Epilogue: News You Can Use!

The vid would make the news all over the Diaspora...

“In other news, Confederacy News Network has flagged a combat video from Earthat as ‘must-see’. Earth Defense Forces in North America have found a new weakness in our enemies. Y’all put your beers down and watch this!”

The vivid scene showed Sa’arm units advancing over a field of tall grass. Then something ignited hidden accelerants, flames enveloped the Sa’arm, and only units on the outer edges of the conflagration were visible. The dickheads froze in place and seemed to swell in the intense heat. Suddenly, one after another exploded in flames, spewing burning liquids and vapors.

The announcer continued, “We’ve all seen an action, or at least a video, of ground combat where a vehicle carrying Dickheads got hit. If there was any sort of internal fire, they always ‘brewed up’ just like a burning tank did on Earth. We’d always thought that it was something in the vehicles, maybe a fuel tank or something. No! As we can clearly see here, it was the dickheads themselves.”

The announcer wore a vicious grin, “You can imitate the EDF tactic shown here, or if you can get them trapped somewhere where they are packed together and set one on fire. They’d all go up like you’d thrown a match into a box of fireworks.”

“The Brass has analyzed a lot of old vids trying to figure out why we didn’t know this before now,” explained the announcer. “They think that the Sa’arm would know the danger. Maybe that was why you seldom see them packed into a single mass if there is room to spread out. If it is possible to walk to their destination, they almost always do. Vehicles are opportunities to move groups of units at once, but they also create the risk of immolation.”

“So boys and girls,” the announcer finished, “herd them close together, and if any of you figure out how to reliably fire up a single dickhead with a laser, kick it up the chain pronto.”