Chapter 1

The first time I heard my brother masturbating it was something of a disconcerting experience. Our beds were positioned on immediate opposite sides of a poorly insulated wall. I had been laying there quietly reading a book. It mustn’t have occurred to him that I might hear his activity.

It began with soft groaning and the faint creaking from his bed. I stilled to listen closer. For the briefest moment I thought he might be working out, but no-one sounds like they are enjoying exercise that much. Very carefully I put my ear to the wall. Eventually I could make out his heavy breathing, there was also a faint slapping kind of sound.

When I understood what I was hearing I was initially grossed out. Regardless, I continued to listen. I was silently frozen in place for almost the entire duration. With his first straining grunt my face was red. I felt a warmth and swelling. By the time he grunted his finish I was very wet. Even then I found it more than a little stirring.

To be clear, that arousal I felt was in spite of the fact that it was my brother. I knew what I was hearing, and I was very turned on by the situation while at the same time being repelled. It was a confusing set of feelings. Had it been any other boy, I know I would have found it exceptionally hot.

By that age I was already quite aware of boys and sex. Not that I was by any means worldly. I’d barely just discovered the joys of touching myself in recent months. My brother had a year on me and thus had much more time to assimilate the concept of sex and develop his attitudes. While I listened to him pleasure himself, I wondered how long he had been wanking on the other side of that wall without me knowing.

Public schools teach sex education from the age of ten onward. They hadn’t spent a lot of time on boys and masturbation but people talk. They had to because the information that schools provide is so very pathetic. I learned about touching myself mostly through other sources. Most of my information came in fact, from friends and magazines.

This was, unfortunately for me, in the very early days of internet. We didn’t even have a computer at home. What I wouldn’t have given for the information that is now freely available. In many ways I envy the girls of today. Even now I still learn things from you-tube urologists.

If I had been born a mere ten years later my life would have been completely different. I had so very many questions for which there seemed to simply be no answers.

In truth at the time I was pitifully poorly informed. I had seen porn before though, but nothing that could be called genuinely edifying about the subject. The fact was most porn of the time consisted of put it in, moan for a bit then money shot.

Both of my brothers had magazine collections they thought no-one knew about. The articles were occasionally interesting, but I’m still not sure I’d call them technically informative.

By this I mean providing real information on bodies, what to do and how it feels. There were a myriad of other things I needed to learn that I was completely unaware I didn’t know. It would be years before I knew just how much I didn’t know.

One brother had several burnt cd’s with misleading names on them. I erroneously believed they were illuminating. However they were better than nothing. I had watched them dozens of times. I even had my own copies of a couple. At the time I took in what I saw on those as gospel.

My eldest brother Luke was two years older than me. He was the one with the movies. It would have been impossible for me not to have thought he was experienced. He’d frequently had girls over after school.

Together they usually made a lot of noise in the hours before our parents came home. “Your brother has a real big dick.” A sweaty girl once told me when I encountered her half naked in our kitchen.

He was making the most of it while he could. Our pregnant mother would soon be off work for at least a year raising a new born. That would be sure to cramp his style. In the mean time an endless parade of girls filed through his bedroom, on one occasion a pair of them. Naturally I could never ask him any of my questions. I just stole his porn.

I started masturbating shortly after seeing it in one of his videos. I must have watched it a hundred times. I had never even thought of playing with myself before seeing her. This was mere weeks before the first time I would hear Matt. Naturally I did exactly what I saw the woman do and was amazed by the sensations. It took me quite a few goes before the first time I would come.

I didn’t really do it right or long enough. Because it was all new to me, I didn’t at all realise the full scope of what I could experience. Not to mention the woman in the video got off at an unreasonably quick two minutes from beginning to end. Unless listening to my brother I could never get there in less than four or five.

When I think back now I know I must have gotten myself close a dozen or so times before I had a real orgasm. I would lie there getting hotter feeling heat in strange random places in my body. One day it was my ankles, the next it was my thighs, another it was my spine and neck. I loved the sensation, but every time I would eventually stop to catch my breath and then give up.

I lost my virginity to the handle of my hairbrush that first week. It had bumpy ridges along it’s length that I came to really appreciate. Eventually I graduated to the larger impulse spray can and always made sure I had one on me.

In less than a year I would pester my mother for an electric toothbrush which I would use every single day. Pro tip, you can persuade your mother to buy you anything if you can prove to her its hygienically superior.

My first orgasm was a complete revelation to me. It happened perhaps a week or two after I began touching myself. A few days after first hearing Matt coming. I finally understood what happened to the woman in the video.

I had been playing for at least a full ten minutes. I was loving the experience. There were hot little tingles all over my body and an urgent swelling pressure in my groin.