Chapter 12: Getting The Crow

Wednesday July 30, 2008

There was no time like the present to get Crow from the cabin. Tony told us where, it was a long drive. He also made a suggestion about himself. I put the 49 troops and two soldiers - Tony knew who the hard guys were right away - into a truck. Cynthia also wanted to go so I followed in a second vehicle. Tony was with me, he was bagged until we were close to his cabin in the mountains. It was a long drive, Tony’s cabin was remote, but remarkably Cynthia managed to chatter the whole time, without once mentioning that she was pregnant.

I was quite amazed.

We planned to run a little bit of theater when we picked up Crow, making it seem like we were a third party (“brown coats”) snatching Crow and killing Tony in a shoot-out. You never know when a little disinformation will pay off later. Except for Tony everybody wore masks. Tony went in first, like things were normal, and began to make coffee, telling Crow they were going to play a question and answer game - the type where hot water was used on body parts. Tony would enjoy the coffee and ask the question. If Tony didn’t like the answer, Crow would have some very hot water. Crow would yell. Then Tony would repeat the question.

Crow did not feel good about the game, but really had no choice.

Soon after Tony brewed the coffee and got settled the “brown coat attack” came. Crow saw Tony killed (using squibs - this is LA, we got them at a drug store). Men wearing adhesive-bonded domino masks grabbed up Crow and introduced him to organic cuare.

Once Crow stopped moving we added some LSD to a second needle to make his life more interesting. He thought surely one of the needles was meth, but after the first one all he could move was his face and he got really confused, then pissed, about it. I would be pissed too if all I could move was my facial muscles. But the idea was that he could not do anything, which made him easy to handle. He was bagged so he wouldn’t be distracted by the scenery.

Before Crow was loaded into the truck I noticed a tattoo on one of his arms, so I called an audible on the play. We loaded him onto the truck bed, and hogtied him there for easy handling and peace of mind. Then Cynthia did a sweet “airline stew” voice. First she said we were taking off. Then once the LSD had a good hold on his abused brain Cynthia announced that they were diving down into the sand on the way to the hidden temple of the Drow. “Watch out for the small spiders. The big ones? Well, you can’t do anything about them, can you? When they implant their eggs it will not hurt much ... you must know there are no pain receptors inside the brain. But when they hatch and get hungry ... well, thanks for the memories.” Compliments of the LSD, plus his tattooed devotion to a online D&D group, Crow believed it all. Just to make it interesting she lightly touched him in a few places. Crow immediately tried to twitch like he had spiders walking on him.

He still couldn’t move but it was great fun to watch.

Like the Stinger and the dessert prison, curare was another wonder to Tony’s eyes. He had heard of the stuff of course, but he wondered where I got so much of the drug. I told him it grows like weeds; pick the right weeds and after that it is all downhill. Amazon natives made it with minimal equipment. Our pet Nazis refined the process.

“Pet Nazis?”

“Men like my grandfather,” Irene said, with some irritation. Tony concluded that Irene did not sound nice when she was irritated.

The stuff I had was actually refined using formulas developed by German scientists escaping after WW2, they were in high demand but decided they did not want to go East or West. Our Cousins talked them into a trip south using a borrowed submarine. The tropics, and tropical women, sounded good to them.

The Patron was willing to return the sub to it’s rightful owner, but nobody asked for it back ... the short troublemaker was already dead in his bunker. The sub has been sitting in a jungle river ever since. Currently it is home to some real snakes - pythons.

Tony was so curious about the curare he almost asked to try a shot. Cynthia responded by saying some experiments were better in bed. She might arrange something.

Tony thought he might like that idea. “Gee, you have so many neat toys,” he said to me.

Following my audible we split up for our return drive.

Irene went in the truck with a soldier named Rojas, plus Tony and Crow who were both bagged. Tony sat in front while Crow was hogtied in back. They took a direct route, bypassing LA traffic and cameras. Cynthia chose to go with that group to give Tony some pleasant company. Despite the fact that Tony was in a bag those two were getting along like Pammie and Tonto were already married so they were related and waiting for a blessed announcement. I gathered things were going well for the star-crossed in romantic Portland. I was pleased for all concerned.

I and the 49 troops took the indirect route, making stops in LA. I made some phone calls to set things up at the apartment building where I dropped off the guys, then to the mansion where I dropped off the other soldier and picked up a soldier named Felipe, along with the indians Vrir and Nia who would deal with housekeeping and cooking for the 2 or 3 days we might need. Skinny Nia was really showing her growing baby bump and was a horny as ever, which I figured Tony would not mind. Out of an excess of caution she had been to the doctor every week and was doing fine. On his way to the mansion Felipe had stopped at Samantha’s for some of her pets and a mask I knew she had. Zar also filled a cooler with some food for us.