Chapter 1

I like my job, first because I’m good at what I do and second because my coworkers are amazing. I always had an affinity with them, on and off work and, we regularly go out for drinks. One day there was an unfamiliar man, his name was Robert, he had being transferred and was going to work with us. What I didn’t imagine was that something else was going to happen.

Robert was a charismatic person. It was easy to be comfortable around him, and I soon found out he was going to work with me. I don’t know why, but I felt that day that we had a mutual attraction. I had crushes before, my solution was simple, ignore it until the feelings go away and it wouldn’t be different, right?

It was very interesting to work with him, but in the early days was an uncomfortable interaction. Trying to reduce the tension, he used jokes to break the ice, and it worked. As time goes by, I became more comfortable with him. We could talk about things unrelated to work and even give advice to each other.

Robert has a wife and two daughters, his marriage seemed to be healthy and I could see that he loved his wife and daughters. He and I had a great emotional connection and without realizing I was turning my crush on him into something I wouldn’t have the strength to control.

Working 2 months together, I already felt the first symptoms of infatuation. At home I kept thinking about him and we exchange messages all the time. My libido increased a lot, and this made the frequency of sex with my husband increase, but not only that, I masturbated frequently. I tried to think about other things, but now and then he would appear in my mind to the point of being one of my fantasies.

The months passed, and the intensity of my feelings for Robert grew a lot. I suspected he felt the same way for me, but neither of us said anything, why? Fear. Fear, because saying it out loud would confirm that these feelings were real and not a fantasy. I mean, I’m married and happy, he’s too. Go on this path would be stupid.

The problem with trying to ignore feelings is that they often accumulate and when it overflows, you can’t control it anymore. At 6 months my feelings for him were so intense, so intense that affect my personal life. One day I couldn’t stand it and confessed my feelings to him, not hoping for something but to have closure. I spent the entire day wondering how I would do it. I wait until everyone left and he and I stayed alone. I said it right away because I thought I would go crazy. I told him I had feelings for him. They grew in the last months and at that point I was totally in love for him. Say these words aloud took such a heavy weight off my shoulders. The silence took over the place, and the seconds seemed like hours until he looked at me and said he felt the same. He kept saying that he tried to fight those feelings, but he couldn’t. Two adults, married and happy but sharing a forbidden love.

The following days were strange, the tension that existed between us increased. I told him I felt guilty because I was cheating on my husband and as passionate as I was, I would not leave my family.

The biggest problem in our agreement that none of us drew a “limit”. Our texts that at first are flirtatious turned into romantic phrases and I would even say a little sexual. My desire for him to this point surpassed any feeling of guilt and shame that still existed. This forbidden love grew with each passing day, and the sexual tension overwhelmed me so much that I took breaks from work to compose myself. It seemed unfair to have so much desire and the only way to show it was through of words. Words that often failed to express how much I was in love with him.

Usually our work hours increase towards the end of the year and Robert and I were working late every day. Besides constant praise and flirting, we did nothing physical, but one day things changed.