You went psychotic afternoon
acted invisible
and chased after imaginary cats
You went really
red rover
and Flamenco danced at a fortune teller
You rushed off
on roller-skates,
after performing the Heimlich on a mannequin
You set fire
to your feet
and played Frisbee with stolen toilet seats
You sucked off
a Salvation Army Santa
and ran off Riverdancing
You spray-painted
stanzas of Beatnik poetry
and puked on every public library
You started
stupid new dancing plagues
and catfished Karen suicide cults
You went fishing,
with your bare hands
and called it performance sushi
You really licked
random people in frog suits
and called it floppy lollipops
You guerrilla exploded
empty empathy tanks
and went vigilante snowman with whip cream cans
You really
whispered
what I didn’t wanna hear
You really
bit off my ear
and called it true romance
You ... You ... Oh, you!!!
You called for
calisthenics and cannibalism
and practiced performance veganism
You understood
umbrellas were parachutes
and purposely padlocked airport bathrooms
You sipped
Psilocybin Bourbon Bitters,
and did angry ballet behind a Burger King
You plucked
pubic hairs with pliers,
and called it performance topiary
You sucked off
Ari Shaffir
and called it heckling
You hyperventilated
and imagined progress
You bought an AK-47
and begged for world peace
You did it all
YOUR way,
on your OWN terms...
You went without
reading palms
You went without
breaking mirrors
And that’s exactly
what I like about you