious one.

Sex!

Pam twisted uncomfortably in the big bed, tortured by conflicting emotions, trying to sort out her confused thoughts. Her mind drifted back into her past, remembering. She remembered how she, at nineteen, totally inexperienced, the result of an overprotected, over-religious upbringing, had been confronted with the handsome young Jack Hollister. How excited she had been. Compared to her and to her boring friends, Jack had seemed the embodiment of wordly wisdom--good looking, sophisticated, witty, and with an enchanting aura of something slightly wicked about him. Jack had obviously been around.

Longing to escape from her strict upbringing, the young Pam had been irresistibly drawn to Jack. He invited her out, and on their first date had shocked her by boldly slipping his hand inside her dress and caressing her naked breast. At first the innocent young girl had been too shocked to resist, letting him massage her virgin nipple just long enough for her to realize how good it felt. She had made him stop, of course, and promised herself she would never go out with him again. But she did!

Between their first and second dates, Pam had several days to think over her attitudes. She had already been at school long enough to realize that most of the values her parents had taught her were impossibly narrow, more the result of the bitter aridity of their souls than of any genuine moral conviction. Now Pam began to wonder about sex and about the incredible importance her parents had placed on virginity. Dutifully, ever since puberty, Pam had scrupulously protected her virginity, holding her blossoming young body inviolate from the inevitable pawings of the few young boys her parents had permitted her to go out with. That hadn't been too hard, thanks to their clumsiness, and even in her first days in college she had been able to resist temptation, even though she herself was beginning to have to admit the existence of strange longings high up between her firm young thighs.

It happened very quickly. After her experience with Jack, and remembering the annoyance in his eyes when she had primly made him stop touching her breast, Pam decided to stop being a virgin. It was an easy decision to implement. A group of young sailors from a nearby naval base were on campus one night, prowling for girls, and Pam singled one out as the man she was going to seduce- --as the instrument for ridding herself of the virginity she now suddenly considered an impediment.

It hurt. Pam had been ready for a little pain but not for as much as she experienced, as she lay rigid beneath the madly fucking young sailor. He was more frightened than she was. Hoping to seduce one of the lovely young girls that filled the campus, the inexperienced boy could hardly believe his luck when Pam, easily the most beautiful girl he'd ever met, picked him up. When he suggested they go for a walk, she instead invited him to her room. And when he placed a hesitant hand on her shapely young thigh, without another word she had stood up and undressed, baring her lovely, firm roses and ivory; body to his stunned gaze. He'd been so nervous that he was almost unable to get an erection, but nature had its way and soon he was clambering over Pam as she lay on her back waiting impatiently for her great experience.

It had miscarried. Certain that he was with a real pro, the young sailor did nothing to prepare Pam, and when he rammed his iron-hard cock into her unused vagina, Pam thought she was going to die. Clenching her teeth, afraid that the girls in the next room would hear if she made a sound, she had to lie there and bear it. When is he going to be finished? she kept asking herself. When is he going to be finished?

When it was over, and the sailor had departed, feeling slightly used, leaving a silent, guilty Pam behind on the blood- stained bed, she had vowed it would never happen again. Her parents had been right, and God had punished her. Never, never again.

But that didn't last long. She began to go out with Jack on a regular basis, and realizing she had already made the irrevocable step, Pam let nature take its course. Her body slowly learned to not only respond to Jack's caresses but to need them. They started slowly, with Jack at first only gently touching her breasts, filling her with gentle sensations of warmth and excitement as he tenderly stroked their billowy softness. Jack took his time, sensing he had a prize in Pam and willing to invest some effort, which was pretty much how he saw the world--good investments and bad investments. He was seeing another girl, too, one less scrupulous than Pam, and many nights, frustrated from hours of holding himself back with Pam, he would fuck the other girl until she begged for mercy. In his view, cunt was easy to get, especially with his looks, but there were few girls around with the beauty and good breeding of Pam Adamson. He was determined to marry her.

Finally, one night--Pam never quite knew how it happened Jack had taken all her clothes off and she lay naked on the grass behind the dormitories, shivering slightly in the cool breeze but her blood on fire from Jack's expert touch. For the first time she made no objection as his hands slid lower on her nude body. His lips on her nipples kept her from formulating any defense, and before she knew it, his finger was working insistently into her boiling hot pussy slit and then was in her vagina. Instinctively flinching, expecting the same blinding pain as when the sailor had broken her hymen, Pam was instead suddenly invaded by an incredible wave of white-hot pleasure. After weeks of building passion, she came almost instantly and, to both her surprise and Jack's, began to ride his finger like a bucking horse. Her body shuddered and twitched, lost in ecstasy and from that night on she never again had the will-power to stop her lover from slipping his marvelous finger up into her rapidly learning cunt.

Jack never told her how surprised he was to find she wasn't a virgin. He kept it to himself, though it galled him a bit. After all the trouble she'd given him, he'd at least expected to be the first to pop her cherry. But deciding to make the most of it, Jack quite efficiently set about the rest of Pam's seduction. Within another couple of nights they were genuine lovers, and Pam thrilled to the feel of Jack's lean, sinewy body weighing hers down while his hard cock slid pleasurably in and out of her eagerly welcoming vagina. They made love constantly after that, and Pam began to develop an eager sexual capacity. But her response was shadowed by an odd constraint that was particularly frustrating to Jack. Perhaps remembering her parents' warning of the evils of sexual license, Pam always held herself back, never again permitting herself the full abandon of that first unexpected orgasm when Jack had suddenly slipped his finger up inside her hungry vagina. She made love with her eyes closed, holding still, letting it all happen inside, even her orgasms, which seemed to blossom somewhere far up in her belly like the fire-ball from an atomic explosion.

Jack was irritated by Pam's apparent lack of response, and by her refusal to permit him to make any sexual innovations in the way they made love--missionary style, she on her back beneath him, her arms at her sides, or once in a while locked lovingly around his neck. He hoped that after they were married she would loosen up, but she never did, and as time went on, he began to complain bitterly. Pam was hurt, and did her best to comply with his wishes, but she just couldn't, disgusted by the things he wanted her to do. Pam never had a full understanding of her inhibitions, but somewhere in the back of her mind she made a connection between her unforgivable act with the young sailor and the terrible pain that had been her immediate punishment. Despite her apparent lack of religious conviction, a hellfire and damnation view of the cosmos had been firmly installed in Pam's psyche by the twisted teachings of her parents.

Deprived of full satisfaction at home, Jack had more and more turned to his work, which wasn't hard for him. Ever since he was a young boy, he had been oriented toward success. He would have probably cooled toward Pam, anyway, genuinely interested only in furthering his own ambitions, but their sexual troubles gave him a handy excuse. Pam sensed this, but since there seemed to be nothing she could do to change matters, she tried to blank the whole thing out of her mind. That was one reason this new house meant so much to her--both something for her to bury her energies in and a justification for Jack's insatiable desire to get ahead.

But there were reminders--like the obvious way Jack had been staring at Anna Collins the night before. It wasn't hard to understand. Anna had an earthy animal sexuality that even Pam could appreciate. She felt no resentment toward Anna--it was hardly her fault that Jack was a dissatisfied husband. Pam even liked the other woman, sensing in her a deep warmth to match her natural magnetism. She remembered the way Anna had impulsively given her a hug the previous night. Pam knew she needed a woman friend, one who might be able to teach her to be more of a woman herself.

The alarm suddenly went off, shattering Pam's mood. Jack groaned and turned over in bed, slowly opening his eyes and blinking at the morning light. He peered sleepily at the clock.

"Christ!" he mumbled. "What the hell's the damn thing doing going off at six-thirty?"

"I set it a half-hour early," Pam said quickly. "I thought it would give us a little more time together the first morning in our new house."

"Oh," Jack mumbled. "Guess you're right. May need a little more time to get going in a strange place." Doing his best to wake up, he looked over at his wife. She was half-sitting up in bed and the sheet had slipped down her body, baring her naked breasts. Automatically he reached out to trace his hand over their resilient loveliness. He felt her shiver in response. She always did like me to touch her tits, he thought to himself, even if she's too uptight for much else. He remembered how he'd wanted to make love the night before, turned on by watching Anna's ass move underneath her dress. His blood began to heat as he remembered how Anna had made him feel, and his hand closed convulsively on his wife's breast.

"Owww... you're hurting me," Pam protested, bringing Jack back to the present. He looked at Pam again and realized that his cock was getting hard.

"C'm'ere," he growled, and throwing back the sleet, drew her to him. Pam started to stiffen, still too full of the morning's heavy thoughts for love-making, but immediately reminded herself that she was only making things worse between her and Jack by her continued coolness. She made herself relax as his lips closed around her nipple and was rewarded by an instant trickle of pleasure.

How long since we've made love? she asked herself. Over a week. She lay back and let out a small sigh as Jack's mouth continued to move over her slowly responding breasts.

Anna had been wrong when she guessed that Pam was frigid. Pam loved sex, and wanted it frequently. The trouble was, Jack always wanted to go too far for her, and when she resisted his demands, the whole thing became a grim experience. Now, she let her eyes close dreamily and lay still on her back, letting him kindle her desire. A palpitating warmth spread downward from her nipples, heating up her belly and making her vagina tingle. She quivered when she sensed her husband's hand on her stomach, sliding lower, softly stroking her sensitive skin. She let him open her legs with his hands, beginning to breathe faster when he ran his fingertips up the insides of her now-trembling thighs, gasping when he made the first tentative contact with her eagerly waiting pussy. She had to clamp her teeth down hard on her lip to keep from moaning as she felt the familiar ecstasy of Jack's hard groping finger slithering up into her tender vagina. Oh, it feels so wonderful, she thought with awe. Why can't it he this way always? Her thighs felt hot and wet as she sensed her inner secretions pumped from her cunt by Jack's insistently digging finger. Dreamily, Pam let her thighs fall further open as she felt Jack's body rise up over hers. She knew he was about to fuck her.

Looking down at his beautiful blonde wife, Jack temporarily forgot all about Anna Collins. Lying there naked, her eyes closed and her blonde hair streaming across the pillow in a swirl of gold, her full, pink tipped breasts rising and falling rapidly from her heavy breathing, her satiny skin giving sensuously beneath his exploring fingers, he could think of nothing else. The hot musky smell of her aroused pussy filled his nostrils, and looking down, he saw that her blonde pussy curls were darkening as her ready secretions bubbled from up inside her vagina. He withdrew his finger from her pussy-hole, gleaming with cunt- juices. He slid the slippery digit up and down her heated pink slit, pressing hard on her tiny, half-hidden clitoris, wanting to make her jump.

Why doesn't she react? he thought for the hundredth time. Hell, most women, if he did to them what he was doing to his wife, would come half off the bed. But she lay there, eyes tightly closed, controlling herself, the only evidence of her arousal, the deep flush on her lovely face and her telltale breathing.

Why doesn't she just let it out; he thought. Oh, hell, we can't prosy for miracles, and not wasting any more of his valuable time, Jack seized his hard, ready cock in one hand and scrambled between his wife's sleek, wide-spread thighs. He worked the swollen tip up an inch or two into Pam's tight vaginal opening and then, when he sensed the first part of the shaft was wet enough, slowly slid it the rest of the way up inside. As her hot slick tunnel closed around his throbbing penis, Jack couldn't help moaning. Well, one of as Is getting something out of this, he thought bitterly.

What he couldn't know is that, deep inside her body, Pam was experiencing a full range of sexual delight--right up to the point where it threatened to snap her iron control, and then she would clamp down, holding her reaction inside where it was safe. Behind her closed eyes she was in a dream-world of sensual ecstasy, her whole body thrilling to every movement of Jack's rigid cock inside her eagerly accepting cunt. A vague fear that if she let her tremendous inner response show on the outside, she would somehow be punished for it constantly, Pam held back from acceptance of the full possibilities of sex. She had orgasms, quiet orgasms that happened somewhere inside herself, in a vaguely defined area near her genitals, but it was a private thing that she kept to herself, afraid to let it show in the fear that it might be taken away from her. One was building now, a growing pressure that she knew how to defuse, so that instead of exploding the way it had done that first time when Jack had thrust his finger into her unexpecting vagina so long before, it would wash over her nerve ends in a controlled wave of pleasure. The closer to orgasm she got, the stiller her body became on the outside.

Raising himself up on stiffened arms, Jack stared down at his lovely wife. Christ, what's happening? he thought as she grew completely still beneath him. Did I do something to turn her off? Redoubling his efforts, he watched his long thick cock flashing in and out of Pam's cunt, moving the soft flesh with each hard stroke, wet and glistening with her hot inner juices, her soaked blonde pubic tendrils clinging wetly to the gleaming white shaft. I feel like I'm doing this all by myself, he thought bitterly.

An innate desire for power, the same force that drove him at work, made Jack want to force a reaction from his wife. He stared again at where his cock was burying itself rhythmically and, apparently, unavailingly in Pam's seemingly unresponsive cunt. Only her copiously flowing cuntal juices gave evidence that her body knew that he was there at all. Desperate, Jack suddenly tore his cock from Pam's vagina, and glared down at her sex-slippery loins.

Christ, she s so beautiful! he thought, his gaze lingering over her softly curved hips and thighs. He ran one hand lovingly over her fleshy outer pussy lips, slipping the edge of it inside the hot wet valley between, opening her inner depths to his gaze. He saw at once that Pam's normally button-like clitoris had swollen larger during their love-making and now stood up tremblingly, like a miniature penis.

I know what the hell she needs! Jack thought excitedly, and without any more hesitation he bent forward and buried his head between his wife's obediently open thighs, taking her erect clitoris between his lips and sucking hard on its tiny sensitive shaft.

There was one long moment when Pam made no response at all. She was far away, letting her husband's gratifyingly hard penis bring her closer and closer to inner orgasmic release. She was trembling on the edge, about to let herself drift away on a tide of inner bliss, when she felt Jack unaccountably jerk his cock out of her vagina She waited, confused, and then felt his hand probing uncomfortably hard at her genitals. Holding her breath, not wanting to break her mood of inner ecstasy, Pam said nothing, but a moment later she felt his bristly cheeks against the inside of her sensitive thighs and then something hot and wet was moving over her sex organs.

My God, he was licking and slavering at her genitals like an animal!

With a feeling of sudden revulsion, Pam reached down and tried to pry her husband's head from between her shuddering thighs.

"Stop it!" she shrieked in horror. "Oh, God, Jack... don't!" She wrapped her fingers in his dark hair and tried to tug his head free, at the same time struggling to close her straining thighs.

Jack looked up in surprise. At first he had thought that Pam had accepted his new and bold advance when she made no immediate response. True, he'd never before gotten away with anything like this with her, but there was always a first time. Maybe she was growing up. When she began to struggle and cry out he thought she was reacting in passion and felt that he had at last unlocked the key to her sexuality. But quickly enough he realized she was begging him to stop, and her painful tugging at his hair left him little choice.

"What the fuck's the matter with you?" he spluttered, his face glistening obscenely with her cunt-juices. Pam's eyes were wide and filled with horror.

"Oh, Jack... How could you do such a horrible thing?" she managed to gasp.

"What do you mean horrible thing?" he demanded angrily. "Most girls would love to have their cunts eaten."

"I-It's disgusting!" Pam said with a shudder. "I-I think I'm going to be sick."

"Sick?" Jack said with sudden rage, humiliated by Pam's unexpected response. "You think you're going to be sick? Shit... I'm the one who should be sick... from the dead way you make love. It's like making love to a corpse... Sometimes I feel like I'm jacking off..." Insults that had been festering in him for months began to bubble up from his guts and he had to make a conscious effort to stop himself, knowing he was going too far. The stricken look on Pam's face quickly sobered him, and he fell silent, but he knew both he and Pam were far past the point of no return. He had said things to her that no woman could for give. He felt an overwhelming urge to get out of the bedroom and out of their goddamn new dream-house. He wanted to go to the office and to its endless conspiracies and counter-conspiracies, a world he knew much better than this hopeless attempt to understand his beautiful but fucked-up wife.

With a smothered curse he rolled off the bed and stalked into the bathroom. He barely took time to wash and shave, and when he came back into the bedroom, Pam was still lying where he had left her, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Thank God there are no tears, he told himself, but sensed it might have been less ominous if there were. Pam still hadn't moved when he finally strode from the room and left the house.

As soon as she heard the front door slam, Pam began to cry. She lay there for a half-hour, the tears streaming down her grief- distorted face. The open break had finally come, the one she had dreaded, and now their sexual differences lay out in the open, no longer a silent wall of misunderstanding, but naked and threatening, like an unexploded artillery shell.

Well, maybe Its better, she thought. Now at least we have something concrete to deal with. As she remembered what had happened, Pam began to get angry.

So he thinks I'm a corpse, she thought bitterly. Just because I don't want to make love the same way he does! With a shudder she thought back to what he hat tried to do to her. Ugh! Filthy! Revolting! Disgusting! she thought in revulsion. She knew that what he wanted was wrong... depraved... and how could he insist that she join him in such a disgusting act? She remembered how she had looked up in horror to find his head buried between her thighs and the horrible sounds as he licked and sucked at her violated genitals. And he'd had the gall to shout at her when he was the one who should have been ashamed!

Well, she'd show him! There would be no more sex from her until he begged her pardon!

Pam buried her deeper misgivings under this new resolve, but almost immediately a practical problem arose. What about herself? Wouldn't she be punishing herself, too, if she refused to make love? Despite the limitations on her outward sexual reactions, Pam had grown to love it. Since a year before their marriage, she and Jack had been making love regularly, although it had begun to happen less and less frequently in the last few months. This morning she had been really horny, she admitted to herself, and she was even hornier now, since Jack had cheated her of her orgasm with his disgusting behavior.

"I'll do it myself!" she said aloud with sudden resolution, and then stood, shocked by her own daring. Could she do it? Could she... masturbate? The word frightened her. Wasn't it as bad as what Jack had tried to do to her this morning? Well, maybe not, she thought. After all, Jack puts his finger in me all the time. It's certainly better than... and she shuddered as she thought of someone putting his mouth to a wet, hairy, quivering cunt.

And I can control it myself, Pam continued to think excitedly. I won't expect any more than I have to give! With these last thoughts Pam cut off the debate. She had made up her mind and she would stick by it!

Well, where do we start? she asked herself, and looked apprehensively down to where her tufted blonde pubic hair peeked out from between her thighs. Timidly she reached down with one hand and ran her finger the length of her vaginal slit. She felt an instant spasm of answering pleasure, but at the same time became aware that her pussy was still wet and slippery, not only with her own slick lubricants but also with Jack's saliva.

"Ugh," she said to herself and decided the first thing she would do was take a bath. Half-prude, half-libertine, the young housewife slid out of bed and headed for the bathroom. When she saw her husband's shaving equipment spread haphazardly over the sink where he had left it in his haste, she had to stifle a sob. But she vowed to go ahead with her plan, being far too young and headstrong to make the attempt to meet Jack half-way. She knew that she was right in her belief that certain kinds of sex were inexcusably wrong and there was no way she could coerce her mind into accepting them. She would persevere.

Pam ran a tub full of water, carefully keeping her mind away from what had happened this morning and what she intended to do. As soon as she got out of the bath she would... There were no clear pictures in her mind of how one masturbated, but she would learn, and... a look of hope came over her face.

Maybe she could teach herself to be more like Jack wanted. Less like a corpse.

Now that she had removed her aims further from the dangerous realms of self-gratification, the young blonde felt more at ease with her earlier decision. Yes, she would teach herself, learn to be less inhibited. Maybe by herself, with no one else involved, it would be easier.

Slipping into the water, Pam gratefully lay back and relaxed. How good the water feels, she thought. How sensuous. Letting the water lull her tensions, Pam gradually made herself become aware of her body. Her skin was warm, all except the tips of her breasts which jutted up above the water's surface. Without thinking, she blew on her nipples and the little pink buds instantly began to harden under the rush of cool air.

"Mmmm," Pam sighed and shivered with delight. Instantly her hands reached up and began to stroke her own breasts, paying particular attention to the quiveringly erect nipples, tweaking and rolling their pink hardness between her thumbs and forefingers. Pam found her eyes closing automatically and forced them back open, so she could see herself touching her own body. Totally absorbed in what she was doing, she forgot to be self- conscious, and found that watching what was happening added to her excitement.

As she stroked her breasts, her legs began to move in sympathy, writhing slowly under the water as the dreamy eyed young girl rubbed delight into her passionately swelling twin mounds. Slightly out of breath now, Pam began to rub her thighs together, trying to put pressure on her hidden pussy. But she kept slipping further down in the tub, and had to take her hands from her breasts to prop herself back up again.

Shall I do it now? she asked herself breathlessly. One hand was under the water, trailing undecidedly over her water-slippery thigh, only inches away from where her cunt wavered and shimmered through the shifting water.

With a groan of decision, Pam lay back in the tub, her head propped up on the edge. Parting her long, graceful legs, she eagerly ran one hand down the silky inside of one thigh until it was groping at the edge of her pussy. Holding her breath, Pam gently inserted the tip of one finger up into her waiting hungry slit and sought out her tiny clitoral button. She pressed hard.