Chapter 2

Angie and Tricia had long since been introduced to each other and at first I’d worried that they might not get along. My brother had been married over a year by the time I met Tricia and we started dating. Of course, I wanted to share my excitement with Don and it wasn’t difficult to arrange a chance meeting. My brother and I had been doing things like this going back to when I’d been a fresh faced cheerleader in middle school. And by this, I mean ‘accidentally’ bumping into him and his wife at a local pizza place on our second date.

It would have been weird to start introducing my brand spanking new girlfriend to my family that quickly. I think I’d known her three weeks? Less than that, probably, and we weren’t even a real couple yet. Maybe it’s true that queer people move in and out of relationships faster than most hetero folks, but to tell the truth, it never seemed that way to me. But there I was telling Don, “I love this chick, bro. You gotta meet her!”

“What’s she look like?” he asked, getting right to the point.

“Smokin’!”

“You always say that,” he reminded me. “That one girl was kinda ugly though.”

“What? Who?” I stared at my phone. “I never dated an ugly girl in my life!”

“Well, ugly might be too strong of a word,” he admitted. “I forget her name. Jackie? The red head. She didn’t have any tits and those braces on her teeth...”

“That was your girlfriend!” I shrieked, laughing.

“Oh yeah. I forgot. Sorry.”

“And she was in the ninth grade, you dope. I bet she’s hot as fuck right now.”

“Probably,” Don agreed with a sigh. “So you wanna meet at Mama’s Place?”

“Yeah, but kind of early. I’m taking her to the movies.”

“Which one?”

“I don’t care,” I said, truthfully. “We’re not gonna be watching it.”

“Okay, we’ll swing by about six,” he told me. “She’d better be worth it.”

“Don’t worry, Angie’s gonna be fine.”

“She’ll never believe it’s an accident.”

“I’ll look amazingly surprised,” I promised, but that only made us both laugh.

Fuck. Angie hated me, or at least she didn’t like me very much and it was all because of her jealousy. So what if Don and I talked every day on the phone? He’s my brother, you stupid cow! That’s what I wanted to yell at her when Angie got especially pissy about it. Like the time we were talking and it was, I dunno, around midnight or something. We were just talking, not even on video. Don was in the bathroom with the door closed, or so he told me later, because he didn’t want to bother his sleeping wife. It makes sense, right? He’s a considerate guy. He loves her, so why wouldn’t he close the door?

And we’re talking. Actually, I was talking and my brother was listening. I’d met this girl from Ireland who was one of those exchange students. She kept giving me all the right signals, but when I’d tried to talk to her she’d totally shut me down. It didn’t make sense and I was bitching about it because, you know, she was Irish and I so wanted to fuck her!

Suddenly, I heard Angie asking my brother, “Who are you talking to in the middle of the night?”

“It’s Barb,” Don replied, quite reasonably.

“Really?” And a second later, she was on the phone saying, “Who is this?”

And I said, “It’s me ... Barbara.”

“Great,” Angie growled, and gave the phone back to Don. “Why didn’t you just marry her instead?”

Of course, she just had to say something like that to my brother and I felt kind of bad for him. I mean, they were on their honeymoon and I probably shouldn’t have called, but ... I needed someone to talk to! Actually, I think what really pissed her off was that my brother wasn’t talking to some ex-girlfriend or something. Like, she actually would have preferred it if Don was cheating on her instead of talking to his little sister. How fucked up is that?

Anyway, I always went out of my way to be nice to my sister-in-law and the truth is that I really do like her a lot. I think she’s awesome most of the time. I mean, Angie’s definitely the hottest chick my brother ever went out with and even that ginger, Jackie? She hadn’t been close to being a dog. She just didn’t have any tits, being all of fifteen or whatever she’d been at the time. Sometimes my brother could be a shallow prick, but that’s most people, really, even me.

Angie had tits, though. Nice ones. Way more than a mere handful for me, but I’m not very big, either. I’m blessed with small hands and a large clit, and while I wasn’t sure about Angie’s clitoris, I had gotten a peek or two at her plump brown nipples. It burned me a bit that my brother could taste those perky little girls whenever the urge struck. I envied him that and I kept hoping he’d knock her up just so I could watch her chest swell with mother’s milk and catch a glimpse of her breasts literally dripping with lust ... I mean, my lust. Not hers, probably.

I get off on pregnant women and I don’t know why. Like most people, I have my sexual quirks and also like most people, I’m not in the habit of discussing them, not even with my lovers. Especially not with my lovers. And again, I’m not sure why that should be true. I mean, okay, being gay and having a crazy sexual attraction for pregnant women may seem a little odd, but I don’t really think so. I love girls and what could possibly be more girly than having a child? It’s more or less the definition of womanhood, or at least one of them. I wouldn’t define myself solely by my ability to get pregnant, and I would never, ever want to get pregnant, but the potential exists and so it must define me at least in part.

Believe me, I’ve gotten into bar fights with real Diesel Dykes over my wacky anti-feminist feminism, so if you disagree ... I won’t care. Just don’t get in my face or I’ll punch you in the cunt.

Like my brother’s wife, I really think that my girlfriend, Tricia, would make a great Mommy. I mean, she’s a total femme, for one thing. She even liked boys for a while, back when she was like fifteen and sixteen. She’d had a boyfriend and everything, but they hadn’t fucked. Tricia had never had a cock that wasn’t strapped around another girl’s hips.

Of course, even when she’d been dating that boy, whoever he was, Tricia had suspected she was gay. But she’d wanted to know for certain, and that’s cool. It didn’t bother me that her first kiss had been given to a boy. Why would it? She was kissing me now and that’s all that matters. In the beginning of our relationship, I wouldn’t say that I’d loved her. We’d moved in together, sure, but only because she’s so damn gorgeous and I like waking up to that, you know? I like having a hot femme on my arm and showing her off. I like the way she could make me feel special with just smile or a touch on the back of my hand.

And then I started to get to know her as a real person and not just a big bottle of cocoa butter for my ego. Did I love her now? Definitely. When she wasn’t being jealous of my brother. When she wasn’t being a bitch. At first, I wasn’t going to stay with her and I figured we probably had six months together, maybe a little more than that, call it a year. Tops. But now I started thinking maybe we could really have something. I started thinking that just maybe it would be nice to stop chasing Jane all the time and be happy for a change.

And maybe that explains more than anything else why I let my thoughts wander into places dark and previously unknown. I’d always been a bitch, but I hadn’t been evil until I started thinking about what a great mother my beautiful girlfriend would make ... Whether she wanted to be a Mommy or not.

Back to that fateful afternoon, on our way to my brother’s house for Sunday dinner with him and his lovely wife. Tricia sat pouting in the passenger seat. You wouldn’t think so maybe, but she looks incredibly sexy when she pouts. She would cross her arms over her breasts and tuck her chin into her neck. She pursed her lips and dropped her eyelids, not closing her eyes all the way, but glaring at the world through her long eyelashes.

Tricia had amazing eyes, such a light shade of brown that beneath a bright summer sun they took on a deep golden hue. Everywhere else they were still bright and warm, and friendly ... even when she wasn’t.

“Come on,” I sighed, reaching for her thigh. “Don’t be mad, Tricia. I’m with you. There’s nobody else and you know that.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, unhappily. “But I just want it to be us once in awhile, you know? By ourselves. I love you so much and sometimes, well ... It feels like I don’t even know you.”

“What?” I smiled and slid my hand back and forth. “You know me better than anyone else in the world.”

“Even your brother?”

I made a face. “Don doesn’t count,” I replied. “Neither does my mom and dad, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Tricia began to relent, finally. “I’m sorry, Barb. I don’t know why I get like this sometimes. I’m not trying to be jealous, but I can’t help it sometimes.”

“Okay, look.” I glanced over my shoulder and pulled up to the curb, putting the car in park next to a fire hydrant.

I turned in my seat, scowling as I had to fight the stupid seat belt and I finally took it off. It wasn’t even three o’clock yet, and I was never punctual for anything, so we had time. Tricia had dressed up nicely, the way she always does for just about everything. She wasn’t the kind of girl that wore a lot of jeans, you know? She liked short skirts and silk blouses, designer knock-offs, strappy heels, and expensive perfume. If I ever married this chick I was going to go broke just trying to keep her pet closet fed.