Chapter 11

“Hello, Josiane, does this belong to you?” I asked her.

“More like I belong to it. Did you need to bring ‘it’ here? I don’t need another beating.”

“That’s why I’m here. This shire is my responsibility. This piece of shit (I shook him by his collar) has broken the peace once too many times. I am of the mind to banish him. He’s drunk all the time, I never see him do anything, so he seems vagrant. He’s obviously attacked you and he picked a fight with me. So let’s see, public intoxication, disturbing the peace, incitement. The final straw for me, he beats on women. That’s something I absolutely do NOT tolerate, that’s why I’m here. I would prefer to banish him, but I want your opinion. How bad do you need him?”

“What about the house? He owns the house, doesn’t he?”

“Not exactly. All land here is leased.”

“So he’s leased this place?”

“Well, no. His father leased the lot for 100 years. Usually, I transfer the lease to relatives at death or abandonment. He inherited it from his mother. It has around 65 years left to run on the lease. If he’s not here the house becomes yours.”

About that time Tork started to move. I choked him out again. I did not care much for him and if he died by accident or mishap it would be a small loss to anyone.

“Wow, you did that so easily. I wish I could choke the living daylights out of him. He’s an evil man and has tortured me since I arrived here. I was so ashamed and didn’t think anyone would ever help me.”

“Well, a little late now, but I am a ranger and the law around here. Most folks know to let the bartender at the pub know when something is not right. I check in with him often and take care of problems.” (Shakes Tork again)

“Who do I talk to about the lease?”

“You just did. I own all the land here. My mountain over there,” (points) “and all the way to Waylet Mountain across from the village. It includes the short section of the Little River, it’s all mine. It has been in our family for over a thousand years. It’s a fiefdom held under patent from the King, I report directly to the Baron.”

He continues, “Originally there was no village, but people liked the remote area and the freedom. Its freedom from the government is mostly because of its remoteness. It’s not the normal fief where farmers plant crops and the lord steals most of the profit. I own the land and most of the folks like it here.”

“So if I asked you to get rid of the trash here, I can live on here in this house without him?”

“You’re his wife, so yes. If he leaves you, which I intend, you take possession of the house and lot it sits on. He abandoned it.”

“What happens after the lease expires?”

“Hmm, that’s sort of a secret. Nothing happens. I only take the land back if it’s been abandoned. Keep that fact close to you. I want there to be a village here. Charging too much or too often for a lease is going back on the original deal my fore-bearers started with, and I feel it’s cheating people to charge them over and over again. I keep it easy and low-cost to live here. So, how are you going to manage without dip-shit, here?”

“I work in the laundry at the inn. The maids bring the linens down and I wash them and hang them up to dry. Later I iron them. It’s not much, but he (points) steals most of the money for his drinking. The inn pays me and he turns around and drinks it up. It’s my own circle of life.”

“So, that’s why you’re so thin-looking? This asshole has been stealing your money for drinking, and he lets you starve?”

“That’s the short version of the story. He hates how I look so we never have sex lately, but he’s the cause. No money for food, he uses it to go get drunk. I am constantly covered in bruises and cuts and have been underfed for a long time now. So then he beats me even worse. I have been so worried I would die soon, I didn’t think I could go on much further.”

“Give me the word, and this excrement is going for a river cruise elsewhere and banished from the shire. I will make it official by informing Baron Wexter of the charges, my findings, and the banishment.”

“You can do that?”

“Yes. Did people at the inn know about him and his treatment of you?”

“Yes, why?”

“That makes them accessories to his crimes. I am angry about that and I will have words with them as soon as I take the trash out. I will leave you for now, but I will be back soon to see about your cuts and bruises.”

I dragged Tork out and down to the river. He started to wake up.

“What, what are you doing?”

“I’m taking out the trash, are you stupid as well as vicious to women? You are hereby banished. You’re leaving on the first barge north.”

“You can’t do that, I have rights.”

“I’m the LAW here Tork. I can very well do as I chose as I’m the fief holder hereabouts AND the ranger.”

“Tork Joris, I find you guilty of the following charges; public intoxication, breaking the peace, incitement, provoking words, spousal abuse, spousal neglect, and attempted murder - of your own wife. You are hereby banished from this shire for life. Notification of the charges and my ruling will be delivered to the Baron.”

“You can’t do that. I own that house. I didn’t do anything.”

“What happened to Compt Hieman?”

“He was banished for theft, that’s different.”

“Not really, he did less than you. There are seven charges I am placing against you. You are banished like Hieman. Your other choice was that I put you in the stocks and give you 20 lashes in public, and three days in the stocks, no food or water.”

“I didn’t ask you because I know what a pussy you are. You couldn’t take 20 lashes from me. There are lashes, and then there are MY lashes. I’d kill you for beating a woman. So, want the lashes and banishment, or skip right to the banishment?”

“What about my wife?”

“What wife? You’re abandoning her right now. She is your heir so she gets the house. She’s a single woman now.”

“WHAT! You can’t do that.”

“Ha, ha. I did it, you little turd. Your name will be Turd around here from now on, rather than Tork, or are you thinking about the lashes? Hahaha, Be happy to...”

“Woe is me.”

“Those 20 lashes are really looking better and better to me, so shut the fuck up. Here we are.” I stopped at the riverfront and looked up and down the river.

There was one barge. I dragged him to the barge. “Ah, Simret, good to see you, friend. Are you leaving today?”

“Yes, Crag. What’s that you have there?”

“Trash. A petty criminal. A wife-beater that’s been found guilty. He’s banished. I would appreciate it if you’d drop him off outside of our shire.”

“He can’t do that to me. I’m an important man around here.”

“Did I not just tell you to shut the fuck up? (Smack!) You are neither a man nor important. You’re a vagrant troublemaker. You shit, you live off your wife’s wages, beat and starve her. Are you saying you’ll take the 20 lashes? I would prefer that myself. I haven’t given a good lashing in over a decade. I kind of miss it. 20 lashes, then?”

“No lashes.” I saw the fight go out of him. Here at the river, it became suddenly real for the little monster.

“Crag, I’ll need 15 coppers for his food.”

“15 Coppers? Seems steep to me for a single piece of bread and a sip of river water. Tell you what, I’ll give you the 15 coppers just to take this garbage away. Don’t feed him. He’s been stealing his wife’s pay to drink up her money at the pub. He should feel some of what she has been feeling.”

“Feel free to punch and kick him. Fuckin’ wife-beater. Simret, she’s a very sweet and kind woman. It might be different if she’d deserved it.”

Simret spit in his hand, I spit in mine and we shook on the deal. I pulled out the coppers from my purse and handed them to him.

“If this Turd, that’s his new name now, if Turd becomes a problem, throw him overboard. Do it near a swamp with big crocodiles. If you want to tie him up and gag him now, this is a good time to do it while I can hold him.”

I pulled some raw leather lashings out of my pockets. I kept them for just this reason. Simtret and I moved him out of the way, I tied the lashings and then Simret found a dirty-looking rag to gag the little shit-head.

“Turd...” He didn’t look at me so I slapped him hard.

“Do I have your attention now? Do you know the punishment for returning here? Death. I will pass the word around town, that if anyone sees you, they are to kill you on sight, you understand that?”