Chapter 25: I’m an Ordinary Guy

So after a night with Sarah in my head, and a few wonders about whether I wanted to talk to Ryan about where I was up to with the Vaughans, it was breakfast eggs and coffee. Then I went along to the Vaughans.

At home, Butch is an ‘inside dog’ and he was pleased to see me in a polite, well bred, and respectful way. Stan and Sarah were not, in an equally polite, well bred, and respectful way. They were in the shit. They had clearly been having a disagreement that remained unresolved, and there were plenty of hurt feelings, unexpressed blaming, and misunderstandings still hanging about.

With people who know one another very well, psychedelics can have an almost magic effect in helping to surface and resolve conflict. At the Kea Community forty years before, we had sometimes used Fran’s ‘Carrot Juice’ ceremonially to bring us together when there was discord between members, but we all knew each other intimately, and had done lots of therapeutic work on our psyches together. None of that applied with my new neighbours, and I didn’t want to trip for the first time with a couple who weren’t right with each other, let alone get sexually involved.

But what I did want was less clear. The Vaughans wanted to be friends. We had a mutual interest in mushies and intimacy which potentially dovetailed with what was developing with Pauline and Ryan and perhaps Leslie. I was happy enough to provide a supportive ear for Sarah and Stan to talk about what was going on with them, but I certainly wasn’t up for dealing with a whole lot of psychological drama between people who were tripping when I was off my face myself. It was bulls and horns again.

“You’ve had a fight.” Sarah looked thunderous, but Stan produced a wry grin.

“That obvious huh?”

“Yup. On one level – none of my business, but for tripping, it’s a no no for me for now.” Sarah looked sad as well as angry.

“You mean it’s off?”

“Yup. Afraid so. For today anyway”

“Why not? It’s us that’s in the shit, not you!”

I don’t want to take my first trip for thirty years with people I don’t know all that well and who are in the shit with each other.” Sarah looked at Stan.

“That’s fair enough. It’s what got us in trouble before.” Now it was Stan’s turn to frown and look grim.

“Totally different circumstances.” He glanced towards Butch and went on. “Besides, it’s you this time.” The dog cocked his head and thumped his tail. “No dog, not you. ‘Sexylegs’ here.” He grinned towards Sarah, who answered with a half grin of her own before whatever memory was pushing her ‘sad’ buttons reasserted itself. Another bull. I grabbed it and followed a hunch.

“So you did sex and drugs with other people and it all turned to shit and you had to leave, and you’ve come up here and you want to explore more but one or both of you is scared that it will happen again?” Stan kept grinning.

“Yes and no. We had sex with other people and did mushrooms with other people, but we never got to do them together and when we set it up everything turned to shit.” He turned to Sarah. “I didn’t blab. He’s pretty smart.” She relaxed a little, and he followed his advantage. “I fucked up, but you have more sense.” Sarah relaxed further, so he pushed his luck. “And sexy legs too!”

“My sexy legs didn’t help you or us when the shit hit the fan.” She brought her attention back to me. “So you don’t want to trip with us today?”

“I’ve been thinking about it all night, in particular wondering how it might be to trip with you and whether I would turn on to you if we tripped, and where Stan might fit into that, but for today, I think I’d just like to hear your story. For a start anyway.”

Stan made some coffee, and we sat in the conservatory where ‘The Duchess’ had spent the bulk of her waking hours for twenty years. He began.

“We lived in Hawkes Bay for most of our adult lives. We settled there when we came back pregnant from our OE and got married. I was in HR with the Port, and Sarah went back to IT as soon as Russel started school. We lived a very straight life while he was growing up, but when he started to spread his wings as a teenager, we looked forward to getting back into the lifestyle we had had when we met.” He looked at Sarah, and moved to sit beside her before going on.

“After we lost him we were both pretty depressed for a while, but a friend introduced us to mushies and that led to our opening up again. The mushies certainly seemed to help us deal with the loss.” He put an arm around Sarah, who leaned against him. “I left the Port for a small consultancy and Sarah started contract work on database design. We were both open to occasional dalliances. It was all ok.” Sarah chimed in.

“It was better than ok. We were both very happy. We each had occasional lovers, and we gathered mushies in season. We mainly tripped with each other, but sometimes with friends. If it had stayed that way, we’d still be in Napier.” Stan was rueful.

“I was working with Rob, an old friend who had a network of local contacts in the food processing industry. We had bugger all competition and we were creaming it. His partner was an old hippy, and they occasionally had ‘dalliances’, or were at least ‘intermittently consensually adulterous’. Sarah snorted, but Stan went on. “I don’t think Rob was completely comfortable, but he went along.”

“Sharon had the hots for you from the beginning.” Sarah’s tone was just a little snarky, and I made a guess.

“Rob’s partner – ex hippy? You saw trouble coming?”

“Yes and yes. Fishing off the company pier is always risky.” She took a breath. “Anyway, they found out we did mushies, and kept asking us to set up a trip with them.”

“I fucked up badly”, Stan admitted. “I shoulda insisted we talk the situation through – Jesus – we made our living communicating and helping our clients talk to each other.”

“You sure shoulda!” Sarah moved away from Stan and indicated her emphatic agreement, and Butch whined again. She turned to me. “We were well into the trip. We were in their lounge, and Sharon started to come on to Stan. I was horny, but I never fancied Rob – too big and hairy for me, and too loud and pushy too!”

I was getting the picture. Four people off their faces, having never tripped together before, and never having talked about the situation. Two of them turning on to the other one’s partner, and at least one of the four not keen on sexual contact. Volatile and potentially risky. “What happened then?”

“Sharon took her clothes off, and ‘lover boy’ here got absolutely fixated on her pussy.” Stan looked embarrassed, but Sarah went on. “He knelt between her legs and stared and stared. “I was ok just sitting and grooving with the music, and I didn’t pick up Rob’s discomfort.” Stan remained rueful.

“It would probably have been ok if it had stopped there, but she kept asking to see my cock. I was totally fascinated by the shape of her labia, but happy just to look – at that stage anyway, but I stood up and dropped my pants. I go commando, and I was hard. Sharon reached out to grab me and Rob freaked out.”