My name is Maximilian Burnage, but you can simply call me Max. I was born Maxwell Burns, but changed my name after my wife and her cohorts targeted me in an illegal scheme that included a plot to murder me. With the help of two incredible individuals, namely, a Civil War veteran named Elijah Jones and an immortal goddess named Adrestia Rhamnousia, I was able to reclaim my life and get a measure of justice from those who sought to do me harm.

I spent three months at Camp Rollins, a facility in north Idaho set up to help men in situations like mine. After my return, I was, for all practical purposes, a completely new man. Adrestia bestowed upon me a gift, something she called a “command voice” that allows me to make anyone do anything. With her guidance and Eli’s tutelage, I have learned to use that gift for the good of those who seek my help.

After I dealt with my now ex-wife and her accomplices, I started the Burnage Agency to help people deal with cases of extreme marital betrayal and infidelity. Both Eli and Adrestia have lived up to their promises, providing me with the tools and the guidance to do my job. Adrestia even provided me with the software and systems I would need to monitor anyone, anywhere on the planet.

And for those who are wondering, yes, Adrestia and I are in a fully-committed exclusive relationship. It’s a bit difficult to explain – maybe I’ll do that in an upcoming episode.

I’m an accountant by trade, and not a writer, so I am grateful that Saddletramp1956 accepted my invitation to shadow me on some of my cases. This is just one of my stories. At my request, the names of those involved have been changed to protect the innocent.

...

Max walked up the flight of stairs to his wife’s office, opened the door and looked inside. There she was, sitting at her desk, going over a file as video played on the large monitor mounted on the wall. He admired her beauty for a bit before he walked inside.

A petite woman, long wavy blonde hair cascading over her shoulders, framing the face of an angel, sat at the desk that took up much of the cluttered and crowded office space. To most, she appeared to be somewhere in her mid-20s. But Max knew better. In reality, she was as old as the human race itself. Perhaps a bit older.

He knew her as Adrestia, although she had been given a number of names over the years by a number of different cultures – Tye and Nemesis being just two of them. Well-meaning men had crafted statues of her, wearing a long robe and wielding a double-edged sword. But try as they might, they never did capture her true beauty, which Max knew transcended her lovely form. She smiled as she looked up at him.

“Admiring me from afar, my dear Max?” she asked.

“I love looking at you, dear,” he said as he came in the office and closed the door. “Sorry I’m late, sweetheart,” he added as he gave her a kiss. “Traffic on the Interstate was horrific.”

“I saw that,” she said.

“So, I got your message,” he told her. “I got here as soon as I could. What’s going on?” She handed him a thick folder as he sat down, then poured them each a cup of hot tea – a special blend she crafted just for the two of them.

“A new case,” she said as she handed him a cup of tea. “It’s actually not new, but today was the first time I’ve been invoked.”

“What’s the story?” Max asked as he took a sip of tea.

“The victim is Terry Engels, a self-made entrepreneur who has since lost everything. He’s been married three times. His first wife humiliated and left him for his high school bully. He met his second wife as he plotted his revenge. He even sought help from a mercenary.

“His second wife left him for the same bully, screwing him out of much of his hard-earned money, so he switched tactics. That’s how he met his third wife. She also left him for the same man” she said.

“In fact, she just informed him that she was leaving him. That’s him, crying on the floor of his apartment.”

“What’s all that mess on the floor?” Max asked.

“Lasagna, broken dishes ... and semen,” Adrestia said.

“What?” Max asked, shocked.

“Semen,” Adrestia repeated. “You know...”

“Yeah, I do, but how did it get there?” he asked.

“Courtesy of his wife and the bully. The bully provided it and she put it in Terry’s lasagna.”

“That’s just sick,” Max said.

“I agree,” Adrestia said. “It’s not the first time something like that has happened. It’s all in the file.”

“Sounds like a stalker, this bully,” Max said. “What’s his story?”

“Name is Tim Johnson. He’s some kind of a jock. Played college ball, then went on to the pros. After an injury, he went into business for himself. Not much upstairs, but he does have a big dick and uses it to his advantage whenever he can,” Adrestia said.

“And you’ve seen this bully’s dick?” Max asked.

“Yes, I have, but you know that’s not what impresses me,” she replied with a smile. “At any rate, the woman who just left told Engels she’s been putting Johnson’s semen in his food and drink for some time. Says he gets off on it.”

“Sounds like a whole bunch of sick freaks to me,” Max said.

“Yes, they are,” she told him.

“So, why not just zap them off into the outer darkness somewhere,” Max asked. “Put them all in one of your portraits and hang it on the wall or something.”

“I thought about it,” she said. “And I still might. It’s just...”

“Just what, dear?” he asked her.

“Either one of us by ourselves could deal with these dirtbags without even breaking a sweat,” she said. Max was impressed that she used the term, “dirtbag.” He had used it often enough in her presence. “But Engels has been screwed over by every single person he’s associated himself with. Even if we made them all disappear or fed them all to the dogs, it wouldn’t change things for him one bit.”

“What are you suggesting?” Max asked.

“Perhaps we should change our strategy a bit,” she said. “I’m talking a complete restoration. It’ll take a bit longer, but I think it would pay off in the long run.” They looked at the monitor and watched as Terry got off the floor and headed for his closet. Once inside, he opened a safe that had been placed in the wall. He pulled out a gun, inserted a magazine and chambered a round.

“Oh no,” Adrestia said, grabbing Max’s hand. “We need to intervene, right now.” The next thing Max knew, they were standing in Terry’s bedroom. Max saw Terry cock the semi-automatic pistol and start to place the barrel in his mouth.

“Put the gun down,” Max ordered, using his command voice. Terry jumped when he heard Max speak, and felt a strange vibration in his head. Feeling that he had no choice, he obeyed and put the pistol down on his bed. Max grabbed the pistol, cleared the round out of the chamber, ejected the magazine and put it on safe. He set the pistol and the magazine down on a nearby dresser.

“Who ... who are you people?” Terry stammered. “How did you get in here? Where did you come from?”

“My name is Max,” Max told him calmly. “This is my better half. You can call her Dr. A. We’re here to help you, son.”

“Help me?” Terry asked, tears falling down his face. “Really?”

“Really,” Adrestia said. “Come with us. No one will ever hurt you again. Trust me.” She took his hand, then took one of Max’s hands. The next thing they all knew, they were standing in Adrestia’s office. Terry looked around, shocked.

“What just happened?” he asked, confused. “Where are we? How did we get here so fast?”

“We’re back in my office,” Adrestia said. “Here, sit down. You’re probably feeling a bit of vertigo. That’s normal. Let me make you some tea. That’ll help you feel better.” Terry sat down in the chair Max set behind him as Adrestia turned on her tea pot.

“I still don’t understand,” Terry said. “How are you going to help me? And why? I can’t afford to pay you anything.”

“Don’t worry about money,” Max said. “We’re not going to charge you anything. Adrestia and I are in the business of helping people in situations like yours.”

“Adrestia?” Terry asked. “Are you two married or something?” Max smiled and looked at Adrestia.

“Yeah, you could say that,” he told Terry. By then Adrestia came around the desk with two cups of tea. She handed one to Max and the other to Terry. Terry sniffed the tea, then took a tentative sip. His face perked up as he swallowed. Max laughed.

“Her tea does that to me as well,” he said. “Go ahead, drink up. It’ll help clear your head.” Terry took another sip before setting the cup down.

“That’s ... delicious,” he said. “I’ve never had tea like that before.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Adrestia said. “It’s my own special blend. How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Terry said. “Thanks.”

“Listen, Terry, why don’t you relax and finish your tea,” Max said. “I need to talk with my wife for a few seconds, okay? Everything’s going to be just fine.”

“Yeah, sure,” Terry said. Max pulled Adrestia to the side and spoke to her quietly.

“I’ve got a couple ideas, but I really need to take a look at his file first,” Max said. Adrestia nodded her head.

“Okay,” she said. “You want to keep an eye on him overnight? I have a gallery showing in Baltimore at 7 pm tonight. I should have that situation under control in a day or two. Will that give you enough time to go over everything?”

“I think so,” he said. “But you know how much I hate it when you’re gone overnight.” She smiled and took his head in her hands.

“You know I’m always with you, even when I’m not physically there,” she said as she kissed him.

“I know you are, dear,” he said. “It’s just ... I miss feeling you next to me in bed.”

“And I miss you too,” she said. “You know all you have to do is close your eyes and think of me.”

“I know,” he said. “I just love you so much.”

“I love you too,” she said. “By the way,” she added after a few moments, hoping to change the subject. “I’ve included some video in Terry’s file if you want to review it. I should warn you, it’s pretty disgusting. I’ve also got a trace on Johnson and his harem. That should help a bit.”

“Thanks,” Max said. “Appreciate the heads up.” They kissed one last time and Max stood by Terry. “You ready to go?” he asked. Terry nodded his head.

“Where are we going?” he asked.

“My place,” Max said. “You’ll stay with me for the time being, at least until we have a strategy in place.”

“I’ll need a few things,” Terry said.

“Already taken care of,” Adrestia said. Terry looked between Max and Adrestia, confused.

“How...”

“Don’t ask,” Max told him with a smile. “C’mon, let’s go.” He gave Adrestia one last kiss before he headed out.

“I’ll be in touch,” she said quietly.

“Okay,” he said. “Be careful out there.” She chuckled at that. She thought it was sweet the way he looked out for her well-being. Of course, he knew there was no force on Earth that could harm her. Still, he remained concerned for her safety.

“I will, my love,” she said. Max and Terry walked out of the office and headed to his car. Terry looked at Max as he pulled out.

“How is your wife going to make it to Baltimore by 7? It’s already after 5:30 now,” Terry said.

“Trade secret,” Max said with a smile.

“Oh,” Terry said. “So, your wife is a doctor?”

“Yes,” Max said. “She has doctorates in a number of disciplines.”

“She doesn’t look old enough to be a doctor,” Terry said.

“She’s a bit older than she looks,” Max said. By a few thousand years, he added to himself.

“So, how are you going to help me?” Terry asked.

“Not sure yet,” Max said. “I’ll be going over your file tonight. I’ll have a better idea in a day or so. Don’t worry, we’ll get your situation under control.”

“You have a file on me?” Terry asked, suspicious.

“Of course,” Max said. “Dr. A has a file on every marriage. It’s part of her job.”

“I ... see,” Terry said quietly. Confused, he wondered just who this mysterious Dr. A really was and why she would have a file on him. Finally, they pulled into a driveway and Max turned the engine off after entering the garage.

“Help yourself to whatever you need,” Max said. “There’s some munchies in the fridge and the cupboard, and of course, you can make yourself some tea if you wish. Your stuff is already in the guest room. Upstairs, first door on your right. You can watch television down here, or up in your room. There’s a bathroom just down the hall to your right if you need to use it. I’m going to grab a beer and head into my office for a bit. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Okay,” Terry said. “Thanks.”

Once certain that Terry was settled for the evening, Max went into his office. He pulled a beer from his small refrigerator, lit one of the cigarettes he got from Eli and began scanning the nearly 100-page long report.

From what he could glean, in high school, Terry could best be described as a “nerd,” the stereotypical “98-pound weakling” who seemed to invite abuse by his mere presence. Naturally, Johnson, being a major bully in high school, was one of Terry’s primary antagonists, repeatedly beating him up and tossing him in a dumpster outside the school building.

Donna, Terry’s first wife, was one of Johnson’s many girlfriends in high school. Terry had a crush on her, but never seemed to get anywhere until he went to college. That was where Terry shined. He became a whiz in computer programming and business and developed a software package that ultimately made him a multi-millionaire before he even graduated from college.

He started a company with one of his classmates and the two of them got even richer as time went on. Donna married Terry, having convinced him that she loved him. For a few years, everything seemed to be fine between the two of them.

Then came his 10th high school reunion. That was when Johnson cuckolded him with Donna and left him in the old dumpster at their high school. Donna confessed that she had been screwing his business partner – a man Terry considered a friend. She also confessed to screwing everyone else in Terry’s close circle, including the attorney who handled his business affairs.

The divorce was ugly and cost Terry much of his hard-earned money. On top of that, he ended the partnership and lost over half of what he had earned. The business went belly-up and Terry was forced to start from scratch.

It took three years for him to recover enough of what he had lost to start over. He met a new woman – Kayla – and planned his revenge against Johnson. He went so far as to consult with a mercenary, but ditched that idea.

He spent some time seeing a therapist and that helped, but he didn’t stick with the therapy and soon found himself falling for Kayla. He decided to go after Johnson’s business, thinking that would be the ticket to bringing the man down.

But his plan backfired when Kayla, who worked for a bank, met Johnson in person. She was immediately taken in by him and his giant cock, and turned on Terry. At the meeting in which Terry was supposed to take Johnson’s assets – much of which had come from him to begin with – he was faced with the spectacle of his second wife screwing Johnson.

But there was more. Not only had Johnson – with help from Kayla – turned the tables against Terry, he had somehow forced Terry to actually drink his semen from a coffee cup. The incident was recorded and on the DVD for his review. Just reading the entry made Max throw up a bit in his mouth.

Having been done in twice by Johnson, Terry was homeless and on the verge of suicide. About a year later, he met his third wife, Amber, at a church where he went for food, shelter, and the occasional period of relief from his now-destroyed life.

Amber helped Terry get back on his feet – not by giving him money, sex, food or shelter. Instead, she gave him emotional support and friendship. He finally got a job as a paper boy, then later began working at a paper mill, where he finally earned enough to rent a small apartment.

She encouraged him to face Tim one last time, which he did. During that encounter, Amber saw just how evil Johnson and Terry’s two previous wives really were. Unfortunately, that did not stop her from being drawn to Johnson.

They got married, and were happy – in every way except for one. One day, when Terry came home from work, he caught Amber and Johnson in his bed. He heard her call him her master while begging for his cock. He heard Johnson talk down to her while demeaning him as he always did.

When he went into the bedroom to confront Johnson, he slipped on a puddle of cum and urine on the wood floor and went down, hitting his head. Johnson used that opening to assault Terry, tying his hands and feet with electrical cords from the bedroom lamps he broke.

After tying Terry to a kitchen chair, Amber admitted she had been screwing Johnson ever since the first day she saw him. Devastated, Terry finally decided to let her have her fling with Johnson, hoping that it would pass and he would win her back.

But it didn’t work out that way. One day, Amber called to tell Terry she wasn’t coming back to him. Johnson said she was now part of his harem and would be staying with him. On that day, Terry had pulled some leftover lasagna from the refrigerator and was eating it when she called.

That’s when she informed him that Johnson had her put his cum in whatever she made for him.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Well, not really. Tim likes me to do this little thing to you. He liked to have me put his cum in your food and your drinks.

“And you know what? I thought it was funny, too. He would give me containers of his cum to put in things I made for you. It was even in your wedding cake. Sometimes, when he was at our place he would masturbate directly into whatever I was making for you. I think you’ve probably swallowed as much of his cum as I have.”

“By the way,” she continued. “How’s the lasagna?” That’s when Terry realized what she had done. The written report ended at that point. Max knew that was where he had walked into Adrestia’s office. He pulled out a DVD that was in a plastic sleeve in the binder and popped it into his computer.

He briefly scanned through the video files, but was so disgusted by the depravity he turned it off after just a few moments. Sickened, he made himself a cup of tea, then stepped out back to smoke a cigarette and think. His heart went out to Terry and he felt an overwhelming urge to personally rip Johnson’s heart out.

What Johnson had done over the course of about 15 years was bad enough. But he had help – lots of it. The three women Terry had invested his love into had all turned on him in ways that made him sick to his stomach. They all had to pay. But how?

There was no question in Max’s mind that Terry needed serious help. And, he thought, the best place for that was in the mountains of north Idaho, where his body and mind could be cleansed of what had been done to him. He recalled his own time there after what his first wife tried to do to him.

But, he thought, Johnson and the three women needed to pay for what they had done, and he didn’t want them free to interfere with Terry’s training. They needed to be held somewhere, but where? He finished his tea and cigarette, then went upstairs. He looked in on Terry and saw him on his side, curled in a fetal position.

He went into his own bedroom, brushed his teeth and went to bed. His last thoughts as he closed his eyes were of Adrestia. As he slept, she came to him in his dreams, naked as always. They embraced each other and lay under a tree after making tender love.

“How are things in Baltimore?” he asked.

“As you would say, they are ‘under control,’” she said.

“Good,” he said. “So you’ll be home tomorrow?”

“Yes, I plan to be back tomorrow. Have you reached a decision about Terry?”

“I have,” he said. “I’ve gone through the file and watched the videos. I believe he needs to spend some time at Camp Rollins.”

“I thought you might say that,” she told him as she ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve taken the liberty of putting him on next month’s class roster. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all, my dear. I’m surprised you had the time to take care of that.”

“I AM a goddess, after all,” she said with a laugh. “I can multi-task, you know.” He chuckled at that.

“I’m concerned about Johnson and his so-called harem, though,” he told her. “I really think they need to be out-of-pocket while Terry’s gone. I don’t want them interfering with his training in any way. Any ideas?”

“I’m sure Eli can help out with that,” she said. “I’ll reach out to him.” Max turned over and regarded Adrestia for a few moments. “What’s on your mind?” she asked.

“Reading that file ... Watching those videos ... I’ve never seen or read anything so sick and depraved in my life. It makes me realize just how blessed I am to have you,” he said. She smiled and kissed him.

“You know that works both ways, my dear husband,” she said. “After what I’ve seen all these millennia, I feel truly blessed to have you. I love you more than you can possibly imagine.”

“And I love you even more, my dear goddess,” he said, kissing her pretty face.

“Rest in my arms, my love,” she told him. “Unlike me, you need your sleep. I will make sure all your dreams are sweet.” He smiled as he leaned into her bosom and drifted into a deep sleep as she softly sang an ancient lullaby.

The next morning, he awoke feeling happy and refreshed. After his morning ritual, he got dressed, made a phone call and went downstairs where he made a fresh pot of coffee. He saw Terry make his way down the stairs and invited him to sit at the counter.

“Care for some breakfast?” he asked.

“Yeah, that sounds good, thanks,” Terry said.

“How did you sleep last night?” Max asked.

“Alright, I guess,” Terry told him as he sat down. “Could’ve been better.” The coffee finished brewing, so Max poured two cups. He set one in front of Terry, and watched as he poured some cream and sugar into it. Max finished making the eggs and bacon and put some on a plate for Terry, then grabbed some for himself.

“So, tell me Terry, have you ever been to Idaho?” Max asked. Terry stopped chewing and looked at Max, confused.

“Idaho?” Terry asked after swallowing his food. “No, can’t say that I have. Why?”

“Beautiful country up there, especially in the northern part of the state,” Max said. “Fresh air, mountains, pine trees. Just the thing a fella like you needs right about now.”

“Are you sending me off to Idaho?” Terry asked.

“Yeah,” Max said. “There’s a special camp up there for guys in your situation. They have a three-month course I think will do you a world of good. I know it helped me out a lot.”

“Three months?” Terry asked. “What about my job? My apartment? I can’t be gone that long. Besides, I can’t afford something like that.”

“It’s already been taken care of,” Max said. “I spoke with your boss early this morning and filled him in. He’s been concerned about you for quite a while now.”

“You told my boss what I’ve been going through?” Terry asked, shocked.

“Actually, he filled in some of the blank spots for me,” Max said. “It seems Johnson and your wife haven’t exactly been discreet about their activities. From what your boss told me, pretty much everyone at the mill knows what’s been going on.”

“Everyone already knows? And no one told me?” Terry asked as tears fell down his face. “All this time I thought they were my friends.”

“I know it hurts like hell, Terry,” Max said. “Anyway, your boss thinks the world of you and says your job is safe. He’s put you on a leave of absence for the next four months. Said to get yourself squared away.”

“So when do I leave for Idaho?” Terry asked.

“Your class starts at the beginning of the month,” Max said. “That just under two weeks from today.”

“What about Johnson and my wife?” he asked.

“They won’t be able to touch you,” Max said. “Adrestia is taking care of that.”

“Why are the two of you helping me like this?” Terry asked. “What do you want from me? I’ll never be able to repay you for all this.”

“It’s what we do,” Max said. “You can repay us by living a good life.”

“So what’s this camp like?” Terry asked.

“It’s tougher than anything you can imagine,” Max said. “You seem to be in pretty good shape from your job, so I don’t think you’ll have a lot of trouble with the physical part. A lot of the guys who go there are in a lot worse shape than you. Hell, you’re in better shape than I was when I went. It’s also tough mentally. But if you stick with it, you’ll come out a new man. Plus, you’ll have a support system that’ll be there for you anytime you need it.”

“I suppose it’s better than spending the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself,” Terry said. Max nodded his head.

“I agree,” he said. He walked to the door, grabbed his trench coat and his fedora and put them on. He turned back to Terry. “I’m going to the office, see what else I can dig up on Johnson. You stay here. Rest, watch television, whatever. If you get hungry, help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge. There’s tea bags if you want something to drink. Don’t go anywhere and don’t answer the door for anyone. Got it?”

Feeling the strange vibration in his head, Terry nodded. “I got it,” he said.

“I’ll be back this evening. Call me if you need anything,” Max added, handing Terry a business card. Terry took the card and Max left.

“Good morning, Sally,” Max said as he walked into his office. “Anything going on this morning?”

“Good morning, Mr. Burnage,” the attractive receptionist said. “No, it’s been pretty quiet so far.”

“That’s actually good to hear,” he said in response. “Oh, and Sally, you know you can call me Max when it’s just the two of us.”

“I know ... Max. It just feels more right for me to call you Mr. Burnage, though.” He smiled and nodded his head.

“Okay, Sally, I understand. I’ll be in my office most of the day.” He went into his office where he hung up his coat and fedora. Then he sat down to his desk and fired up his laptop. As it booted up, he got a message on his phone. It was Adrestia: “Eli says it’s a go for this evening.”

“Excellent,” Max wrote back. “In the office now. Thanks. Love you!”

“Love you more,” Adrestia responded back with a string of heart emojis. He smiled and put his phone away. How many guys are lucky enough to get heart emojis from an immortal goddess like Adrestia, he thought to himself.

Seeing that his computer had booted up, he double-clicked the icon for an application Adrestia had just installed. According to her, it would give him access to any network on the planet that connected to the Internet. With it, he could read any document on the network without anyone ever knowing he was there.

She tried to explain it to him once, but after a few minutes of hearing her talk about tunnels and VPNs and proxy servers and backdoors and network ports, his eyes glazed over. He was a trained accountant, not a computer scientist. All he cared about was whether or not he could access what he needed, and he really wasn’t keen on knowing all the nuts and bolts about what it took to make it happen.

He knew Johnson’s company was called “Johnson Holdings, Inc.,” and he had the address of the company headquarters, so he entered that into the search tool. He was presented with three options, and chose the first since it appeared the closest to what he was looking for.

He watched a circle spin for a bit and was about to cancel, when he was suddenly presented with a menu of options. He looked and found what he was after – Financials. He chose that options and began looking through the various spreadsheets and documents.

He saw nothing that indicated any shady dealings or illegal activity, although he did see some things that he would’ve done differently. At face value, the company appeared to be stable, solvent, and growing at a nice steady pace. Of course, Max knew that a company could look good at first glance but fall apart under the weight of a full financial audit. He had seen it happen before.

He looked around a bit further and saw an entry for “Personnel.” He opened that and looked until he found Johnson’s name. He clicked there and was surprised to find a treasure trove of documents – including tax returns from previous years. He rummaged around and learned that, on paper, Johnson’s personal net worth seemed to be about $75 million. Max wondered how much of that he got from Terry.

He sat back and thought for a moment. There appeared to be no apparent motive for Johnson’s actions. He had already ruined Terry financially and emotionally. So why was he so bent on continuing to destroy the man? He looked back through the file Adrestia gave him and re-read Johnson’s statements to Terry.

Then it hit him – Johnson was simply a control freak who got off on destroying others. Once he got his hooks into someone, he simply wouldn’t stop until his target either submitted to him completely or ended his own life. In short, Johnson was an asshole who needed to be completely destroyed – squashed like the bug he is. He was brought back to reality when Sally opened the door and popped her head inside.