Chapter 49: A Tough Decision

Our morning with the systems development staff went as predicted and we made good progress. We worked individual by individual resolving how to integrate the various staffs.

Kim went off by herself to make telephone calls and use the Internet. I realized that she could have gone home the night before, but she wanted to help in the seduction of Meg – my new HR director, and also with any fallout.

We finished at JN at twelve-thirty and left, probably to the relief of the others staff wondering what all we were doing there. We had time for lunch at a Cracker Barrell on the way to the airport, and then had a two-hour wait for a flight to Sarasota. Our flight had a stopover in Charlotte.

At the airport, Kim brought us into the Admirals Club lounge because she was a frequent traveler. She was a lifetime member. We got a pretty private area to await our flight. We all got soft drinks and sat down.

Once we were alone, Meg instantly looked around to ensure privacy and said, “I was sooooo bad last night.”

I looked surprised, “I actually thought you were pretty good. I totally enjoyed myself, and I thought you did, too.”

“I did, but then today I’m having all the guilt feelings and I’m feeling I was remiss about so many things. For one, you’re a married man.”

I chuckled, “And you’ll meet my wife in a few hours. Her last words to me were to treat you well when I made love to you. I hope I did that.”

Meg looked forlorn but nodded. “But I can’t date you and nothing will become of our affair. I really like you.”

I said, “You have one model for a relationship in mind, but are discounting the many others there could be. I went through this with Jean, too; and she put together a nice summary.

“You are targeting a monogamous relationship, but I live in a consensual non-monogamous relationship – an open marriage, if you will. You seek exclusivity, but my family and I are non-exclusive. We don’t love each other any less, but we also love others; whereas, you think you can only love one person.”

“I am feeling very loving about you ... and about Kim.”

“Ah, another milestone. Your current thinking probably defines a solid relationship as between a man and woman, but what about the dozens of other varieties – two men and woman, two women and a man, three women, three men, and so on.

“If you see your special person being affectionate with another person, you might get jealous. I become compersive – I feel glad that they are having an enriching moment in their lives, even though it’s with somebody else. The alternatives aren’t very attractive.”

Meg said, “What do you mean?”

“Imagine we’re in a traditional marriage. I see you flirting or even getting intimate with another man. One response model has me getting intensely angry. I fly into a rage; I kick you out of our house. I file for divorce and I kick you to the curb. You become pissed off at me and so does your friend, who, for arguments sake might have been my friend, too. He’s not happy. I divorce you; we suffer economically, socially, and just about every way you can think of.

“Alternately, I encourage you to interact with my friend and you do. I feel good for both of you, that you connected in a loving and significant way with each other. There’s no anger, no recriminations, no divorce, no lawyers, no counselors, no judges, and so on. A much more desirable outcome.”

“But I was unfaithful,” Meg protested.

“Were you? To what? I believe that we need to be flexible and resilient in our relationships, even in marriage – especially in marriage. If we had that situation, I could see us sitting down and renegotiating our marriage vows, or adjusting our boundaries to new locations, so to speak. My advice is, don’t see the world in absolutes – you’ll end up unhappy. Instead, see the world as a place where flexibility, negotiation, and resilience are needed – you’ll be much happier.”

Meg protested again, “But I made you unhappy.”

“Did you? Many men WANT to see their wife with another man; that would be great happiness for them. Who is really responsible for my happiness?”

Meg was silent and then said, “You, I guess.”

“RIGHT!” I blurted out. Several others in the room turned around for a second. “Oops. Sorry. It is MY viewpoint that makes me happy or unhappy about what you do. Shakespeare had Hamlet state, ‘There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.’ We and our responses are based on how we see a situation. Another man more recently wrote, ‘Change your thinking, change your life.’

“Meg, change your thinking. Stop thinking that you did something bad or risqué or sinful right now. We had fun. We were loving. We showed that we cared about each other. We know each other today much better than yesterday. We ARE building a future together in an ever-stronger relationship. You hit one of those bumps in the road that makes you grow and evolve in wonderful ways. Appreciate that, and enjoy every bit of the weekend we have planned for you.”

Meg was silent, but she had a lot to chew on suddenly. I felt I’d busted into her old paradigm and in the process showed her a better model about life, love, and relationships. I hoped she agreed.

The house was positively humming with activity when we arrived. Kim just strolled next door to where she lived most of the time after getting out of the limo. There were about twenty people in my house, including a few I didn’t know. Rather than search for Crystal or Carol, I immediately took Meg upstairs and showed her to our bedroom. I told her she’d be sleeping with me. This was news to her, but given our earlier discussions she just accepted that as a given and nodded her consent. We both changed into casual clothes. The others we’d seen downstairs were similarly dressed.

I had Meg wear one of my t-shirts and her undies. She had flip-flops in her suitcase. My t-shirt came down to her knees, and I think that made her happy that she wasn’t on display so much. I had insisted that she not wear a bra.

Both Crystal and Carol met us at the bottom of the stairs with hugs and kisses. I’d given them a heads-up about Meg, and that she was little skittish about being with a married AND engaged man.

Crystal told her, “I know you were with Dave last night ... along with Kim. I’m so glad that he found you and brought you home. I like you instantly, and I know you’ll fit in with all of us here. We are an eclectic bunch, and we are definitely not mainstream, as you’ll see.”

Carol agreed and also welcomed another of my lovers to our home. Meg felt welcome and I could tell she relaxed somewhat about being the ‘other woman’ and meeting the wife and fiancée where she’d have to hide the fact that we’d made love. None of that was necessary or awkward.

I got Meg a glass of wine as well as my own wine cooler. We went out on the patio. Carol gestured and we went to where she was sitting with two handsome men.

“Dave, Meg, these are Jim Manning and Ben Tabor. Guys, this is Dave Toller, my fiancée, and one of his girlfriends, Meg Roland.”

I tried to do the same for the men that Carol and Crystal had done for Meg. The two men did look uneasy about how I’d react to the fact that they’d spent two nights being highly sexual with my wife and fiancée. “I’m really glad to meet you. I heard from Crystal and Carol that you made a great impression on them. I’m glad they found some new friends in your two men.” I chuckled, “I guess you had a couple of great first dates, so you know how ‘hot’ my wife and fiancée are.” I gestured at Carol, and she made a playful swat at my arm.

I asked about their work at Retail Software, and we had a short discussion about marketing of information technology companies. I know I was getting a rapid education under fire about that same genre of knowledge.

A cute late-twenties brunette with hair dyed blue and a nose ring came up to us. “Hi. You’re Dave, right?”

“I am.”

“I’m Temple. I’ve been wanting to meet you. Crystal and Carol talk about you ALL the time ... plus, you’ve been the lead male in a lot of the videos those two have Troy and me editing, so I’ve kind of seen a lot of you.” She laughed at her own off-beat humor, but I did, too.

I greeted her in context now and introduced Meg. She was catching on that Temple and some guy named Troy were part of the crew that made production pornography for my wife and fiancée. I hadn’t explained the ‘back office’ of how I’d made the video that I showed her with Kim the night before. That kick-started our relationship into a higher gear. She’d have to get the full story now.

Temple sat with us and I found out she’d been a video and photography major at the local arts and design college. She’d been doing photography for years even before that, winning awards and even selling some of her artistic work.

Temple stood and waved, and then had a young man about her age came over and joined us. She introduced Troy Bennett to us, and now I had a better picture of the full Crystal Blue Photography team. I explained about Crystal’s business to Meg, as the other two listened with interest: weddings, portraits, private porn, and commercial porn.