Chapter 24: Departure

Sarah attended the sermon the following night. Brady spoke of loyalty and shelter and justice, his words echoing fervently across the congregation. Ivan glared at Sarah suspiciously. Sarah could sense disquiet amongst the women, Rebecca conspicuously absent. After Brady finished the sermon, Lawrence passed through the parishioners distributing the white pills. Sarah tucked hers under her tongue, pretended to swallow, and Lawrence moved on to Uma and Hua to her right. As soon as he turned his back, she clandestinely plucked the pill from her mouth and ground it into the dirt at her feet.

Three days. The clock began to tick.

She glanced over at Brady lying under the pine. Patricia straddled him, his hands on her breasts, moaning passionately. To her right, Uma and Hua embraced, kissing amongst the pine needles. Stephanie knelt at Ivan’s feet, bobbing her head at his groin. At least Ivan was no longer staring at Sarah.

Her body still wanted sex, especially with all the sexual activity about her, but without the S boost, she managed to push the desires from the forefront of her mind. Slowly, she rose to her feet and turned away from Brady and the rest. She walked aimlessly away from the fire, passing silently by the Boxes. She desperately wanted to visit Rebecca, to tell her that she’d stopped taking the S, even if Rebecca would tell her that was insane. Suicidal. She wasn’t certain if anyone was watching, so she kept walking, eventually arriving at the bunkhouse. Absently, she disrobed at the door, and left her clothing as usual.

She settled into her bunk in the empty dormitory and fell immediately into sleep.

Three days.

From the hilltop where she’d once sat with Rebecca flipping through her sketchbook, Sarah watched the increased activity about the storage room where she’d been handcuffed to the post. Her mind was clearing with each passing hour. Brady, John, Lawrence and Ivan all scurried about the storage building, moving supplies from the shelves to the white utility van parked near the door. It was difficult to determine exactly what they were moving, but she presumed it pertained to the mysterious mission, for which she had been spared The Box. Rebecca remained in The Box alone, going on day two.

She watched for a time, disquiet brimming within her clearing mind.

Eventually, she pushed herself to her feet and returned to working the fields with Uma and Hua.

This time, Sarah simply kept the S under her tongue until she walked away from the fire. It was becoming much more difficult to mute the insistent sexy voice in her head: swallow it, you’ll feel so much better. Angrily, she shook her head. It was the same voice from her teens that insisted vodka would dull the sensations of being raped nightly. It was the same voice that insisted that the bitter pain of a sharp blade against her thigh would allow her to forget. That voice, while emphatic and incessant, wasn’t necessarily right. Of course, the night at the beach bonfire changed all that, muted the voice forever. Silenced it, that is, until now.

Her mind wandered to Geeky Phil. She missed his puppy dog presence. He’d had a crush on her, she was certain; she’d never encouraged it, but she never dashed it either. His words on that day sitting in the busy corridor returned: The right path is rarely the easy path.

She halted, the moon shining down upon her, the smell of acrid woodsmoke and fresh dirt drifting through the warm evening air. She spit the bitter pill from under her tongue into her palm. She stared it at for a long time. Like the dwarf from her dream, the pill radiated evil and projected a Siren song enticing her.

The clock ticked.

In one fluid motion, she threw the pill towards the empty corn fields. She didn’t hear it fall back to the earth. She hoped the corn would be happier than she was.

With a sigh, she continued back to the bunkhouse alone. The fog continued to lift from her mind with every soft footfall.

The right path is rarely the easy path.

She missed Geeky Phil. She hoped he was choosing the right path, wherever he was.

She removed her clothes, wondering what Geeky Phil would think of her slipping under the sheet naked to sleep in the middle of the commune. Typical male hormone reaction? Perhaps not, in his case. He’d probably be concerned for her.

It had been a full two days since her last S. There were no signs, yet, of withdrawal, but she was nearly certain they were coming. Don’t think about that.

She cleared her mind, ignored her body’s now innate desire for sex, and willed herself to sleep before the others returned from the fire.