Chapter 31

Author’s Note: At least we get to meet the elusive Jess, while Kat is away on her honeymoon. Thanks for your thoughts, votes, and the time you devote to reading.

Kat’s ceremony started at 6 p.m. After my hurried exit from the hotel, I went home, showered, and popped a nice bottle of wine for mid-afternoon Saturday to drink alone. I sat on the couch and thought. And looked at my watch. And waited. At 4 p.m., feeling a mild buzz settling in, I picked up my phone and sent a text, then took a shower to get ready for the wedding.

I took my time, shaving carefully, drying myself more thoroughly than necessary. I tried to delay looking at my phone, but finally I picked it up. My heart skipped a beat. My home screen had one text message notification. It was the first time I had seen that name in years. Jess. I opened my phone and looked at my messages.

“You were the last person I expected to walk in that door, but it was good to see you.” I reread my message first. Then I read Jess’s response:

“I miss you so much.”

I put down my phone and got dressed. That wasn’t what I had expected. I tied my tie and poured myself the last of the bottle of wine. I gave myself a once over in the mirror and smiled. I looked good in a suit, and I knew it. My phone buzzed. I grabbed it immediately, wondering if Jess had followed up. Instead, it was a message from Rita.

“Photos started. She looks so pure, doesn’t she?” She had attached a photo of Kat and James during the dress reveal.

“When do I get to open my honeymoon present?” I responded.

“Tomorrow,” she responded. “I have tennis on the schedule. Have any balls I can play with?”

“And a racket,” I replied.

I liked Rita’s banter, but my thoughts drifted to Jess. My head spun. I needed to respond to her.

“Maybe we can meet for coffee,” I wrote to Jess.

Fuck it, I decided. There was no use in playing coy. I would like to see her. Of course, I didn’t consciously consider that I was making an impulsive decision on the same day that my girlfriend was getting married. Or that I hadn’t processed or dealt with the emotions that went with what would occur today. Or how it inevitably would change our relationship. Instead, I just added a wicked level of complexity to the whole situation by offering to meet Jess. It was never a question in my mind that she’d come back into my life. She wouldn’t have responded if that’s not what she wanted. Maybe I was just setting up a contingency plan.

None of that went through my head at the time. I embraced the impulse, relying on instincts honed over years of bachelorhood. Some might say years of selfishness. Regardless, I stuck all the analysis on the shelf. I was going to watch Kat get married while her pussy was full of my cum.

The ceremony was objectively beautiful, but it was especially beautiful to me because of the dirty secret I held. I tried not to smirk too much, since I was sitting with a handful of coworkers. At least two of them were also single, and they reminded me that, at a wedding with some 500 guests, the chances of getting laid were pretty good.

It was tempting, but my heart wasn’t in it. The reception was sumptuously beautiful, as well, teeming with fresh flowers and shimmering crystal decorations. I bumped into Rita briefly, who was almost bursting out of the top of her bridesmaid’s dress.

“If we could get away with it, I’d make you fuck me right here,” she said. She was animated, making our conversation look like casual small talk.

I smiled. “If I had figured out how to do it, believe me, your husband would be eating my cum out of you tonight,” I said.

“He’ll be passed out drunk,” she said. “But be ready for one o’clock tomorrow afternoon.”

We shook hands and went our separate ways. I had one more mission to accomplish at the reception. Congratulating the happy couple.

My moment came just before it was time to be seated for dinner. It was a brief encounter, but one that was immensely fulfilling to me. I congratulated James first and eagerly shook his hand. I shook Kat’s hand and congratulated her and remarked on how beautiful her dress was. But the way her eyes greeted me at that moment, I felt like I had won. That she still wanted me. That the wedding wasn’t going to change anything between us. That our weird but satisfying relationship was working.

I ate dinner with my coworkers but begged off efforts to pick up the odd single bridesmaid or drunk guest with them. Instead, I texted Jess.

“What about a drink tonight if you’re not busy?” I wrote.

She wrote back almost immediately, indicating that I was inside her head as much as she was inside mine.

“Just finishing dinner with the girls,” she said. “Our usual place at 9?”

“See you there,” I responded.

Jess and I had favorited a midtown restaurant that had a good bar. It was our place. We had started going there while she was still an undergrad because it was convenient to campus and close to my office. I polished off one more drink at the open bar and left the wedding.

I arrived twenty minutes early and got a small bar table for two. I ordered a glass of red wine and waited. Jess came in ten minutes later. If she was early, I knew that meant she was nervous, too. Seeing her graceful walk approach me brought back a wave of emotions and feelings. She was angelic. Her natural blonde hair flowed past her shoulders. I could see her ocean blue eyes from across the room. She was tall, lightly tanned, and her face radiated -- a perfect complexion, high cheekbones, gently sloped nose, naturally full lips, and a broad, genuine smile. She wore a floral patterned maxi dress that billowed slightly around her, largely hiding her supremely long legs, petite top half, and simply the most inviting, curvy ass I had ever known.

“Hi stranger,” I said, getting up to give her a hug.

She hugged me back fully, adding a peck on the cheek.

“What can I get you to drink? Should we get a bottle?” I asked.

“Please,” she said. “Something red.”

I ordered, and we fell into conversation too easily. I wondered if she felt it was like our old routine, too.

“So how are you?” I asked. “Healthy?” I didn’t duck the biggest issue that would hang over us.

“Most of the time,” she said with a laugh. “I mean, mostly sober. A lot more mature. I’ve learned I can still have some fun without going back to ... you know, that kind of abyss.”

“I’m really happy to hear that,” I said sincerely. “I’m proud of you.”

“It wasn’t your fault, you know,” she said. “You didn’t even know how deep I had gotten into it.”

I kept at bay the flood of memories that knocked on the door of my consciousness. Her disappearances. Sudden unreliability. Excuses. Lies. Not that I was without blame.

“I could have done more,” I said. “I could have shown you that I really cared.”

“Look, John,” Jess said, sitting up and crossing her legs. She looked directly at me. “It wasn’t your fault. I was in a bad place, and it mostly was of my own making. So let’s treat that as water under the bridge. I told you I missed you, and I meant it. I didn’t come here to make you feel bad. And I didn’t come to relive the past.”

“I appreciate that,” I said. I paused. “I missed you, too. And I know I could have done more.”

Her face turned flirtatious and coy. “You can’t have missed me too much, given where I found you today,” she said. “Did you really fuck a bride just before her wedding?”

“In my defense, she is my girlfriend,” I said.

“You haven’t changed at all,” she said. It wasn’t judgmental. It was matter-of-fact. “But I have always appreciated you are who you are.”

“And how about you? Have you changed?” I asked. “Instagram makes it seem like you’re doing well. It makes me happy to see.”

Jess laughed. It was her honest, high-pitched laugh. “You stalk my Instagram?” she said, raising a sculpted eyebrow.

“I need something to jerk off to,” I said in a deadpan.

“Instagram shows part of me,” she said. “Dog rescues. Yoga. Makeup work is a part of me. I’ve changed a lot, I think, but really it’s mostly just been growing up. Learning how to balance having a good time with responsibilities.”

“Boyfriend?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t be here if I had one,” she said. “I wouldn’t be able to trust myself with you.”

That took me aback. In a good way.

“Well, someone is missing out,” I said.

“He is,” she said sharply. “But that was a year ago. It wasn’t real, anyway. He was just putting up a front.”

“Let’s not talk about it,” I said. My eyes bored into hers. “I feel like the Fates have been at work.”

“Seriously,” she said. “Of all the weddings I get assigned to, it’s the one where my ex-boyfriend just finished fucking the bride? And she was on coke, you know. It was super obvious.”

I laughed. “You’re as perceptive as ever,” I said. “I know she was.”

“You probably supply her,” she said.

“Nope,” I said, raising my hands in innocence. “That was not me. She has her own source. A damn good one, too.”

A brief silence came between us. We both took a sip of wine. She held her glass around the bowl rather than around the stem.

“What are we going to do about this?” Jess finally said.

“About what?” I said.

“It probably was a coincidence that we saw each other,” she said, “but you know how I feel about destiny. Fate. All that.”

She was superstitious.

“How about we have a couple drinks, and we see if we can’t be friends again,” I offered.

She scoffed. “Friends?” She paused and let the word linger. “Oh right. Your girlfriend, who just got married.”

“That’s not very fair,” I said.

“You’re right,” she said. “That’s just me being jealous and confused.”

She had grown up. She was so much cleaner at articulating her feelings. It made me want her.

“I’m not saying we can’t have fun,” I said. “Believe me. Jess, you are the most fun person I’ve ever known. But let me be blunt here. I don’t want you to end up in the same place again.”