Chapter 7

The week before Thanksgiving I was relaxing in bed when my phone rang. And I was a bit surprised when it was Rosie, Linda and Mandy’s mom. I had visited her a few weeks after I got here, and she invited me to celebrate the day with her.

I was a bit surprised, but quickly accepted as I had no other offers so far and was just planning on going to the dinner at the school cafeteria. And feeling a bit brave, I drove the next day to a grocery store and went to the wine section. I knew a little bit from my parents, as they had been allowing me a single glass for as long as I could remember at holiday dinners.

I was looking through the wines, and one of the clerks came up and asked if he could help me. I looked at him, and said I had been invited to Thanksgiving dinner with a relative, and other than a white wine I did not know what to get for turkey. He actually smiled when I said that, and he asked how many would be there. I said my Aunt, her mom, and myself. He nodded, then took me over a few shelves and pulled out a bottle and handed it to me. A 2000 Kistler Vineyard Pinot Noir. I said that would be acceptable, and he took me to a cash register at the deli counter and rang it up. And while it was almost $50, I just handed him the money and he wrapped it up.

And when he winked as I got my bottle, I realized he knew I was not yet 21, but did not seem to care. Of course, how many kids who just want to get blasted buy a $50 bottle of wine? I think that more than anything else is why he let me get away with it.

And on Thanksgiving afternoon, I got to Rosie’s apartment and Linda answered the door. She gave me a hug, and then Sherry called my name and ran over for one also. She sure loved to be hugged, and I carried her into the kitchen and set the bag on the counter. Rosie opened it and smiled at me, and went to put it in the fridge.

I said I hoped it was enough for three, and then I felt embarrassed when Linda reminded me only two of us would be drinking it. But she waved it off, saying apple cider was fine, and her mom always had a case of that laying around. Rosie asked how I had gotten that, and I said I had just asked the clerk for a good wine to go with turkey. That was what he suggested, so that was what I got.

They both looked at me, and I just nodded. “Of course, it was more than most kids would pay if they just wanted a bottle of wine, I think that more than anything else sold him. I have a guy in my dorm that buys me beer each week, but I was not about to trust his judgment in wine so I did it myself.”

They both grinned at that, and Linda laughed. “Just be glad you’re so tall. I still get carded on occasion. Being five foot one can be a real pain sometimes.” I nodded in agreement with her, but also suspected she was not carded very often unless somebody was really nearsighted. She still looked good, and her body could almost pass for that of a teen. But just one look at her eyes, a bit hard looking and some creases that did not look like laugh lines would tell most her age. In fact, her eyes and face looked older than that of her mom.

But it was an enjoyable dinner, and we were sitting at the table drinking the wine and chatting as Sherry watched TV. And Rosie complemented me on the wine, saying it was a good choice. And when Rosie asked if I was seeing anybody, I coughed. “Well, I guess in a way. Nothing serious, but I’m actually seeing Peggy’s daughter.” Rosie gasped a bit, and Linda asked me which one. “Why, it should be obvious, Kristen. Amanda is more than a bit young for me, don’t you think?”

Rosie was looking up at the ceiling, and mumbling something. She then looked at Linda. “Sweetie, I want to be sure here of something. Pete got hurt in 1987, right?” Linda nodded her head, and grinned at me.

“That was when I spent that time out in Lancaster, remember?”

“That’s what I thought. And Mike and Peggy got married not long afterwards, right?” And again Linda nodded.

“I was not there, of course. But when I did start to talk to her again, that is what she told me. Kristen was born about six months later.” I felt my heart beating faster, no! And I felt my stomach sink when Rosie looked at me and grinned.

“I would love to know what it is with you Culver men. You’re the second one I know of that has dated a girl who is only fourteen years old.” She raised one eyebrow and grinned at me, and I wanted to just crawl away and die. Fourteen?

“Oh no, mom. Ask Larry about it sometime, he started to date Grace when he was sixteen and she was fourteen. So that makes three Culver men that did that.” Now I was absolutely mortified. What in the fucking hell? Was there something in my fucking family that caused us to date girls barely into their teens?

But first Linda, then Rosie reached out and took one of my hands into each of theirs. “Let me guess, you had absolutely no idea of that, did you George?”

“No ma’am! I knew she was still in school, I figured she was 17 and a Senior. Fourteen? Why in the hell did her parents even let me date her?”

I sunk my head down, now feeling ashamed. But Linda reached out and with a soft hand lifted up on my chin. “George, forgive our teasing you a bit. To be honest, I realized that last month. But to answer your question, I think I can give a good guess. For one, you have good character references by being both your father’s son, and your brother’s brother. If I was to guess, both Mike and Peggy think you are acceptable, because they know your brother so well. Who would never have pushed a girl, ever. And trust me, I should know.”

I saw Rosie nod, and she agreed, saying it was why she let the two of them date back then. “And secondly, you have to realize what Peggy’s parents were like. She was not allowed to date until she was sixteen. In fact, I still think one of the reasons she did so many things like multiple instruments, skating, and the rest was to keep her so busy she would have no time to date. One of the few things she did away from them was when we would all go to a game convention for a weekend. Normally those would be four girls and two boys in a suite. So no fooling around going on.”

Rosie gave a pretend cough, and Linda just gave her an innocent look. Rosie laughed, and then nodded. “But the truth is, my daughter is right. She was here almost every weekend, or my younger daughter was at her house. If I was to guess, they do not want Kristen to have an upbringing that strict. I know Peggy hated it, and she had barely turned sixteen when she started dating Mike. And they are still together twenty years later, so that is a good thing I think.”

I sat there still in a bit of a funk, and Rosie went and corked the wine and put it in the kitchen. Linda went in with her, and after softly talking to each other Linda came up and said it was late and we should all go home. Once we got our coats on I went ahead and carefully picked up a sleeping Sherry, and Rosie hugged all of us and kissed my cheek before I carried Sherry to Linda’s car.

She had barely finished buckling her in when Linda told me to follow her to her house. And I knew a “Do not argue with me” voice, so just nodded and went to my car. And once Sherry was in bed, she pulled out two wine glasses and then put two bottles on the table in front of us. One of that sparkling apple cider, and the rest of the half bottle of wine from Rosie’s.

She used a bottle opener and opened the cider, then after pouring her glass she filled the other one with wine and looked at me. “George, I know what I said and I know I’m an alcoholic. But don’t worry I’m just going to take a sip, that will not hurt me.” I nodded, and she did exactly that. The smallest of sips, then she moved it around in her mouth then smiled at me. “Good choice, here.”

I took a sip myself, and leaned back on the couch. “You knew that night in the hot tub didn’t you?” She looked a bit somber, and nodded. “And not just me, Becky did also. But notice, neither of us judged you. And yes, we did talk about it a few days later. She knew you two were close and hanging out, but she did not realize you were dating until then. And when I told her it was likely how it had been with Pete and I she agreed. He never was very good at telling a girl’s age.”

“All the things I said that night, you must think I’m the biggest hypocrite in the world!”

And she then pulled me in and hugged me, resting my head on her breast. “No, actually not at all George. Why do you think I had my mom to ask you that?” I looked at her, and she nodded.

“Here I was judging my brother, and he was only 16. I’m 18, you must think I am the biggest jackass you have ever met.”

“Not at all. Now mind you, I’m not asking for details. I assume already second base. Third base?” I quickly shook my head no, and confirmed second base. She nodded, and sighed. “And you started seeing her in what, September? Over two months, that was slow even when I was that age. But let me say this much, don’t try for third. I am not as close to Peggy as I once was, but I still care about her and her family. Keep seeing Kristen, but from now on remember her age, and keep those limits you already have. And think of this, the age difference between the two of you is actually less than that between your brother and my sister.”

I finished the glass, and Linda poured me another. “But now you see why I had that talk with you the last time you were here. I knew eventually you would realize how young she was, and would feel like this. And just like I told you not to judge your brother too harshly, do not judge yourself too harshly either. And yes, I will admit that especially with Asian girls, it can be damned hard to tell their ages.”

I then told her the conversation I had with Kris at the skating rink, and Linda just nodded. “Oh, that I know. Your brother and I figured that out after just a month or so of their meeting, as did my mom. And yes, I fully believe that both Peggy and my sister were straight. But had what we called a ‘girl crush’ on each other. But once Peggy was allowed to date, she and my sister ended it very quickly and she has been with Mike ever since. And among us girls, that is not all that uncommon. To have a kind of girlfriend when we are younger.”

I moved back and looked at her, and she chuckled. “Yes, even me. With me though, it was different. Honestly, if I’m single I would consider myself bisexual. But if I’m with somebody, I’m only with them. Sherry, she’s named after my lover of over three years. She’s the one that realized I was an alcoholic, and left me when I refused to seek treatment. Like me, she was a recovering addict and was afraid I might pull her off her sobriety. I finally got help once I realized I had lost her forever, and got help. If I’m dating a girl, I would consider myself a lesbian. If I was single back then, mostly a lesbian but the right guy would get my attention. I have since found the right guy, so am only with him and am straight. You have a bit of black and white thinking there, George. And you need to realize that in a lot of life, it is really just various shades of gray.”

I nodded at that, amazed at how this lady could make me see myself and others in different ways. “So you don’t think I’m a pedophile?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “Oh an ephebophile maybe, but not a pedophile. One is a real sickness, a pedophile lusts after children who are not even into adolescence yet. I know Kristen is almost fifteen, and an ephebophile likes those after puberty, but not yet an adult. That is technically from fifteen to nineteen, so that would actually include you also. And nobody would judge you if she actually was seventeen instead of fourteen almost fifteen. With your brother and I, it was almost two years difference. With you two, it’s between three and four. Pete and Mandy, that is almost four years between them. Your dad I know is almost a decade older than your mom. But it can go the other way, also. Do you know that Becky is over two years older than your brother?”

I looked into her eyes again, and after she nodded I took another drink. “My lover, he is older than my mom. As you get older, the age difference means less and less. Mostly, it is about maturity. And I bet Kristen is very mature for her age. And I’m not talking physically, I’m talking emotionally.” And at that I did have to nod in agreement. I saw her empty the last of the wine into my glass, and then grin at me as she licked the neck of the bottle before going to put it in the trash.

“You know, at times like this I really hate what I did to myself. I only allow myself a few sips a year like tonight. And this is the kind of talk that a glass of wine for myself would be great. But George, don’t beat yourself up over this. Still date her, still have fun. But for goodness sake, do not allow yourself to go any farther with her.”

I laughed, and told her about the cop at the park. And she had the biggest grin when I finished. “Trust me, been there and done that. We were lucky, we had found the perfect place that we were never bothered at.” I looked at her, and asked if it was still available.

“Oh, the place is still there, but I doubt it is as hidden as it once was. You know the Japanese Garden in Balboa Park?” I nodded, and she grinned. “Back then, there was not much there. A gravel parking lot, a small pond and a walking trail. About all there was then of Balboa Park was the main park where the sports fields are now. Close to the dam where all those baseball fields are now? That was still mostly thick brush, the farms that used to be there had closed just a year or so before. That was a good spot then also, as was the runway.”

“The runway? Like, at the airport itself?”

She did laugh then, and shook her head. “No, across the street from the Japanese Garden is a radio controlled airplane runway. Back then it was a stretch of dirt, with some benches and a few portajohns. Now it is all fancy and everything, but it was really primitive back then. I would suggest the runway, but be careful, I’ve not been there in almost twenty years. They might actually patrol it now.”

I laid my head back against the couch, and said I still had no idea what to do. Linda held my hand again and asked me if I cared about her. I nodded, and then said I was not in love with her but did care a lot about her. And she again suggested I keep things as they were, and things would likely sort themselves out eventually.

“God, I hope so. But to be honest, I’m kinda seeing somebody else also.” She did give me a hard look then, and asked me if they knew about each other. “Well, Crystal knows about Kris, but I have not told Kris anything about Crystal.”

But I did not expect her to laugh! “Crystal, as in Keith’s daughter Crystal?” And when I nodded, she laughed some more. I told her that Keith already gave me his dad talk, and that it was not real serious between us either. Just making out and being together.

“Well, at least Crystal is older. I’m pretty sure she’s seventeen. Keith graduated the same year as Pete and Holly did, 1983. Jan and I were both Sophomores, we graduated in 1985. They got married shortly afterwards, and Jan was already pregnant. I want to say Crystal was born in the spring of 1986. So you are only two years or so older than she is.”

I shook my head slowly, and she gave me another hug. “Now I admit, Crystal surprised me a bit. But you said that is just casual?” I nodded, and told her that neither one was looking for a serious relationship, just together for some fun.

“Well, in that way you are unquestionably not like your big brother. As I said before, Pete wears his heart on his sleeve. Even when we first met, I quickly realized that he did not just want to have some fun, he wanted love. Or at a minimum actual affection. He and I will never be as close as we once were, but in the last eight years or so we have largely rebuilt our friendship. One moment, let me think on this a moment.”

And I saw her close her eyes, and tap her fingers on the back of the couch. After about a moment I saw her open them again. “OK, you said your brother was a ‘prig’ because of the number of girls he had been with. Well, as far as I’m aware, that number is maybe around ten. And only a single one of those would I count as one that was only based on sex and nothing else. Every single other one involved at least friendship and some affection between them first. And that is ten from when he was fifteen, until he was thirty. That is far less than one a year. Heck, I had been with many times more guys than that before I even met him.”

I raised my eyebrow, and she nodded. “But you said you were a virgin before my brother.”

“And I was, but there are other ways to be intimate that do not involve genitals being inside of each other.”

I thought on what she said, and softly asked “Many times, and he was with around ten. Three times as many? Four?”

She shook her head and sighed. “One of the things I both love and hate about you Culver men. You are so quick on the uptake with things like that. I will just say many times, and leave it at that. I’m actually rather ashamed of how I was in the past now, and wished I had learned then what I know now. Yes, I was the living contradiction back then. A virgin slut. I was so messed up, I had even earned an offensive nickname back in Junior High that I was actually proud of.”

I nodded, and admitted I knew similar gals back in Idaho. “It is still nothing like here, but I did know of gals that if I asked them out to a movie and dinner, I would at least get some touching rights before I dropped them off at home.”

I saw Linda nod sadly. “Yep, that would have been me back then. I started before my Freshman year. And it was fun, I got a lot of dates. And I made sure they had fun also. But here is the kicker, already by the time I met your brother, the offers of actual dates had dropped to almost nothing. They knew that you did not have to romance me, you did not have to treat me nice. Take me to Carl’s and movie or $10 at the arcade and a round of miniature golf, and I would make sure they enjoyed themselves.”

“Aunt Linda, why are you telling me these things?”

She actually smiled, and reached over and laid her hand on my shoulder. “Why, that’s actually very simple. I see in you your brother. But also, I see myself. And do not take that in a bad way, it is a lot of what I admired and respected in your father as well. More honest than most, will do almost anything for anybody. But I also see some of me. Like me back then, you are angry. Me, it was having to take care of my little sister all the time and never having money to do things I wanted. I admit, looking back I was a selfish little bitch. I hurt many around me, and on occasion even those I barely knew intentionally. And I was getting mean, actually trying to humiliate boys. Pete stopped a lot of that without even trying. But once he left, I returned to the same path, and then some. I fucked up every relationship in my life royally except for one. And that is with a man I can never have. At most, I can borrow him. I do not want you to end up like me in another twenty years. Looking back and seeing the disaster your life had become.”

And she reached down and pulled a tissue from the dispenser and handed it to me. I wiped my eyes, not even realizing I was crying a bit. “I am angry, I admit that. All my life, I grew up it seems hearing about how wonderful my brother is. So perfect, how he never does anything wrong.”

Linda laughed at that and shook her head. “Oh good heavens, Pete is far from perfect! Shit, I’m proof of that. Next time you see him, ask him about me. This is what we all idolize about your brother, even me. We can hurt him, badly. I admit now I damned near destroyed him. But if we ever need help, he will do anything to help us. And he does not talk badly about us behind our backs. I bet if you ask him, he likely would admit we were lovers once, and deeply in love. That he had proposed to me not once, but twice. Exactly one year apart, each on Christmas Eve. Then likely that we drifted apart, and broke up. And only after he and Mandy got together did he and I become friends again. I bet if you ask him, that is about all he will say.”

I nodded and chuckled. “About a year ago when you came up for the holidays? That is actually about exactly what he said about you. Not in so much detail, like proposing twice. But he did nothing to put you down, and did smile and showed real affection for you.”

“Yep, probably not unlike him and Becky now. Close, but they both know they will never be lovers again. Just happy with each other and their lives. Case in point, he never told you I was an addict, or that I have HIV. Consider that, he very easily could have. In fact, over and over in the last ten years or so I have run into old friends and expected them to know about that. But he never told anybody. Hell, my sister is in many ways the same. They were together for almost a year before I asked her what he thought of that, and she told me she never told him. It was not her right to tell him that, they are both alike that way. And in many ways, I am also giving you the same trust. Not because you are his brother, but because you like him are your father’s son. Now I’m tired, and you are going upstairs and sleeping in the guest room. You’ve had too much to drink, and are staying here tonight.”

I nodded, and she took me upstairs and into a guest bedroom. The couch pulled out into a bed, and soon we had it made. And she gave me a long hug, and I thanked her for talking to me like an adult.

“George, I may be one of the few that has the freedom to be so honest. But I do mean what I said, what I admire most in your brother I also admire in your father. To give an idea, you know he was your brother’s agent when he started writing games, right?”

I started to shake my head, and then stopped. “Well, I guess he had to have been, Pete was what, 16?”

“Well, 16 when he started talking to Brad, 17 when he was first published.”

“So he was a minor, he could not sign a legal contract yet.”

“Bingo, got it in one. And Mandy was I think 16 when she got her first illustration contract. My mom was her agent, and your dad was mom’s advisor. I remember him coming over and going over the contract with both of them in our dining room. And every time she got a new one, your dad came right over to help her go through it. And do you know what he charged her for it? Cookies! He could have asked for a fee, or even a small percentage of what Mandy made and neither one would have complained. Instead, he only charged them cookies. That is the kind of man your father is, and your brother as well. And I do see much of that in you as well.”

She kissed my cheek gently, then let herself out. I laid in bed until the long talk and alcohol was enough to fall asleep.

When I got up the next morning, I used a washcloth in the bathroom to wipe myself down a bit, and then went downstairs. Sherry was watching cartoons, and Linda was sitting on the couch. She smiled at me, and I followed her into the kitchen where she poured me a cup of coffee. Then she pulled a bowl out of the fridge and started making me some french toast.

And I know for a fact how close she was to our family when I saw on the table butter, syrup, and a jar of peanut butter. We talked as she cooked, and I thanked her again for both letting me spend the night, and breakfast. And she chuckled as I made my breakfast how I like it.

“I tell you that freaked out almost everybody the first time we saw Pete do that. And do you know that last year when we were up there with them, he got Sherry to do it also?” I laughed and nodded, saying it was how I had always eaten them.

I insisted she stay in her seat as I put my dishes in the dishwasher, and then poured her another cup of coffee. And she gave me another of those smiles as she thanked me. And once again, other than her eyes it made me think of her as being a young girl. As Sherry was a short distance away, we talked about music. And she surprised me when she asked if I had recorded any.

“Well, Keith did a while back so he could write up a score of some of my covers. I never really have, but I guess I can. Can you play MP3 files on your computer?”

She nodded, and I promised to make some for her. And after hugging both of them I headed on out. I saw Aunt Becky across the street laying out an inflatable Santa on the lawn. I jogged over to her, and after a hug she asked why I was there so early.

“Oh, I had Thanksgiving last night with Linda and her mom. I had brought a bottle of wine, and afterwards we came over here and finished it off as we talked.” I saw Becky glare at me, and I raised my hands. “OK, I finished it off. She had the smallest of sips, like with you. I was the one that finished the wine. Then she put me to bed upstairs to sleep.”

Aunt Becky smiled, and reached out to squeeze my arm. “Yes, that sounds like her. One rule I knew Pete had was people do not drink and drive around him, ever. And I imagine he was the same way back when they were together.”

I nodded, as it was the same with my dad. I then asked her if she had a microphone I could borrow, and she cocked her head to the side. “Aunt Linda and I were talking about music this morning, and she said she wanted to hear some of my covers. I have Cool Edit on my computer so I can do the keyboard recording easily. But I realized just a bit ago that I did not bring my microphone.”

She smiled and nodded. “OK, quarter inch, eighth inch, or three pin DIN plug?”

“Aunt Becky, you should know that. Eighth inch, I’ll just plug it into the back of the computer.”

She nodded, and led me inside. I hugged her kids as we passed through the house, and then we were in the garage. And after looking at several boxes which each had an inventory printed on the front she smiled and pointed to one on the top shelf of a metal rack. I took it down, and then she went to looking again. This was repeated three more times, and then she started to open them and go through it.

And after putting several items on top of a chest freezer, she had me get a box to put them all into. And this really surprised me. She pulled out a nice Shure microphone and a stand. Then an old Pyramid DJ mixer, and about eight cables. Then taking me back into the house she pulled out a legal notepad and started to draw out what to do.

“OK, to do it right, it is best to premix before you send it to the computer. Run each of the keyboard audio outputs to a different input on the back of the mixer. This is an eight slide stereo mixer, each channel has three inputs. This will give you a lot more control over each of the sources as opposed to trying to do it all in the software. Just run the output from the mixer into the computer.”

I nodded, her diagram made it simple to know what to connect to what. “Why not a regular band mixer?”

“Well, two reasons. First of all, some keyboards like yours are stereo out of the box. A band mixer would reduce it to mono so you would lose that. This can input and output stereo. Say you want to get fancy, like in the intro to ‘I’d Do Anything for Love’. If you listen closely, the guitars and motorcycle at the start moved from one side of the stereo to the other. With this, you can patch in two inputs from two different synths. Then with the slides have that effect replicated to the mix being recorded on the computer. A lot of people who record at home actually prefer these types if they do not have an actual studio mixer.”

“And the second reason?”

She laughed then. “Simple, this is the only one I have here at the house. I record demo tracks here on occasion, and this is what I use to do it with here at home. Just as I described it to you actually. Jim Steinman taught me that trick.”

“Wait, Meat Loaf’s songwriter and producer?”

“Yep, and he learned it from Todd Rundgren.”

“OK, one moment, I know that name. ‘Bang the Drum All Day’, right?”

“Uh-huh. He was the original producer for Jim and Meat. In fact, next time you listen to any of Todd’s music, realize that he’s just like Ray Parker Junior.”

I cocked my head and looked at her closely. “Oh, you don’t know? Todd and Ray are both largely one man bands. On most of their songs, other than background singers it is all them. All the instruments, all the voices, everything. But back then, it meant dubbing over and over onto eight track tapes. Now with computers it’s a lot easier, but that is how I learned it. One advantage of my job, I talk to a lot of musicians and they share things like that with me.”

I thanked her, and put the diagrams into the box and gave her a big hug. And when I asked her when she wanted it back she just waved at me. “This is just a loan, if I need it back I’ll let you know.” I kissed her cheek, then put it in the car and headed back to the dorm.

It took me about twenty minutes to get it all hooked up, and another hour playing with it to get it all sounding the way I wanted. And by 8 I had a dozen recordings that were good enough to share. And quickly I made several CDs, most with MP3 files but one with audio tracks for my car. And after putting them in cases I started downloading some Meat Loaf and Todd Rundgren songs from Limewire, then looked at what I had gotten before.