Chapter 7: Competing Interests — June 1858

On the same afternoon, after Suzanne had returned from her visit, they had their usual afternoon coffee. Suzanne reported a few items of local gossip she had picked up and little Alice told them of her ride with Paddy. Charles and Paulina largely kept their mouths shut but strove not to show any awkwardness. Apparently, they were unsuccessful in that, or perhaps Suzanne was too finely attuned to her twin sister to overlook the happiness she exuded. After Alice left the table for her own room, Suzanne arched an eyebrow at her sister.

Paulina smiled wryly whilst Charles stood to close the door.

“Is something the matter, Polly?” Suzanne asked with a touch of worry.

Paulina nodded and took her sister’s hand.

“Yes, something happened, something good in fact, at least as far as I am concerned. Susie, surely you noticed my deep affection for Charles?”

Suzanne swallowed hard, but then she nodded sadly.

“I take it that he returns that affection?”

“Yes. We ... we affirmed our deep feelings for each other.”

“Affirmed, as in... ?” Now Suzanne’s eyes became moist.

“Yes, darling. It took some convincing from my side I will admit, but our relationship is not platonic anymore.”

Suzanne swallowed even heavier. “That is a bit surprising for me and even disturbing. Since when?”

“I offered myself weeks ago, but he would not accept. I love him dearly, far beyond the gratitude I naturally feel. We will be discreet of course.”

“Discreet? Why? Will you not...” she swallowed hard, “ ... marry?”

“Susie, I shall never marry a decent man, and I shan’t marry a rascal again either. Being Charles’s paramour, maitresse, lover, is the only way for me to find some happiness. Please understand!”

“What on earth can keep you from marrying a decent man, Polly? Of course, your first marriage was not a happy one, but why should that preclude a...”

“Sssh! Susie, I’ll explain,” Paulina soothed. She turned to Charles who had witnessed the exchange with a growing feeling of shame. “Charles, love, will you leave us alone for a spell? I fear it is time that Susie learned the full truth about me.”

“Paulina, are you certain of this? Oh, dear! There is no way out of it after this, is there?”

“No, there isn’t. I have misled her for too long. I was afraid of her judgement, but now I trust her enough. We’ll find you when we are done. Please?”

Charles nodded, but he had something on his chest. “Suzanne, please be not too hard on your poor sister. Nothing of what she’ll confess was her doing. I also ask you to forgive me my failings.”

Charles spent almost an hour pacing his study, deeply worried about the fallout from his dalliance with Paulina. He corrected himself mentally. It was not a dalliance. He felt deeply for the hapless young woman, and she returned his feelings in equal measure. Yet, if he was honest with himself, he also coveted his daughter-in-law. At first he had believed that a union betwixt a man and his son’s widow would run counter to the rules of the Church of England. A careful inquiry had revealed, however, that this was not the case.

All these thoughts might just prove pointless now depending on the outcome of the talk that the two sisters were having. Therefore he kept pacing. The servants knew that something was amiss and studiously kept out of the study and out of his way.

It was Suzanne who found him there. She entered wordlessly and sat heavily on one of the chairs, looking at him with an inscrutable expression. Charles realised that he had to break the silence.

“Are you very shocked?” he asked.

She shook her head, looking dazed. “Shocked, angry, desperate and deeply confused.”

“I can relate to the first two, but why desperate, why confused?”

She blushed. “Desperate, because poor Polly is pinning all her hopes on you, and I could never take that away from her. She is my other half. I could never pursue my happiness at her cost. Confused, because I should be angry at you for what you did, but at the same time I know that I owe you my sister’s happiness. That, and I cannot stop feeling drawn to you. Do you love my sister?”

Charles nodded. “Yes, I do. At first it was her likeness to you that attracted me, much to my shame. Now I see the subtle differences between you and her, and I cannot help loving her for the person she is. I also cannot help the deep feelings I harbour for you. Perhaps confusion is a good description for what I feel too.”

Suzanne smiled wryly. “Perhaps we should have both spoken our minds, or rather our hearts. Then again, we’d have an unhappy Polly with whom to contend. It is a muddled situation from whatever perspective you look at it. Something has to be done about that scoundrelly innkeeper too. I shudder to think what could precipitate if that man showed up here one day to embarrass her.”

Charles sighed deeply. “I took certain steps to prevent that. Do you remember when Winslow was travelling three weeks ago to visit friends? Well, he has some friends, from the Royal Marines Regiment, who agreed to pay a visit to the man, against a certain remuneration. I am led to believe that the Watkins Inn is in need of a new publican.”

“Is he dead?”

Charles shrugged. “I have no way of knowing this. Word is that he left his establishment for a day at the horse races with two of his bullyboys, but they never returned. They likely fell in with bad people at the race course is my supposition.”

Suzanne did not flinch. “I see,” she said. “What about the hideous Faulkes who abducted Polly from the coach?”

Charles shrugged again. “Perhaps we can persuade Winslow’s friends to visit Ashford.”

“I had not pegged you for such a ruthless man, Charles,” Suzanne probed.

Charles shook his head. “Carruthers of the Watkins Inn was a ruffian and probably a murderer according to Paulina, and Julius Faulkes may have been of the same ilk.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Well, he found the coach with Paulina and your parents. Now why would Paulina have been barely hurt whilst both your parents perished in that coach?”

“What do you mean by that, Charles?” Suzanne asked sharply.

“What if your parents were hurt but alive? What if Faulkes had a hand in their deaths to cover his abduction of Paulina?”

“How can we ever prove that?”

“We cannot. Yet we know that he took Paulina by force on the very same evening, and that is quite enough for me.”

Suzanne nodded solemnly. “Yes, by God! Will he, too, disappear?”

“Frankly, I have not made any plans yet, but I suppose that the world will be a safer place without that man.”

Again, Suzanne nodded solemnly. “Indeed.”

An awkward atmosphere remained over the next days and nights. Twice, Paulina spent the night with Charles, and in each other’s arms they actually forgot the strained situation for a few hours. Breakfasts were uneasy affairs after those nights. It took a week before they found the courage to discuss their situation between all three actors. Cook had outdone herself with the dinner, Charles had dug up a rare vintage Madeira from the cellar, and Little Alice had been quite loquacious during the meal. The easy mood persisted after the girl went upstairs and Charles decided to grab the bull by the horns.

“How can we resolve our situation? I admit to being at a loss, but then again, I am quite unaccustomed to such matters.”

“What’s to resolve?” Suzanne replied with a shrug.

“Don’t be disingenuous, Susie!” Paulina chided her sister. “You are hurting.”

“What if I am? How can we ever resolve the situation? You are my sister. I should be happy for you, yet I cannot. I’m jealous!”

Paulina nodded, but Charles was surprised.

“Jealous over your sister’s happiness, or jealous over ... over me?”

She looked straight into his eyes. “Jealous over you. You are the one man I could accept to fill the void that Adam left. You know I have no aspirations to being ‘Lady Tolliver’, but you have the same goodness of which Adam was possessed. I had hoped...”

Instead of continuing, she just shook her head, her eyes brimming.

Paulina sighed deeply and stood. She hugged her sister from behind.

“Susie, who says you cannot be Lady Tolliver? I told Charles, and I told you that I shall never marry him. I am tainted, but you are not. You are free to become his wife.”

“Oh, Polly! You know that I could never rob you of his love and of your happiness!”

“You wouldn’t have to. Charles has a big heart, big enough for both of us. Don’t you know that he loves you too? You do, don’t you, Charles?”

“Polly! What are you suggesting?” Suzanne gasped looking quite scandalised.

Paulina shrugged. “A sensible solution. We used to share everything, didn’t we?”

“Paulina, this is not something you and your sister can decide by yourselves,” Charles interjected gently.

Paulina nodded. “A valid point. Yet, we all know that you covet Susie as much as you covet me. When you saw me first, wasn’t I a surrogate for Susie? Same red hair, same size, same features, only too skinny, right? We can all find happiness if each of us is willing to share. Well, you would have to divide yourself up, but is that such a dreadful prospect?”

“Yet, we must not pressure your sister into something that would be considered scandalous by most.”

“I’m not pressuring either of you. I’m offering a sensible solution that will solve the issues between us. I am very happy in your arms, Charles, but I would be happier knowing that my sister is not feeling alone and unhappy.”

“You’re not suggesting...” Suzanne started.

“No, silly! But neither is it something to exclude altogether. Those first nights after I arrived here I felt heavenly sleeping in your embrace.”

“That is not what I meant. I meant performing ... acts ... deviant acts.”

“You mean acts such as those we used to perform? I would think that our attention would be diverted sufficiently by Charley’s presence.”

“We would never be able to hide such activities from the servants. They must already know about you and me, Paulina. What will they think when they realise that we are in a menage a trois?” Charles threw in.

Paulina shrugged. “We shall have to be discreet. Besides, who could tell Suzanne and me apart?”

“Alice could,” Charles offered.

“She’s not coming to my bedroom anymore,” Suzanne said, much to her own surprise. She blushed but continued. “If ... if Charles and I were ... married? ... we’d share a bedroom. There would be dressing rooms for us on either side of it, and who’d be suspicious if I shared my dressing room with my sister? Of course she’d have the adjacent room. A suite of rooms with interconnecting doors would be needed.”

“That is a brilliant idea, Susie! We never have breakfast in our bedrooms anyway, and Boswell uses the servants’ quarters to allocate the tasks of the day. Cook never comes upstairs. We can have all the privacy we need.”

“What if you catch though?” Suzanne asked her sister. “You know, what if you become with child?”

Paulina shook her head sadly. “I never became with child again after that old hag made me lose my fruit. As I said, I’m damaged goods. Should anything happen, we may get away with switching roles. You’d be the mother and I’d be Aunt Paulina.”

“Oh, dear, we are discussing this harebrained scheme as if it were a fait accompli,” Suzanne stated. “Are you quite certain of this, Polly?”

Paulina just nodded, giving her sister a gentle pat on the arm.

“I am, but I’m afraid that we still have to convince Charley of this.”

Both looked at him, making him blush.

“What?” he asked.

“Would you be willing to accept us both?” Suzanne asked.

“Would you be willing to marry Suzanne?” Paulina added.

Charles’s eyes moved between both women.

Charles shook his head as if to clear his head. Try as he might, he could not think of a fresh argument against this preposterous plan. He needed time to think.

“I ... I don’t know. This is all too sudden. Why cannot we give this some thought first? After all, there is no pressing need for a quick decisions, is there?”

Suzanne nodded. “Yes, of course. We shouldn’t get carried away. This is too important to be decided in a rush. Polly?”

Paulina agreed reluctantly. “I suppose we can discuss this over the next weeks, but we should not wait too long. I for one have become used to sleeping in Charlie’s arms. I should hate to forego this comfort for too long.”

“I suppose there is no reason why you’d have to stop seeing him, Polly,” Suzanne said. “Just be discreet.”