Chapter 10

At the brain-rattling buzz of the alarm, I slapped hard enough to send my phone flying from the bedside table before rising with a groan. My final beach run. As I scratched my fingers through my matted hair, my heart still stuttered from the lingering magic of last night’s encounter. No guilt. Not an iota of remorse. Indeed, with a sigh while I stretched my limbs atop the mattress, the physical, and emotional, relief after years without sex of any kind, other than solo, was Zen-like.

The memory of Rachel’s sexy grin over her silk-covered shoulder as she disappeared behind my door ... Instead of racing, my heart beat remained measured. Though her lingering perfume and sweet aroma drifted into my nostrils, the universe simply calmed. More than anything else, I’d simply miss her. Her eyes; the way they twinkled. The deep russet shine in her dark hair as it wavered in the sunlight. Her laugh—that impish chuckle and grin. Her—everything. And the memories ... Not even the thought of returning to my boring world could remove the satisfied smile from my face.

After dressing, I tugged open the room door and scanned the hall, hoping against all hope to see Rachel. Though, of course, she wasn’t there. As I trudged to the gym, already reviewing my plan to retrieve Sandy from her father’s place after breakfast, sigh after lengthy sigh slid from me. Heading home. To our mundane life. To our dead as a doorknob bedroom.

Zen ended, my smile faded, and I found myself gritting my teeth while finishing the last set of weights with a tired, sad grunt.

It was an underwhelming workout; the exhaustion from last night’s—lovemaking lingered. That wasn’t “fucking.” When our eyes met as we kissed. No, fuck-buddies didn’t do that, I guessed. The sparkles in Rachel’s eyes. The synchronized, slow unity we’d shared. There was more there than mere physical attraction. At least for me.

Not that any of my thoughts mattered. It’d been one time. Special. But unique. Regular life awaited me; the return of reality.

When I staggered from the hotel into the early morning darkness, I let go a huge yawn and rolled my aching shoulders. Even knowing Rachel and Greg were heading to Charlotte, I caught myself looking around. Though I didn’t actually expect to see her, I hoped. Hope, it springs eternal, right?

Well, hope be damned, there was no sign of Rachel. She’d had her fun. Hell, who was I kidding? We’d shared something special, and I’d also enjoyed it. But ... the real world awaited us both.

With another long exhale, I started my stretches and was soon grunting and groaning to release the aches from last night’s “workout.” A chuckle, well more like a choked sob, stuttered from me as I swayed in the faint illumination of the distant parking lot lights.

At the sound of the doors sliding open, I rolled my head to look up. The dim world darkened, blurred, and disappeared behind her as Rachel stepped closer, a tight wince on her face and walking with a stiff gait. When her eyes met mine, my heart hammered, then seized.

It’s tough to explain. Silence, but for the buzz of insects and the distant lights, engulfed us as the universe stopped spinning. When she halted next to me, millions of words flew between us. Was it right? What we’d done. Did we care? Are you okay? Yes, are you? I want you. I need you too. It was cheating. I know, I still don’t care. Me neither.

When my trembling arms raised as if to grasp Rachel, we both glanced at them. Then her gleaming emerald pools once more met mine; I let my grasping hands fall away. If I’d taken her in my arms, we would’ve kissed, she would’ve thrown herself hard against me, and again we would’ve made love. Right there in the shadowy parking lot. Against the wall. Over and over.

The damp spot between Rachel’s trembling legs, along with the faint aromas of her syrupy need, her delicate perfume and flowery soap, were driving my heart rate into the stratosphere. That twinkle in her eyes. Her parted glossy lips. She’d been thinking about meeting me out here all morning. Perhaps all night. When she glanced at my bulging shorts, she swallowed. After returning her eyes to mine, she nodded.

One occasion. Only. It’d been wonderful. But no more. Too dangerous. Rachel had too much to lose. Far more than me, that was for sure. Except ... Except that gleam slithered around in her eyes.

No, I couldn’t let Rachel risk her life. As amazing as she was, that ... That would definitely not be right. Or fair. My life was already fucked up. Ha, in my case, my life was about as far from involving “fucking” as one’s could be. When a chuckle slipped from me, her eyebrows arched.

With a sigh, I turned from Rachel and started across the asphalt towards the distant roar of the waves. She could run her own route at her own pace, like she would from now on.

For reasons I didn’t fully grasp, I made it a dozen paces before reversing. Perhaps, simply one last chance to be in her presence? With my gaze off her and locked on the lightening clouds, I jogged in place while she stretched. When Rachel stepped off with a grunt and a wince, I kept to a slow pace. At her discomfort, only then did pangs of guilt race through me. Last night, it’d been such a long time for me, and I’d been too rough.

No matter, she’d have the rest of her life to recover and forget about me. Although, I’d never forget her. Ever.

As she found her stride, I slowed once again until we jogged side-by-side. One last time. While jogging past the rental condos and heading towards the beach, our breathing synchronized. Our footfalls became one, crunching on the sand-covered asphalt. United, we ran as the calls of gulls and the steady rolling tide joined with our matched breaths.

The white surf line shone in the pre-dawn darkness as we crossed a wooden bridge over swaying seagrass. Once on the damp, hard-packed sand, neither of us spoke. It was a sublime morning, darker than usual because of lingering clouds on the horizon. The gentle lapping of the waves provided a surging phosphorescent guide to the shoreline, and we turned parallel to the beach. It was also quieter than usual. The distant streetlights seemed dimmer. The crunching of our shoes on the shore was hypnotic.

My mind wandered. All that we’d done was well and good. And done. But what would I say to Sandy? Should I tell Sandy? Maybe she’d change if she knew I actually could have a lover. But not Rachel. No, not her again. She had her own life. But perhaps I could find another woman similar to her.

With a grunt, I shook my head at my stupidity. You don’t just replicate lightning in a bottle. This had been amazing, but it was no fairy tale. Rachel would return home. So would I. Our lives would diverge back to our realities. And, no, there was nobody in the world like Rachel. Nobody. My everything. A groan slipped under my breath as my heart stuttered, trying to decide what it should be doing. Race at having her so close to me? Or sink, knowing I’d lose her forever in mere hours?

Well, at least we’d have this one last run together.

“What happens to Jenna next?”

Since the surf and my swirling internal discussion were distracting me, I ran on several steps before Rachel’s low voice registered. Really? More of that stupid story? Where could this go? We’d had our fun. And that was that. No time for more “performance” reading ... or writing. Whatever it was. I had to finish packing. She had to head to Charlotte. Heck, I didn’t even know if that was her home.

About to grumble, I glanced at her. Yeh, decision made—my heart fucking raced. Those emerald pools gleamed, reflecting the first slivers of muted orange sunlight. We still had a few hours. A little more entertainment? Before we parted—forever.

With a gulp, I looked straight ahead and once more spoke.

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