Chapter 7

“So, is this relationship a ... closed one, this group thing, or not?” Mom asked me in the van, making me shrug.

“You know, that’s still not entirely clear to me yet. But that’s because it’s so fresh and new. I never expected this. I mean, hell, I haven’t finished with Uncle Sam yet, technically speaking. They could still, theoretically, stop-loss me and deploy me somewhere. It’s happened to others, you know. But I know that these are the big four for me ... I don’t really plan to get into anything major with anyone else, at least right now. I’m still ... ironing out the details.

“I didn’t even do much with Vicky until today, physically speaking, and I did nothing with any of the others until today as well. I’ve been rather blindsided by it all ... I mean, for instance, am I really bi or just bi-curious ... Was the Wayne thing a fluke where it just felt good in the moment? I’m not really attracted to Wayne himself, no offense to him ... so what is that?

“As for Vicky, I had no idea that she was that attached to me. I’ve got no ... way to read women, you know. If I can’t even tell that my twin digs me, what hope is there to interpret hints from other ladies, including Cassidy, Kara, and Sofia ... right? So ... yeah, maybe it’s best that I stick with them ... because that’s extraordinary luck for a guy with no game,” I blushed a bit.

“It’s not a lack of intuition ... it’s a habit of missing the signs because you think like many guys, especially ones who weren’t popular in high school. The thing is also that you didn’t trade on your wealth and status, which I respect. If you had, I guarantee you, the popular girls would have swarmed you. This path was harder for you, but you were rewarded with the kind of girls who give a damn about you for yourself.

“You know that you earned your way through life more than other rich kids. An unfortunate side effect is that it has hurt your confidence to an extent, though I think that the Army rebuilt some of that. Just not enough yet to catch onto signals from your sisters, anyway. It’s also made you a little more jaded about women, which I understand. I haven’t helped by being so conventional, I guess, in some of my advice. It’s hard to break free sometimes from my Congregationalist roots,” Mom related to me.

“Weed and rum help you break free at least a little, though,” I teased her, making her blush now as Wayne drove us to the Omeleteer, a breakfast-heavy diner with a strong nostalgic feel to it.

“It certainly makes me hungrier!” Mom laughed as she replied and noticed how each girl showered me with affection, “damn, these girls all have it bad for you, my son!”

“Well, it’s like Vic told the lesbian waitress at Applebee’s, a former classmate on whom he once had a crush, ‘what’s not to love.’ You remember Shelby, right?” Vicky broke her silence now.

“She’s gay? Wow! Talk about subverting expectations! But, yeah, I remember her ... she was so bubbly and cute ... she probably had a dozen guys drooling over her every second. Certainly had them nice and stiff between the legs! So, she’s still like that, but probably gushing, quite literally, over some butch type, am I right? She’s a very girly girl, very ‘femme,’ I think, is the term,” Mom reacted with true astonishment now.

“Well, she’s engaged to Cameron, who’s more tomboy than butch or dull dyke, but yeah. She showed me her engagement ring, too. It’s cubic zirconium, yes, but on the higher end and is at least conflict-free. You can be sure of that much, if nothing else. That literature that Arnold showed me on conflict diamonds ... yikes! I don’t know if I’ll be able to set foot inside a jeweler’s quite the same ever again.

“Anyway, Cameron even popped the question in true, old-school fashion, down on one knee and all that jazz. It’s not my thing, but if you want that, being Sapphic shouldn’t disqualify you from it. A lesbian can still be treated as a lady by ... well, her lady, if that’s what both of them want. In any case, it was quite the fine rock for a fake diamond,” I indulged in a little gossip, a guilty pleasure for a supposedly straight guy (but what if I was bi?).

“Yeah, you’re bi ... you’ve got these obvious masculine, hetero things that scream out at first notice, but then you start gossiping like a drag queen and it’s pretty clear that you have that other side to you. You must have hidden that very well in basic, though,” Mike asserted.

“In the Army in general, yes, despite the end of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell.’ Being too feminine, whatever your sexual orientation, is not something that is encouraged by Uncle Sam when you need to bury your feelings deep and soldier on. It comes out at the weirdest times, anyway,” I was now beet-red and a little flustered.

“He’s still quite manly enough for me, Mrs. Chung,” Sofia reassured Mom.

“Please ... call me ‘Mom.’ You’re marrying my son. That pretty much makes you family, well ahead of any nuptials. Little advice, though. Don’t make him apologize for everything, even if he’s right, as so many wives do. Men hate that and it builds resentment that seethes for years until it finally implodes the marriage. They might cave at first, but it will ultimately come back to bite you in the ass. Trust me, I know. It was no small factor in the failure of my first marriage,” Mom counseled Sofia, who looked at me and winked.

“She’s already working on her charm offensive, Mom. I don’t see the need to worry about Sofia,” Cassidy snickered.

“Well, as they say, you catch more flies with honey,” Kara pointed out.

“Indeed ... you do ... and I’m just a hungry spider spinning my web, lining it with honey traps everywhere,” Sofia teased us now.

“Honey trap number one,” Kara pointed to herself.

“Honey trap number two,” Vicky giggled.

“Honey trap number three!” Cassidy blurted with delight.