“So, Traci ... do you mind if I call you Traci?” Dr. Karen asked and then without waiting for an answer continued her question. “So, Traci, what is it that you are hoping to get out of these sessions?”

Based on her initial video consultation she knew generally what the issues were in the Briley’s marriage but she wanted Traci to articulate what her goals and objectives were. Making sure that all parties were on the same page was a necessary first step in marriage counseling.

This was her first session with the Briley’s; Traci and Jack. Although she had spoken with Traci on a Zoom call, this was her first time seeing Traci’s husband. Jack Briley stood a couple of inches over six-feet and was lean, with the body of a runner rather than someone who spent hours in the gym bulking up. Clean shaven with thick blond hair worn a little long on his collar.

Traci Briley was shorter at maybe five-five or -six and Karen guessed her weight to be in the one-hundred-twenty-five-pound range. She too, had blonde hair which today was being worn in a pony-tail that ended between her shoulder blades. Medium sized breasts and fantastic legs that were shown off by the black pencil skirt and heels that. The tanned legs were the legs of an athlete. Muscular calves that her four-inch heels showed off to nice effect.

“My husband has become controlling and emotionally abusive. He is constantly trying to violate my right to privacy. Jack has become insanely jealous and his controlling and manipulative behavior has gotten out of hand. My goal in marriage counseling is to assure Jack that he has nothing to worry about and that his controlling behavior needs to end.”

Karen watched Jack’s face as his wife described the problem from her point of view. His face was expressionless and almost detached as his wife spoke. Karen could very easily see him being a controlling asshole.

“Thank you, Traci. Jack, let’s build on what Traci said. Tell me, what do you see as the problem in your marriage?”

Jack Briley locked eyes with Karen and then turned his eyes to watch his wife. He then spoke with a flat, unemotional tone, “My wife is having an emotional affair with her supervisor. I want her to quit her job and never have contact with him again.”

Traci rolled her eyes in disgust. “You see what I’m talking about? I get this same nonsense day in and day out and I. Am. Sick. Of. It.” Traci spat out the last part in a mix of anger and frustration.

Karen swiveled towards Jack, “That’s a very inflammatory accusation, Jack. I do have a couple of questions for you; why do you consider her relationship with her supervisor to be an affair and what evidence do you have?”

Jack sat back in his chair and looked at first Traci and then the marriage counselor. “I’ll answer, but first I have a couple of questions for you if you don’t mind. Traci chose you and met with you, but I never got a chance to speak with you.”

Karen gave him an appraising look. “You can ask me a couple of questions. If I think they are inappropriate I will simply refuse to answer them.”

“Fair enough.” Jack again locked eyes with Karen. “Are you married?”

“No, I am not married,” Karen replied.

“Have you ever been married?”

Karen was generally uncomfortable speaking about her personal life, but she also knew that the hallmark of a good counselor was the ability to be open and vulnerable with clients. To an extent.

“Yes, I have been married, however I’ve been divorced for several years now.” Karen was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with this line of questioning.

“Why did you get divorced?”

Okay, now the questions were completely inappropriate, Karen thought to herself. Before Karen could respond, Jack asked a follow-up question.

“Was there infidelity involved?”

“My marriage is not relevant to your marriage. Your marriage and my marriage are in no way alike and the breakdown of my marriage is not something we will be discussing further.” Karen could tell she was coming off as angry and not compassionate. She had to get a handle on her emotions. Why did Jack Briley have to go to that sore spot?

“I’m going to take that as yes,” Jack replied.

“Yes, there was infidelity involved,” Karen said, her lips compressed into a pale, thin, hard line.

“Thank you for your honesty,” Jack replied. “The reason I say that this is an emotional affair is because not only do they see each other all day at work, but they’re constantly texting each other at night and on the weekend. Every time we’re out, she spends most of her time on her phone with her boss. She refuses to show me her texts and turns her phone away from me so that I cannot see what she is doing. She sleeps with her phone under her pillow and takes it into the bathroom with her. We haven’t had sex in three months and if she is not sleeping with her boss now, I know she’ll be in bed with him soon.”

Karen looked at Traci. This was a much different spin on the story than what Traci had related to her over Zoom. “Traci, is Jack accurate is what he is saying?”

Traci again had an angry, disgusted look on her face. “No! I text with a lot of people. I have family and friends that I trade messages with. He is just being sad and pathetic. He wants to control me and not let me have any friends.”

“Jack, do you have any evidence to support what you are accusing Traci of?

Jack reached into the backpack that he had placed on the floor as he had taken his seat at the beginning of the session. He extracted several pages and handed them to Karen.

“What am I looking at?” Karen asked.

“That’s our phone bill from four months ago. If you look at page four, that’s where Traci’s cell phone details begin. It ends on page five. You can count them if you want, but she has a little over three hundred total texts that month. Mostly to me, her sisters and her mom.”

“What are you doing Jack? You’re proving my point for me” Traci said. She had sat silently so far, but Jack was really starting to piss her off with this BS.

Jack reached into his backpack and pulled out another document; this one noticeably thicker. “This is our last month’s phone bill.” Jack handed the pages to Karen. “Traci’s cell phone detail begins on page four, just like the other one. Tell me what page it ends on?”

Karen thumbed through the pages and looked up in surprise, “Page twelve. There are seven more pages of texts on this bill than the other bill you showed me.”

“Correct,” Jack said. “Now look at the phone numbers.”

“It’s almost all the same number,” Karen replied. “It looks like thousands of texts to the same number.” Karen turned towards Traci. “Traci?”

“I text my boss! So fucking what? We have a really good relationship and he gets me! But I am not cheating on you! I am not having an affair!” Traci shouted at Jack.

Karen looked at Jack whose expression was the opposite of Traci’s. While she was agitated and emotional, he was calm and almost placid in his demeanor.

“Prove it,” Jack said.

That statement brought both Traci and Karen up short. It wasn’t up to Traci to prove she wasn’t having an affair; it was up to Jack to prove she was having an affair.

“How can I prove I’m not doing something?” Traci asked. “You can’t prove a negative. Asking me to do that is as ridiculous as you thinking I am having an affair.”

“You can prove it to my satisfaction,” Jack said sticking out his hand. “All you have to do is let me read your texts.”

Traci looked towards Karen. “Can you believe what I have to deal with? This is what I meant when I said I have no privacy.” She rolled her eyes at Jack. “Fine. You want to read my texts?” Traci reached into her purse and pulled out her iPhone.

“Go for it. Afterwards you can apologize to me and drop this whole ridiculous topic.” She handed her phone to Jack after unlocking the screen.

Jack reached into his backpack and pulled out a laptop and a cable. He plugged one end of the cable into Traci’s iPhone and the other end into the laptop. He then opened the laptop.

“What are you doing?” Traci asked. She had a panicked look on her face.

“I purchased recovery software for iPhones. This will restore all deleted texts, photos and videos.” Jack punched a couple of buttons on his laptop and watched the screen.

“No!!” Traci shrieked and lunged for her phone, grabbing it from Jack. She ripped her phone out of his hand and the sync cable with along with it.”

Karen was startled by Traci’s sudden reaction. Jack seemed to expect it.

“I am not going to let you violate my privacy!” Traci shouted.

“Traci,” Karen said gently, “This doesn’t look good for you. It makes it seem like you are hiding things.”

“I have a right to privacy.” She looked at Jack. “I’m your wife. You have to trust me.”

Karen looked at Jack. “She is right about that. If you don’t trust her, you don’t have a marriage. Everyone deserves privacy.”

Jack looked from Karen to Traci and then back towards Karen. “Do you know the difference between privacy and secrecy?”

“I don’t know Jack, why don’t you explain it to us,” Traci said with a vaguely aggressive tone.

“Everyone’s entitled to privacy in a marriage. You want to use the bathroom behind a closed door? That’s privacy. You want to keep a diary or journal? That’s privacy. You see, privacy doesn’t affect the marriage. It doesn’t help the marriage nor does it hurt the marriage. Privacy has a completely neutral effect on a marriage.

You can’t say the same thing about secrecy. When you have relationships and conversations with members of the opposite sex and you exclude your spouse, then you have gone beyond privacy and are now leading a secret life. Secrecy is harmful to a marriage. You know as well as I do, that the texts you have exchanged with your boss will hurt me and will hurt our marriage. That is why you will not let me see them. You know that if I see what the two of you are saying and doing that I will file for divorce.”