Chapter 9

Author’s Note: Let’s take it up a notch! I hope you enjoy. Thanks for your votes and feedback!

“Babe, I don’t know why you’re nervous,” Jess said. I was pacing back and forth next to the dining room table while she sat.

“You know why I’m nervous,” I said.

“But, sweetie, you have nothing to worry about,” she reassured me. “This was a long time coming. I’m surprised she didn’t reach out sooner.”

“Have you thought about what it means for us?” I asked.

“We’ve been through this,” she said. Her smile was a mixture of calming warmth and annoyance. “Kat is still one of my closest friends. I was sad when everything went down the way it did. If we could go back to the way it was? I would love that. This is like a dream for me.”

“Are you being honest?” I pressed her.

“Jesus, John,” she said. “I’m not lying to you. If you want me to be even more blunt than I have been? I probably would find some relief in it. I feel guilty when I leave you for work. I miss the way it was when the three of us were together.”

“Okay,” I said, calming down. “I guess I’m really showing my hand, huh?”

“You are,” Jess said with a laugh. “And it’s okay to want her back! I want her back, too! Now get out of here. I have to get ready for a client, anyway.”

She stood up, and I kissed her. “I love you,” I said.

“I love you, too,” she responded. “More than you will ever know.”

I was surprised when Kat suggested we meet for a late lunch at a longtime, trendy, see-and-be-seen restaurant near River Oaks. It seemed bold, not clandestine like I had expected. I had made the reservation and arrived ten minutes early.

The biggest question in my mind going into this meeting was whether to play it cool and see how it would unfold or go for broke and be painfully honest. When the waitress greeted me at the patio table on an achingly beautiful day, I knew I had to go for the latter.

“Can I get a bottle of Dom Perignon, please?” I said. “And some truffle fries.”

It had been a favorite pairing of ours, and it would send a message about my intentions.

Five minutes later, I saw Kat pull up in a new Mercedes SUV and get out. She looked breathtaking, and my heart skipped a beat before it began to pound a thousand beats a minute. Her hair had been freshly blown out. She wore her favorite oversized sunglasses. And the fabric on her soft pink wrap dress clung to her curves as invitingly as ever. She wore matching pink pumps. It looked like she had dropped a few pounds. She walked with confidence and purpose. The full weight of how much I had missed her hit me like a ton of bricks.

“John!” she said as she strode up to the table. I had risen to greet her. “I’m so glad to see you!”

We wrapped each other in a warm, full-body hug that was probably inappropriately long. I pulled out her chair and helped her sit. I sat across from her and simply gazed. She took off her sunglasses. She smiled at me. The emotion I had felt was overcome by lust.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” I said. “I really have no words.”

She just beamed back at me. Her TV smile. But she didn’t say anything yet.

“Okay, I’m not going to say I dreamed of this day, but,” my voice trailed off briefly. “I’m just really glad it’s here. I don’t have faith in much, but I really hoped this day would come.” I was gushing like a lovestruck teenager.

Kat retained her poise and looked at me. “I missed you,” she said. I could hear a slight tremor in her voice. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” I said. “Just, you don’t have to.”

“You’re right,” she said. “I can’t talk about it here. I’ll get too emotional.” She smiled.

“You looked great on the broadcast this morning,” I said.

“You watched?” she said with surprise.

“Every morning, Kitty Kat,” I said.

Her smile changed. It was bathed in emotion.

“You and Jess are good, I hear,” she said.

“Amazing,” I said. “But there’s something missing.”

Silence.

“Kelly is worried about you,” I said. “Are you okay?”

“Not beating around the bush, are you?” she asked.

“I don’t fuck around when it’s something I care about,” I said bluntly.

The waitress returned with our Champagne.

“Dom?” Kat raised her eyebrows. I merely nodded.

I tasted the wine and signaled it was good. Kat and I toasted.

“To making the old new again,” I said.

Kat took a long drink.

“God, that’s good,” she said.

We made small talk. It was awkward at first, each of us stopping and starting, trying to find the topic that would shake off the rust and lead us to familiar ease. It was difficult. We had serious things to talk about, but I could sense Kat didn’t want to in public. So I changed tactics. The Champagne was going down easily, and it was a beautiful day. Just being with her was enough.

“So, has Jess talked to you about her new business enterprise?” I said.

Kat lit up. “I just told her I needed to connect her to Kelly to get some advice,” she said. “I confess. I’m a little jealous.”

“You know, she’s working for the next couple hours,” I said.

“I know,” she said. She gave a knowing grin.

“Maybe we’d be better off talking about the serious stuff at my place?” I suggested.

“I don’t know,” she said, hesitating. “Do you let girls wearing butt plugs into your apartment?” She flashed a satisfied smile.

“Are you serious?” I said with surprise.

“You think I’m joking?” she said with a mock look of hurt. “I’ll be right back. Get the check.”

I caught our waitress’s eye and requested the bill, then waited for Kat’s return. I picked up my phone to check messages. Jess had texted to say she was en route to her appointment. I wrote to her and then had a notification from Kat. I tapped on it, and there was a photo of her in the bathroom stall, a pink butt plug snugly in her ass, nearly matching the color of her dress and shoes.

“You always demanded proof,” Kat said as she sat down, noting with satisfaction the stunned and pleased look on my face.

“Let’s go,” I said. “I have better wine anyway.”

Kat followed me to my place. The elevator ride was a bit awkward, until she slipped her hand into mine. It was a small gesture, but somehow put me more at ease than I had felt in a year. Inside, I pulled a bottle of Cristal from the fridge. With my windfall bonus, I spent a decent amount of money indulging on expensive Champagne. I couldn’t help it. Kat made herself comfortable at the bar while I poured us glasses.

“Before we go any further,” she said, “we should talk about that serious stuff.”

I agreed.

“I couldn’t do it in public without breaking down,” she said.

“I know,” I acknowledged quietly.

“I was in a bad place,” she began. “I hope you understand. You can’t imagine what it was like ... going through ... that.”

I passed her the Champagne glass. I drank while she narrated.

“I didn’t want to shut you out. You have no idea how badly that hurt,” she said. “But, in my mind, I had come this close to one of the biggest dreams of my life -- becoming a mother -- and had it snatched away in such a cruel, inexplicable way. Part of me thought that maybe because I had been so ... cavalier in the way I treated my marriage that it was punishment for it. So I just made this decision to close off and be a good wife and thought then that would give me this thing I had wanted my whole life.”

She paused and took a sip.

“Don’t feel bad,” I whispered. “I can’t imagine how awful it was. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I could have done more.”

“You couldn’t have, and you didn’t have to,” she said.

“Yes, I...” I started but was cut off.

“No,” she said firmly. “We are not going there right now. I made the decision that every bit of my life would be devoted to having a baby. I feel like I sacrificed and changed and made that choice, and as hard as it was it seemed like the right choice. And then I found out I was a fool.”