Chapter 1: Premature

I watch my dad’s car turn and then drive off out of sight. I immediately start walking rapidly away from the school gates. A sudden rush of excitement and fear wash over me as I see him a little further away, waving his hand. I stop and carefully apply my lipgloss to make my pink lips look wet and open my ponytail and give a quick touch to spread them out. I walk faster toward him.

For the last few months, we have been secretly talking to each other the whole night. Our conversations included everything, what we like, what we want, which songs we like, which movies we like, and even what we ate at the last meal. We also discussed deeper things like the kind of people we like and our dreams for the future and everything else. Lately, however, our conversations have shifted to something more ... Uhm ... interesting. I suppose he is my boyfriend now.

I told my Mom that we have a dance competition in school. She allowed me to have light makeup. I use eyeliner and pink eye shadow to make my already big round eyes bigger on my heart-shaped face. I use pink lipstick but I know lipgloss would be too much for my mother so I pocket it for later. I make my shoulder-length black hair into one ponytail.

I had purposefully forgotten to wash most of my school uniforms. I am wearing a set that was bought when I was one and a half feet smaller and lacked my uncomfortably large round breasts. The skirt is barely reaching half my thighs and the shirt is hugging my chest. Upclose my bra was visible through the thin old white fabric. The buttons are about to burst from all the stress from my overgrown breasts.

Dad, at first, refuses to take me to school but Mom convinces him because of the “important dance competition”.

Only if they could see the look in my boyfriend’s eyes when he saw me up close.

“You look se ... hmm ... beautiful!” He says as his eyes scan my body without being too obvious.

To be honest I would have preferred if he had said “sexy” and ogled me like other men were doing on the road.

Anyway, normally I would have greeted him back and when he called me beautiful, I would have asked him to shut up in a fake irritated voice. But all I could do today was avert my eyes.

He stops an autorickshaw (cab) and gives directions to my house. We sit.

We travel in silence. I would have liked it if he had held my hand or perhaps wrapped his hand around my back and pulled me closer. I try to look at him from the corner of my eyes. He has his head turned away from me and looking outside the rickshaw.

We reach home. I use my spare keys to open the gates and the door. We walk in silence and sit on the sofa in the living room.

A few minutes pass as I wait for him to do something. My heart is beating like drums and I can feel the heat in my ears.