New Coke was never ‘the real thing’.
But a nude bloke is worth acquiring
If his erect schlong
Is eight inches long.
But Zero Cock isn’t inspiring.

His cock is somewhat smallish, yes, but he has a few things in his favor. For instance:

He owns a super neat sports car and he lets me drive it. He says the top speed is about ninety, but if the wind is right and it’s downhill it might go 100. It feels like a thousand.

He’s playfully forgetful. For example, the other day he was shaving when I came into the bathroom. He had just put on shaving cream and I sat on the toilet and pulled down my panties and he squelched another handful of shaving cream onto his fingers. We looked at each other, and he grinned and I’m sure he was blushing underneath that shaving cream because I’d distracted him and he forgot he’d already shaving-creamed himself, and he looked at me and said, “In case you want to shave my pubes or vice versa.” And I said, “Don’t you like my pussy fur?” And he said, “I love your pussy fur. I was just making conversation.” And then he pushed down his comfy pants and smeared shaving cream all over his pubes. And I said, “But I love your cock nest.” I do love his cock nest. So he said, “Well, then, what now?” And I finished peeing and stood up and embraced him, and before we were done, our faces and groins were both covered with shaving cream. But the fuck lasted long enough that when we were finally done there was barely a lick of shaving cream anywhere. Later we did shave each other and it was fun and sexy, but we both agree we like each other with nests.

But he suggested we take pictures of our freshly shaven selves so we could remember how it was after we were all bushy again. I said okay if I got to take him first.

See how cute he is? The picture just wanted to make me suck him. I told him that and then I sucked him. Delicious!

Then he took me. Except he took a picture of my belly button instead.

“Don’t you like my shaven pussy?” I asked him. “I do,” he said, “I love it more than anything, but I didn’t want your belly button to feel neglected, and I love your belly button, and I just want to kiss it.” Then he kissed it. It felt good, but soon his tongue worked its way down to my clit and my cunt and that felt even better.

Gosh, the Bugatti, I think that’s the name of it, is so fast and sleek. One time he said, “You know, since this is a convertible, it’s only appropriate that you drive with your top down, right?” I tell him, “You’re so bad,” but I let him ease my top down so my breasts are bare, and I have to admit the air feels so good dashing against my nipples, and then he says, “Actually I tricked you—this isn’t a convertible—it doesn’t have a top.” And we laugh but next time we’re driving I say, “Should I take my top down,” and he always says, “Of course you should, because you have the most beautiful breasts in the whole wide world.”