Chapter 12

“I’m so sorry,” I said at last, and met Leah’s dark eyes. “I thought ... I mean...” I looked away and puffed in frustration. When had I become such a self-centered jerk? June 6, 1963, came to mind, but I brushed it aside with an angry headshake.

“I know you still love Gina,” Leah said, defiant through unshed tears.

“I do, but...”

“I know you don’t want me, s—”

“Hold on,” I interrupted. “What makes you think I don’t want you?”

She blinked, and a tear ran down her temple. I belatedly realized that I still held her pinned to the snow, so I released her arms.

“You said so,” she said.

I scowled and tried to remember. “When?”

“After Thanksgiving, when Gina left.”

I frantically replayed the conversation, but Leah hadn’t even been there, and Gina wouldn’t have told her something like that. I started to deny it, but thought better of it. I didn’t want to argue, and I definitely didn’t want to put her on the defensive.

“I was pretty upset,” I said instead, “and I said some stupid things, things I didn’t mean.”

She managed to cram weeks of dejection into a single shrug. “Whatever. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay,” I said, although she wouldn’t meet my eyes. “You know I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

“You didn’t know I was listening,” she said with a sniff. “I picked up the other line and—”

Then it hit me: she hadn’t overheard the conversation in my bedroom. She couldn’t have! She’d been listening in on the phone call before that. I replayed that conversation, and felt something sag within me as I remembered my angry words.

“—heard you. Gina caught me, though, and that’s when she went to your house.”

I felt like such a heel.

“It’s okay.” She shrugged again. “I know you don’t want me, but I guess I thought...”

“Leah, it’s not that I don’t want you—I do—but ... well...”

She tried to suppress a look of hope. Fear of rejection made it easier. I wanted to laugh—hysterically—since I knew exactly how she felt.

“I thought you wanted to be my girlfriend,” I said.

“But you don’t want me. I know. It’s o—”

“No,” I said, and hid my irritation (at myself more than anything). “You still don’t get it. It’s not that I don’t want you—I love you! How could I not? It’s just that I’m not in love with you.”

“I know.”

“I still have feelings for you, though.”

“But—” Her brow creased. “You do?”

“Of course I do!” I let the words sink in, but then frowned as the past few days rushed back. “It’s just that everyone’s been pushing us together, like...”

“Like they know what we want,” she finished, and I nodded. “I’m so sick of being treated like a kid,” she went on. “And when my mom told me we couldn’t swing with the grown-ups, I nearly lost it.”

“Tell me about it.”

“It’s not fair. Everyone thinks they know what’s best for us.”

“Like Gina...” I said.

“And my mom...”

“My mom...”

“Erin...”

“Everyone!” I finished.

“Exactly. And I’m sick of it.”

“Me too.”

We looked at each other, a bit surprised by our sudden agreement.

“Okay,” I said at last, “then what should we do?”

She shrugged, uncertain again.

“Do you still want to be friends?”

Her eyes rolled with relief. “God, yes!”

I laughed at her reaction, and she smiled for the first time in a long time. I studied her face for a moment, so much like Gina’s, but different. She was actually prettier in many ways, although I hadn’t noticed before.

She frowned nervously. “What?”

“I was just thinking how pretty you are.”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“Well, duh! But it’s true.”

“I’m not Gina,” she said. “Remember?”

“No,” I said deliberately. “Gina’s in Tahoe boffing her boyfriend, Brock.” The alliteration struck me as absurd, even as the words buried a fist in my gut. I feigned an ironic smile. “And unless this Brock guy is into three-way sex with his girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend, I’m pretty much outta luck. Besides, Gina doesn’t want me, remember? So I guess we’re both screwed.”

Leah snorted in agreement.

“But we can still be friends,” I said.

She stirred beneath me, and the movement brought a surge of desire. Part of me knew I should have left it at that, since sex would only complicate things. But another part of me—the part that hadn’t felt anything but my hand in months, that had more built-up pressure than a fire hose, that was currently pressed against her crotch, yes, that part—wanted to kiss her.

I thought about it for a microsecond.

An eternal microsecond.

Months of desire and loneliness and screw-ups and heartache, all compressed into a teeny, tiny, wafer-thin microsecond.

I closed my eyes and moved in. Her lips met mine in a hungry kiss, and the world faded away. I felt her breathing on my cheek, her gloved hands on my head, her body against mine. My own breathing grew rapid, and the cold air stung my nostrils.

We broke the kiss long enough to fumble with our clothes. I jerked off my gloves as she flung hers aside. Her zipper hissed as I yanked it down. Then I unbuckled her ski bibs and unceremoniously tugged them down her body.

She lifted her hips so I could catch her thermals and panties. In one quick motion I peeled her from the waist down. Everything bunched at her ankles, but she spread her knees and sat up.

I tore off my coat as she reached for the zipper on my ski bibs. It hissed open and she burrowed through my layered clothes. After a little fumbling, she reached into my thermals. Her fingers gripped my shaft and nearly bent it in half as she dragged it free.

I held myself above her as she guided my cock to her opening. I sank into her in one long plunge, and we groaned together when I hit bottom. Her pussy was soft and silky, hot and wet, and tighter than anything I could remember. I held myself deep inside her, lightheaded from the sudden pleasure.

When I finally came to my senses and began thrusting, Leah closed her eyes and arched her back, her hands on my sides. After less than a dozen strokes, the spark at the base of my cock turned into an arc of current, and I buried myself completely. A live wire connected my brain and my dick, and the jolts of pleasure made me cry out.

I finally collapsed against her, panting hard. Her own breathing gusted in my ear, and her chest heaved beneath mine. I blinked and tried to focus, but the world had gone white. With a laugh, I realized that I was face-down in the hollow of her neck, with snow a few inches from my eyes. I reluctantly pushed myself up and gazed down at her.

I half-expected her to be a dream, or for her to frown and tell me to get off. Instead, her eyelids drooped with pleasure. When she realized I was looking at her, she rewarded me with a languid smile.

“God, I needed that,” she said.

“Me too.”

I kissed her, soft and tender, without the rush from earlier. Her lips parted as I probed with my tongue. I was still hard within her, so I began rocking my hips, but she pushed me away.

A tingle of adrenaline raced up my spine. “What? Are you okay?”

“Yes. But not really.”

I blinked.

“My butt is freezing,” she said, and I almost laughed as I raised my body to look between us.

I was still wearing most of my ski clothes, although my hands were cold from the snow, but Leah had been bottomless the whole time.

“Um ... can we continue this somewhere else?” she said.

Reluctantly—oh-so-reluctantly—I pulled out of her. Then I stood and helped her to her feet. While she brushed snow from her butt and thighs, I crouched to untangle her panties and thermal underwear. They were damp and cold from melted snow.

She pulled her bottoms into place and squirmed at the chill. I tried to re-buckle her ski bibs, but we had to take off her parka first, and she was shivering by the time we finished.

I tucked my half-hard dick in my pants and re-zipped my own bibs. Then I slipped into my parka and gloves. I gathered our skis and poles and threw them over one shoulder.

“Ready?” I said, and began trudging back the way we’d come.

The snow was deep enough that we sank to our knees with each step, and it took several minutes to cover the forty feet back to the trail. The walk to the chalet wasn’t as bad, but it still took another ten minutes.

Leah’s teeth were chattering by the time I dropped our skis in the rack under the deck. I led her upstairs to the deck, where I tugged the cover from the hot tub. The water steamed in silent invitation.

She began fumbling with her parka, so I quickly shucked my gloves to help. My hands felt like blocks of ice, but Leah smiled gratefully when I helped her finish taking off her clothes. Then she practically leapt into the water.

“Oh my God!” she gasped.

I quickly shed my clothes and followed her. The water wasn’t very hot, but it felt like molten wax on my cold skin. We floated in the center of the tub, submerged to our necks as we slowly soaked up the warmth. When my hands finally stopped hurting, I turned on the heater and jets, and the water bubbled around us.

For a moment I dithered about whether Leah was still in the mood. I didn’t want to ruin things by rushing her, but the sight of her bare neck made me think about the rest of her, which was just as bare.

I should have known better. Her eyes shone with desire, and we floated into an embrace. When we broke the kiss, I stood and pulled her with me. She started to protest when I turned her around, but then she understood.

I guided her toward one of the tub jets, and she gasped in pleasure as the bubbles hit her pussy. I bent her over and probed between her legs with my erection. She braced herself against the side of the tub and groaned softly as I rubbed the length of my cock along her slit.

After teasing her for several heartbeats, I set the tip at her opening and slowly impaled her. She whimpered with pleasure as I began thrusting. I tweaked her nipples for good measure, but the tub jet and my cock did the real work.

When she began whimpering with the first signs of orgasm, I gripped her waist and began thrusting for real. She moaned as my cock filled her, and her pussy tightened around me. I closed my eyes and powered through, trying to concentrate as my own pleasure mounted.

Leah came with a low cry that turned into a shriek, and I didn’t last long after that. Her pussy gripped my shaft, trying to hold me inside or keep me out—I didn’t really care which.

When I felt the first rush of impending orgasm, I arched my back and buried myself completely. The bubbles from the jet added their own pleasure, and the sensation finally pushed me over the edge.

Leah groaned as she felt the spurts deep inside her. My climax seemed to last forever, although it was probably less than ten seconds. Still, I collapsed over her back and panted from the shock of it.

When I finally came to my senses, we sank into the water. Still in a daze, I floated toward the nearest seat and settled her on my lap. We sat silently for a while, luxuriating in the warmth of the water, but then she turned sideways and scowled.

I tried to look innocent. “What?”

“That’s the second time you came inside me.”

I was still a little fuzzy after my orgasm, so I panicked at my first thought. “But ... I thought you were on the pill!”

“I am,” she said indignantly.

“Then...” My mind raced. “What?”

“What do I like?” she asked rhetorically. “What do all of us like?”

I relaxed with an almost palpable wave of relief. “Jeez, Leah, you scared me to death.”

“What did you think I was talking about?”

“Getting pregnant or something.”

“Are you kidding?” she laughed. “I’d probably have a daughter like me!”

“What, beautiful?”

She blushed and lowered her eyes, but then looked at me through dark lashes. “You really think so?”

“Absolutely,” I said quietly, and pulled her toward me for a kiss. It was tender and almost chaste, more intimate for not being passionate. When we separated, she pulled back and pretended to frown.

“I mean it,” she said. “You came inside me twice.”

“Sorry,” I said with a laugh. “But you know what?”

“What?”

I reached for her hand and guided it between my legs. “Feel those?” I said when her hand touched my balls.

Her fingers tickled lightly, and she grinned at my reaction.

“I make more all the time.” I smirked. “I have an endless supply.”

Her grin turned hungry, and she began kneading my testicles.

“Whoa there, darlin’,” I drawled. “The next batch won’t be ready for a while.”

“So? I can get you worked up, can’t I?”

“Just being with you is enough to do that.”

Her cheeks turned rosy again.

She looked more beautiful than ever, and I wondered what I saw in Gina that I didn’t see in her. Gina’s skin was darker, but both girls had the same jet black hair. They had the same eyes and smile, too. But where Gina was curvy, Leah was taller and slimmer, with a model’s body. They were both smart and sexy, so why was I in love with Gina, but not Leah?

“See?” she said suddenly, breaking my reverie. “That’s why things would never work between us.”

I blinked in confusion. “What?”

“That,” she said. “That look in your eye.”

“What look?”

“You were just thinking about Gina, weren’t you?”

I started to deny it, but then felt my cheeks heat with chagrin. “Was it that obvious?”

She shrugged. “I can tell.” She started to climb off my lap, but I held her in place. “What?” she said, almost indignantly. “We had fun. I know you don’t want me, and to tell you the truth, I don’t really want you either. So let’s just be friends, and no—”

“Leah, shut up,” I said, which startled her. “We’ll never be ‘just friends.’” She started to frown, but I cut her off. “You mean more than that. Yeah, you’re right, we’ll never be boyfriend-girlfriend, but you’re a lot more than just a friend.”

“What if I don’t feel the same way?”

“Then you’re lying to yourself.”

Her silence proved my point.

“I really do love you,” I said. “I may not be in love with you, but that doesn’t change how I feel. You’re like my sister, only better.” I grinned. “I get to have sex with you.”

“So? You could have sex with Erin. She totally has a crush on you.”

She was dodging the issue, and I wasn’t going to let her get away with it.

“But what about you?” I asked.

“Me? What about me?”

“Do you have a crush on me?”

She started to lie, but then closed her mouth and looked away. Her lips pressed into a line, and she fluttered her eyes to clear them.

“That’s what I thought,” I said gently, and turned her to face me.

She wouldn’t meet my eyes, but she didn’t look away. I almost laughed when she unconsciously gnawed the inside of her lip. It wasn’t overt, but it was so much like Gina that I felt a rush of affection.

“What?” she snapped.

“You.” I smiled. “You’re so much like Gina, but so... not like her.”

She looked up in hopeful confusion.

“Yes, you remind me of her. But in a good way. And no, I don’t wish she were here instead of you. I’m glad you’re here, and that she’s off wherever, doing... whatever ... with whatshisname.”

“Brock.”

“I know his name,” I said, “but I don’t care.” It wasn’t true, but Leah couldn’t read me like Kendall used to. I shook off the thought and went on.

“Leah, I love you for the same reasons I love Gina. You’re smart, sexy, and beautiful. You have the same smile and the same laugh. You even bite your lip when you’re nervous.” I smiled to take the sting out of my words.

“But you’re different, too,” I went on. “And don’t tell her this, but you’re prettier.” She looked at me in surprise, and I nodded. “You are.”

She blushed and looked down.

“I mean it,” I said. “You’re beautiful ... like a model. But you’re smart, too, and fun to be around—when we’re not fighting, that is.” That made her smile. “You’re also sexy.”

I lifted her and turned her to face me squarely. She straddled my hips, and my eyes automatically darted to her dark nipples as they puckered in the cool air. When I met her eyes again, she looked uncertain and excited at the same time.

We kissed, tenderly at first, but with a slow-growing heat. I cupped her ass and she rose from the water. When we finally broke the kiss, I captured one of her nipples and sucked gently. She gasped and held my head to her breast.

I felt between her legs and stroked her pussy. She grew very still as I ran my fingertip along her slit. Then I switched nipples, sucking and nibbling as I slowly stroked her.

“I want you to do something for me,” I said at last.

“What?” she panted.

“Shave your pussy.”

“Oh, God... anything.” When I didn’t say anything else, she pulled back and looked down at me. “You mean... now?”

I nodded. “I want to go down on you and—”

She leapt to her feet. Water streamed down her body and steamed in the cold air.

“Well?” she said as she climbed out of the tub. “What’re you waiting for?”

The sound of the shower stopped, and I listened as Leah moved around the bathroom. The bathroom door opened a minute later, and I rolled to my feet. She appeared in the bedroom door, a towel wrapped around her body and another around her head.

I smiled, and she returned it with a tentative one of her own. Then I moved close and pulled her into my arms. She tilted her head up for a kiss, and I tasted the mint of her toothpaste. When we separated, I loosened the towel around her body and let it fall to the floor.

I used my body to turn us and push her toward the bed. She lay back and then sighed when I spread her legs with my own. I was impatient to see her shaved pussy, so I began kissing my way down her body.

I shouldered her thighs apart and settled between them. Then I studied her smooth labia, marveling at the tender flesh. Her outer lips were dark with arousal, plump but still slim. I spread them open with a kiss, and felt the hot, damp skin against my cheeks. The scent of soap and desire mingled in my nostrils.

Her inner lips were dark at the tips, almost the color of her cheeks when she blushed. I licked the sensitive fold between inner and outer labia, and tasted the tang of her arousal. When I moved to the other side, she rewarded me with a low sigh. It had been a long time since I’d gone down on a woman, so I decided to enjoy myself.

Leah gasped when I circled her clit with my tongue, but I tried to avoid it so I could focus on the rest of her. I planted kisses along her inner thigh, and she ran her fingers through my hair. She tried to nudge me toward her clit again, but I simply grinned and skipped over it, kissing my way along her other thigh. She sighed with pent-up desire as I teased her gently.

When she felt ready to explode, I pulled back and surveyed my handiwork. The pink pearl of her clit glistened at me, so I kissed it gently. She moaned and clutched my hair. I moved back to her slit and pressed my whole mouth against her, circling my tongue through her slippery folds.

I licked and sucked and teased her for a long time, playing her like an instrument as she responded to my attention. Then I sat up and looked at her. Somewhere in all of her writhing, she’d lost the towel around her head. Her damp hair fanned out on the pillow, framing her face.

She looked at me with eyes hooded from pleasure, her nostrils flaring as she tried to catch her breath. I smiled and scooted forward. My dick nudged her bare pussy, and she closed her eyes at the contact. I rubbed the glans along her slit, spreading her moisture and coating myself with it.

When I teased her clit again, she arched her back and whimpered. With a grin, I lowered my aim and slid along her pussy until I felt her opening.

I slid inside.

She let out a groan, and I had to stifle one of my own as her heat washed over me. I pushed into her inch by inch, my cock disappearing between smooth, brown lips. When my dark pubic hair finally crushed against her bare mons, I began fucking her with long, slow, steady strokes.

I wanted to look at the rest of her, but I couldn’t tear my eyes from the sight of her smooth pussy. I thought about coming inside her again, but I knew she wanted to taste me, so I paced myself. I had to stop twice, but when I couldn’t hold back any longer, I pulled out and straddled her chest.

She licked the tip of my cock and moaned at the taste of pre-come mixed with her own juices. Then she captured the head with her lips, and I began stroking. I didn’t last long, and she clamped her lips around me as I filled her mouth with semen. When my orgasm finally subsided, she closed her eyes and swallowed.

I braced myself on the wall above her and held my hips over her chest. She nursed my slowly deflating cock, milking it for all it was worth. I panted silently and then swallowed to wet my mouth.

She still hadn’t come, so I stood and gestured for her to scoot toward the end of the bed. She understood what I wanted, and captured my semi-hard shaft as I straddled her head and pressed my face between her legs.

She writhed under me as I slowly licked her toward her own climax. When it struck, she released my dick and shuddered as the first wave washed over her. Damp, heavy air filled my nostrils with each breath, but I didn’t stop licking.

She finally went rigid and cried out. I didn’t want to over-stimulate her, so I planted gentle kisses on her smooth mons until her orgasm subsided. Then I rested my head on her thigh and let her juices dry on my face.

We lay spooned together on her bed, our skin hot where we touched. I had pulled the bedspread from my bunk and covered us with it, but Leah had kicked her legs free. We’d dozed for a while, but I didn’t know how long. It felt like ten or fifteen minutes, although it could’ve been hours. She’d been awake for several minutes, although neither of us felt the need to speak.

“So, what happens now?” she said at last.

I took my time before answering. “I don’t know. What do you want to happen?”

She shrugged.

“Yeah, I know the feeling.”

“I don’t want to be your girlfriend,” she said matter-of-factly.

I laughed softly, ironically. “We’re more than just friends, though.”

We fell silent again, until she pulled my arms tight around her. “I like this.”

“What?”

“Waking up with you. It’s ... nice. It makes me feel...”

“Loved?”

“Mmmmm.”

I kissed her silky hair, which was dry. Maybe it had been hours. “We’re not boyfriend-girlfriend,” I said at last, “and we’re not ‘friends,’ so what are we?”

“Sex buddies?”

“Fucking friends?”

“Friends plus?”

“Screwed up and uncertain?” I suggested, and she laughed. I hugged her gently, and she kissed my arm.

“Everyone’s going to say, ‘We told you so.’”

“Nah. They might want to, but I don’t think they’ll actually say it.”

“Erin might.”

I shook my head, but then a thought came to me. “Hold on ... why didn’t you just have sex with her and Sean? I mean, if I was being a jerk, and you were so horny...?”

Her answer surprised me: “Sean bugs the crap outta me.”

“But ... I thought you liked him.”

She shrugged. “I like Erin, so I guess Sean is part of the package, but...”

“What don’t you like?”

“I dunno. I just don’t like him. I mean, I don’t hate him, but he gets on my nerves sometimes.”

I nodded in understanding.

“And Erin hadn’t seen him since August,” she added, “so I didn’t want to bother them.”

“Ah.”

She shrugged and we fell silent, each lost in thought.

“So, what happens now?” she repeated after a while.

“I guess we decide if we’re ‘sex buddies’ or ‘fucking friends.’”

“No, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do.” I shrugged. “Why don’t we just try to be nice to each other?”

She wiggled her butt against me. “I think we already did that.”

“Yeah, but you know what I mean.”

She nodded.

“Our families’ll be happier.”

“Tell me about it,” she said. “My mom threatened to put me on the next plane home.”

“Ha!”

She rolled in my arms and faced me. “You think that’s funny? She would’ve done it!”

“Yeah, I know,” I said earnestly, which seemed to mollify her. “And then we both would’ve been screwed.”

“Or not,” she said, and laughed softly. She paused a moment, deep in thought. “Can we just be friends? But with, you know, the sex too?”

“Sure. I always liked being your friend. That’s what I really missed when we were fighting.”

“You mean when you were being a jerk.”

“Hey,” I said indignantly, only half teasing, “I had help.”

She managed to look guilty and defiant at the same time.

“Whatever,” I said with a smile. “Anyway, I’m sorry I was a jerk.”

“I’m sorry I was a bitch. I just ... I didn’t know what to say, and...”

“Whenever you tried,” I finished, “I was a jerk.”

“Uh-huh. And I guess I was angry ‘cause everyone was having sex but us.”

“Tell me about it! I was ready to explode.”

“You did that anyway,” she said with a grin. “Three times.” She reached for my flaccid penis and began stroking it. “Can I taste number four?”

I grinned and started to reply, but a sound from the hall cut me off.

“What’s all this then?” Elizabeth said from the doorway.

Leah and I sat up in surprise.

“Did you find them?” Mom called from the second floor.

Elizabeth turned and called down, “They’re up here, snug as bugs.”

“Together?” Mom said as she came up the stairs.

Elizabeth gestured. “See for yourself.”

Leah and I managed to look self-conscious.

“So you kissed and made up?” Elizabeth said when she faced us again.

“It looks like they did more than kiss,” Mom teased, which made me blush even harder. Beside me, Leah was just as rosy, even through her darker complexion.

We fell silent, but then my brow furrowed. “Um ... why were you looking for us?”

“You were supposed to meet us for lunch,” Mom said gently. “When you weren’t at the lodge, we came looking for you. It’s after one o’clock.” She tapped her watch. My own watch was probably still on the deck, exactly where I’d left it before I got into the hot tub.

“We found your clothes,” Elizabeth continued, “and thought something might’ve happened to you.”

“Whatever,” Leah said curtly. “We’re fine.”

Elizabeth’s eyes narrowed, so I cut in, “What she means is, we’re sorry you had to come looking for us. I guess we lost track of time.”

Elizabeth gave her daughter a pointed look.

“It’s easy to do,” Mom said smoothly, “especially when you’re ... um ... preoccupied.”

Leah and I glanced at each other and shared a guilty look.

“So,” Mom continued, “you’re not fighting, obviously. And you haven’t been abducted by a flying saucer.” She looked at Elizabeth. “I guess we can call off the FBI.”

“Indeed,” Elizabeth said dryly, and then turned back to us. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

Leah started to answer hotly, but I cut her off.

“Nothing, really,” I said. I glanced at Leah. “But ... um ... we haven’t really had a chance to talk about it.”

“But you’ll be together?”

Leah bristled. “Why do you—? Ow! That hurts.”

I let go of her thigh and hoped she wouldn’t bruise. “Probably,” I answered Elizabeth, and ignored Leah’s venomous look. “If we don’t start fighting again.”

“Don’t count on it,” Leah muttered.

“Well, then,” Elizabeth said. “We’ll leave you to it.” She abruptly turned to go, and Mom shot me a questioning look. I shrugged slightly, and she nodded.

“We’ll see you for dinner?” Mom said.

“If we both survive,” I said, which was more prescient than I wanted to admit.

Mom followed Elizabeth down the stairs, and I caught Leah before she could escape.

“What was that about?” I said.

“Let go of me.”

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Ow! You’re hurting me.”

“Then quit fighting me,” I said, and tugged her back to the bed. “Now, what the hell was that about?”

“Just leave me alone!” She tried to get away again, but I caught her and pulled her down.

“You were fine until your mom showed up,” I said.

“What? Are you gonna give me a lecture too?”

“I hadn’t planned on it,” I said evenly.

“Oh?” she snapped. “So what are you planning?”

“Well, I was gonna ask what’s going on. And then I thought I’d listen while you told me.” I paused to let my words sink in.

“As if you really care,” she said sullenly.

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.”