Chapter 30

“Don’t call me ma’am. I am just going on one date with your brother. We aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend or anything,” Becky said. She liked Joe, and she hoped he would like her too. She just didn’t want to let on that was going to be possible.

“Sorry,” Becky replied in a contrite tone. “I guess when I was here the last time, I kind of wanted to see what it was like,” she admitted.

“You are a dumbass then,” Candy laughed at her as she let her hot dog drop into the bowl.

The girls were only permitted to use their faces to eat. They stuck their noses into the stainless steel bowl and one by one, began to slurp and eat the disgusting muck. It was edible, but just barely. “This tastes like dog food,” Candy complained to everyone.

“Surprise! All the food you cook us tastes like low-grade dog food. So your leftovers should taste like dog food that has been shoved up your fat ass,” Harlan reminded Candy. Candy, Becky, and Tammy had eaten like this many times before. They pushed their asses up and spread their legs wide as they huffed down their food. Barbie struggled to eat and chew the sloppy mess, and a few times she had to pause for a second to stop herself hurling. It really was that awful.

“So you guys like how we live? You’ve only been here one other time. How would you even have any idea about how we live?” Dylan asked Joe quite pointedly.

“I didn’t say that. Barbie did,” Joe clarified quite seriously. “Barbie wanted to come out of her shell and learn to be more adventurous. I agreed to take charge of her and teach her. I think seeing how your mom and sister live, was the catalyst for her wanting to behave like a good slut,” Joe admitted.

“Hey, don’t forget aunt Candy!” Candy farted exceptionally loudly. Everyone groaned in disgust, even Joe and Barbie. She wafted it with her hand toward the others.

“Some role model you are, mom,” Brody teased his mother.

“You love the smell of my farts, and you know it, Brody!” Candy teased her son as if it was no big deal to be naked in front of him and it wasn’t – at least to any of them.

Joe imagined his own mother in the same position on the floor during dinner. Helen was very uptight and was raised very conservatively. She had blonde hair and a slightly upturned nose that made her look very regal and stuck-up, just like Barbie. He snickered at the thought of the kinds of things Kevin and Ariel might pretend she was saying with her pussy lips while they watched her pull them apart during such a performance.

It was so far removed from his own realm of possibility, and yet the very fantasy of his mother joining Barbie like that during dinner, gave him an impossible to manage boner.

Joe was so caught up in the back and forth between Brody and his mother that he almost didn’t notice until Harlan insisted Candy stand up and stop eating. She had obviously offered some hateful comments toward Brody that were offensive even by the standards of the Simmons family.

Candy’s personality reminded Joe of the singer Courtney Love. She was brash, rude, inconsiderate, and yet she usually obeyed her brother when he gave her an order.

Her pretty nose and mouth were covered in the slop she had been eating and a little of it had dripped down onto her swollen tits. “Fine. If you want to play the big man, go on and spank me, Harlan. I don’t give a damn,” Candy put her hands on her knees and bent over – sticking her big ass out, only a few inches from Joe’s face. Candy didn’t seem the least bit humiliated by spreading her legs in front of her brother. She only appeared impatient, as if she wanted to him to hurry up and get this exercise over as quickly as possible so she could get back to doing something else.

“Oh no. You have been talking back to Brody and pushing his buttons all day,” Harlan reminded her. “It’s about time he got to spank your fat ass!”

“C’mon Harlan, that’s just how I joke with the little booger burglar,” Candy didn’t stand up straight. She kept her knees bent, and her ass stuck out. She looked over shoulder and implored Harlan not to let her own son spank her.

“Yeah, and joking is fine to a point. You don’t have any respect for him at all,” Harlan insisted.

“I don’t have any respect for you either,” Candy tried to contain her laughter, but she couldn’t. She looked straight ahead. “Just give me ten hard ones so I can finish eating, get dressed and go make you some fucking money, Harlan. Stop trying to show off for your guests,” Candy inferred that Harlan was putting on a bit of a show for Joe and Barbie’s sake.

“I ain’t showing off! You get spanked almost every night at Dinner!” Harlan insisted.

“Yeah, but you’ve never told Brody he could step up to the plate and slap my ass before, Harlan! How about you let Joe have a turn instead?” Candy cooed invitingly. It was clear she wanted to fuck Joe – it would definitely drive Becky crazy with jealousy, if she did.

“You called Brody a cock-sucking gerbil monkey, so he is the one who gets to spank you! It is about time he learn to keep the womenfolk of the house in line,” Harlan insisted. He told Brody to stop eating and stand up. Brody was busy stuffing his face nervously. He liked making wise-cracks, but he looked incredibly nervous when singled out.

“I call him worse all the time. Brody knows I don’t mean nothing by it,” Candy harrumphed. Still, she sighed and surrendered to her brother’s decision. “Go ahead and get it over with, Brody,” she said.

“You sure?” Brody seemed skeptical as he approached his mother’s ass. He was almost fearful.

“This is a one-time thing, though, right?” Candy was clearly asking Harlan and not Brody.

“Sure it is,” Harlan smiled at her generously but added with a wicked grin “As long as you start watching your tone around your son.”

“You bastard!” Candy gritted her teeth and admonished her brother. “You know there is no way I can talk to that little freckle pecker without making fun of him. It’s how I show my affection.”

“Then you will have a pretty pink ass to match your sexy thighs,” Harlan grinned.

“You think my thighs are sexy?” Candy was a sucker for a genuine compliment. Candy’s thighs were exceptionally well contoured from frequently wearing high heels as a dancer.

She had been a stripper since she was a teenager, and even before then, her mother had insisted she regularly wear high heels. Candy had a muscle divot that ran down the side of her thighs and well-toned calves as well.

“Quit stalling and grab your ankles,” Harlan insisted.

“I am pregnant, Harlan,” Candy insisted with her swollen belly. It was quite challenging for her to grab her ankles.

“You’d grab your ankles and pull them over your head if I let Joe plow you,” Harlan joked.

“Well, yeah! But that’s a different story,” Candy looked over her shoulder and smiled invitingly at Joe – she even winked at him. Candy sighed and grabbed her ankles and spread her legs wide so that the pink folds of her pussy were fully exposed. She looked straight ahead and pretended this wasn’t incredibly humiliating.

“My Daddy taught me how to spank an ass about the time I was your age,” Harlan explained some of the finer points of applying a hand to a woman’s bottom. Joe took notes as well. “When you connect with their ass, leave your hand in place and press down into the flesh at the moment of impact. This will drive the force of the impact right through their body, making them feel the full power of your strike! Second, right as you make maximum contact with your hand, pull it away. This will do the opposite of the first, giving the person being spanked a very sharp stingy feel without the intense thud. It is short, sweet, and oh so noticeable,”’he assured his nephew.

“Shit, you still don’t know how to do it proper, Harlan!” Candy challenged her brother. She was trying to goad him into spanking her instead of letting her son do it. Tammy and Becky both laughed in unison while they continued to eat from the slop bowl with Barbie, who was doing her best to keep up with the other girls and not knock heads with them while they shared the same dish.

Brody was much smaller than his mother. Candy looked a little like a giantess in part because of her swollen tits and belly due to her pregnancy. Candy had a very healthy glow about her despite eating slop or junk food, smoking heavily, and drinking mostly vodka and beer. He looked intimidated by his mother’s sizable rump rather than the fact it was his MOTHER’S rump he was preparing to spank.

The first time Brody spanked his mother, he ignored everything Harlan had told him. He slapped her ass with the flat of his hand. It caused a nice thud and sting both at the same time, but it barely registered with Candy. She was used to being spanked, and she rolled her eyes. “Let me know when you start, Brody!” she teased.

“You will count all twenty out and do a proper affirmation,” Harlan insisted that his sister stop joking around and take this punishment seriously.

“I don’t mind twenty but do we really need to do an affirmation? I’ve got to get to work, and these little rugrats want to get to their little dance,” Candy suggested. She didn’t really give a shit about the others in the room getting to the dance. She was just using it as another excuse to hurry things along.

“What is an affirmation, Uncle Harlan?” Brody asked.

“Shit, Boy! You watch me give them to the girls all the fucking time. Where have you been?” Harlan seemed disappointed. Brody wasn’t the brightest bulb in the lampshade.

“Is that where you ask a bunch of questions, and they have to answer them?” Brody guessed.

“Harlan, seriously. The little fart sniffer isn’t ready for this! Can’t YOU just do it? I’m starting to fall asleep,” Candy chuckled. She planted her feet further apart as if trying to intimidate her son with the sight of her spread open pussy while he was standing so close.

“You know how on Flappy Friday you make fun of your mom for the way she behaves?” Harlan explained simply to Brody, “All you do differently for this is ask her questions about her shortcomings and make her admit what she does wrong. You’ve seen me do it a million times. Now cup your hand like I showed you and try again.” Harlan believed in the sink or swim method of learning - throwing someone in the pond and letting them figure it out.

“Why are you such a bitch to me?” Brody’s first question was punctuated by a much more impressive swat to his mother’s ass. The sound was noticeably louder, and Candy’s sudden jump was a sign that it shocked her as well.

“I am an equal opportunity bitch, Brody. I make fun of everyone. You just have the misfortune to be around me all the time,” Candy admitted with a churlish grin.

Brody looked up at Harlan for approval.

“The spankings don’t count unless you count them,” Harlan reminded his sister.

“Two, thank you, Brody!” Candy added reluctantly.

“You can’t count after they’ve been delivered, and you will call Brody ‘Sir’ while he is spanking your ass,” Harlan assured his sister.