Chapter 45

Returning home, the girls had taken a limo that Stephen and Peter had set up. It played like a gesture of respect – they didn’t want it to seem like I had to come collect my well-fucked girlfriends like some cuck. I found it pretty thoughtful, as was Stephen’s text thanking me for being open-minded and inviting me to come to the movie set sometime to see how things were going.

As soon as they walked in the door, Kat’s lips met mine, and I was instantly transported back to one of the most memorable moments of my life: the first time we had ever kissed. She gave me the same butterflies, but it was emotionally more intense now. I also sensed something in her as she let the kiss linger. I wanted to ask what had happened. It hit me like a wave. Something was different. Something had changed. My urge was to come out and ask what it was. But I knew Kat. She would tell me when she was ready.

Jess had come home and gone straight to bed. Her nose was red, her eyes glazed and dark. She walked gingerly and smelled like sex. I didn’t need to ask about her weekend. I knew. I probably knew before she had even left it would be like this. Jess was Jess, and that had never been a problem for me.

Rita had made a quick shopping trip for new tennis outfits because she was playing in a local charity fundraiser tournament in a couple weeks. So that left a clingy, sweet, needy Kat snuggled up with me on the couch.

“Did you have fun?” I asked.

“I did,” Kat said. There was hesitation in her voice. “Yes and no.”

“I can tell you want to tell me something,” I said. “You can tell me all of it.”

“Not yet,” Kat said. “I’ll tell you every detail, like you promised, but.” She paused. “John.”

The sound of my name sent chills down my spine.

“We need to talk,” Kat said.

“Okay,” I said, and she could tell a sense of dread crawled across my skin.

Kat smiled and laughed.

“Not that kind of talk,” she said. “It was great. It really was fun. You know what I mean. It’s like when you’re with Juliet.”

“It’s like seeing how the other half lives,” I said.

“Even when we’re the other half now,” Kat said, her tone brightening.

“I know exactly what you mean, though,” I said, putting a hand on her leg. She shifted toward me more closely.

“I need to just come out and say this, okay?” Kat said.

“Kitty Kat,” I said, “you can always talk to me. You know that.”

“I didn’t let Stephen take my ass this weekend,” she said. “I made that promise, and I kept it. You’re the only man who gets my ass.”

“That’s actually very sweet,” I said.

“But I wanted him to,” she admitted. “I begged him to. But he wouldn’t do it.”

“Okay,” I said, a bit confused.

“That’s the factual baseline,” Kat explained. “I need you to know that’s what happened. But what I need to tell you is that it changed me.”

“How do you mean?” I asked.

“It’s hard to put it into words, so it’s going to be clumsy, and I’m just going to say it,” she said. “I felt like a failure when I asked Stephen to fuck me in the ass. And it led to a realization. This literally was a light-bulb moment.”

“You can just tell me,” I reassured her. “It’s okay.”

“The thrill was gone,” Kat said. “With Stephen, I mean. It was still like a dream and everything, but, John? I’m not that Kitty Kat anymore. She’s gone. She’s been fading away for a while now, but, for whatever reason, this weekend closed the door on that part of me.”

She looked me in the eyes, and I couldn’t form words, so she continued to talk.

“I don’t want other men anymore, even if it’s Stephen or someone like him,” she said. “It hit me that I have everything I need. I think I have finally emptied the Kitty Kat tank.”

“I’m sure it will refill,” I said lightly.

“Not that way,” she said confidently. “This is all so jumbled. What I’m saying is, John, that I’m ready to just commit to our relationship. I don’t need anything else. This completes me.”

She paused again.

“And there’s only one thing missing,” she said.

I looked at Kat, and she knew she didn’t need to say it. The way she spoke, how her body melded into mine, and the calm adoration that showed in her eyes told me everything.

“You’re ready to have a baby,” I said.

“It’s time,” she said. “I want that more – with you, with Jess and Rita – than I want anything else. Even more than the most famous actor in the world.”

We laughed. There were tears in the corner of her eyes.

“I’m as ready as you are,” I said.

“I know,” she said. “You’ve been so patient with me.”

“We needed to be in the right place for this to happen,” I said.

“I want to be a mom,” Kat said.

“It will suit you,” I said.

“I’m going to go cold turkey on coke and everything else,” she said.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “You can always ramp down. We don’t have to start trying today.”

“I’m sure,” she said. “You know how I am. When I decide something, it’s decided.”

“Do you want to wake up Jess?” I asked.

Kat shook her head.

“Let her sleep,” she said. “She needs it. I want to tell them when we’re all together.”

I hugged Kat close to me, and we kissed again, and once more it felt like that first time. My hand wandered around her body.

“Do you want to reclaim me?” she asked quietly. “It’s going to be the last time you ever have the chance to do it.”

“Yes,” I said softly. “Let’s turn the page.”

Kat kissed me and said, “No. We’re starting a brand new book.”

“I like that,” I said and pulled off her tight polo-style tennis shirt.