Chapter 8: Arquis’s House

“Falling into bed was very good.” Arquis said, “I’m seventy-three. Between being a mage and part elf, I’m still on the young side. Compared to your “girls” that’s probably forever and a day. How old are you?”

“Just short of a century, I’m ninety-seven. I should live for a very long time. My Great Uncle lived into his four-hundreds. I work hard and mostly eat my own food, and I eat plenty, so I stay healthy as a bear. Have you had any children?”

“No children yet. I have found most mages to be foppish and vain, effeminate even. Not one of them interested me slightly, let alone got me feeling sexy. Then, a non-magical person just wouldn’t do. Magic breeds magic, where non-magical people could degenerate the ability. Can you even get pregnant from a non-magical person? I have not heard of it.”

She continues, “When you let me hold you, my friend, you sent a jolt directly to my cunt and tits. Your manly odor and your no-nonsense bearing struck a chord deep in me somehow. You bagged yourself a seventy-three-year-old virgin. You were my first.”

“For crying out loud, yet another virgin! You sure didn’t act like one. There was no timidness or fear.”

“I have been waiting for a proper suitor for quite a few years. I must be too discerning, but have yearned for a proper mate seemingly forever? Of course, I was deeply invested in our little tryst. How could I not be passionate after that extremely long wait? A good man is hard to find, it’s even better if he’s hard when you do find him. You get to see the quality of the goods. Then, there’s no doubt about his interest, none at all.”

“So, you’re going to stay in town? You don’t want to meet the girls now?”

“I can meet them some other time. I hope you’re not going to run home and say “Honeys, I found another woman in town, and boy is she ever great in the sack.” That could be decidedly dangerous for your future home life.”

“Um, not looking forward to that meeting. My concern is that this can not stay a secret for long. Not in this town. The longer we stay secret, the bigger the blow-up will be. Not good. Not good at all.”

“So, why did you just drop right into bed with me? I know I am somewhat comely, but you didn’t even hesitate at all.”

“Well, I shouldn’t tell you, but not all is rosy at the Crag household. Siggy, my human girlfriend, is in her monthlies, which makes her grumpier than usual. Garnet, the resident giantess, is being a right bitch about almost everything. Most likely it’s caused by morning sickness and maybe Siggy fires her up a little. The two together have gotten to be a bit much, if one is upset, they both are.”

“They feed upon each other and I feel like I have to keep putting up with their bullshit. I do this in hope of us getting back to a calm place. It’s worn me down. To be honest I was at wit’s end when I came to town.”

“Even before meeting you, I was thinking about staying in town. I wanted to get some personal space, maybe some peace of mind. I wanted to get my thinking back to where it should be. It’s dangerous in the wild when your mind is wandering all over the place worrying over bullshit.”

“Maybe I thought by worrying about them not coming home today, It might have a positive impact on their behavior. I know I’m not going to continue putting up with their crap. I think I have been too kind, and now they go too far, getting worse and worse.”

“They feel entitled to blow up everything they imagine is an issue. They take it out on me as I’m the convenient target. I say they imagine things because their moodiness is the real problem. Until recently everything was fine.”

“I don’t really know how to go on with them. I was happier before I met them than I am now. Yes, I think I’m done with their bad behavior. Do I care if they get upset? Not really. After many months of sex every night, They pressed me into a pattern. Being cut off from sex for almost a week had me as horny as a two-peckered billy-goat in springtime.”

She said, “We didn’t resolve our sordid secret issue.”

“I don’t know. At this point, I am getting to a place where I don’t know if I care. I have spent most of my life alone. We giant men like solitude. This amplifies the reasoning. Giantesses can be very bitchy. Men need time to think about things. Make decisions. To create things.”

“Women seem to complicate everything, a lot! Two of them fill the room with incessant chatter. I have no word for how they seem to hem me in. A loss of freedom, yes, but worse, a complete loss of control of my home life. I don’t have room to just think my own thoughts. They are always wanting me to do something. I don’t seem to have room to just exist anymore. Better me being alone than this!”

“Then there is the incessant chatter. Yak yak yak. No matter what I am doing, I get chatter. Sometimes it’s incessant. How can you even formulate a thought?

“Present person excluded, of course, Arquis, because I don’t know you very well. Besides, you’re not really trying to move in on me and totally control my life, my every waking moment. The girls have really taken over my life, I kind of feel like I’ve been overrun by vermin or something. Dammit!”

Arquis said, “OK, let me rephrase this. Are we a secret affair, or are we free to go out in public together and damn the idiotic behaving girls? I’m getting hungry.”

“Sorry. That question I can answer. I would be proud to be seen with you if I am not an embarrassment by way of my birth or station to you. As for the girls, fuck em!”

Arquis said, “The folks here don’t know me. You have the high ground here in this area because of the services you already provide them. They know you well. Since I’m the unknown, our status is whatever we make of it here in the wilds of Centralia, don’t you think?”

“That’s fine for me. I intended to stay in town tonight. Should I get my own room?”

“No, you’re perfectly welcome here. We will save a half silver. I’ll pay the difference for the cost of your breakfast.”

“And I’ll pay for dinner tonight, does this sound good?”

“Yes, but you mustn’t worry overly about money on my account. I am prosperous on my own. I have done well working as a mage.”

“Where do your talents lay?”

“Well, I’m not good at fighting. I think I’m not inclined that way, but I can more than protect myself.”

She continues, “I do well with plants and animals. I’m good at healing. I really excel at making and infusing charms, that’s where I made most of my money. Love charms, charms for good health, charms for a brighter intelligence. These are the most popular charms. I don’t do negative things or dark magic, which makes me feel quite unpleasant and grungy somehow. Not my cup of tea”

“It’s not that I can’t do higher-level magic, because I can. I’m much more comfortable doing the things I like to do, and at my pace. Like you, I don’t do well when people push me into doing things they want me to do.

Continues, “I think I should warn you, my worst talent or bad habit is that I can’t stomach meanness or rude treatment of me or others. I don’t tolerate it well. I have been known to become quite merciless in my dealings with assholes.”

Crag said, “Oh. You just summed up my basic philosophy on life. Do what you like or need. Serving others at your discretion. Doing things you hate all your life is not living to me. It’s servitude, pure and simple. I can’t understand someone working their whole life without the joy of doing what you like. Then, there’s the satisfaction you get from doing something well. I understand doing some things for the family. Yet I think working for others all the time, without great return, sucks your life away.”

“It’s that way for me too, Crag. So, you are staying with me? We can clean up a little and then go down for some dinner together and start those tongues wagging.”

“I will, my dear. Might as well get it over with. They all know Siggy and Garnet here. If they ask questions, try to avoid getting snooty with them. Let me handle it. They don’t know you are a mage with powers. They know I can get short-tempered if pushed. They are aware I know how to crack heads so I expect a few tacky questions or evil looks.”

“No brag?”

“Not really. I’m the local ranger and have handled many would-be bad people. Mostly it’s someone too deep in their cups. I’ve even dispatched a few criminals when necessary. Don’t like it, but I don’t tolerate criminals that challenge me. Baron Wexter trusts me. I have rarely had to bring anyone to the magistrate or before him. He likes the low hassle way I run things here.”

We chatted lightly as we cleaned up and dressed for dinner. We went down to the pub and got seated. Then we placed our orders. Arquis started asking me questions about my upbringing. I didn’t get a chance to ask her much as she concentrated on me until I was quite uncomfortable.