There is no sex in this story. Sorry

The best thing about having to go to my wife’s office party was that I got a chance to drive my Challenger full open. The worst part was that the faster I drove, the quicker I would get there. The gathering was at the company lodge and there was a nice twenty-mile stretch of road leading up to it. No stop signs, no traffic lights, and no traffic; just open road waiting for the Dodge to do her thing. That also meant no gas stations and no jiffy stores.

Donna and I had been drifting apart ever since our daughters both got married. I was hoping for just the opposite, but it was not to be. Donna insisted that I accompany her to this function even though I indicated that I did not want to go. Previously she had gone by herself. Donna was a drinker and I wasn’t. I did have a beer occasionally. She was also a social butterfly, and I wasn’t. For the last year, I suspected that she was having an affair. At this point, I didn’t care. I guess that was part of the reason we were drifting apart. I was biding my time, just looking for a way out of an unpleasant relationship. I needed a way to end the affair.

I have to admit that I am probably the reason that my wife decided to seek greener pastures. I am, so to speak, a weird type of minimalist. I grew up in a very poor family. My brothers and I had far less than most kids our age, By that, I mean things like bicycles, toys, pets, fancy electronic gadgets, and stuff like that. It was almost like being Amish without the religion. I wasn’t stupid, and I fully understood the way the normal world functioned, but couldn’t bring myself to go along with it. I knew that it was important to stay out of debt. It was important to pay your bills and it would also be prudent to put something aside for retirement.

To live a comfortable life as a minimalist you do not have to be a fanatic, but you do have to keep yourself under control. By allowing yourself a few indulgences you can appear to be normal to most people.

My biggest indulgence was my marriage and family. It was really difficult for me to find a woman who I felt could tolerate my eccentricities and who could accept my uniqueness. Donna was from a similar background as I was and was used to living a frugal lifestyle. She didn’t embrace it as I did, but she could tolerate it. The longer we were married the more she seemed to normalize. What I mean is that she became less frugal and more average. I didn’t like it, but I understood, especially after the girls were born. So that we would not appear to be weird, we bought a small practical house and started to wear better clothes. Donna was getting her hair done occasionally and became quite adept in grooming and makeup skills. We got two smart phones; last year’s models.

As the girls got older, Donna started to work. It was a minimum wage office job. Transportation was necessary, so we got her a small Honda Civic, just like I had. Her wages just about paid for the car expenses, lunches, and her new wardrobe requirements. It was a wash, but I was happy with that.

My name is William Smith. That is about as common a name as a man can get. I work as a parts puller for a local company that makes industrial compressors. The job is very repetitious, but I enjoy it. I was comfortable with both the position and the salary. At times I was offered promotions but turned them down. I did not tell Donna.

My second indulgence was one that I kept from my wife. I felt it would be prudent to save for our retirement. Every chance I got I would buy a one-ounce Krugerrand. I had over thirty in my basement safe, and I was just starting.

My final indulgence was a 1970 Dodge Challenger. My older brother, John, was killed working on an offshore oil platform. He left me the Challenger in his will. I was able to keep it up by myself, but the insurance premiums were a killer.

Donna had done well working for Gilbert Industrial. She got regular raises and promotions. During the first year, she talked about her job quite a bit, but then it started to taper off. Now, she rarely mentions anything at all about work or the people she works with. I knew something was not right, but could not put my finger on it. I was hoping to get a better idea of what was going on tonight.

The company gathering was sort of like a retreat. It was a weekend event. I felt out of place even having to go to it. I had met all of her associates at one time or another and I did not like any of them.

We left the interstate at Holbrook, and I was finally able to let the Challenger lose. She responded just as I knew she would. Donna was not comfortable with the speed but held her tongue. Yes, I did exceed the speed limit. No, I didn’t care. “Bill! What is the hurry? We have plenty of time to get there. Why don’t you slow down a bit?”

“I am not anxious to get there. You know damn well, that I didn’t want to go at all. I am just using this time to clean out the engine. She needs to run every once in a while.”

“Please try not to be a spoil-sport. This weekend is important to my career. Mrs. Simpson said it would be essential for you to be here also.” Marge Simpson was the wife of the company president, Glenn Robertson Simpson. It was old money and an old business.

“Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why is it important for me to be at this company event. I don’t understand.”

“Bill, it is necessary that you completely understand my new position in the company so that you can give me the support and backing that I need to do my job.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“I am sure that Mrs. Simpson will be able to explain it to you when we get there.”

“I have always supported you in the past. Why is it different now?”

“My new position has a lot of unique responsibilities. Marge said that you should be exposed to them gradually so that you can fully understand them. It might be difficult for you to comprehend at first, but she assured me that you will come around.”

By the time we got to the lodge, my adrenaline was pumping. It didn’t take a genius to understand what Donna was trying to say. It was going to be an interesting weekend. When we arrived, Donna walked into the lodge, leaving me to bring in the bags. I felt like I was being put in my place.

“Hey! Nice wheels, Mister Smith. What is it; a seventy or seventy-one?” It was Toby Wallace, the company officer boy/ gofer.

“Hi, Toby. How are you doing? It’s a seventy.”

Toby introduced me to his wife, Bonnie. They were sitting out on the front porch, but it seemed as if everyone else was inside. I did a glance around the parking area and guessed there were about sixteen cars and one beat-up old truck at the end of the lot. We spent the next five minutes talking about the Challenger.

“What are you doing outside? Why aren’t you and Bonnie inside with the people?”

“It’s not our type of crowd Mister Smith. We were hoping to leave early, but Mrs. Simpson insists that we stay around. We came up early today to help get things set up. The caterers all left about an hour ago.”

“You’re going to have to explain yourself. What’s going on?”

“Something fishy, but I don’t know exactly what. I don’t want to get you upset, but I think it has something to do with your wife.”

“Are you staying the full weekend?”

“No! That’s why I got my truck parked over by the side, so I don’t have to worry about getting out later.” Things were getting more interesting every minute.

“Well, I better get this stuff up to our room. Let me know before you leave, okay?”

“Sure! Mister Smith! Be careful. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Luckily it was only two small carry-on bags. As I entered the lodge Mrs. Simpson caught my eye, smiled, and waved. Donna was waiting at the top of the stairs for me and looked a bit aggravated that it took me so long to get in.

“It’s about time, Bill. We have a few hours to get ready for the evening. Get cleaned up and put on something presentable. It is going to be a special night and I want everything to be perfect.”

“If it’s alright with you, I am going to take a stroll around the property for a bit to wind down. I’ll be back in plenty of time.” I noticed that I got a little smirk as I left the room.

There was a slight chill, which made my stroll a bit more pleasant. As I estimated, there were indeed sixteen cars. They were mostly Mercedes, with a few Jaguars and a Lexus thrown in. Four of the autos had out-of-state license plates. I was a bit confused trying to figure out how a woman in my wife’s position would qualify to fit in with people of that caliber. She, or should I say, we were definitely out of our class. Something was not right.

I noticed that Toby and Bonnie were loading their bags in the truck. I waved and walked over to chat a bit.

“I see that Mrs. Simpson decided to let you leave.”

“Not really. We are sort of sneaking out.”

“I don’t feel comfortable here, Mister Smith. Toby thought that maybe we should stay, but I talked him out of it.” Bonnie was quick to add.

“Could you do me a small favor and stick around until after the evening buffet. I am a bit worried also, and I would appreciate it. I have no idea what is going on, but I don’t like it. Great minds think alike. Isn’t that right Bonnie?” She blushed a little at my meager humorous attempt.

“I think we can. There were crab and oysters on that serving line.” I think I was going to like Toby.

I did dress up as my wife insisted. Before we got to the buffet, our hostess took my arm and walked me to a quiet alcove.

“We are so pleased that you choose to come tonight to support Donna. This is a big step in her career and it is important that she has your full support. The increase in salary and benefits is very substantial and I am sure you will be happy with it.”

“Excuse me for asking, but what is the position that we are talking about? Donna has been a bit evasive. When I question her about it, she usually just blows me off and tells me to wait until tonight.”

“Nothing to worry about William, I think she just wants to surprise you.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“There is no official title. I guess you could just say that she is a Personal Assistant”

“I see. Well, the buffet looks good. Thanks for the explanation, Mrs. Simpson.”

“Marge! Please, call me Marge.”

I spent the next hour or so sampling everything on the line. Donna was busy socializing with the important people so Toby, Bonnie, and I got to spend a little more time together. We were just wrapping things up when Mrs. Simpson came over.

“William, Donna said that you brought your sporty little car with you tonight. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind making a little booze run for us?”

I smiled and nodded my head.

“There are three cases of wine at the ABC store in Holbrook. They are already paid for, so all you have to do is drive down and pick them up. There shouldn’t be any problems, but if there are, just call me. Make sure you take your phone with you.”

“I’d be glad to Marge. I’ll let Donna know and be on my way.”

As she walked away I glanced over at Toby. “Meet me outside in five minutes.”

Donna just smiled when I informed her that Mrs. Simpson had asked me to help. Her only comment was “Don’t forget your phone.” Interesting that they both empathized the same thing.

“Toby, I need a favor.” He smiled as I threw him the keys to the Challenger.

“You’re serious?”

“Drive it down to Holbrook and pick up the three cases of wine at the ABC store for Mrs. Simpson. I have a feeling that there might be a problem of some sort which will result in a delay; if you know what I mean.”

Toby smiled and nodded.

“Here is my phone. Just put it on the dash. If it rings, don’t answer it. Whatever you do, don’t turn it off. Any questions.”

“How long do you want us to stay away?”

“At least two hours and top off the gas before you start back to the lodge. Enjoy!”

It was a bit chilly outside, but at least I had the foresight to put on a comfortable jacket. Now all I had to do was wait and watch. You could see most of the inside of the lodge from various places on the back porch. A thermos of coffee would have been nice, but I didn’t plan that far ahead. I found a comfortable spot where I could see in, and not be spotted.

Donna appeared to be the center of attention. I still didn’t know why, but I had a good idea. She was smiling, laughing, and mingling like a movie star. About twenty minutes later Mrs. Simpson and Donna carefully looked at Donna’s cell phone. I knew exactly what they were doing; checking my location. Well thanks to Toby, I was now just about into Holbrook. They both smiled as Mrs. Simpson held up her hand and started to speak. Unfortunately, I could not make out what was being said, but everyone in the room seemed to be quietly approving what they heard. It almost seemed like low-level applause.

Glenn Robertson Simpson walked over and took Donna’s hand. They started up the main staircase and stopped. He raised his and her hands up in the air similar to a victory salute and they both laughed. I was able to hear the cheering in the room as they ascended the stairs.

I still had about an hour and a half until the Challenger would be back. I decided to take my time and enjoy myself. I always had my trusty Buck pocketknife with me. It was a gift from my daughters about ten years ago. It was good steel and held a sharp edge. I looked over my target area and figured that I would start with the cars closest to the lodge. I took my time. There was no rush. I carefully placed each valve stem in my jacket pocket. I didn’t want to lose any, and I didn’t want to litter the Simpson’s driveway. Sixteen cars and sixty-four valve stems.

I had almost an hour to go. What to do? What to do?

Four of the cars were locked. The rest were all open, so I started at the closest one to the lodge again and removed the registration slips. Some were on the visors, but most of them were in the glove boxes. I had no idea what I was going to do with them but thought that they might be nice to have in the future.

I still had a thirty-minute wait until Toby got back. I decided that the valve stems on the spare tires had to go. Since I had access to the cars, I also had access to the trunks. Twenty minutes later I had ten more valve stems. Two of the cars had no spare tires.

I know it was petty and juvenile, but it gave me a bit of light satisfaction. I am not a big fan of confrontation, so anything that I did or intended to do would be low and sneaky. I had no self-image problems, so I did not feel the need to come across as manly or heroic. I’ll let all of the alpha males assume that role.

Twenty minutes later the Challenger returned. Toby and Bonnie both seemed to have enjoyed the ride. He verified that there was indeed a delay at the ABC store, as I expected, and it looked liked it was pre-planned. There were no calls to my cell phone while they were gone. I turned it off and took out the SIM card. They were anxious to get home. I thanked Toby, wished him a safe trip, and strongly recommended that he find another job as soon as possible.

I am sure that the cases of wine in the truck were pretty expensive. It was an easy problem to solve. I just put all three cases on the front porch of the lodge. There was no way that I wanted them to accuse me of stealing anything.

The trip home was relaxing.

There wasn’t too much at the house that was important to me; a few personal papers, my laptop, and my Krugerrands. Originally, I was going to torch the house before I left, but that would have made Donna a martyr. I didn’t want to do that. I was on the road within two hours. I did not feel the necessity to leave the traditional note or wedding ring. Let her figure it out.

I was in no rush and had no destination in mind. I drove for two days. It was Monday morning when I called into work and gave notice. I requested that my final check be sent to my parents’ house in Carlisle. They were not happy that I quit without given notice. I apologized but did not offer an explanation.

You can always count on a good breakfast at Waffle House. I picked up a local Merchandiser paper on the way in and found an interesting help wanted ad for a local supermarket. They were looking for a person to stock shelves between ten PM and six AM. After breakfast, I checked out the market. It was in an eclectic, older section of Chattanooga. I spent the next hour driving around the neighborhood. There were a lot of older craftsman cottages and a few mobile homes in the immediate area. I could be happy in a small trailer but was hoping for a step up. Then, I happened to stumble across a sign offering a garage apartment for rent.

I hadn’t inquired about the market job yet but didn’t want to lose out on the garage apartment. The garage was not included, but when I offered fifty dollars a month more rent, they went for it. It was a small, one-bedroom unit with only a half bath. It was sort of furnished; bed, dresser, table, and chairs. The rent was right, and the location was right, so I took it. I’ll solve the bath problem later. At least I had a home for the Challenger.

The supermarket situation was a bit different. They had plenty of applicants, but not too many that they felt comfortable leaving alone at night in the store. I explained my situation to the owner and didn’t mince any words. What clinched the job for me was when I offered to work under the table, with no benefits and at a dollar less than they wanted to pay. They never even asked for my Social Security Number. I was happy and they were happy. It was a ten-minute walk from the apartment.

I spent the rest of the day getting settled in my new home. The landlord gave me the access code to his Internet, which I thought was nice.

After a quick trip to the local Goodwill, I had some kitchen stuff and a small microwave. I also got some linens and cleaning supplies. That night I canceled my life insurance policies. I decided not to mess with the banking or credit cards. What can she hurt?

Both of our daughters were now married. That made my leaving a bit easier. No grandchildren yet, but I am sure it wouldn’t be too much longer ... I called my daughter, Lara, and let her know that I was okay. I ask her to be available to help her mother if necessary. Lara was aware that I had left, but Donna had given her no other information. She promised to update her sister Linda. I deleted all the calls from my wife and turned it off again.

I needed a shower! Maybe tomorrow.

Not everything was perfect. I had to find a secure place for my gold. I realized that what I had was not considered to be significant, but to me it was important. For some strange reason, I ended up getting a safety deposit box in Huntsville, Alabama. I was hoping that they couldn’t connect it to me in Chattanooga. Of course, I was completely wrong, but I felt that I had at least tried. It was almost a two-hour drive, but I didn’t mind.

The garage door at the apartment was fairly secure, but I installed a new hasp and a heavy-duty lock, just to make sure. I had to protect my baby.

It did not take long to get settled in at my new job. The first three nights they had a man work with me, and then they left me on my own. I didn’t have to do anything in the produce or the meat department. The biggest pain was in the frozen food section. I had everything under control after the first two weeks.

For twenty dollars down and ten dollars a month, I got a Planet Fitness membership, which solved my shower problem. The big downside was that I had to give them a credit card number. I had to make another trip to Huntsville to get a credit card at my new bank. I was beginning to see how hard it was to get completely off the grid. Some modifications were going to be necessary. I had no idea how hard Donna would try to look for me, or if she would try at all. To hell with it! I’ll deal with that problem when it comes.

In no time, I had the routine down pat. I started work at ten PM and finished at six. It was a twenty-minute jog, or thirty-minute walk, to Planet Fitness. I had originally joined primarily just for the shower facilities but gradually started using the other gym equipment. By the end of the first month, I was getting almost two hours of gym exercise every day. I felt better and I was also losing a little weight. I never considered myself to be heavy, but I was a bit flabby.

It felt good to get back into a routine. I was comfortable with my new job and enjoyed it. It was repetitious, but it was also different. Hard to explain, but I am sure you can figure out what I mean. I did my job and they left me alone.

The gym was also a good selection. In no time at all, I had decided what exercises I liked to do and which ones to avoid. I discovered that I got no pleasure or enjoyment working with heavy weights. Since I was running to my workout every day, the treadmills held no interest for me. I started each day with the Planet Fitness circuit workout. That took about thirty minutes. I then spent twenty minutes on the C2-rowing machine, twenty minutes on the stair stepper, and finished up with twenty minutes on an upright bike.

I never got a TV, but I did get a used desktop computer with a nice size monitor. My daily entertainment consisted mostly of You Tube videos. I didn’t cook much but did find that my eating habits sort of evolved a bit. Although it was not my intention, I found myself drifting toward a KETO-type diet. Combining that with my odd working hours, I realized that I was also doing a bit of fasting.

After three months, I was feeling better and losing weight. It was time to call my daughters again. This time I called Linda.

“Hi! Linda, It’s your Dad.”

“Well, it is about time. We were all concerned about you. Are you okay?”

“Yes. I am great. Don’t worry about me. I have always been able to take care of myself. I am calling just to make sure that your Mother is doing okay.”

“Mom is doing great. It seems like she got a raise at work and loves her job. She is, however, extremely pissed at you. She said that you deserted her at her promotion celebration and then left home like a hurt little boy. Those are the words that she used. She said you were jealous of her success.”

“Well, I am sorry, but I can’t add anything to that. Until she is ready to tell you the truth, that is all I have”

“She said that things are a bit tight without your income, but with her raise she can handle it.”

“Well, I am happy for her. Did she tell you anything about her new job?”

“Just that she is making more money and gets to travel a lot.”

I did not respond. After a slight pause, Linda started up again. “Will you be coming home for Christmas?”

“I don’t think so. I’ll try and send something for you and Lara.”

“We don’t need or want anything, Dad. We would rather have you here.”