Chapter 53

Author’s Note: Here we are. Welcome to the finale of Traffic Girl: Juliet, book five in the Traffic Girl series. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for the amazing feedback, observations, kind words, and constructive criticism you’ve all given me. And I’m looking forward to keeping this going with a sixth book in the series. Stay tuned with no delay for Traffic Girl: Katie.

It was chaotic leading up to our departure for the wedding. We would be gone for two weeks, so packing up the family and taking everything we needed for the wedding was a heavy lift. But it was worth it. We would be forging memories to last a lifetime, and I wanted every detail to be perfect. All of us did.

The five of us flew in three days before the wedding, little Katie and John Junior in tow with both nannies. The small party of guests came the day before the main event on a separate jet a couple days later, which would give us some time as a family to just enjoy ourselves in the peace and quiet of isolation. We meant it when we decided to keep it a small ceremony, with Melanie, Juliet, Petey, Alix, Jason, Crystal, and Bianka joining us. They were the people closest in our circle. We would celebrate with everyone else later.

The island Petey had arranged for us was exceptional. It was a tiny blip, between Andros and Great Guana Cay in the Bahamas. It barely showed up on a map since it was only forty acres. But it had an air strip, which ran along the west side of the island, so we could land directly, and plenty of room for an intimate-yet-wild wedding weekend. There was a main estate house, which had been converted into event space, and it included a stunning front lawn. The remainder of the developed portion of the island was in back of the main house, and it consisted of six cottages, each with two or three bedrooms, and they ringed a massive infinity pool that looked over the stunningly clear, inviting waters of the Caribbean.

A full staff, including two chefs and multiple butlers, were on-call at all times. We had shipped ahead an array of provisions, so the island was generously stocked by the time we got there. Jason and Crystal had volunteered to ensure the party favors arrived safely. And Juliet had arranged for one of her talent agency’s superb event planners to serve as wedding coordinator for the weekend. We had a very specific schedule we wanted to adhere to, including for the two weeks we would stay after our guests left as a honeymoon.

The first day, we took it easy, lounging around the pool and enjoying a family day. It was a welcome slowdown, and we all tried to prioritize living in the moment. The most surprising thing to me was that none of us felt any anxiety or nerves, at least we didn’t show it openly. For me, this was a culmination. An unexpected culmination, perhaps, because who could ever dream their lives would unfold this way, but one I was looking forward to without any doubts. The general level of excitement bubbling among all five of us was a significant indication that this was a fear-free environment. We were doing something great. It was special. And I hoped the couple surprises I had in store would make it even more special.

Having two family days was important and restful. Having two evenings with the girls for us to reflect and anticipate the wedding helped us ramp up the excitement. The first night, I took a walk with each girl individually, with one specific question I wanted to pose to them: how did they want marriage to change us?

We had talked about that topic from time to time, particularly in recent months. But one thing we all agreed on was that we didn’t want the ceremony to be just a ceremony, and then we’d move on with our regular lives as they were. We wanted it to mean something. We wanted it to be a source of new energy or change. I was impressed by each of their answers. It gave all of us a lot to think about and, more importantly, a lot to aspire to.

Katie suggested that we get in a routine of date nights. She was so cute when she brought it up. She was scared of offending the other girls but confessed she really liked when we got one-on-one time. Of all the girls, Katie relished alone time the most. There often – though less frequently as time wore on – were times when she held a kind of self-doubt or fear that all this was too good to be true. I wholeheartedly endorsed her date night proposal, which made her beam. It was a great idea because it allowed us to foster those individual relationships and afforded each of us to be creative.

Rita’s proposal was for family dinner. We had become more sloppy in making sure we sat down to dinner all together most nights. It was an easy habit to slip out of when my work and Jess’s work was busy, or we had other things going on, like parties. So we renewed our commitment to having all of us at the table together five nights a week. Rita had firmly established herself as the matriarch-mama bear of us. She always put the well-being of the family first, providing a steady hand that helped us balance all our commitments. And our desires.

Jess had something in mind that was similar to Katie’s – focused on stoking our one-on-one time. She thought it would be reasonable to have a getaway once a quarter. It didn’t need to be something fancy or crazy, but having a couple days where we could get out of town and reconnect would help us stay fresh. It also would enable us to build a series of distinctive memories.

Kat, always the playful one, had an extension of our bachelor-bachelorette night game in mind. She wanted to expand that to our swingers group. She thought letting people pick a fantasy to act out would make an already compelling, adventurous group even more spicy. By the glint in her eyes when she told me this, I knew she had something in mind for me. I didn’t ask what it was. Part of the fun would be finding out.

Taken together, the girls’ visions created an exciting balance, something to anchor our desire for stability and exploration. The formality of marriage was important to us, but so was keeping our lives fresh and adventurous. We had that insatiable need to keep moving forward, but being married changed things in a significant way. It was more than just symbolic. It was the full-on commitment to our lifestyle and the way we wanted to live. And it gave us a platform to celebrate it and cement it.

The two days of family time were the perfect foundation for the celebration, but it really started to feel like our kind of party when our friends arrived. Melanie, Juliet, Petey, Alix, Jason, Crystal, and Bianka tumbled off their Gulfstream G550, and we knew immediately they had brought the party with them. They were boisterous, disheveled, and had obviously gotten into the goodies on the six-hour flight from LA.

“We are all rolling our asses off,” Juliet said when she hugged me hello, lingering and not wanting to let go.

It was an incredibly lovey-dovey greeting all around, and it set the tone for what was our rehearsal dinner day. Although we didn’t have a rehearsal. Just dinner. The staff on the island were exceptional, and to celebrate the arrival of our guests and the eve of the big day, a couple of them had gone free diving for spiny lobsters. It made for a simple and sumptuous feast, the lobsters simply grilled with butter and a wickedly good scotch bonnet salsa. The Champagne, white wine, and rosé flowed like water. It was the perfect setting and perfect vibe for the weekend. When bedtime for the kids hit, the nannies took them to the other side of the island, where they could sleep in peaceful bliss. And we turned the main house into an adults-only party.

We watched the sunset, drinks in hand, with the warm ocean water washing over our toes. It was humbling and beautiful to see the flaming orb appear to descend into the ocean. The colors were pastel, then warm, as it changed from pink to orange to an almost amber before it disappeared beyond the horizon.

“Hey, can I steal you for a minute?” Juliet said, slipping her hand in mind as the last beams of light shot up from seemingly below the ocean.

“Yeah, of course,” I said, and Juliet pulled me away from the ocean toward the back side of the main house and over by the far edge of the infinity pool.

She guided me toward one of the comfortably padded lounge chairs, and we sat down together. Juliet took both of my hands in hers. They were soft and warm. She looked at me, her eyes still sparkling despite the deepening twilight.

“So, I wanted to tell you this myself,” she said. “Melanie is doing the same right now with the girls. But I thought I owed it to you to hear it from me.”

“What?” I said, a chill running up my spine.

“Mel isn’t going to be the maid of honor tomorrow,” Juliet said and paused.

She smiled at me when the look of confusion passed over my face.

“She’s going to be the matron of honor,” Juliet finished.

My look didn’t become any less confused. At least, not for the several moments it took my wine-buzzed brain to process what she told me. Juliet took pity on me and gave me another hint. She held up her left hand and wiggled it. In addition to her engagement ring, there was a round band studded with baguette diamonds.

“Oh my god,” I said. “Juliet!”

“We did a very quiet civil thing before we flew out here,” she said. “We just couldn’t wait anymore. It was super spur of the moment. We felt it, and we just did it.”

“I’m so happy for you!” I said and gave her a bear hug so strong it caused her to almost tumble into my lap.

“It brings me so much peace,” Juliet said. “Mel brings me so much peace. I’m truly grounded. I feel confident. I feel like I know where I am and where I’m going. That’s not easy to do in this environment.”

“Yeah, this place sucks,” I said jokingly. “Impossible to enjoy anything.”

We both laughed. I looked Juliet in the eyes. There was a self-assuredness in them.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “I mean, for more than just Mel. I wouldn’t have met her if it weren’t for you. Just the whole – I mean, just everything in life seems to be going right at the moment. It’s hard to believe I’ve lived in LA for almost a decade, and this is the first time I really feel like things aren’t just totally beyond my control.”

“You always seem like you’ve got it together,” I said.

“I’m an actor,” Juliet said. “I can always make myself look put together. And I know I’m not as bad as some people out here, maybe most people. But now? I feel genuinely in control.”

“Well, you’re doing a fucking amazing job,” I said admiringly. “I think all of us look up to you. You’ve got such drive and clarity about the focus of that drive.”

“We’re a team,” Juliet said. “I mean that. I feel like I’ve got the best support system. But enough about me. I wanted to talk to you about the ceremony.”

“Do you think the girls know?” I asked.

“Nah,” Juliet said, shaking her head. I loved seeing her profile silhouette in the growing darkness. “They think someone local is doing it.”

“So what do you want to talk about?” I said.

“Well, I just sort of wanted to run it by you,” she said. “I’m going to keep it short. I’ll talk about the five of you together and then just get right to it.”

“Sounds amazing,” I said. “I know it’ll be thoughtful and perfect.”

I gazed at her.

“Marriage looks good on you,” I said.

“I don’t even know how to describe it,” Juliet said with a sigh. “But I have a sneaking suspicion in about twenty-four hours? You’re going to look at me and tell me that you totally get it.”

She smiled. I could see it on her face. It was like the cliche in movies, when someone loses their virginity, and they swear you can tell they’re different by looking at them. I could see the change in Juliet’s face. There was a subtle calm to it. Seeing her expression, I could almost feel what she was talking about. But I wanted to know. I was so eager. The only butterflies in my stomach fluttered because I wanted the day to be perfect. The girls deserved it.

“We should get back to the others,” Juliet said.

She led the way, and we came across a raucous scene back at the main house. Jess saw us first, and she was an emotional mess. Tears streamed down her face, which contrasted with the achingly broad smile on her face.

“I can’t believe it! I’m so happy for you!” she blubbered, wrapping Juliet in a hug.

Kat and Rita each were opening fresh bottles of Champagne.

“Another toast!” Rita shouted.

The bottles made their way around our group of a dozen, and Jess offered a sobbing toast to her best friend. Glasses clinked loudly, and then I felt Katie tug at my shirt. She gave me a crooked smile, and her hand was warm and gentle against my skin.

“I know we said we would take it easy tonight, daddy,” she said. “But don’t you think we could celebrate a little?”

She touched a finger to the side of her nose, as if I needed the visual.

“A little celebration couldn’t hurt, could it, sweetie?” I said with a smile.

Katie grinned back at me and bounced off to Crystal, who had taken personal charge of the party favors. She whispered to her, and Crystal grinned right back at her and took her hand and tugged her away.

I made my way over to Melanie, who was accepting gushing congratulations from Bianka and Kat, with Jess shadowing her, still crying tears of joy.

“Hey you,” I said, and she embraced me.

I held her tightly and picked her up and gave her a little twirl. I kissed her cheek, and her facial expression shared the same special calm I had noticed in Juliet.

“I’m so happy for you both,” I said. “You look radiant, and you really deserve it.”

“Thank you, John,” she said. “It’s kind of amazing how far we’ve come.”

“It is, isn’t it?” I said. “From coffee at the business school and awkwardly bumping into you at the sorority house.”

I laughed.

“It was never awkward,” she said with a smile.

“Well, I couldn’t be happier for you or more proud,” I said. “You’ve had such a positive influence on our lives. You deserve this.”

“We all do,” she said.

There was a brief pause, and we reflexively touched our crystal glasses together. Then Melanie spoke up.

“Did Juliet tell you our plan?” she asked.

I nodded and said, “It’s perfect. I can’t wait.”

“You deserve it, too, you know,” she said. “You’re the catalyst for so many good things in my life. In Jess’s life. You are so good for her, you know.”

I hugged her again and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. I was about to say something, but Katie and Crystal returned waving an embarrassingly large bag of cocaine.

“Let’s party!” Crystal said.

“Woohoo!” Katie cried. “For the newlyweds!”

I chuckled to myself because it probably had been a tad too optimistic that we could adhere to the goal of having a quiet night before the wedding. Maybe it was unrealistic, but it was clear everyone was really eager to dig into the goodies once they came out.

Soon, the night air was filled with the familiar chopping and scraping sounds of cocaine being prepared. It was followed in short order by the hedonistic chorus of snorting, sniffling, and ecstatic noises that accompanied the electric infusion of our favorite drug into the party.

“Do you want to do a couple bumps with us, daddy?” I heard Kat’s voice behind me, then her delicate arms slipping around my waist.

“Maybe off my tits, babe?” There was Rita now, whispering in my ear.

“You two are such cruel teases,” I said. “I thought no sex tonight.”

“There is no sex tonight,” Kat said. “We’re getting married tomorrow. We want to be pure as the driven snow for you.”

The two of them cackled and let their hands roam around me. I felt one of Rita’s fingers slide between the buttons on my blue linen shirt.

“Are you excited about losing your virginity tomorrow night then?” I asked, playing along.

“Of course we are,” Rita said. “We are such good girls.”

“The best girls,” I said and put my lips close to hers.

She moved like she was going to kiss me, but then veered to the side.

“Nuh-uh, daddy,” Kat said. “You get teased tonight. We want you desperate tomorrow.”

“Fuck, I’m desperate now,” I said, plaintively rolling my eyes.

But teasing became the order of the night as the celebration turned into an impromptu wedding reception for Melanie and Juliet. It actually was a magical night, and comparatively subdued because there was a surprising adherence to the unspoken chastity pledge. After an initial couple bumps off Rita’s breasts, I stayed away from the coke. The girls, even Jess, didn’t go all-out, either. Nevertheless, there was an incredible energy to the night.

Shortly before midnight, Jess found me and sat in my lap as I talked to Jason.

“You look tired,” I told her.

“Tired and happy,” she said sleepily.

“But?” I said, anticipating that she had something to say.

“Do you want to make a toast to them?” she said, her voice tentative. “I feel like you would say something so beautiful.”

“I mean, should I?” I said, the thought not having occurred to me.

“Then we can go to bed,” she said.

She slid off my lap after I patted her back, and I stood up. I clinked my fingernail against the glass, which was sufficient to garner the small group’s attention.

“Hey, everyone,” I said, “if I may. I just wanted to say a couple quick words about this unexpected and most happy surprise.”

“Speech!” Jason shouted next to me, laughing vociferously.

My head was surprisingly clear. Eleven sets of eyes settled on me. I had nothing prepared. I wasn’t even thinking about saying something. Melanie and Juliet stood at the center of the gathering, and the night air was clean and warm. Juliet smiled at me, and Melanie settled her head on her shoulder.

“Well, okay,” I said, clearing my throat. “I think this one caught all of us by surprise. In the best way imaginable. So, obviously, I don’t really have anything in mind, but when Jess asks you to do something, it’s probably in your interest to do it.”

There was a round of knowing laughter, especially from Kat, Rita, and Katie.

“But you know what I realize?” I continued. “When you start thinking about Melanie and Juliet, and you know them well – like all of us here do – the first thing that comes to mind is generosity. All of us have been the beneficiaries of it. As long as I’ve known her, Melanie is one of the first people to ask if you need help with something, and they aren’t just empty words. She backs them up with her deeds. She embodies the word ‘friend.’ And Juliet? What can I say about you?”

I turned and looked at her, and she glanced down at the ground furtively.

“From the first time I met you – back when I was in awe,” I said and paused for the expected laughter. “From that first meeting, I have had this almost indescribable admiration for your generosity of time. You almost literally could do anything you wanted at any time, but you are so gracious with taking us all in as friends and allowing us to build relationships with you that make our lives better.”

“Here, here!” said Petey from my left. A gaggle of whistles and whoops followed.

“So, I realize I should just shut up because I’m making no sense,” I said, feeling the blush warm my cheeks. “But I just want both of you to know that your kindness and your caring and your generosity? We notice it every day, and each of us couldn’t be happier that you found one another. It’s rare in anyone’s life to get to celebrate the union of a couple that is so perfectly matched. And, for me personally, I feel like this is a milestone I will never forget. We will all remember when we learned you got married. And I can’t thank you enough for sharing your joyous news with us. So I ask you to join me and raise a glass to the happy couple. To Melanie and Juliet and your lifetime of happiness!”

“To Melanie and Juliet!” echoed the chorus around me.

And the scene broke out into a series of exuberant clinks of glasses and laughter – and some tears. Jess was bawling again. But it meant a lot to see Juliet wipe the corner of her eye discreetly before turning on her high-wattage smile again.

They both walked up to greet me with a hug and kiss when I finished, and I worried it had been too corny or too sentimental or both. But I was feeling sentimental. I was also really tired. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked at my watch. It was barely eleven o’clock. The girls and I had agreed, out of some sense of traditionalism that was desired but nevertheless seemed out of place, to spend the night before the wedding separately.

So I excused myself and headed to a cottage that was at the far east side of the island. I had wanted something secluded and good for self-reflection. I tended to be like a shark in my need for constant motion or movement forward. I didn’t like to stop and look around, but this occasion merited it. If nothing else, it warranted a look back at how I’d ended up here. I couldn’t shake a seemingly inescapable feeling that I had robbed a bank, that it was too good to be true.

I said my goodnights. Jason asked if I needed company, and I said I was okay. But Kat insisted on walking me to the cottage. The roar of the ocean seemed more imposing in the black of night. I felt infinitesimally small. That was appropriate for the occasion. Kat’s hand was warm and soft in mine. She squeezed me lightly. We didn’t talk while we walked. Her presence was just enough. I had too many thoughts swirling around my mind to say anything.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Kat said, her eyelashes fluttering at me when we reached the white-washed door of the cottage.

“I’m just ... content,” I said. “And thinking.”

“About?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “How I got here. How we got here. How I want to pinch myself because it feels so surreal.”

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me softly on the lips. It was almost chaste.

“Because I love you,” she said. “And Jess loves you. And Rita loves you. And Katie loves you. And guess what? We all love each other. This is exciting for us, too.”

“I love you, too, Kitty Kat,” I said and kissed her back.

“Get some rest, Mr. Cameron,” she said playfully. “Because tomorrow night? You are going to have four gorgeous and very, very horny Mrs. Camerons to satisfy.”

I gave a chuckle and smiled at her. She wore a flowing sundress that blew in the swirling tropical breeze. I watched until she disappeared, heading back to the party and our friends. I opened the door, which was unlocked, and flicked on the light. It was a perfect sanctuary, and I noticed a bottle of Champagne in an ice bucket on the dresser. I couldn’t help myself and popped it, pouring a tall glass. My toiletries had been laid out by the staff, and I was impressed with the impeccable attention to detail that went into every facet of the island.

I sat down on the bed and flipped on the TV, tuning it to the numbing, mindless repetition of ESPN. This time tomorrow, we would have reached a point I’d long craved. It felt exhilarating that it was about to happen, to not put it off any longer. I think part of why I’d been okay delaying was that life felt incomplete – like we had someplace new to go or some other goal to achieve. But finally I realized there would always be something else.

Like Katie and her offer to go on tour with Riley and Henry. Should I be worried about that? I didn’t think so. Katie’s devotion was singular, unwavering. I didn’t think her doing it would be any threat. It would be good for her. Her talent was immense, and she deserved to pursue it. It gave her purpose, and I noted the enthusiasm she showed, how she blossomed, as she delved deeper into her singing career. No, this was a good thing for Katie. And if it was good for Katie, it was good for us. We would all make sure of that. She might have been the newest addition to our unique circle, but, as I was so fond of saying, she was like the missing, middle piece of a puzzle that completed it.

That puzzle had started with Kat. I genuinely couldn’t believe I would soon see her walk down the aisle toward me. It had started as a social media crush. Then it had taken a casual, innocuous turn with our first, accidental in-person meeting. And then, of course, the Fates had taken hold of us that fall afternoon when I gave her a ride home from the charity luncheon. From that point, our future was left in the hands of our debauched cravings. Those cravings and kinks maybe made this matrimonial end point inevitable. I was probably being too charitable in that assessment, ignoring the dark times that we had faced from time to time. We could have careened down a highway to hell, but we pulled back from it. Maybe that’s why I knew, deep down, this conclusion was natural. We had gone through it all, and we only ended up closer at each step of the way. She had fought her own, darker desires. She had sewed her oats, and I was the only person who had ever had the patience to see through the real her. So, yes, there was no place for us to end up besides marriage.

It dawned on me that Jess and I had taken a similar path. Was it, too, inevitable that we would get married? That seemed less clear to me. Partly, it was my fault, I knew that. I had treated Jess too casually in our early days. I relegated her to an arms-length status, like I had with so many other hookups. At the time, so long ago, that was my natural defense mechanism. I didn’t make myself emotionally available. I thought it made me look weak. Or maybe I was just scared. But, in retrospect, we had just piled up such a massive collection of fun times and memories – hazy though some of them might have been – that it was undeniable that it wouldn’t become more. We had weathered the storm, just like Kat and I had. Although, if Kat and I had weathered a hurricane, Jess and I had been through the storm and ensuing tsunami. It made me proud of the two of us. We could have given up. We had tried to. Somewhere in the recesses of our hearts, both of which had been closed off too often with one another, we couldn’t let go. When I thought of who Jess had become, and how she would continue to evolve, I swelled up with pride. I truly believed Jess had reached the point where she could harness her wild side and make it work to her benefit.

My thoughts inevitably wandered, then, to Rita. I had come to the strong conclusion that, in many ways, Rita was the glue that held us together. She was the one you didn’t want to cross. She was a natural protector. She was rational to a fault and more grounded than any of us. She knew what she wanted and, most importantly, knew how to stay laser-focused on getting it. Often, that meant guiding us there with motherly kindness and the patience of a saint. But none of that ever seemed to bother her. She was in her element, in full control, and she loved it. Rita was my goddess. I had worshiped at her altar since the first time I met her, and it made me happy that she took the reins of our family the way she had.

The Champagne bottle was almost empty as my thoughts continued to drift. I realized I was drunk, and my brain was fuzzy. My eyes got heavy, and I started to drift off. The harsh light of the TV woke me up from time to time, and I finally polished off the bubbles and powered down around two o’clock. I was in that odd place of being sleepy but with just enough adrenaline going to keep me awake. But I knew I needed to get to bed. Tomorrow wasn’t just the dawn of a new day. It was the dawn of a new chapter in our lives.

I woke up Saturday morning with a headache and dry mouth that tasted like a cat had shit in it. The light was still gray outside. It was just past seven o’clock in the morning. But I was up, and my mind wouldn’t let me go back to bed. This was the day I’d been waiting for, and the weather delivered on it. It was clear and barely above eighty degrees. The ocean breeze blew gently, cutting through the surprisingly moderate humidity. I strolled down to the beach, where I stumbled upon Petey and Alix, who had passed out naked on a pair of loungers. They didn’t even stir as I walked past.

As I made my way back toward the main house, I caught a glimpse of Kat and Rita, who were standing along the wraparound terrace on their cottage, hands wrapped around coffee mugs, and staring out at the ocean. They looked fresh and vibrant. I yearned for them. They saw me and waved. I waved back. They beckoned me. I hesitated briefly but made my way toward them.

“Isn’t this bad luck?” I said.

“I’ll risk it,” Rita said and kissed me. “The pain of being away from you is worse.”

“Good morning, daddy,” Kat said and also kissed me.

“How was the rest of your night?” I asked.

“Quiet,” Rita said.

“Yeah,” Kat said, “we went to bed about the time you left, too.”

“I drank a bottle of Champagne and finally passed out around two,” I said with a chuckle.

“Was your mind racing, too?” Rita asked.

“Yup,” I said. “But in the best way.” A rush of energy had come over me, and I felt like I could take on the world. “I’m so excited for today. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“I feel really peaceful,” Kat said.