Chapter 15: Embracing New Friends

Ron Sutcliff, one of the attendees at the Relationship Couples Therapy Retreat stood as I opened the morning session, as Alice and Carl had asked of me.

Ron said, “I thought deeply about what you proposed to us yesterday afternoon. Shelby and I talked, and then we even came back in this room to study the various charts you created with all of us.” He gestured around the room. “Shelby and I didn’t go to bed until three a.m. We talked about every point and found more. I think last night was the most important night of my life and certainly of our marriage.”

Tears came to his eyes, but he continued, “I’m not sure I ever knew how to love Shelby until yesterday and hearing all that got said. I did a lot of foolish things and didn’t pay attention to her when I should have. She said I shouldn’t feel bad because she admits to the same faults.

“Our conclusion was that we are redesigning our relationship, our marriage, our interactions with others, and the way we think about the Universe and all things in it. I can’t imagine not trying to live my life the way Jim and Edie apparently live theirs. I thank the stars that they decided to attend this particular retreat. If I were an evangelical, I’d hold my hand up and say I’ve been reborn or saved or something. I feel that way, I guess. I suddenly understand so much more about life and myself than I did. Thank you, Jim, from the two of us.” He bowed to me.

Ron sat down. I was speechless for a moment. I finally said, “This is not an easy life to lead. Some of the boundaries that I grew up with had become comfortable and were well anchored in my head. When I started to toss them away or move them, when I started to break the rules my life had been based on, it took me out of my comfort zone and didn’t always feel good. Nonetheless, I persevered and still do; I think I’m going in a desired direction.

“Alice and Carl have already told us they’re available as support aids. I pledge to all of you to also be available as a friend to talk about any of this with you. Just remember, I’m only a little further down this road than perhaps you are. All our contact information is in the notebook that Alice and Carl made and gave us. I speak for Edie, too, if someone wants the perspective of a savvy woman.”

I’d emailed the list that I’d used with Dave, Jean, and Penny to the lodge office, and printed off copies for the other attendees. I passed them out to the class and they instantly became treasured pieces of paper. A buzz went through the room as people read them.

I called for comments or questions. A few people talked about how they wanted to move to the new model, but expressed doubt that they could make it stick in their lives. One man stated he couldn’t give up the need for exclusivity and the need to be exclusive with and possessive about his wife; she, on the other hand, was prepared to spread her love around. The implication about sex was obvious.

I led a discussion on each of the transitions from where society seemed to center today to the desired future at least several of us wanted for our future. I asked the class for ideas about how to transition from one to the other, for instance, from responding by being jealous to being compersive.

I had to lay out some sex-based scenarios as I’d done for a couple of people in smaller groups in order to paint the right picture for them. I again used David and Jean’s infidelity and the two ways Penny could have dealt with the situation: savagery, divorce, and revenge versus love, inclusion, and forgiveness. I certainly talked in the results of each approach, and then explained that was the true situation Edie’s daughter had found herself in.

Transitioning ideas flooded out of the group, showing a predominance of opinion that they were leaning towards a loving solution that worked for everyone. When they slowed, if no one mentioned an idea or two I had, I’d toss in my own. One question was, ‘What will you feel and do if your spouse wants to have an intimate relationship with another person?’ I added that they should include sexual relations as part of that desire, both in a casual sense as well as a long-term wish.

Alice pointed out that each of us was a partnership with our spouse or partner, and that we should be building the kind of open communication that would allow questions like that to be raised. “No one person needs to go it alone; to struggle with these issues in silence.” Thus, as people discussed trying to become non-possessive but supportive of their mate, they had their mate to help them make that transition and to remind them of points made in the class.

I talked through what I could remember from the discussion with Edie about expanding our exclusive sexual relationship with each other to include two other couples. People in the seminar seemed spellbound by my story. I pointed out that it could be a slippery slope, and briefly said, that our actions ultimately led to the inclusion of still others in our intimate life.

I reminded the attendees that they could also be each other’s support network. “You’ve each bonded with several other people at this retreat, and they too had this common base of understanding and the new vocabulary to help them through any transitions they wanted to make. If you’re hung up on some point, they might be in the same place. Either way, they could be a sounding board for you.”

I wrapped up my session that I’d been asked to fill on time. We ended with the class talking about other views on intimacy. The implications of some of those on a relationship could be severe, but by the time we recorded ideas on a flipchart we had a balanced list of pros and cons for a few of the more interesting situations.

Carl and Alice handled the rest of the seminar that day often amplifying on points I’d made. Alice commented that “A few of us made love together last night armed the mindsets and changes in thinking that Jim introduced to us and the Tantric tools we learned. The evening will forever be one of the most memorable in my life”. Oddly, no one reacted adversely to the statement or what we’d done, although several of the guests who’d participated in our lovemaking and then slept in Molly and Sean’s bedroom blushed.

The seminar ended, and we all had Sunday lunch together.

As lunch ended, most of the group needed to get their luggage and drive home towards Tampa, St. Petersburg, and Sarasota. There was no checkout. Before I left the dining room, I found several women in my way.

Molly and Eva both threw themselves into my arms with kisses and expressions of love and a desire to remain close to me ... us – Edie got included. Both women thrust pieces of paper into my hand with their phone numbers and emails. They begged for continuous communication and frequent reconnections with us – sexual connections.

Behind them came Paula, Denise, Heather, and Emma – the distaff side of four other couples at the retreat. Each one gave me their contact information, which I already had in the class roster, and urged a further contact. Heather said, “My husband and I really wanted to hook-up with you and Edie, especially after you spoke yesterday. You were with other people, but I wish we had more time to develop a deep intimacy with you. We all live in the area, so ... please.”

I thanked each of them for their thoughts and desires. They all nodded. I promised each of them some deeper connection sometime soon. As our group broke up, I noted that Edie had a similar cluster of men around her. Her beauty and bright smile were like a bright light in the interior shadows of the lodge.

A short time later, as I was putting our bags in the car, Carl and Alice came up to us. We had much the same discussion, except Carl thrust a check into my hands. “Jim, you did such an outstanding job of teaching and running the sessions in the class that we can’t possibly expect you to do that for free. Here’s a complete refund of the seminar fee for the two of you.”

Alice added, “Moreover, for some future classes, we would like to involve you again as a guest lecturer – paid, of course. The points you made were outstanding and so important to what we’re trying to get people to think about. You helped everyone in the class to a greater level of intimacy with their partner, even Carl and me.”

Carl spoke in a more measured tone, “We’d both like to get together with the two of you again – like last night. That was a special time for us. Edie, you and I really resonated and I’d like to experience those vibes again. Jim, you and Alice were a sex show laden with love that must happen again and again. May we call you and arrange a night together?”

Edie and I responded enthusiastically. “Most certainly. We feel the same way. We’ll plan something within the month.”

Tuesday after the retreat, the Sexual Six, as we’d come to talk about ourselves, got together: Rita, Hank, Bruce, Mindy, Jim and me. We had an extra-long cocktail hour and we told them, in great detail, about the retreat and what we’d learned and done. I extolled Jim’s virtues as a teacher as he effaced. All of us did agree with everything he’d taught in his segment of the seminar.

I raised the possibility of several other couples joining us, some as steady participants and others and occasional visitors. My suggestions were augmented by pictures that I took during the class or during breaks with my iPhone. Jim was in many of them.

Thus, on Saturday, Molly and Sean joined us. The Sexual Six became the Sexual Eight before the end of the evening. Molly was so cute going from man to man, and then experimenting with the women. She discovered some sexual heaven, and claimed more orgasms that she’d had in her life. She’d even had Jim and Hank spit roast her. Sean announced that she’d become the sexual wife he’d always dreamed about. He was right in there also practicing his new skill of eating full pussies and Tantric sex techniques.

The following week Alan and Eva also joined us. They both had wonderful sense of humor and Alan could remember every joke he’d ever heard. We laughed until our cheeks hurt, and then we made love with them – and love it was. The Sexual Eight became the Sexual Ten.

The last of the people Jim and I met at the retreat that became reasonably steady participants in joining the group were Alice and Carl. They pointed out that there were a few months in the tourist season when they would only be able to make or host a weekend party once or twice a month because the other weekends, they were running a retreat of some kind dealing with relationships. During the week we learned that both Alice and Carl also did marriage counseling, some of which were court ordered as part of divorce proceedings. Carl also did regular psychology counseling. Alice did some Life Coaching.

The Sexual Twelve had so many options for making love that we all laughed and then forged into the arena of sexual delights with each other. Jim commented that with as many people as we had, we’d return home and he wouldn’t have been with every woman during the evening.

A few other couples from the retreat also visited with us occasionally, and even participated in our sexual romps but no one else seemed interested on a steady basis. We accepted that and saw them less frequently.

The new house that Jim and I had bought frequently became the focal point for our gatherings whenever we could be outside. We had the most privacy and the most space. We bought some serious patio furniture that facilitated our outdoor lovemaking: nice wide chaises with deep cushions that were really comfortable. Many times, people would sleep overnight on them, covering up with only a large pool towel or sheet.

We also bought a massage table that we’d use to give each other erotic massages and then even fuck on. Alice was an LMT – a licensed massage therapist. She taught the group how to given a really sexual massage. The table was popular for sex shows whenever the party was at our home.

Two months after the retreat, Penny, David, and Jean came down for a week. Their goal was to buy a house and get ready to move to Florida. Sean, Molly’s husband, was a realtor with the largest agency in town. He just about dropped everything else he had underway and devoted himself to the three of them.

The three viewed about twenty houses at the start of the week. Jim and I went with them to about half of them just for fun. In the end they picked a house in Harbor Acres that also had a view of Sarasota Bay. Sean did a fabulous job as the buyer’s agent, and secured a great price for the threesome. Since there were no current occupants, the house had a recent inspection, and there were no impediments to a fast sale, they did the closing on that Friday. My daughter and family suddenly owned a house about two miles from us.

Jim grinned upon seeing the house. “You know, they’ll also be able to host some great sex parties here.”

Jean was really showing her pregnant status. Her modest breasts were swollen and preparing to lactate, and her midsection had that ‘half-a-basketball under my maternity dress’ look to it. Alice knew a good OB/GYN in town, and introduced the two of them. If the moving and baby schedules turned out to be accurate, Jean would be having her baby in Florida.

Just before Penny, David, and Jean went home, Matt and Carolyn and spouses also came for a visit. We had a full house, and made it fuller by having a Saturday evening party. Everyone was hyped up and we had seventeen horny people there. Jim ultimately called it ‘A Fucking Great Weekend’.

One of the hallmarks at many of our gatherings was the showing of one or two of the pornographic videos that some of us had done. Of course, there were three dozen or so videos that I’d done in my teens and twenties. I finally was able to assemble the entire collection, even buying a couple online at Jim’s insistence so we had a complete set.

We also had the original ‘mature’ video that the Sexual Six had done and that Hank had assembled. We each earned another couple of hundred dollars for that being online and doing somewhat well.

The Sexual Eight did another video that Hank put together. Molly was so enthused about being in a porn film, that she could barely contain herself when we actually did some videoing. She displayed more of everything that the rest of us put together including enthusiasm for all things sexual. She even expressed an interest in doing one all on her own and putting it out there on the Internet.

Another feature of that newer video was that most of it took place outside, often on our patio or in the pool – an outdoor orgy. Jim was in the pool eating Molly and then fucking her for a long segment. Also, in that video there were a lot of close-ups that previous videos had shortchanged. At one point in the film, the close-up scenes moved from pussy to pussy, showing the remarkable similarities and differences.

The other source for videos turned out to be our Virginians: Josh, Amy, Matt, and Carolyn – Jim’s children and their spouses. They started to turn out a video for our enjoyment every couple of months. The two couples had become a sexual event after Josh and Carolyn broke through the brother-sister barrier. Matt and Amy loved each other, too; so, the idea of a perfect weekend rapidly became a sexual gathering at one of their homes. Extra effort was placed on the men on those Saturdays to wear out the children during the day so that once they got to bed, they dropped into slumber like a rock into water. Carolyn was doing the lewd editing and loved it.

On quiet evenings, Jim and I would come back from eating out at a local restaurant and then cuddle on one of the chaises and watch the last of the sunset or just the night lights on the other side of the bay.