Chapter 34: Location, Location, Location

I contacted an independent property appraiser the next morning and asked whether he could meet us at the house. He had a time slot available right after lunch. I quickly called Patricity and had her leave me the key under a flower pot, and then asked him to do his magic.

I met Jack from Honest Appraisals at the house at two p.m. We both went through the house. Jack took pictures and went through every nook and cranny of the house, dictating into his cell phone as we went room-by-room. He also used a laser device to get the size of every space in the house, as well as the total footprint. I liked the house more in the daytime than my first impression the night before.

Like Ross’s house, the home was two stories, and had a large patio and pool. A large wall of thick shrubbery separated the two homes and backyards to within a few yards of the seawall. The appraiser also checked over the dock and seawall.

Jack eventually finished and told me he still had some research about comparable homes to do at his office. He hoped to have his report finished in a day or two.

I stayed home the rest of the day, using my laptop to do some of my work. I asked Crystal and Carol to come home early so I could show them ‘something’.

They both were home just before five p.m. I walked them next door as they shot questions about what I was doing, and why this house, and how come I had a key, and so on. I said little, but had them walk through the complete house. I explained a few of the features that weren’t obvious, but didn’t indicate much else.

As we came back to the entry area and living room, I asked, “So, what do you think of the house?”

Crystal took another look around, as did Carol. Carol spoke first, “I love it. I’d change a few things here and there, but overall it’s great.”

Crystal nodded, “I agree. I like it. I assume we’re thinking of buying it?”

“We are. I like it, too. I had an appraiser look at it this afternoon, and he’s going to work up a price for us. The family that owns it have aged, they live in Switzerland, and they don’t want a second home out of their country now. Their kids aren’t interested.

“Patricity knew them and stayed in touch. She had the key. She asked their permission to show it, and I took a peek last night, and then a longer look today. I agree it needs a few touches, but it’s pretty up to date. The landscaping is atrocious, but easily fixed with some attention.”

“What next?” Carol asked.

“We hear from the appraiser, see whether we and the bank have enough money, and then ask our Swiss neighbors whether they want to sell for something near to that number.”

“When will we know?”

“He said a day or two. Not long.”

Two days later, I had the jaw-dropping number of US$2,244,000. I ran thought the assumptions so I understood the derivation and caveats.”

I didn’t have near that amount of money, but Crystal, Carol, and I talked to the bank and given our jobs and businesses, we could get a loan for two-thirds of that. We got a commitment from the bank, and then headed home.

Patricity came over and I explained that we wanted to make an offer on the home. Since Jack’s appraisal price would have included a real estate commission, I took off five percent, and then another ten percent to cover some of the projects and renovations that we itemized for ourselves. Thus, I offered $1,907,400. I also said that I’d cover attorney fees up to ten grand for them.

Patricity sent me the email to them before she mailed it and I checked it over. She sent it later that night to the Swiss couple.

The next day at noon, Patricity called me at my office. “Congratulations. You own a new home.”

After I got off the phone, I called Crystal and told her we (and the bank) were now the proud owners of the home next door to Ross and Trish. She told Carol. I could hear them cheering over the phone line. I then made a list of the steps we needed to close on the house and have a safe and secure home. I started another list of the ‘To Do’ projects we wanted to make the house more ‘ours’.

At three o’clock, there was a knock on my office door. No one knocks; they just come in. I yelled out and Harley appeared looking cautious about coming into my two-room office. I waved him inside.

“Hi. I wanted to show you the app you asked me to build.”

That reminded me of the technical assignment I gave Harley a few days earlier: build an iPhone app that would enable the user to draw a geometric shape or a few words and have it stay displayed on the screen.

Harley explained, “I did a little more than you asked. With my app you can draw anything and also change the colors. So, someone could do art. I drew this landscape this afternoon.” He thrust his phone into my hands, and on the screen was an artistic rendition of a beach with palm trees, some people walking, and a few boats along the shore.

I gawked. “You really did this all by yourself?”

“Oh, yes. If you hit the lower left of the screen it’ll change and show you the source code.” He paused and added, “I had a lot of fun doing this. I want another assignment from you to work on.”

I did that and up popped about a thousand lines of Swift code – the language Apple created for building iPhone apps. I scanned the code, and it was mostly tight and easy to figure out. Further, Harley had added statements here and there so someone reviewing the code would know what was supposed to be happening during execution.

I shook my head. “This is amazing. You did good, grasshopper. If you don’t build on your ability to do this kind of stuff, you’ll be missing a sure bet to make some money.”

We chatted a bit and then I explained about ‘White Hat Hacking’. Harley paid rapt attention and kept nodding that he got the concept.

I then issued the challenge. Harley, one of clients is Knightsbridge Manufacturing. I know they have some vulnerabilities in their systems to outside hackers that could set the company back on its ass. They have not acted on advice that I’ve given them. Your assignment is to hack into their computer systems, leave a subtle message to prove you were there, BUT – and it’s a big but – don’t damage any of their systems or company data. Just back out and leave after you get in and leave your calling card.”

“That’s all I need to know?”

“Yes, the rest is up to you. You do need to tell me how you did the hack so either they or I can fix it. Their website is easy to find online. Oh yes, you should probably have a zippy name instead of your own. Various names have been used by various hackers like Shadow, Specter, Grave Digger, and so on. You pick one.”

Harley thought and said, “Thank you for mentoring me. Let me see what I can do.” He was laughing and already coming up with ideas. I liked the way his mind worked.

Harley left and I went back to work.

Two-days later, I had a real estate lawyer working on my taking over ownership of the Muller home. I say ‘My’, but the bank wanted Crystal and Carol to be co-owners with me; we were all on the hook, so to speak.

The fact that this was an international real estate deal complicated things a bit in terms of transfer, document signing, movement of funds, and so on. As a result, the Muller’s also got an attorney and gave him power to execute the sale and collect the proceeds for them. Of course, the bank had their attorney, too.

Ultimately, it took three weeks to close on the home. During that time I arranged for insurance, landscaping, a more thorough home inspection, and got a general contractor ready to knock down a couple of walls and modify things here and there as soon as we were owners.

I also talked to the elderly Mullers, and we arranged for all their possessions to be packed and shipped to them. They wanted none of the furniture, only the stuff in various drawers and on shelves. I informed them that my wife and I AND ‘our’ future wife were going to own the house. They got a laugh out of that, and didn’t seemed shocked in the least at our threesome. I guess minds are more broadly shaped in Europe.

We closed one morning at the bank with various checks being passed around, and lots of papers signed and a few of them notarized. Crystal, Carol, and I were there with all the lawyers.

That afternoon, a Wednesday, Kendall Construction dropped a dumpster off in the driveway and their work crew started demolishing a few walls here and there in the house. We’d covered all the furniture or moved it to rooms that could be sealed off from the construction dust.

After we owned the house, I took a new interest in all things ‘house’ to which I’d never paid attention: chipping paint, corroded door handles and hinges, mildew, weeds, wood chips, a dead branch, shrubbery that needed pruning, the pool and patio, and more. I learned that for every problem there was a specialist that could fix or maintain; it would only take money.

I had a new wife. I had a fiancée. I had a new house.

For the first time in my life I was really motivated to make more money. Crystal seemed to have already achieved that state of mind, but for me it was new because my prior needs for funds were more than adequately handled by what I made in my work. I wasn’t rich, but I was okay.

As a result of that new mindset, I sat down and focused on how I could expand my business. I involved Crystal and Carol in my thinking and they gave me a dozen ideas to ponder.

Crystal, Carol, and I christened the new house on the first weekend we owned it. We went over and made love in the master bedroom, and then in the living room. We felt very comfortable there, despite all the construction going on.

We didn’t plan on moving into the house until the construction was done. The builder, Ken Kendall, seemed to be running a tight ship and the work crew was on-site every morning at seven-thirty and diligently modifying the house to our specs.

We had a list of changes. The living room, dining room, and kitchen would become one large open-plan space instead of three separate rooms. The master bathroom would expand into the bedroom behind it, taking half that room to make an immense shower room that could simultaneously accommodate ten people. In that shower room, we’d also have a vinyl-covered ottoman that we could sit on, or fuck on. We had visions for how that would add to our party atmosphere.