Chapter 37: Other People’s Troubles

Friday, I didn’t do a lot. I had forgotten how much a deep dive seems to take out of me. As a young fellow, I could do two a day and spearfish in between, then do it again the next day. But that was a long time ago.

I rang Pauline to see how she was. She claimed to be ‘bloody amazing’, and very keen to do it all again asap. She offered to coordinate another trip.

“You mean a trip to the Moturangis?” I was wary.

“Yup. I wanna see those black coral trees on Ngakahi.” I took a very deep breath.

“Diving at the Moturangis, diving deep enuff for narcosis, getting down to black coral, and getting confident to do mushies are all separate issues.” “Umph.” Pauline made a little noise and I heard a change in her breathing. I imagined the hag hovering at the other end of the phone, but I went on anyway.

“The Moturangis, narcosis, and maybe black coral on the South end are negotiable – but no way are you ready for Ngakahi. I suspect we may all be too old to dive it safely anyway.”

“Oh.” Her disappointment was palpable. “Okay. I guess you know what’s safe and what’s not.”

We passed on to other matters, and Pauline mentioned that she had been in contact with Leslie, and she was pretty sure that her job would go at the end of the year.

“Restructure?”

“Yes – it’s been brewing for a while. They’ll offer her redundancy, and she’ll take it.”

“So the money will see her through to the pension?”

“Yeah, but money’s never been a worry for Leslie. Her Grandad left a big stack of money in a trust fund and she’s the only beneficiary. And her mother’s estate included the house she lives in now. Tom Turner left a few quid too, though she spent most of that when she was a solo mum with Alice.”

“Perhaps we’ll see a bit more of her.”

“I know which bit you want to see!” LRR had evidently made an appearance.

“I don’t think I have that on my own.”

“Yup – we have a pretty good thing going with Ryan and the Vaughans.” Pauline paused. “It’s hard for you to say ‘no’ to me - isn’t it?”

“Yup. I get how keen you are. There’s a part of me that would like to pretend I’m still twenty three and push the edge, but neither of us are spring chickens, and getting bent or dead or both is a big risk diving Ngakahi. The charter boats won’t touch it.”

“I don’t just mean Ngakahi, I mean saying ‘no’ generally.” I thought before answering.

“You’re right. But we talked about that before. Most men find it hard to say ‘no’ to women – particularly when there is an element of love involved. We have all had the experience of being absolutely dependent on a female for love and sustenance and protection, and that experience is central to the way most men relate to women for the rest of their lives.” Pauline remained silent, but I wanted more information. “Do I find it harder than the other men you have known?”

“You should probably ask Leslie. I haven’t been close to a lot of men the way she has. Ivan certainly wanted to please me, but he was quite badly scarred by his upbringing. You’re much more centred, but you still find it hard.”

“Maybe we can compromise. There are some places where we can see black coral and get narked that are lots safer than Ngakahi.”

“OK – I got it. Can I coordinate another trip to the Moturangis?”

“Please – and you might like to sus out when people might be available for a mushie trip in a couple of weeks.” We left it at that, and said our goodbyes. I spent the rest of the day catching up on correspondence.

I had a plan to finish staining my deck in the weekend, and made good progress on Saturday. Stan took my dinghy fishing that evening, and came back with a couple of snapper and a trevally. His ‘accident’ with the kahawai had terminated his first lesson before we got to processing fish, so I spent a bit of time showing him how. He went home with the snapper and a pottle of trimmings for Butch. I had sashimi for tea.

I had just finished the deck on Sunday afternoon when Ryan rang asking if I was up for a night dive.

“Yes, but not tonight. I’m not up for anything physical right now.”

“Are you available to talk if I come out?”

“Sure – come for tea – bring ribs.” He did, and we eventually settled into beanbags.

“What’s on your mind mate?”

“Family stuff.” I Hmmed. “Stephen and Juanita and the grandkids are staying in Oz for at least another five years.”

“They were supposed to be coming back next year, weren’t they? You’ve been visiting from time to time.”

“Yup. I could hop over to Sydney for a week or so, but they’re going to Western Australia.” I Hmmed. “Stephen rang on Friday. I’ve been stewing ever since. Stephen can work from anywhere, but Juanita has had an offer they can’t refuse. Perth’s a long way!”

“Sure is – eight hours isn’t it?”

“Dunno – guess so. It’s a zillion bucks anyway!”

“I didn’t think money was too much of a problem for you?”

“It’s not really...” He broke off and looked uncomfortable.

“So what is it then?” There was a long silence. I waited.

“There are complications...” Another long silence. I waited again. Eventually, my impatience overcame my fifty years of counselling experience.

“Like?”

“Like Jeanette’s in Perth. Single again. Like Stephen has spent twenty years blaming me and trying to get us back together. Like I was bloody devastated when she ran off and I still love her! Like I could visit the kids and grandkids in Sydney for a few days while Jeanette was three thousand miles away, but going to Perth for three weeks or so when she’s there is a scary prospect!”

“And?”

“And there’s a part of me that would like to give it another try with Jeanette, but my life is here – and it’s never been better!” Ryan looked really sad – which didn’t make a lot of sense to me. I said so. Indirectly.

“So you have something really good going here, with diving, drugs, and polyamory, courtesy of Ericson’s Nautical Academy and Psychedelic Fuckery. And you have the prospect of spending time with your grandkids in Perth and renewing an old relationship with their mum.”

“Yes – but...”

“Sounds awful!”

“But what if I want to be with her and she doesn’t want to be with me? I’ve been there before. It was awful!”

“Long time ago. I’d guess you were doing “Happily ever after’, and believed in an exclusive relationship, forsaking all others, till death do you part.” He looked thoughtful.

“Yup”

“And now you have the Psychedelic fuckery available.” He snorted.

“It’s actually exactly the sort of thing Jeanette would have liked to get into.”

“Maybe she still might!” I chuckled, Ryan snorted again, and the snort became a belly laugh as I joined him. “And even if she doesn’t, you still might have someone to keep your bed warm in Perth, and three hot women here to come back to.”

“I’m still anxious about what might happen in Perth if I go over there.”

“Perhaps I should tell you a story about a minor noble and his nympho consort?”

“Fuck off Noddy!” We laughed together and he pulled out his vape.

We had a cruisy evening, and Ryan eventually crashed in my spare room. He went home on Monday morning looking a lot happier than he had when he arrived.

Leslie rang on Thursday morning, asking if I was available that night. I invited her to bring ribs for dinner. She did, but we found our immediate appetite was for each other, and abandoned the takeaways for my bed. The sex was tender and very loving, and we lay in sticky connection for quite a while after we had come more or less together.

Eventually, we got up, showered, and ate. Then we went back to bed. Leslie wanted to talk. She got straight into it, but it wasn’t about losing her job.

“My honorary granddaughter Carol, is being abused.”

“Shit! What’s happening?”

“She’s seventeen. She’s in relationship with an older guy from a gang related family. He’s controlling and she’s been totally under his thumb since she got together with him about eighteen months ago. Now she’s coming home with bruises. Her parents are worried sick.” I sensed there was more. Thirty years in the game made me pretty sensitive to patterns of abuse.

“What else?”

“You don’t miss much do you? He’s been giving her crystal meth –’P’.”

“Shit! Has she got a habit?”

“Dunno, her parents get her away from him but she keeps going back. It might be the ‘P’, but he is certainly psychologically dominant, and she is clearly psychologically dependent on him.”